Rolf Lulloff - Parkinson's, the Brain, and "Fighting the Damn Disease" - Ep. #7

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That means I get paid double,
right?

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Yeah, yeah, Zero times.
Double of zero.

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Yeah.
Double I was.

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I was surprised you didn't run
here this morning.

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Pardon.
I was surprised you didn't.

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I thought you were going to come
running up to my door this

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morning.
Yeah.

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I don't smell good then?
No, you know, I'm still on a

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little bit.
I'm, I'm in a recovery mode yet,

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so I've got to take it easy yet.
But I I I'm ready to run it.

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Yesterday was going to be my
first day of of doing some easy

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running, but then it started to
rain and I got lazy.

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Sure.
Because what it was within the

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last couple years, you said you
did your last Boston Marathon,

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right?
Well, I tried.

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I did my last Boston Marathon in
2014, and I was 72.

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And my best Boston Marathon I
did when I was 36.

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When I did it in 72 or when I
was 72.

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Twice.
Exactly twice as old.

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It took me exactly twice as
long.

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Really.
Yeah, So.

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And I ran the entire way.
But you know, my body at age 72

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is not what it was when I was
36.

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Furthermore, I was perfectly
trained.

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God smiled, and Anne allowed me
to do it.

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Yeah, well, she got a nice Saint
John John knit out of it, so.

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Yeah, she knew what she was
doing, yeah.

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How how many have you done?
I did Boston four times.

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I've done 12 marathons.
I did New York one time.

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I didn't run my first marathon
until I was 32 and we were in

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service, so I had time to train.
And that was the a year and a

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half after Frank Shorter won the
Olympic marathon.

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And when I saw him do that, I
said I can run a marathon.

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So.
And you.

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And you hadn't.
Did you run for pleasure before

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that?
Yeah, well, I ran for fitness,

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For pleasure.
I guess running for pleasure,

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that's kind of, that's a maybe
an oxymoron.

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I don't know.
Well, no, it isn't.

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You get addicted to it.
Yeah, you and it physical

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exercise to share your brain if
you do it correctly, because you

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stimulate your muscles, produce
certain chemicals including

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BDNF, brain derived neurotrophic
factor and that stimulates all

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sorts of things metabolically in
our body, but in the brain it

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stimulates new new new nerve
formation and new strengthening

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of the electrical connections
between nerves.

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That's sort of a little bit
wrong, because it's chemical

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electric connections.
Nerves communicate both with a

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combination of electricity and
with chemical processes.

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Ultimately, it's probably all
electric, but what stimulates

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the electrical passages are
chemical changes as well.

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So it is.
It is phenomenally fascinating.

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And there's no doubt that got me
really interested.

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And especially with Anne and her
Parkinson's.

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And we learned, we learned how
to train her brain because her

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brain is suffering like a
smoldering fire now.

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It's not a fire, but yet it is
sort of a fire in a way, because

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it's a chemical process and it's
an electrical process that gets

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disturbed.
Well, that's how the brain

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works.
So all of a sudden, for some

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reason, these proteins, which
are both structural and

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functional, your house is a
structure.

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Do your walls move?
No.

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Do you open your refrigerator
door to get something out?

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It's electrical.
It's all sorts of things that we

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take for granted and we take for
granted our brains, because our

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brains are chemical, they are
electrical, but they're also

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automatic.
Our brain works whether we're

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thinking about them or not,
whether we're directing them or

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not.
So you get going with it.

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And it's just so amazing.
The universe is phenomenally

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complex.
Our brains are equally complex.

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We don't understand everything
about the universe and we don't

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understand everything about our
brain, not.

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Even close to either one.
That's right.

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And we're learning.
We are learning, and that's was

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exciting, and writing the book
about Anne and what we learned.

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Yeah, yeah.
I'm so excited to talk about

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that.
When we got a chance to connect,

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I I learned so much just in that
little conversation.

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I'm excited to talk.
I I think we'd probably be

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remiss to not start with how you
and Anne met though I I think

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that kind of starts the story,
right?

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So you were in medical school at
the time?

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I was going into medical school,
yeah.

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I was a wet behind the ears 21
year old pre Med student and got

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into medical school because my
grains were good, my grades were

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good and I studied hard.
I played too but as any college

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students would and so I got
accepted after three years.

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So here I am.
I turned 21 about three months

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before the summer started.
I was going to start medical

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school in September at Madison
and I needed a job and I got a

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job in the research lab
sponsored program by the

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government to stimulate medical
students to think about

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research.
So I started in this lab middle

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of June, and that day at 4:00 in
the afternoon and walks this

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cute gal who had just graduated
from UW.

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Four years that, and she was
actually a year and a half older

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than I was.
And her degree was in medical

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technology.
She was a medical technologist,

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work in the labs.
They do the blood testing,

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Urines testing, all sorts of
things like that, and it

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qualifies them to do a lot of
things in the laboratories, in

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hospitals and clinics and things
like that.

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So she was from lacrosse and she
started up or transferred to

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Madison.
And so I have.

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I did not know her at all.
And I immediately learned that

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she had a steady boyfriend,
which was an important thing to

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know.
And what was she doing in our

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lab?
She had the intern in the

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hospital lab for three months so
she could get her license to

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work in hospitals.
And she had already taken a job

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in Milwaukee, get interviewed
and taken a job in Milwaukee at

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a hospital lab there.
I didn't know that at the time.

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So she and I met I.
So we were on a first name

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basis.
She'd come in at 4:00 every

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afternoon to clean the lab.
The messes that the other

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medical student and I would
make.

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Just say hi, how are you?
5 weeks later.

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I walk into the lab on a
Thursday morning and the other

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medical student was there and he
said, Ralph, are you dating

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anyone?
And I said no.

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He said you should ask Anne out.
And I said now she's got a

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steady boyfriend.
He said they broke up last week.

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I could not get anything
accomplished that day knowing

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that she'd be there at 4:00 and
when she would come at 4:00.

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If she had worked in the lab all
day and didn't have time to

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change, she'd have her white
uniform on, which form fitted

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her very nicely.
And if she'd had time to change,

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she'd always have Bermuda shorts
and a white blouse that was

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never tucked in.
And so I said, I am.

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Hi Ralph, how are you?
Fine.

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And you?
Fine.

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How would you like to go out and
have a couple of beers?

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She gives me a dirty look, and
my initial reaction immediately

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was, you are.
Who told you that I broke up.

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That was my initial reaction,
and I think it was indeed true.

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I never asked her that.
It's interesting.

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I wish I would have pursued some
of what was going on in her mind

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at that time.
And she immediately she got a

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smile on her face and she said
I'd like that.

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So I walked to her, the
apartment that she was staying

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at, which is only three blocks
from the hospital, and we walked

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down the State Street to the
pub, a beer bar, sat in the

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booth on the left side.
I remember all these things so

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vividly, and we talked nonstop.
We had so many things that we

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were interested in.
She was an excellent tennis

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player.
I'd like to run a little bit.

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I'd been athletically active in
high school, but not in college,

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and so she said we just hit it
off.

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We both had to work the next
day, which was a Friday.

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So we walked back to the
apartment.

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I was trying to think how think
what I was going to say to her.

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And with that she looks at me
and says, might I expect that

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I'd be seeing you again?
I thought, wow, I said I'd like

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that, she said so would I, And
we immediately embraced and

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kissed.
I can tell you that was the the

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most powerful kiss I ever had in
my life.

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It wasn't messy, It was just an
intense welcome to you.

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I'm attracted.
And 51 weeks later we were

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married.
So that's the story of how we

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met, and it was special.
Absolutely.

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And then you ended up, I
believe, going to Milwaukee from

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there.
That's where your kind of next

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step was, right?
Well, yeah, we.

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So she had to go to Milwaukee
and obviously we're not, we're

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not engaged or anything.
We were dating.

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So August we're together or we
date because she's still

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finishing up her internship.
Early September she moves to

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Milwaukee.
I had a car, so I wasn't going

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to let her go.
Did I plan at that time to marry

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her?
No.

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But I can tell you the night of
our first date, as I walked back

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to the where I was staying, I
thought, this is an amazing

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lady.
I could marry her.

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And so I would go down to
Milwaukee once a month.

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And once a month she would bring
ride the Badger bus from

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Milwaukee to Madison and stay
with friends.

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And so we dated twice a month.
And yeah, we, we went through

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the challenges, you know, JFK
president that was assassinated.

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That was the weekend in which I
was going to Milwaukee to visit

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her.
And so it was the most somber

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weekend.
And we were also going to go to

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the Packer game, because the
Packers played three games a

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year in Milwaukee at that time,
and my parents had season

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tickets for that.
So we went to the game again, a

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somber game.
The NFL.

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The AFL.
Because there were two separate

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leagues, the AFL cancelled all
their games that weekend.

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The NFL had them, but without
any celebrations, you know, and

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it was just a somber weekend,
you know, you feel like you got

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hit in the stomach so hard that
you'd never get over it.

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In fact, you don't ever get over
it.

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It was just such a tragedy.
So we get to January and it was

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the time of saying, OK, are you
just going to keep twiddling

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your thumbs in this
relationship?

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Because our relationship was
growing, but it was also growing

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to the point that it was not
being stagnant, but it needed

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some direction and it had to
come from me.

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Her response to everything I did
was wonderful, but she had not

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said long term.
Excuse me, he had not said,

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said, what are we?
Where are we going with this?

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And over the Christmas holidays
we were apart and I thought

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about it.
So I go down the middle of

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January and we're sitting there
talking, having a Manhattan, no,

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I'm, I'm away for the weekend.
So I I can relax, don't have to

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study that much.
And I said let's get married.

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And she was shocked.
And she said what?

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And I said let's get married.
And she said, are you serious?

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And I said yes.
Are you sure?

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I said yes, she said.
I accept.

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I didn't ask her father.
You know it was not the

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traditional get down on your
knees and so and we that's

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January.
So she moved back to Madison in

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March and took her job at
University Hospitals in the lab

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that she then turned with and
every every place she worked she

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she did well and they loved her
and so and we're married the

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middle of July.
I'm starting my second year of

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medical school, so she's
working.

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So we have income to live, live
on.

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And we had over the next nine
years we had three children all

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born in Madison.
And when I did my orthopedic

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residency, which is in Madison,
we were able to have an stay

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home with the kids because I was
making enough money with my

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stipend and moonlighting in an
emergency room to keep a

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solvent.
And so that got us to the end of

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or to the summer of 1972.
We've been married then eight

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years and then two years later
or for two years at from that

229
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:38,080
summer we I had to serve in the
US Army for two years so I was

230
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:46,360
at Fort Dix, NJ and and and the
kids came with us too and the

231
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:49,280
military was it was a wonderful
time for us.

232
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:57,000
Vietnam was essentially over.
If I'd have been one year

233
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:02,280
earlier in my training, I would
have been sent to Vietnam and I

234
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,840
would have, I would have gone
no, no ifs, ands or buts about

235
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,720
it.
And Anne understood that too.

236
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:13,640
We would not have been thrilled,
but you know, serve your

237
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:17,920
country.
And our experience in at Vortex,

238
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:22,600
New Jersey was awesome.
I was one of five fully trained

239
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,560
orthopedic surgeons.
It was a big Army hospital, a

240
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,400
lot of retired people.
So you had a good spectrum of

241
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,480
ages to take care of, yet you
weren't worked to death.

242
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,560
And that's when I started to run
more.

243
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,080
And but Anne blossomed.
She blossomed every place we

244
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,240
went.
She was such a good, good,

245
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:49,560
wonderful wife, wonderful mother
and a wonderful friend of

246
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,160
people.
And she had the ability to

247
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,720
communicate so well with them.
You know, sometimes you don't

248
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,160
know how to break the ice when
you meet somebody for the first

249
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,280
time and get to know them.
And she wasn't nosy.

250
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:07,520
She just was honest and so.
Yeah, I think that's super

251
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,200
interesting.
Can we take a quick sidebar

252
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,480
there?
Vietnam was wrapping up as you

253
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:17,360
were doing that and you said you
were treating a lot of retired

254
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,560
folks.
Is that retired military?

255
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,240
Yes.
People.

256
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,080
So.
So were you seeing some of the

257
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,760
people?
Coming back from Vietnam?

258
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,880
Absolutely.
OK, That had to be pretty

259
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,320
poignant and Oh yeah, heavy at
times.

260
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,440
Well, in in had that experience
it.

261
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:39,480
Even when I was an orthopaedic
residence in Madison, I was at

262
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:52,240
the VA hospital for six months,
and in comes a a young Army

263
00:19:55,080 --> 00:20:00,240
general, general, Army person
who'd been injured in Vietnam.

264
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:11,120
He stepped on a landmine.
Paramedics were right there to

265
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:18,320
save his life, lost his leg at
the hip, severe injuries to his

266
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,240
left arm.
He was in shock.

267
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:29,200
He was pulseless, non breather.
They resuscitated him, called

268
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:34,680
for the the helicopter.
In the 1st 24 hours he had 30

269
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:39,320
pints of blood.
If that had happened any place

270
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:43,640
in the United States on the
street, there's no way would

271
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:48,960
have survived.
The service made you so proud of

272
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,360
what they do.
They are pros.

273
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,920
They're pros at saving their
people.

274
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,880
And that's exactly what happened
to this kid.

275
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:03,280
How is he?
When I see him totally alert?

276
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,760
A wonderful kid.
Yeah, he has no leg.

277
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:15,280
His elbow's a little bit stiff.
And you say, wow, this makes me

278
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:20,600
proud to be somebody that can
care for people, but it makes me

279
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:25,200
proud of our country and our
military.

280
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,120
You can say, well, it was a bad
war.

281
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,640
Yeah, it was.
All wars are bad, but sometimes

282
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,840
they're necessary.
And I'm not saying that that war

283
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,000
was necessary.
It's just like what we're

284
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,320
dealing with right now with two
wars going on, and it's such a

285
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:49,600
tragedy that human beings are
more animals than in violent,

286
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,760
like you with your two cats.
The one is really nice and the

287
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,360
one isn't so much.
That's right.

288
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:03,120
But the but people are like that
you know and so and at any rate

289
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,120
if I'd have gone if I'd have
gone in the in been sent to

290
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:15,240
Vietnam, I'm sure I would have
been exposed to similar similar

291
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:20,040
stories.
I took care of a active duty Air

292
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:26,280
Force person that was the only
survivor in a plane crash in in

293
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:34,920
Spain right next to Fort Dix.
IS was a big Air Force Base and

294
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:42,640
so we supplied all their
healthcare and a military

295
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:51,160
transport had had about 2020
people on it would fly from New

296
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:57,640
Jersey hauling military
equipment to Turkey.

297
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,720
So it stopped three or four
places to refuel.

298
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:09,760
And this plane was, it was
coming back and it's the middle

299
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:17,480
of the night and who knows what
what happened, but the guy I

300
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,680
took care of was a one of the
two navigators on the plane and

301
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,440
he was not on on on duty right
then.

302
00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:33,520
The other one was and they're
coming in to refuel at AUS Air

303
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:40,280
base in Spain 2:00 AM and they
crash.

304
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:47,720
Nobody knows why that plane came
down 30 miles short of the

305
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,760
airport.
But then they they look at the

306
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,560
radar and they could see it's
going down, down, down.

307
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:59,600
What's Is a pilot dead?
Is is a pilot asleep?

308
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,560
What What's going on?
And of course, they probably

309
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:06,200
didn't have the backup systems
in airplanes that automatically

310
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,600
would wake everybody up.
Who knows?

311
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:15,880
Everybody was killed except this
one guy and his He was strapped

312
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:24,000
in his seat, sleeping, and it
was thrown out, clear of all the

313
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:29,880
other wreckage.
And so there were 30 miles from

314
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:37,160
the Air Force Base people nearby
here at the crash Spaniards and

315
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,880
they and they know that it's a
military thing.

316
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:49,600
So they call the air base and
they era back him to Frankfurt

317
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:57,160
to the big Army hospital.
And he he never had to be

318
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,960
resuscitated, but he had
multiple orthopedic injuries and

319
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,040
then was sent back to the
States.

320
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,720
And I took care of them.
And it's interesting because

321
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:18,400
when I was working part time at
Prevail, I showed up one day and

322
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,040
they said, oh, we got some of
your mail here and I'm going

323
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:28,640
through the mail.
This guy survived obviously and

324
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,560
tracked me down wondered because
they were writing a book about

325
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,040
the plane crash and he tracked
me down.

326
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,560
He lived in Michigan and we've
been in contact ever since.

327
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:45,680
So not not nearly the drama of
the poor guy that lost his leg,

328
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,560
but still very, very
interesting.

329
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:55,600
And and Annie was so supportive
of everything that I did and

330
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:59,760
helped keep me focused on what
was needed.

331
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:04,240
I never heard her say I hate
your job because you're never

332
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,840
here on when you're on call.
Yeah.

333
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:13,520
So you were in New Jersey for
two years and then was Green Bay

334
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,680
your next step after that?
And and then somewhere coming up

335
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,360
here, she starts showing some
type of symptoms, right, and

336
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,320
doesn't know what's going on.
How did the how did that play

337
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:36,480
out when we came back from New
Jersey and was it was 1974, the

338
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:48,560
summer of 1974.
So Anne was 34, I was 32 and we

339
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,720
looked around for a place to
practice and we we liked Green

340
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,520
Bay.
So I joined what was the

341
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,240
Westside clinic at that time
their their first orthopedic

342
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,320
surgeon.
It was a clinic with 15 doctors,

343
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:10,520
a multi specialty doctors and I
liked the setup they had so and

344
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,800
didn't have to work.
I was going to be working full

345
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:18,640
time.
The kids are at that time our

346
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:28,280
oldest one is 8 then 5 1/2 and
three so and was full time.

347
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:33,840
Mom charged with the house.
Excellent tennis player and we

348
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:40,080
lived in Park de Langley in
Alloway and she immediately

349
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:46,480
started to play tennis and that
opened up a huge number of

350
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:54,040
contacts and people.
And within weeks we're so busy

351
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,680
socially and and the community
welcomed us.

352
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:04,000
You know, back then there were I
think 4 clinics, but we all got

353
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,840
along and we communicated.
So we are welcomed by doctors

354
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:15,360
from other clinics too and
socially and that one, that one

355
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:22,400
very well.
So for the next, basically 2,

356
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:29,520
two, 2 1/2 years, we were fine.
So we moved to the house that

357
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:34,440
we've stayed in ever since in
the summer of 1976.

358
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:42,160
So it's the 200th anniversary of
the Declaration of Independence,

359
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:49,760
so a big celebration that summer
and late that fall, early

360
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:54,440
winter, and lost her sense of
smell abruptly, she said.

361
00:28:54,760 --> 00:29:02,880
I can't smell anything so I
thought this needs to be checked

362
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:07,240
out, as did she.
And so we saw a good ear, nose

363
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:12,240
and throat specialist and he
said I can't find anything, it

364
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,200
has to be neurologic.
He referred us to a good

365
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,880
neurologist.
He said I can't find anything

366
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,640
but it still has to be
neurologic.

367
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,840
And he got a scan of her brain
and there was that technology

368
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:32,680
was available, not nearly as as
good technically as it is now.

369
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,720
And that didn't show anything
wrong either.

370
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:45,520
So he said we'll just have to
watch it along over the next 13

371
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,560
years.
She had what I call, and which

372
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:54,760
is commonly called in
neurological centers, the non

373
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,680
motor symptoms of Parkinson's
disease.

374
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:02,200
Back then, nobody knew, to the
best of my knowledge, that

375
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,400
losing the sense of smell was a
very common for symptom of

376
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,480
Parkinson's.
Now we know that is true.

377
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:21,040
So over those 13 years, we're
seeing our kids grow up to the

378
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,280
point that our oldest daughter
is in college and then the next

379
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,560
one's in college and then the
third one's in college.

380
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:34,840
And so we have an empty nest.
As a man, we don't think much

381
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,240
about empty nest syndromes.
You know, we we're busy.

382
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:44,320
For a mother that loves her
kids, this was emotionally

383
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,720
tough.
And that.

384
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:53,480
So the the nest was empty by
1989.

385
00:30:54,680 --> 00:31:00,920
By by the summer of 1989, OK,
that summer we celebrated our

386
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:07,280
twenty, our 25th wedding
anniversary, and we'd had a

387
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,000
wonderful 25 years.
But you got to go back then,

388
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,360
when she lost her sense of
smell.

389
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:17,680
What happened then?
For those 13 years, from the

390
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:27,680
time she was 36 until she was
49, she had panic attacks,

391
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,960
nervous, she she loved to shop.
She'd go into a mall.

392
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,000
She was terrified.
She'd walk, holding onto the

393
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:42,200
walls.
And she said, I can barely shop.

394
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:48,240
And for her to say that was a
big deal and she was depressed.

395
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,800
So we saw a good psychiatrist.
They put her in antidepressant

396
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,240
medicines, but they didn't know
what caused it other than just

397
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,720
she's depressed.
So she had symptoms.

398
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,920
She had other symptoms when she
was driving the car, she'd say.

399
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,240
I'm having trouble focusing my
eyes.

400
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,400
It's like there's two roads and
I've got to turn out.

401
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,720
Where do I turn here?
Am I turning too soon?

402
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,840
Am I turning too late?
Weird.

403
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,360
And it's all good.
Eye specialist and I couldn't

404
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,360
find anything.
This is all neurologic.

405
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,760
These things were smoldering
away, but they weren't what was

406
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:36,600
classically known then.
Parkinson's disease dreamers.

407
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:46,480
The slowness of movement, A
stiffness or a balance.

408
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,840
So.
Those were the identifying

409
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,480
factors of at that time and
those were years and years away.

410
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,440
Yet that that's not something
you're even close to

411
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,800
experiencing at that time,
right?

412
00:32:56,880 --> 00:33:03,480
Well, they they were starting to
appear in the 1989 that when

413
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:08,080
Anne was 49.
And meanwhile while this was

414
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:15,480
going on, her mother was in her
early 80s and was going downhill

415
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:20,800
rapidly.
And she had a little tremor, a

416
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:25,480
little shakiness that she lived
in lacrosse where Anne was born.

417
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:32,760
And Anne would say numerous
times, I'm going to end up just

418
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:37,240
like my mother.
Well, we are like our our

419
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:42,840
mothers, but she got to end up
with, with the shakiness and the

420
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,680
things like that that her mother
had.

421
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,880
Her mother saw a neurologist and
he said you don't have

422
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,920
Parkinson's disease, you've got
a tremor.

423
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:57,160
Well, I quietly felt she had
Parkinson's disease all along

424
00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:02,160
and in the end she had to be in
a nursing home with total care

425
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:08,040
and actually had a feeding tube
because she couldn't swallow and

426
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:16,880
became essentially vegetative.
And so that that was a quiet

427
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:20,239
worry today.
And I talk about that.

428
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:26,920
No, I didn't want to light the
fire in her brain to thinking

429
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:38,280
about that, that kind of stuff.
So she and she was menopausal at

430
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,800
age 49 and she was having
terrible bleeding with her

431
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:47,000
menstrual periods and so she had
to have a hysterectomy.

432
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:53,120
So that summer actually was in
early May.

433
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,800
We went into the hospital to
have the hysterectomy and the

434
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:03,120
nurse gave her the permit sign
and sign that says it's OK to go

435
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:08,360
ahead with his operation.
And Anne took the pick up the

436
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:12,640
pen and she went and looked at
me and says I can't even write

437
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,720
my name.
What is wrong with me?

438
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,080
That was the first real tremor.
OK?

439
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:24,200
With Parkinson's and other
problems, stress is a huge

440
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,560
burden.
It brings all these symptoms out

441
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:38,280
and makes the disease worse.
So we went to Wimbledon for the

442
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:44,160
our 25th wedding anniversary
with another couple and could

443
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:48,720
not was had given up playing
tennis because she was having

444
00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:52,920
trouble with the quickness, the
coordination and was starting to

445
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:57,720
fall a little bit.
So our balance was not as good

446
00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:07,240
And we we saw doctors, she had
no major injuries so we hung in

447
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:09,800
there.
But we went to Wimbledon.

448
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,840
We had a great, great time
there.

449
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,960
Came back.
All the kids are off to college,

450
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:20,320
one in California and two in
Kansas.

451
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:30,680
So we wade through that fall and
Ann was teaching, was the coach

452
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:36,760
for Saint Joe's Academy girls
tennis team and the year before

453
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,480
when Sarah was still, or two
years before when Sarah was

454
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,960
still there, they won the state
championship.

455
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:49,560
So Anne was giving back and was
loved coaching.

456
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,520
But by that time she's got all
these symptoms.

457
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:01,120
Christmas party time, we're at
the medical staff Christmas

458
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:07,320
party downtown and Anne's
doctor, the top notch internal

459
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,960
medicine specialist was there
and he watched how Anne moved

460
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,360
and the next morning came into
my office at the clinic and said

461
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,600
Ralph, I saw Anne at the party
last night.

462
00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:23,080
He said I watched her, she's got
Parkinson's and I said I agree

463
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,080
with you.
He said you should not tell her.

464
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,960
He said I'll tell her.
So he said make an appointment.

465
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:38,720
So we made an appointment 4:30
on December 31st, New Year's

466
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:44,400
Eve, 1989.
I call it the decade of the

467
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:51,440
undiagnosis for 10 years, when
actually for 13 years and had

468
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,880
all these symptoms.
And we finally found out the

469
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,080
cause was her Parkinson's
disease.

470
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:03,840
And what is Parkinson's disease?
It's a degenerative disease in

471
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:09,040
the brain and without going into
huge detail, it's like a

472
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:14,000
smoldering fire in the brain.
If it's just smoldering a little

473
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,480
bit doesn't cause much.
If it's flaring up, it causes a

474
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:23,520
lot of trouble.
And as that smoldering fire,

475
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:30,680
which is a buildup of abnormal
proteins in the brain, and those

476
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:36,720
proteins are so critical in both
structure and function of the

477
00:38:36,720 --> 00:38:41,920
brain, and most of that is
probably caused by exposure to

478
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:55,200
toxins, poisons, weed killers,
exposure to unhealthy water, all

479
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,920
sorts of things may contribute.
Plus some of it may be genetic.

480
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:05,320
It may be that I'm sensitive to
those toxins and the person that

481
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:08,040
lives next door is not sensitive
to them.

482
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:13,760
So at any rate and most of the
neurological diseases probably

483
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:18,720
have similar things.
They're different and of course

484
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,080
we are all individually
different and we're different

485
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:26,800
today than we're going to be 10
years from now and 10 years ago.

486
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:34,320
So we're on this journey and in
in me, but we're all on journeys

487
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:41,480
and what are we going to to do
so and has this diagnosis.

488
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:47,920
So their doctor explains to her
that what he noticed and that it

489
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:53,520
was Parkinson's and that we
don't have any cures for it.

490
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:57,080
Hopefully there will be cures.
There's a lot of research being

491
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:01,880
done now.
This is December 31st, 4:30 in

492
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:06,240
the afternoon.
New Year's Eve, the very last

493
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:14,720
day of the decade, and Ann is 49
years old, so he explains

494
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:19,360
everything and said there's a
lot that can be done and we'll

495
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,120
get you to see a good
neurologist.

496
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,560
Their medications that help
control the the symptoms of the

497
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:29,880
disease doesn't cure the disease
but helps in living with it.

498
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:34,520
And you've got a wonderful
family and you've got wonderful

499
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:39,080
friends, and we will be here for
you.

500
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,920
Do you have any questions?
And she says no.

501
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,960
So we get up, we go out to the
car.

502
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:52,320
What's the weather like?
Usually late afternoon and on

503
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,560
New Year's Eve.
Well, if you're going to a

504
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,520
positive thing, it's going to be
nice.

505
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:01,240
But it's overcast, it's chilly.
The sun is already set and we

506
00:41:01,240 --> 00:41:04,840
get in the car and she melts
down.

507
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,960
She cries.
I cry.

508
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:14,160
I snuggle up as best I can in
the car and she says, and this

509
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:18,000
is a verbatim, she said, My life
is over.

510
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,760
I'll never get to see our kids
get married.

511
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:25,840
I'll never get to see
grandchildren.

512
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,760
I can't play tennis anymore.
My life is over.

513
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:38,600
I just so vividly remember that
and I snuggle up towards Buster.

514
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,840
I could as we're both crying.
And I said, Annie, I love you

515
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,560
dearly.
I always have and I always will.

516
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:50,680
You don't have to worry.
I will be with you forever.

517
00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,120
So the enemy is the damn
disease.

518
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,440
It's the Parkinson's disease.
It's not your fault.

519
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:02,960
It's not my fault.
We together are going to fight

520
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:08,920
this damn disease and we're
going to make a difference and

521
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,760
we're always going to be in our
own home.

522
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,160
Together we can make a
difference.

523
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,160
Furthermore, I said we got
wonderful kids.

524
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,480
Yeah, they're away at college
right now, but they'll always be

525
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,760
around for us.
We got wonderful friends.

526
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,800
You've got so many friends,
They're going to be here for

527
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,640
you.
And we're going to find the best

528
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:35,440
doctors and the best therapists
that can make a difference.

529
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:41,560
We're going to learn, and we
will make a difference.

530
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:49,000
Furthermore, Annie, God will be
with us and guide us.

531
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:57,480
And mark my words, I know you so
well and I know how tough you

532
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:01,440
are.
You will fight this damn disease

533
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:10,560
and we will make a difference.
And we will get to see our kids

534
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,440
get married and we will get to
know grandchildren well.

535
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,480
We drove home, spent a quiet
evening.

536
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,000
We're supposed to go to a big
wonderful New Year's Eve party,

537
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:29,120
called them and said we and the
the lady that was a husband and

538
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:34,120
wife, good friends and I said
we're just not up to it.

539
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:39,040
And she said, I understand, I
didn't spread the word.

540
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:47,640
But so next morning we woke up,
We slept together every night of

541
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:54,680
our marriage.
We woke up snuggled, shared our

542
00:43:54,920 --> 00:44:01,320
our love with each other and and
looked at me and she said I hate

543
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,960
this stem disease.
And I smiled.

544
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,560
I said that's what I wanted to
hear.

545
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,520
The battle lines are being
drawn.

546
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:15,920
I can handle me.
I'm going to do everything I can

547
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:21,720
to help Anne handle it too.
And I knew she would, and she

548
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,240
did.
For the next 31 years.

549
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:30,560
We fought the damn disease in
those 31 years.

550
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:39,000
We went to Europe 12 times.
We went to Florida for spring

551
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:43,040
breaks with our kids for many
years.

552
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:46,840
And then we happened upon a
wonderful condominium one year

553
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:51,280
when we were in Florida.
We'd never planned to buy

554
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,560
anything like that.
We took a look and we said

555
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:59,400
that's what we need to do.
Brand new on the Ocean.

556
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:04,680
We had it for 19 years.
We went down four to five times

557
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,080
every year.
I was still working full time.

558
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:11,360
I had good partners that
adjusted the schedule so we

559
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,760
could do it.
And we walked the beach.

560
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,320
We rode bikes.
We watched beautiful sunsets

561
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:23,120
from a rooftop lanai.
We watched the space shuttle go

562
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:30,800
up one night 150 miles away.
Look, we listened to the news,

563
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:33,280
weather, sports that night.
There they said the space

564
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,440
shuttle is going up.
It's a clear night.

565
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:39,960
If you get a chance, go out and
look 145 miles.

566
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,360
We're standing up there.
It's chilly and all of a sudden

567
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:51,960
you see this yellow flare slowly
going up and then it starts to

568
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:56,880
elongate as the booster rocket
starts to separate.

569
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:01,120
And then it's not going up so
fast because it's already

570
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:08,480
heading eastward on its pathway.
We gives me goosebumps right now

571
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:10,120
sitting here and talking about
it.

572
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:16,520
We cried and we hugged, said,
Wow, this is so special.

573
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:25,080
And we failed in those 31 years
and discovered all sorts of ways

574
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:30,560
to make a difference, to have
things to look forward to.

575
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:36,560
The disease.
Disease was not her fault and

576
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:43,560
she couldn't help it.
The two of us together could and

577
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,960
we did.
And that's what life is about.

578
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:53,400
And that's why, you know, we got
going with the the brain center

579
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:58,840
is so much more that can be done
when you deal with crappy

580
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:03,720
situations.
But life gives us all those kind

581
00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:05,760
of things.
Yeah, so.

582
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,680
And before we get into some of
those things that you did, which

583
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:12,240
I think are really important to
talk about today before we get

584
00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:16,040
into some of that kind of to
wrap up that story you had told

585
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,360
me.
One of the first things she said

586
00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,160
was my life is over.
I'm not going to get to see my

587
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,120
my kids get married or my
grandkids.

588
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:28,280
That all ended up happening in
that 31 years.

589
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,480
She ended up seeing how many
grandchildren and marriages. 8

590
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,320
grandchildren.
Now the the story.

591
00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:37,480
All three kids got married the
same summer.

592
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:45,280
Our marriage survived that, I
learned.

593
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,840
I mean, did your wallet survive
that?

594
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:56,440
Well, I'm still paying it back.
But but you know, you you go

595
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:00,000
through those experiences and
you say, OK, we have a chance to

596
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,440
make this good or we have a
chance to make it crappy.

597
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,840
You can make every situation
worse or you can make it better.

598
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:11,360
That doesn't mean you you can
have it go away, but that's what

599
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:16,720
we learned.
And so all three of the kids,

600
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:22,520
you know one one of the kids is
a physician and was just

601
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:27,120
starting medical school then or
or just actually was in medical

602
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:32,040
school and one was a in devil
school and the other one that

603
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:39,960
graduated was ACPA and working.
And so they all met people and

604
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:45,040
it happened the same summer, all
three weddings.

605
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:49,600
So we dealt with the the little
issues that came up.

606
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:57,080
Now if it was the bride's,
sometimes that little issue was

607
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,120
a bigger issue.
Wasn't a big issue to me, but it

608
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,040
was to them.
And again, you at that time, you

609
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,960
have to put yourself in their
shoes, OK, this is important.

610
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,960
If it's important to them,
that's make it work.

611
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:15,080
And so we did.
And the the funny story

612
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:21,160
regarding Anne is in the
weddings she She wanted to

613
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:26,600
design the wedding invitations
for our oldest daughter.

614
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,080
And our oldest daughter was
living in Kansas.

615
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:39,320
So it seemed appropriate.
I get a call from my wife at

616
00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:42,800
probably two months before the
wedding.

617
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:49,040
Susan hates her wedding
anniversary or her her wedding

618
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,600
invitations.
I said, oh, well, what's the

619
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,520
problem?
Well, she doesn't like the print

620
00:49:55,520 --> 00:50:03,880
on this and the print on that.
I said, well, what, what?

621
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:05,800
What the, what are the
alternatives?

622
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:08,520
She says what, we're not going
to have new ones printed.

623
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:10,240
She's going to have to adapt to
it.

624
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:17,240
And I said, she's that unhappy.
I said we're going to get new

625
00:50:17,240 --> 00:50:20,520
wedding invitations.
She says those cost lots of

626
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:23,320
money.
I said you got some note paper

627
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:28,600
that's expensive.
Now that's move onward and then

628
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,840
debate on which Who's going to
get married when, who's going to

629
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,000
be the first one and who's going
to be the second one.

630
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,160
And there were some some of
those little things.

631
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,800
And I I took charge at that
time.

632
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:45,680
I talked, told all three
couples, well, all three of our

633
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,640
kids.
I didn't involve the spices.

634
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:53,040
Spouses said we're going to
celebrate 3 weddings.

635
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:57,840
We're not going to be.
Hickey said there's reasons why

636
00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:59,640
so and so wants to get married
here.

637
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:03,320
There's reasons why so and so
here and so and so here, we're

638
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:09,120
going to do it, he said.
And I'm paying the bill, so I

639
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,000
get to call the shots.
And so we did.

640
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,640
And it and it was a joyous
celebration.

641
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:20,320
But meanwhile, this is like 3
months or when the first wedding

642
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:23,600
was scheduled.
Anne's got to get a new dress,

643
00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:25,520
you know, has to have a new
wedding dress.

644
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:29,320
Well, and then she's got to have
to have a new dress for the

645
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:36,440
rehearsal dinner.
Pretty soon the 2nd wedding is

646
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,680
coming up.
Well, she's got to have a new

647
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,720
dress for that and new dress for
this.

648
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,600
Pretty soon the 3rd wedding is
coming up.

649
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,080
I said.
So you're going to have three

650
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,000
new wedding dresses and three
new wedding rehearsal dinner

651
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:55,080
dresses.
And she said Yes, she said.

652
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,360
Oh, OK.
She took charge at that time.

653
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,520
Yeah.
I'm paying the bill, though.

654
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:05,000
And so I did.
So she got, so she got to see 3

655
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:09,480
weddings and eight grandchildren
in that 31 years, which I think

656
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,640
is phenomenal.
I think that's a that's a

657
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:14,040
testament to a lot of the stuff
we're going to start talking

658
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,880
about now.
Like I'd like to hear again in

659
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:23,040
those 31 years, what were those
things that you did to, you know

660
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:24,960
quote like you say fight the
damn disease.

661
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,200
What what were those things and
how did you do that?

662
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:31,000
And and I think you were
particularly set up well for

663
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,040
this.
Be coming from a place of

664
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:38,440
research already you had already
known how to dig really deep

665
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:42,440
into research and and figure
out, you know maybe new ways or

666
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:46,800
different ways or learn things
about anything.

667
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,240
And it just happened to be that
this is what was set in front of

668
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:53,280
you and on your plate.
So in that 31 years, what did

669
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:54,840
you work through?
How did you work through those

670
00:52:54,840 --> 00:53:02,200
things and what, what kind of?
Not conclusions, but where are

671
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:03,480
you at today?
Like what?

672
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:06,080
What what?
What did that all entail?

673
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:14,480
And taught me whether it was
indirect or directly by what she

674
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:21,440
was going through, that you
build on strengths and if what

675
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:25,360
you're thinking about doing
you've got to understand well

676
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:31,320
and has this disease.
I don't have the disease.

677
00:53:31,720 --> 00:53:36,160
The disease affects me.
But she's living with it.

678
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:44,720
Her brain is not normal.
She's not retarded or acutely

679
00:53:44,720 --> 00:53:48,920
I'll with it.
But it is, like I said earlier,

680
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:53,680
a smoldering fire in her brain.
And she would say, what's

681
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:56,840
happening with me, They don't
understand.

682
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:02,280
And I didn't understand either.
I rapidly learned that I had to

683
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:07,000
learn based on what her brain
was going through.

684
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:10,680
It's not what I thought was the
problem.

685
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:15,160
It's what she believed and lived
with and how she did it.

686
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:21,000
So it you know that on the one
hand, I thought that's a hard

687
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:24,160
concept to explain.
Not really.

688
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:31,040
Always look at the relationship.
Even sitting here talking to

689
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:35,000
you, you have to understand
what's going through my brain

690
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:39,320
and you are delving into it to
get those answers.

691
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:47,360
And all too often we we ignore
that or we take it for granted

692
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:55,000
that what's going on is totally
the way I notice it, what I how

693
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,800
I think about it, it doesn't
work that way.

694
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:05,160
You have to understand it
through Anne's eyes, through her

695
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:08,360
beliefs and what she's
experiencing.

696
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:21,600
So the classic example is 1
Morning and this is probably 15

697
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:27,800
years after she was diagnosed.
So and that that means almost 30

698
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:32,240
years from her first symptom.
I I walked in.

699
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,360
Good morning, Annie.
Hi honey.

700
00:55:37,320 --> 00:55:41,440
I said I love you.
And she said I love you too.

701
00:55:41,720 --> 00:55:48,320
She said is mother up?
And I said, your mother or my

702
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:53,200
mother.
And she said, my mother and I

703
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,640
said, and your mother's been
dead for 12 years.

704
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:07,680
She is not dead, I think, Wow, I
was naive enough.

705
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:13,480
I went upstairs and got her
death certificate and came down

706
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,480
and handed it to Anne.
She's in bed and she looks at it

707
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:22,600
and says oh and handed it back
to me all day long.

708
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,400
It ate me.
It just irritated me.

709
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:33,760
Not about her, about me.
I thought Ralph, she can't help

710
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:37,960
it.
She has a a false belief.

711
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:42,720
She her brain is saying her
mother's death.

712
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:49,760
So two days later I walk in.
She's his mother up and I said

713
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:57,360
no, she's sleeping peacefully.
Couple days later I even find

714
00:56:57,360 --> 00:57:00,280
doing that.
From that I said she's sleeping

715
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:05,880
peacefully in heaven.
Never again did she ask anything

716
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:10,360
like that.
OK, now that united us in a

717
00:57:10,360 --> 00:57:20,720
certain way and I learned.
And I as time went on, then I

718
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:24,640
learned to keep learning.
Learn, learn, learn.

719
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:36,880
You have ways to change.
A bad moment, a bad day, a

720
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:42,880
problem that's going to be there
and adapt to it in a way that it

721
00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:46,920
maximizes her ability to deal
with that.

722
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:54,680
Don't pour kerosene on the fire.
Instead, build on the strengths.

723
00:57:56,040 --> 00:58:00,160
Love is critical.
We hugged.

724
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,760
We always had a wonderful
relationship.

725
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:05,480
She was a wonderful wife, a
wonderful lover.

726
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,760
As we get.
As we aged, we changed.

727
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:17,240
But we found ways to adapt.
Fight the fight the enemy, the

728
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:22,200
enemies, the disease or the
symptoms of that disease.

729
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:29,080
And it worked.
And it was it was time while on

730
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:34,600
it became very satisfying.
So we rarely would have a bad

731
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:40,520
day because when we had bad
moments we found ways to deal

732
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:43,040
with it.
And people say, well, you are

733
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:47,000
amazing, Rolf.
I said Anne was amazing because

734
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:56,000
she portrayed to me the things
that she was dealing with and I

735
00:58:56,480 --> 00:59:05,240
learned how to deal with those
portrayals that she gave me and

736
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:09,440
build strengths.
And sometimes it's hugs,

737
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:16,280
sometimes it's laughter, It's
it's almost never tough love

738
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:20,200
because you don't want to hurt
her.

739
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:24,880
She's putting up with enough
crap with what's in her brain

740
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:32,000
and then you get to eventually,
which we'll do, I assume today

741
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,720
get to OK, what can you do to
really make a difference?

742
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:43,040
And that, and that's an ongoing
battle all the time for

743
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:48,640
everybody and for all of us that
are have the potential of having

744
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:54,040
diseases, conditions.
And so we bought with love.

745
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,720
We communicated.
We hugged a lot.

746
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:03,560
I have two regrets.
We hugged a lot, but we still

747
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:09,040
didn't hug enough because I miss
her physical presence.

748
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:13,960
But then you get into the
spirituality aspects of all

749
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:19,120
this, and that is high on the
list.

750
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:26,240
The people that have good
spiritual backgrounds and we're

751
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:30,320
all different in our spiritual
ideas, but the people that have

752
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:39,080
a spiritual aspect to how they
live can make a huge difference.

753
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:47,560
So that we learned not only to
love each other but to bring got

754
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:51,320
into our relationship and we
did.

755
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:57,440
And especially as the disease
took its tolls and made the

756
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:01,080
challenges greater, we found
ways to deal with.

757
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,600
And that brings as I said, I
have two regrets.

758
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:10,280
One was we didn't hug enough, #2
is that we didn't identify the

759
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:16,000
things that were going to be a
bigger problem in later stages

760
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:19,560
of her Parkinson's and later
stages of her life.

761
01:01:19,840 --> 01:01:21,440
And that's something you can
help with a lot in your

762
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:23,760
consultancy right now.
I'm assuming that's probably a

763
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:26,280
central piece of it.
Isn't there a before we get too

764
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,320
far away from it?
Isn't there a bit of irony in

765
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:33,040
the the awareness of how to
deliver news and and how to

766
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:35,960
empathize and put yourself in
the other person's shoes with

767
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:40,080
her initial diagnosis, that
doctor?

768
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:42,280
Had the firm understanding of
that, he said.

769
01:01:42,360 --> 01:01:44,520
Ralph, you don't tell her, I
have to tell her.

770
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:47,640
He knew that.
It's kind of a a weird, ironic

771
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:51,400
piece of the entire story.
I I love that piece of the story

772
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:58,560
because it taught me.
I knew that you have to be

773
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:07,200
careful in how you give news and
and interpersonal relationships.

774
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:15,240
And talking about that doctor,
he was sharp as could be.

775
01:02:16,680 --> 01:02:21,160
And in the book that we've
written on Anne and my story,

776
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:27,440
Susan, our oldest daughter,
tells the story.

777
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:31,840
In that book.
She remembers she would have

778
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:38,000
been, at the time, probably 14
years of age, that Anne had a

779
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:42,040
Spinal Tap.
Who did the Spinal Tap?

780
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:54,760
Her doctor.
That would have been about 1980.

781
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:59,400
I remember him doing that Spinal
Tap.

782
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:03,880
He explained to Ann.
And to me, there's something

783
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:07,520
neurological going on.
I want to do a Spinal Tap.

784
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:15,960
He did not find anything.
The spinal fluid was normal but

785
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:23,720
she got a post spinal headache
which can happen you get if they

786
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:29,560
you poke a little tiny needle in
into your back in into the fluid

787
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:33,840
filled sock around your spinal
cord and sometimes that little

788
01:03:34,720 --> 01:03:41,440
hole that the needle made leaks
And so you lose some of the

789
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:46,480
spinal fluid and that can cause
significant headache and it's

790
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:51,960
just a pain in the the neck.
And nowadays we have ways to

791
01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,760
sort of counteract the effects
of that if it occurs.

792
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:58,760
But it still is a always a
potential.

793
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:09,320
And it was Mother's Day weekend
and we had house guests and Ann

794
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:19,440
was laying on the, excuse me,
let's see, Ann was laying on the

795
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:22,760
floor because that helped
relief.

796
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:27,080
And we talked about this other
couple and their three kids and

797
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:32,440
our three kids.
Fido, would you like another

798
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,320
spoonful of this?
And we all laughed.

799
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:43,440
It really wasn't funny but it
was sort of cute but you

800
01:04:43,640 --> 01:04:47,800
encounter things But what was
impressive about is her doctor

801
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:52,520
wanted to do that test.
Nobody else along the way said I

802
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,480
want to do that because I'm
trying to figure out what's

803
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:58,240
going on and and I agreed with
them.

804
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:01,320
We need to know.
Well, it didn't show anything,

805
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:07,240
but nowadays they talk about
doing spinal taps.

806
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:10,760
In fact we're doing, they do
them sometimes looking for

807
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:15,360
certain chemicals that say, yes,
this is an abnormal protein in

808
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:19,920
there and and we're going to
have answers to that and and

809
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:24,040
hopefully a lot of those will be
be done just by checking your

810
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:27,840
blood and not spinal fluid.
So you don't have nearly the

811
01:05:27,840 --> 01:05:31,520
side effects of that.
So there's exciting things going

812
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:36,400
on.
But so that was just a little

813
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:41,680
sidelight of of the things that
some of the things that we dealt

814
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:44,480
with.
And I mean this is what, six

815
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:47,360
years before she was diagnosed
with Parkinson's.

816
01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:54,760
But that doctor was sharp and
the fact that he took charge of

817
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:59,120
the painful interactions that
had to be done.

818
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:05,520
And I'm glad that he did.
And he taught me taught me well.

819
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:11,080
Yeah, Yeah.
So then now let's jump into some

820
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,880
of those things.
Like I think one of the poignant

821
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:16,200
things that sticks out in my
mind when you kind of brought me

822
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:20,440
through this quickly is you're
going to tell it much better

823
01:06:20,440 --> 01:06:22,320
than I do.
But you talk about how a lot of

824
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:25,640
folks with Parkinson's will be
walking with a with a Walker,

825
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:29,040
and you did the opposite, quite
frankly, right?

826
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:31,400
Yes.
Took the Walker away.

827
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:36,320
Eventually, we learned the
initial reaction is to use the

828
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:45,360
Walker it it involves
identifying what the problems

829
01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:53,600
are and trying to prevent the
bad things that can occur in our

830
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:57,280
journey with Parkinson's
disease, there's no doubt we're

831
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:01,000
not going to have a cure.
We know that it's that

832
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:05,000
smouldering fire and it's going
to flare up from time to time

833
01:07:05,800 --> 01:07:12,600
and the long term future is none
of us live for 120 years, OK?

834
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,720
Some of us are going to run out
of gas sooner.

835
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:26,200
The Parkinson's in an obviously
it at least started when she was

836
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:30,680
36.
Most of the people with

837
01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:35,520
Parkinson's and they're all
everyone is different but most

838
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:42,920
of the people don't survive.
I wouldn't say don't survive

839
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:50,040
because there are exceptions,
but some people it's an

840
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:55,000
aggressive disease and and I
learned we were dealing with an

841
01:07:55,000 --> 01:08:01,160
aggressive disease and I think
we made a difference by what we

842
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:04,320
did.
And part of that is identifying

843
01:08:04,520 --> 01:08:09,560
what our potential problems and
attack them, attack them early.

844
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:17,960
Any treatment for any problems,
the ideal thing is to prevent it

845
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:19,760
so you'd never have to deal with
it.

846
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:25,080
If you can't prevent it, it's to
delay, it's coming on.

847
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,560
If you can't delay, it's coming
on.

848
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:34,160
You want to minimize it when it
starts and if you can, reverse

849
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:37,279
it.
If you can't reverse it, you

850
01:08:37,279 --> 01:08:47,600
want to attack it anyway to deal
with it, and you adapt to it and

851
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:52,319
you carry on.
It's not O Bingo.

852
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:56,359
We got an easy QR here.
We're not going to have that.

853
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:03,040
Life is a disease.
Eventually it's going to end.

854
01:09:03,720 --> 01:09:06,520
It's not a disease, but it's a
challenge.

855
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:11,880
All of these things are
challenges, and we can make a

856
01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:17,160
difference.
And so that's what I learned in

857
01:09:17,160 --> 01:09:20,160
dealing with our our journey
with Annie.

858
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:26,520
And so I found out the things,
oh, I know if we should do this.

859
01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:29,920
OK, then let's do it.
Let's motivate ourselves.

860
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:34,800
Let's educate ourselves to deal
with the crap that we have to

861
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:37,560
deal with and approach it in
that way.

862
01:09:38,720 --> 01:09:44,640
So we would.
You talked about walking one of

863
01:09:44,640 --> 01:09:47,560
the big problems with
Parkinson's, whose poor balance.

864
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:51,000
In one year she had three major
falls.

865
01:09:52,319 --> 01:09:57,240
She was 70 years old that year.
The 1st fall she got out of bed

866
01:09:57,240 --> 01:10:00,160
to go to the bathroom.
I said I'll I'll help you Andy.

867
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:04,800
And she said no, I'm fine.
And she was had pretty good

868
01:10:04,800 --> 01:10:06,720
balance.
Was her balance great?

869
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,200
No.
People with Parkinson's will

870
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:15,200
gradually have balance problems.
So she's walking through the

871
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:18,400
door from the bedroom into the
bathroom, and I'm watching her

872
01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:23,760
and she slips and falls on a
chair and her right side of her

873
01:10:23,760 --> 01:10:31,160
chest falls on the hard arm and
she falls to the floor and she's

874
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:33,960
really hurting.
She broke three ribs.

875
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:38,160
We went to the hospital.
I checked out because the right

876
01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:41,840
side, there's a liver underneath
the rib cage, There's a lung

877
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:44,440
underneath the rib cage.
You want to make sure she didn't

878
01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:48,120
puncture her lung.
And she had a scan and didn't

879
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:51,400
show any internal damage, but
showed 3 broken ribs.

880
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:56,360
Three months later, she says.
Let's go out and look at the

881
01:10:56,360 --> 01:11:00,800
flowers and beautiful June
morning where Anne and I are

882
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:03,800
walking along.
I loosely have my hands on her

883
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:07,880
left arm.
With that, she trips on a crack

884
01:11:07,880 --> 01:11:11,360
on the driveway.
The first thing that hit was her

885
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:17,080
head on the concrete crack.
She's laying 2/3 on her stomach,

886
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:22,480
totally unconscious, breathing,
good pulse.

887
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:26,120
The ABC's.
She's her Airways OK.

888
01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:30,280
She's breathing and her
circulation is good because she

889
01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:33,560
has a good pulse but she's got a
head injury.

890
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:39,200
I look for a neighbor to call 91
because my cell phone is in the

891
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:43,040
house and nobody around.
There's always somebody around,

892
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:46,560
but not then.
And I looked up and I said God,

893
01:11:46,640 --> 01:11:50,440
we need you now.
So I stayed with her for a

894
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:54,880
couple of minutes, no change.
So I run in, get my cell phone,

895
01:11:54,880 --> 01:12:01,120
call 911 and the ambulance or
the Rescue Squad is only six

896
01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:07,400
blocks away from our house.
Explain to the person on the

897
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:13,600
phone what happened and she said
that that we'll have a Rescue

898
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,640
Squad there shortly, don't move
her.

899
01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:18,240
And I said don't worry, I'm not
going to move her at all.

900
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:26,680
Within about 10 minutes I can
hear the siren and she's

901
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:30,040
starting to moan.
I said, Annie, can you hear me?

902
01:12:30,200 --> 01:12:33,640
Yeah.
Don't move, don't move.

903
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:36,440
Are you having any pain?
No.

904
01:12:39,080 --> 01:12:41,680
Are you?
I said don't move.

905
01:12:42,600 --> 01:12:46,200
I feel her neck.
She doesn't complain.

906
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:51,000
And I say gently move your
fingers.

907
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:52,840
She moves her fingers a little
bit.

908
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,320
That's good.
Move your feet a little bit and

909
01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:59,760
she moves her feet.
I said, we're going to take you

910
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,600
to the hospital.
Just wait, don't move the Rescue

911
01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,680
Squad sphere.
And they'll put a collar on your

912
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:13,280
neck and and carefully put a
backboard on you and and start

913
01:13:13,280 --> 01:13:16,160
moving you.
So she was in the hospital

914
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,960
overnight.
She had a bleed in her brain

915
01:13:19,040 --> 01:13:23,120
called the subdural hematoma.
She had a skull fracture.

916
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:26,440
Next morning, they repeated the
scan.

917
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:30,240
There was no further bleeding.
And I was there when the

918
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:34,560
neurosurgeon and the trauma
surgeon came in and they said

919
01:13:35,160 --> 01:13:40,720
you can take her home, she's OK.
She did well thereafter with

920
01:13:40,720 --> 01:13:45,280
that brain injury and long term
had no problems in her with her

921
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:53,400
brain because of that injury.
But three months later, this

922
01:13:53,400 --> 01:14:01,600
wonderful, somewhat feisty lady
I have arranged for people to be

923
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:04,880
with her if I wasn't there on a
Thursday.

924
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:10,400
On Tuesday I was at the hospital
and I told her when I left for

925
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:15,040
the hospital I'll be home at
noon if she was safe to go to

926
01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:18,120
the bathroom.
I said don't do anything else

927
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:21,360
and no laundry.
I'll be home.

928
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:30,640
So I get a call at the hospital
from our daughter and went to

929
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:35,120
the laundry room to do laundry
and fell and broke her hip.

930
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:40,160
And fortunately she had the push
button object so she could call

931
01:14:40,160 --> 01:14:47,760
for help.
And so that took six months to

932
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,520
get over all of that.
She had to have surgery for it.

933
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:54,600
So at that time when she had
that fall, I said you're not

934
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:57,920
going to fall again, her balance
is bad.

935
01:14:57,920 --> 01:15:02,120
And that was at what age?
That was when she was 70.

936
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:12,400
OK, so for the next, well, right
then we tried intensive physical

937
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:15,120
therapy and they said what?
Your balance is not good.

938
01:15:15,280 --> 01:15:19,000
You've got to use a Walker.
Well, she had a classic

939
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:23,840
Parkinson's walk.
When she used her Walker lean

940
01:15:23,840 --> 01:15:28,600
forward and shuffle, she was not
stable.

941
01:15:29,680 --> 01:15:33,080
But they said, and the good
therapist said, stand up tall

942
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:37,480
and she'd stand up tall and the
2nd she'd start to walk.

943
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:40,000
Leaning on the Walker, she'd
shuffle.

944
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:44,720
I said, Annie, you're not going
to do that.

945
01:15:46,200 --> 01:15:47,600
We're going to get rid of your
Walker.

946
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:49,800
You and I are going to walk
together.

947
01:15:50,320 --> 01:15:52,640
Now people would say, well, you
took away some of her

948
01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:57,120
independence.
A broken hip takes care of her

949
01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,760
independence.
A head injury takes care of her,

950
01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:02,800
interferes with her
independence.

951
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:09,440
Walking with Parkinson's and a
Walker doesn't make her

952
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:13,840
independent and safe.
I can make her safe.

953
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:19,960
Sally Ann, the caregiver
wonderful gal, can make her

954
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:22,360
safe.
Now Sally Ann would use a Walker

955
01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:27,320
and a gate belt and be right
there because this was for an

956
01:16:27,320 --> 01:16:31,320
hour, 2 hours when they had to
do something with me.

957
01:16:32,360 --> 01:16:36,880
I have no problem with being her
24 hour partner.

958
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:40,800
I love it.
And so we would walk and I

959
01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:48,080
taught her and she accepted it.
She learned and God guided us.

960
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:53,480
And the scientific articles that
I encountered verified that you

961
01:16:53,480 --> 01:16:57,240
can do these things.
Now, does it work for everybody?

962
01:16:57,360 --> 01:17:03,840
Who knows.
It worked for us for 10 years.

963
01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:07,360
We had no falls.
We kept her going.

964
01:17:09,120 --> 01:17:10,920
Yeah.
The disease was smoldering in

965
01:17:10,920 --> 01:17:14,240
her brain and caused other
issues.

966
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:19,800
Swallowing, not able to eat as
well as she could and some

967
01:17:19,800 --> 01:17:23,080
cognitive impairment.
Her judgement wasn't good.

968
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:26,600
OK, don't worry about her
judgement.

969
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:33,160
Make joy, make it good, make her
laugh, put music on, put new

970
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:38,840
Neil Diamond on and and make
those moments when we're trying

971
01:17:38,840 --> 01:17:41,560
to exercise and move even
better.

972
01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:45,960
And we did.
And friends would come and they

973
01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:50,520
take her out for lunch and when
she wasn't safe, I'd go along.

974
01:17:51,560 --> 01:17:53,600
I didn't interfere with the
conversation.

975
01:17:54,000 --> 01:17:57,360
I just sort of sit in the back
and it worked.

976
01:17:58,160 --> 01:18:01,800
And family.
You know, when, when she took

977
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:10,200
her last breath at age 80 and
1/2, she had seen and we had

978
01:18:10,200 --> 01:18:13,760
seen our three children get
married four times.

979
01:18:14,800 --> 01:18:20,120
We got to see 8 grandchildren.
The youngest was 11 and the

980
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:21,720
three oldest were in college.
Yeah.

981
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:25,960
That that part's amazing.
Yeah.

982
01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:30,600
And we achieved all sorts of
wonderful things.

983
01:18:31,120 --> 01:18:35,640
And say, well, would I have
liked that she was still around?

984
01:18:35,760 --> 01:18:41,000
Yeah, she I would.
Spiritually she is.

985
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:45,600
She hasn't left me.
And a friend said to me one

986
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:48,920
time, you'll get over that.
I don't have anything I have to

987
01:18:48,920 --> 01:18:54,560
get over because Annie's
presence is real.

988
01:18:55,680 --> 01:19:03,480
Her grandchildren know who Annie
was, and we'll continue to

989
01:19:03,480 --> 01:19:05,840
remember that she's part of
them.

990
01:19:06,400 --> 01:19:09,800
Furthermore, those grandkids,
every one of those grandkids is

991
01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:14,560
1/4 Annie's jeans and 1/4 my
jeans.

992
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:19,960
And I.
When I with those kids, we get

993
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:23,120
talking about things like this,
they will start rolling their

994
01:19:23,120 --> 01:19:25,160
eyes.
And I said, you can roll your

995
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:29,080
eyes all you want, but you won't
get rid of Annie and you won't

996
01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:31,920
get rid of me.
We are around.

997
01:19:33,200 --> 01:19:39,120
You're genetically with us.
And you remember things we did.

998
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:42,840
The good things, the funny
things, and perhaps some of the

999
01:19:42,840 --> 01:19:46,600
things that weren't so good, but
we made sure that they were

1000
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:48,640
good.
Yeah, so.

1001
01:19:49,920 --> 01:19:52,560
Yeah.
So what were some of the?

1002
01:19:52,560 --> 01:19:55,120
What were some of the other
maybe?

1003
01:19:56,400 --> 01:20:00,240
Things that you discovered in
that that you know, time period

1004
01:20:00,320 --> 01:20:03,280
of making this conscious
decision to to fight the

1005
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:05,800
disease.
Like I know you've mentioned

1006
01:20:05,800 --> 01:20:07,520
that a lot of it starts in the
gut.

1007
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:11,960
What were some of those things
that that we can talk about that

1008
01:20:11,960 --> 01:20:16,360
maybe are, you know, fledgling
or, you know, on the brink of

1009
01:20:16,360 --> 01:20:19,560
being discovered or maybe things
that aren't even that and maybe

1010
01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:22,720
it's just, you know, anecdotal
or subjective?

1011
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:30,080
Science advances, and it's
pretty impressive when we think

1012
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:33,600
we discover something.
If you look very far, you'll

1013
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:37,840
find out it's been talked about.
It's been discovered already,

1014
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:42,600
but we haven't learned it yet.
And that happens with all of us,

1015
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:49,800
including good doctors and
family members, but especially

1016
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:58,520
the the deep science I mentioned
in learning how to walk safely

1017
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:03,520
without the Walker.
OK, I had to train her brain how

1018
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:07,240
to do that.
I found a scientific article

1019
01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:13,200
that said just that, that it
it's not only telling them what

1020
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:22,360
to do, but motivating them to do
it correctly and to become, if

1021
01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:27,680
they can't make it automatic, to
make it under their awareness

1022
01:21:27,680 --> 01:21:31,840
control.
If you know what you have to do,

1023
01:21:32,080 --> 01:21:39,200
if you have a bad habit and a
good analogy, if you smoke you

1024
01:21:39,200 --> 01:21:43,200
know it's not good for you.
OK, don't have the first

1025
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:50,440
cigarette.
Now, if you think about it, we

1026
01:21:50,440 --> 01:21:52,240
do all sorts of things.
Automatic.

1027
01:21:54,040 --> 01:21:58,520
You're out with the group and
you had a couple of beers.

1028
01:21:59,200 --> 01:22:01,920
They say have another beer.
Oh yeah, we're talking.

1029
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:03,760
We're having fun.
I'll have another beer.

1030
01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:10,080
Take control of those, those
kind of things, and don't allow

1031
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:18,200
them to be automatic.
And for me, it's the potato

1032
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:21,520
chip.
Give me one potato chip and I'll

1033
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:30,400
eat the entire bag.
That first potato chip is makes

1034
01:22:30,400 --> 01:22:34,760
makes me have another one.
It just automatically go on with

1035
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:39,000
it.
It's an addiction, OK?

1036
01:22:39,120 --> 01:22:43,000
Get rid of the addictions.
Take control of when there's a

1037
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:47,760
problem.
When things are good, allow that

1038
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:51,040
to continue and allow that to be
a habit.

1039
01:22:51,280 --> 01:22:56,400
So make good habits and not bad
habits, general physical

1040
01:22:56,400 --> 01:22:58,800
exercise.
Keep moving, moving, moving.

1041
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:02,280
And that's what Anne and I did
when she couldn't walk.

1042
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:09,280
Well, yeah, we walked a little
bit together, but we got two

1043
01:23:09,280 --> 01:23:13,200
chairs sitting just like the two
of us are sitting across from

1044
01:23:13,200 --> 01:23:16,920
each other.
Set up straight and move your

1045
01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:22,240
arms up.
OK, lean forward.

1046
01:23:25,640 --> 01:23:28,120
First day, I had her try to do
that.

1047
01:23:28,640 --> 01:23:32,320
I said lean forward, Annie.
And she went like this.

1048
01:23:33,680 --> 01:23:40,720
I said no further.
I said your your body hasn't.

1049
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,640
Your brain has forgotten how to
lean forward.

1050
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:47,520
Now, I didn't say that to her,
but I said it to me.

1051
01:23:48,680 --> 01:23:51,560
I said let me have your hands.
And so she put her hands out in

1052
01:23:51,560 --> 01:23:55,280
front and I said, OK, we're
going to lean forward.

1053
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:59,400
And I lean forward.
And I pulled her.

1054
01:24:02,040 --> 01:24:07,000
Pretty soon I took my hands away
and she's leaning forward.

1055
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:12,080
We awakened her ability to lean
forward.

1056
01:24:13,280 --> 01:24:17,960
Her brain had forgotten how to
do that simple little concept,

1057
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:21,800
but very, very real.
I took care of a man years ago

1058
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:25,920
with a bad hip fracture and he
was cantankerous as could be.

1059
01:24:26,280 --> 01:24:28,600
He said, Doc, he says I don't
need a nursing home.

1060
01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:30,680
I'm going, you're going to get
me fixed and I'm going to be

1061
01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:32,720
home.
And his wife is in the corner

1062
01:24:32,880 --> 01:24:36,680
shaking her head because she
knew how what a, what a burden

1063
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:42,600
he was going to be.
So we fixed his hip and he

1064
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:49,360
realized reluctantly that he had
to go to a nursing home but he

1065
01:24:49,360 --> 01:24:53,360
was getting better.
So eventually went home, had a

1066
01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,360
physical therapist coming to the
home.

1067
01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:58,080
His wife was there and he was
getting by.

1068
01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:03,520
He comes in the house and in the
office for follow up and he said

1069
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:09,760
doc, there's something wrong
with my hip and I had an X-ray,

1070
01:25:10,280 --> 01:25:13,520
X-rays look great.
His hip was right the way it

1071
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:18,160
should be.
And so he's sitting in the chair

1072
01:25:18,160 --> 01:25:22,760
and I said it was his right hip.
I said lift your left leg.

1073
01:25:22,760 --> 01:25:25,520
And he says yeah, he says that's
not the broken one.

1074
01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:28,320
I said I know that.
I said lift it up and he lifts

1075
01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:30,280
it up.
I said lift your right leg up

1076
01:25:30,280 --> 01:25:38,360
and he says it won't lift.
He said, OK, let's do the left

1077
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:40,400
leg, leg again, lift the left
leg.

1078
01:25:40,520 --> 01:25:43,120
He says it's not the broken one.
And I said that's OK.

1079
01:25:43,520 --> 01:25:48,240
So he lifted it.
So I said, now lift your right.

1080
01:25:48,240 --> 01:25:53,000
Like I put my hands underneath
his knee and he says yeah, it

1081
01:25:53,000 --> 01:25:56,160
doesn't work.
I said OK, so I lift his left

1082
01:25:56,160 --> 01:26:01,440
leg and he lifts it with me, put
my hands underneath and I lift

1083
01:26:01,440 --> 01:26:03,600
the right leg.
And he says, yeah, that won't

1084
01:26:03,600 --> 01:26:06,920
lift.
So I lift the right, the left,

1085
01:26:07,080 --> 01:26:10,040
the right, the left.
All of a sudden I can feel his

1086
01:26:10,040 --> 01:26:15,400
muscles start to take control.
And all of a sudden he's lifting

1087
01:26:15,400 --> 01:26:17,520
the right one, just like he's
lifting the left one.

1088
01:26:17,960 --> 01:26:22,720
All of a sudden he opens his
eyes or opens his brain and

1089
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:26,120
said, Oh my God, you're a
miracle worker.

1090
01:26:28,320 --> 01:26:34,120
He said, what was wrong with it?
I said your brain forgot to how

1091
01:26:34,120 --> 01:26:36,920
to do it.
You just retrained your brain.

1092
01:26:39,720 --> 01:26:42,880
Wow, he said he did great
thereafter.

1093
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:46,800
OK, a lot of the stuff is not
rocket science.

1094
01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:51,200
Teaching Annie how to walk
safely and when I said lean

1095
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:53,920
forward pretty soon she can do
it.

1096
01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:57,400
OK.
And does that make her feel

1097
01:26:57,400 --> 01:26:59,120
good?
You're darn right it is.

1098
01:26:59,520 --> 01:27:03,840
Praise, never criticize,
suggest, guide.

1099
01:27:04,360 --> 01:27:10,840
But, and work together and all
sorts of little tricks of the

1100
01:27:10,840 --> 01:27:15,600
trade and continue to hug.
We had a bad day.

1101
01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:20,280
One time, no matter what I tried
to do.

1102
01:27:20,280 --> 01:27:25,600
Music, laughter, exercise.
It wasn't working.

1103
01:27:26,800 --> 01:27:29,280
We went to bed, snuggled up to
each other.

1104
01:27:29,840 --> 01:27:32,720
I love you, Annie.
I love you too, honey, I said.

1105
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:36,160
Been a crappy day, hasn't it?
And she said it sure has.

1106
01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:42,000
I said, mark my words, we're
going to make tomorrow better

1107
01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:44,240
and we're going to make all our
days better.

1108
01:27:45,880 --> 01:27:49,240
And I'd never prayed out loud
when we went to bed.

1109
01:27:50,640 --> 01:27:52,880
We're religious, we go to
church.

1110
01:27:53,920 --> 01:28:03,640
And I said, we're going to make
a difference.

1111
01:28:04,840 --> 01:28:13,560
I snuggled up to her again, and
I said our Father who art.

1112
01:28:13,560 --> 01:28:16,360
And with that she joined me with
the Lord's Prayer.

1113
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:20,680
We said it out loud together.
I had not told her we're going

1114
01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:23,720
to do the Lord's Prayer.
I just started and she joined me

1115
01:28:25,400 --> 01:28:28,800
at the end of that.
At the end of the Lord's Prayer,

1116
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:32,640
I said, God, you have so
eminently blessed Annie and me.

1117
01:28:33,920 --> 01:28:36,000
You've given us life on this
wonderful earth.

1118
01:28:36,800 --> 01:28:41,800
You've given us wonderful
parents, family and friends.

1119
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:45,760
Most of all, you've given us
each other.

1120
01:28:46,520 --> 01:28:51,840
You brought us together at that
research lab at UW Madison, so

1121
01:28:51,840 --> 01:28:57,880
that we met, we fell in love,
and 51 weeks later we married.

1122
01:29:00,320 --> 01:29:04,120
You have been with us on our
journeys today.

1123
01:29:04,120 --> 01:29:09,120
We had a bad day.
Annie and I vow that we're going

1124
01:29:09,120 --> 01:29:15,480
to make all our days better, and
with your continued love, we

1125
01:29:15,480 --> 01:29:18,080
will.
We never had a bad day

1126
01:29:18,080 --> 01:29:21,480
thereafter.
Did we go downhill because of

1127
01:29:21,480 --> 01:29:24,120
the smoldering fire in her
brain?

1128
01:29:24,560 --> 01:29:27,840
Yeah.
We did everything we could to

1129
01:29:27,840 --> 01:29:31,920
counteract that, to delay it, to
adapt to it.

1130
01:29:32,480 --> 01:29:38,880
And we did that.
And in the end, God saw to it

1131
01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:42,520
that Annie slept away
peacefully, without pain,

1132
01:29:42,840 --> 01:29:49,920
without suffering at home.
For a while I thought, yeah, it

1133
01:29:49,920 --> 01:29:55,880
was tough to lose her, but I
rapidly realized I didn't lose

1134
01:29:55,880 --> 01:30:01,440
her.
Her spiritual soul lives on, and

1135
01:30:01,920 --> 01:30:04,240
what we've learned from her
lives on.

1136
01:30:04,680 --> 01:30:14,080
Her legacy lives on, and that
legacy is what she gave us and

1137
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:17,960
continues to give us the
opportunity to build.

1138
01:30:19,400 --> 01:30:26,760
And so it's a joy to be able to
share what we learned.

1139
01:30:27,520 --> 01:30:32,880
We're all different.
We understand that we all have

1140
01:30:33,360 --> 01:30:41,960
challenges, but challenges are
opportunities and opportunities

1141
01:30:41,960 --> 01:30:49,240
can be built with love, with
understanding, with knowing

1142
01:30:49,240 --> 01:30:54,360
ourselves and knowing those that
are important to us and knowing

1143
01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:58,880
people that we don't even know
and making the world better.

1144
01:31:00,200 --> 01:31:05,160
So let's make our own individual
worlds good, but let's try to,

1145
01:31:05,640 --> 01:31:11,080
to help those elsewhere
understand as well.

1146
01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:16,680
And maybe we can even make a
difference with war and hatred,

1147
01:31:18,480 --> 01:31:24,440
which is the the worst thing
that can be war and hatred.

1148
01:31:24,960 --> 01:31:28,280
So that's that's build love and
understanding.

1149
01:31:28,800 --> 01:31:30,280
Yeah.
Absolutely.

1150
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:34,000
And that's the, that's a lot of
the goal with the with the book

1151
01:31:34,000 --> 01:31:36,720
in in the brain center, right.
I mean that's what you're trying

1152
01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:40,680
to do is, I mean you going
through what you had to

1153
01:31:40,680 --> 01:31:43,440
experience and having the unique
background you did before.

1154
01:31:43,440 --> 01:31:48,120
That puts you in a pretty unique
place that I think, you know,

1155
01:31:48,120 --> 01:31:50,040
I'm, I'm conjecturing here, but
I'm.

1156
01:31:50,040 --> 01:31:52,360
I'm assuming that that's what
you're trying to do.

1157
01:31:52,360 --> 01:31:53,360
Right.
Is share that.

1158
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,120
Sure.
You know, people would say,

1159
01:31:56,560 --> 01:31:58,000
well, you're lucky you're a
doctor.

1160
01:31:58,000 --> 01:32:01,520
You've got all this information.
I'm a human being.

1161
01:32:02,240 --> 01:32:06,560
I have an opportunity.
What made Annie and my journey

1162
01:32:06,680 --> 01:32:10,320
so special?
Yeah, I I'm glad I went to

1163
01:32:10,320 --> 01:32:14,200
medical school.
I'm glad I had an education.

1164
01:32:15,160 --> 01:32:19,120
But we learned under fire.
We learned when the challenges

1165
01:32:19,120 --> 01:32:22,240
were there.
And I look back and I I think

1166
01:32:22,240 --> 01:32:26,880
about my parents, they they
dealt with stuff and they

1167
01:32:26,880 --> 01:32:29,600
learned and they lived.
So this is not unique.

1168
01:32:29,800 --> 01:32:34,560
With Annie and me.
There are so many people that

1169
01:32:34,720 --> 01:32:43,120
give and donate to making others
better, and it's not unique.

1170
01:32:43,920 --> 01:32:46,480
It's open our eyes and say we
can all do more.

1171
01:32:47,600 --> 01:32:53,600
So I I think it's just a joyful
opportunity.

1172
01:32:54,160 --> 01:32:59,520
And the thing I shudder about
is, well, Ralph Lula, you did

1173
01:32:59,520 --> 01:33:02,840
this.
OK, A lot of people do this.

1174
01:33:03,920 --> 01:33:08,880
It's just we have an opportunity
to spread the word that more can

1175
01:33:08,880 --> 01:33:11,520
be done.
And especially in our situation

1176
01:33:11,720 --> 01:33:16,920
with Parkinson's.
But our situation was a

1177
01:33:16,920 --> 01:33:18,520
marriage.
That's this.

1178
01:33:18,520 --> 01:33:24,680
Make this marriage be as good as
it can be and help our kids, but

1179
01:33:24,680 --> 01:33:28,440
help the friends we know and
help those people that we cross

1180
01:33:28,440 --> 01:33:30,880
pathways with.
Yeah, so.

1181
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:33,280
Yeah.
And I mean, you talk about the

1182
01:33:33,280 --> 01:33:38,000
benefits of that spirituality
and I think a lot of that comes

1183
01:33:38,000 --> 01:33:40,720
back to even mindset, right?
Yeah, way.

1184
01:33:40,720 --> 01:33:43,440
At the beginning you were
talking about how stress is an

1185
01:33:43,440 --> 01:33:48,840
extreme, you know, trigger or
detractor in the scenario and.

1186
01:33:50,040 --> 01:33:53,520
What resonates in hearing you
talk and discussing this whole

1187
01:33:53,520 --> 01:33:59,760
scenario is, is making sure that
that that the, the positivity

1188
01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:03,360
and the, you know, the emotions
and and everything around the

1189
01:34:03,360 --> 01:34:10,320
scenario stays in that way, as
opposed to snowballing affected

1190
01:34:10,320 --> 01:34:16,640
the opposite way, which probably
adds fuel to the rumbling fire

1191
01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:25,520
you're talking about, right?
One thing, which is it's so easy

1192
01:34:25,520 --> 01:34:29,440
to forget the whole spectrum of
things.

1193
01:34:31,400 --> 01:34:38,000
You know, we talked about our
six pillars of to help our brain

1194
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:44,400
health.
Physical exercise.

1195
01:34:45,560 --> 01:34:47,800
OK, It's good for our heart,
it's good for our lungs, it's

1196
01:34:47,800 --> 01:34:50,840
good for our muscles.
But it has to be individualized

1197
01:34:50,840 --> 01:34:54,000
for our individual needs,
because we're all different.

1198
01:34:54,440 --> 01:34:56,440
OK.
But more than anything else,

1199
01:34:56,440 --> 01:35:00,240
physical exercise also
stimulates our brain, and our

1200
01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:02,840
brain is so critical in
everything we do.

1201
01:35:03,320 --> 01:35:05,560
OK, what else stimulates our
brain?

1202
01:35:07,200 --> 01:35:12,600
Social relationships, A
marriage, friends.

1203
01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:19,680
All sorts of wonderful things
that we have the opportunity to

1204
01:35:19,680 --> 01:35:23,280
do.
So we want to we want to

1205
01:35:23,280 --> 01:35:27,480
socialize.
We we want to build those

1206
01:35:27,480 --> 01:35:32,080
relationships.
OK, So that stimulates our brain

1207
01:35:32,080 --> 01:35:34,720
keep.
Talking.

1208
01:35:35,960 --> 01:35:41,560
So in addition to stimulating
our brain with with social

1209
01:35:41,560 --> 01:35:50,160
activities, things that
challenge our brain, music,

1210
01:35:50,240 --> 01:35:54,920
playing the piano, all sorts of
activities like that.

1211
01:35:57,520 --> 01:36:03,880
Reading, learning.
I learned day in and day out

1212
01:36:04,640 --> 01:36:09,920
things and I still read and and
I want to, but meeting with

1213
01:36:09,920 --> 01:36:15,520
people and listening to them and
then sharing our individual

1214
01:36:15,520 --> 01:36:20,560
stories and what we learn.
Sleep is very important.

1215
01:36:20,800 --> 01:36:25,200
Well, if you eat correct, if you
eat well and we'll talk about

1216
01:36:25,200 --> 01:36:32,480
that quickly and you exercise,
that contributes to sleeping

1217
01:36:32,480 --> 01:36:35,000
better.
But we're all individually

1218
01:36:35,000 --> 01:36:37,560
different.
Some people have sleep apnea and

1219
01:36:37,760 --> 01:36:40,680
things like that.
So you've got to deal with the

1220
01:36:40,680 --> 01:36:44,680
individual problems you have
with sleep nutrition.

1221
01:36:45,920 --> 01:36:49,400
Our body requires lots of good
fuel.

1222
01:36:49,960 --> 01:36:53,600
Unfortunately, we take bad fuel,
and a lot too.

1223
01:36:54,360 --> 01:37:04,120
We've epidemics of liver
disease, of obesity, of heart

1224
01:37:04,120 --> 01:37:08,360
problems, of diabetes.
All these things interconnect

1225
01:37:08,360 --> 01:37:10,800
with each other and their
challenges.

1226
01:37:11,080 --> 01:37:13,920
So you want to attack all of
those things.

1227
01:37:14,720 --> 01:37:21,320
Keep moving, keep moving, keep
moving, Sleep well, eat well.

1228
01:37:21,760 --> 01:37:26,280
For me, avoid that potato chip
so that I don't eat the entire

1229
01:37:26,280 --> 01:37:33,160
bag.
Also, healthy vegetables and

1230
01:37:34,520 --> 01:37:37,560
healthy proteins and healthy
fats.

1231
01:37:37,920 --> 01:37:42,880
We won't get into that in
detail, but pay attention to

1232
01:37:42,880 --> 01:37:46,520
this and know yourselves because
we are all individually

1233
01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:49,200
different.
So we have our individual needs.

1234
01:37:50,080 --> 01:37:53,120
Our intestinal tracts are
critically important in our

1235
01:37:53,120 --> 01:37:56,000
health.
We tended to ignore our

1236
01:37:59,360 --> 01:38:02,880
intestinal tracts for years.
Our intestinal tracts are filled

1237
01:38:02,880 --> 01:38:04,880
with bacteria.
They've always have been and

1238
01:38:04,880 --> 01:38:08,360
they always will be.
But the bad kind of bacteria in

1239
01:38:08,360 --> 01:38:14,440
there are hard to into our our
damaging to our nervous system

1240
01:38:14,760 --> 01:38:19,240
and to our brain.
So we have to be careful and how

1241
01:38:19,240 --> 01:38:22,840
we handle that.
And this is really sort of a new

1242
01:38:22,840 --> 01:38:26,960
awareness of a lot of science
and there's no way we can get

1243
01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:30,320
into that today.
And I'm not the the true expert

1244
01:38:30,360 --> 01:38:34,520
on that stuff.
We have to avoid toxins and

1245
01:38:34,520 --> 01:38:41,560
poisons, the weed killers, and
that things that kill weeds are

1246
01:38:41,560 --> 01:38:50,000
not good for our brains.
In the blue-green algae on the

1247
01:38:50,000 --> 01:38:55,440
Fox River grows A neurotoxin
that's damaging to our brain.

1248
01:38:57,080 --> 01:38:59,240
Don't let your puppy go out and
swim in it.

1249
01:38:59,760 --> 01:39:01,880
They drink a little of that.
They may die.

1250
01:39:03,440 --> 01:39:10,480
Don't smell that stuff.
If I'm walking on the Fox River

1251
01:39:10,480 --> 01:39:15,120
Trail in August, you look out
and that scum is out there on

1252
01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:19,600
the lakes and the rivers.
That's a toxin.

1253
01:39:20,000 --> 01:39:25,120
The red tide in Florida is a
toxin that kills the algae that

1254
01:39:25,120 --> 01:39:33,240
grows, grows it, and kills the
fish that eat it, and kills the

1255
01:39:33,240 --> 01:39:38,560
dolphins that eat the fish.
OK, that's bad stuff.

1256
01:39:39,360 --> 01:39:42,880
Kills their brains.
Who knows what it's doing for

1257
01:39:42,880 --> 01:39:45,760
us.
So all those kind of things.

1258
01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:54,280
So be careful in what you do.
I'm trying to think I go to the

1259
01:39:54,280 --> 01:39:58,320
six pillars and I say, OK,
Ralph, you've gone through five

1260
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:00,520
of them.
I think I covered basically 6 of

1261
01:40:00,520 --> 01:40:01,800
it.
Oh, stress.

1262
01:40:02,040 --> 01:40:05,000
Stress is the other one.
Stress is really damaging.

1263
01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:08,520
But so I'll try to minimize the
stress.

1264
01:40:09,520 --> 01:40:11,680
And Anna and I minimize the
stress.

1265
01:40:11,800 --> 01:40:16,080
We hugged, we laughed.
We found ways to get around.

1266
01:40:16,240 --> 01:40:21,240
We put music on and we stomped
around to Neil Diamond.

1267
01:40:22,400 --> 01:40:27,600
Especially if it was a stressful
time and we hugged.

1268
01:40:28,400 --> 01:40:30,880
You know, nothing wrong with
crying.

1269
01:40:32,760 --> 01:40:35,880
Make crying positive.
Me.

1270
01:40:36,000 --> 01:40:39,040
Be grateful.
And that's a big factor.

1271
01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:43,840
Be grateful the glass is half
full.

1272
01:40:43,840 --> 01:40:46,400
It's not empty.
OK?

1273
01:40:46,800 --> 01:40:51,320
Be thankful that it's half full.
That's been one of the amazing

1274
01:40:51,320 --> 01:40:55,480
things since talking to you the
first time that that I think is

1275
01:40:55,760 --> 01:41:00,000
really really sticks out about
everything you say and do is is

1276
01:41:00,000 --> 01:41:05,000
the the fine you were able to
really find a gift in something

1277
01:41:05,000 --> 01:41:08,840
that.
Most would see as no gift at all

1278
01:41:08,840 --> 01:41:13,320
the quite the opposite actually
and and I'm I'm quite sure and I

1279
01:41:13,400 --> 01:41:17,120
it seems like you are too that
that played a part in in that 31

1280
01:41:17,120 --> 01:41:24,600
year endeavor correction in that
56 1/2 year endeavor, right.

1281
01:41:24,920 --> 01:41:32,080
But I I realized that from the
diagnosis for 31 years, yes, but

1282
01:41:32,600 --> 01:41:36,160
we built a we were building a
foundation, even though we

1283
01:41:36,160 --> 01:41:40,560
didn't know it.
We and and the foundation,

1284
01:41:40,600 --> 01:41:47,240
because of Parkinson's disease,
started when she lost her sense

1285
01:41:47,240 --> 01:41:50,960
of smell.
We were, we were having a brain

1286
01:41:50,960 --> 01:41:58,440
scan at with the neurologist
that saw Ann and said, I can't

1287
01:41:58,440 --> 01:42:01,760
find anything, it has to be
neurologic, but we'll get a scan

1288
01:42:01,760 --> 01:42:05,600
on your brain.
So we're in the X-ray department

1289
01:42:05,600 --> 01:42:12,840
at Saint Vincent Hospital and a
friend, and actually the friend,

1290
01:42:12,840 --> 01:42:17,880
I won't name him, he and his
wife were having the New Year's

1291
01:42:17,880 --> 01:42:20,480
Eve party that Ann and I were
scheduled to go to.

1292
01:42:21,360 --> 01:42:26,120
And he was a character.
And so he said, what are you

1293
01:42:26,120 --> 01:42:26,840
doing here?
Ralph?

1294
01:42:26,840 --> 01:42:29,440
And I saw Anne's having a, a
brain scan.

1295
01:42:29,440 --> 01:42:35,120
Oh, really?
He said she's an amazing lady.

1296
01:42:35,120 --> 01:42:39,680
He said he looked over and he
said, oh, there's Anne over

1297
01:42:39,680 --> 01:42:42,800
there.
Hey, Anne, don't worry, just a

1298
01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:44,520
second.
Urban.

1299
01:42:46,080 --> 01:42:48,080
He said she's not ready for you
yet.

1300
01:42:48,640 --> 01:42:51,680
Urban was a mutual friend who
was a funeral director.

1301
01:42:51,680 --> 01:42:52,480
Oh.
No.

1302
01:42:53,880 --> 01:42:58,120
And he said, Bourbon, she's not
ready for you yet and I thought

1303
01:43:00,000 --> 01:43:04,960
that I hope she didn't didn't
hear that or think about it.

1304
01:43:06,120 --> 01:43:10,840
But you know, you you have
things and if you do it right,

1305
01:43:11,240 --> 01:43:15,880
but we've all said something,
something that we regret and

1306
01:43:15,880 --> 01:43:20,200
that's that's part of life.
So you you have to sort of

1307
01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:23,160
control yourself.
You got a bad habit.

1308
01:43:24,160 --> 01:43:27,680
You don't keep feeding that bad
habit.

1309
01:43:29,200 --> 01:43:35,480
Make things positive.
Find joy and find the tools with

1310
01:43:35,480 --> 01:43:38,520
which to to handle all those
things.

1311
01:43:39,720 --> 01:43:41,840
So the six pillars you're
talking about are the, are the

1312
01:43:41,840 --> 01:43:45,320
six pillars, is that the central
figure of the book?

1313
01:43:46,480 --> 01:43:48,800
No, no, that's the.
That's the story.

1314
01:43:49,440 --> 01:43:54,760
The six pillars are what we rely
on for overall brain health for

1315
01:43:54,760 --> 01:43:58,000
everybody.
We all should basically do the

1316
01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:02,360
six pillars.
Now the the book is really two

1317
01:44:02,360 --> 01:44:08,720
things, although it's it's more
complex than that.

1318
01:44:09,960 --> 01:44:14,880
It's talking about our journey
and what the journey taught us.

1319
01:44:16,400 --> 01:44:29,000
It's talking about the love
affair we had and quite frankly,

1320
01:44:29,840 --> 01:44:33,240
what were, what were we
challenged with when we fell in

1321
01:44:33,240 --> 01:44:39,360
love?
We're young kids, and we were

1322
01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:44,920
attracted to each other.
Do you worry when you have a

1323
01:44:44,920 --> 01:44:48,640
tough exam coming up and that
you got to study and you got to

1324
01:44:48,640 --> 01:44:50,640
do these things and you're
learning things that are

1325
01:44:50,640 --> 01:44:54,800
somewhat overwhelming?
The first time you see surgery,

1326
01:44:54,800 --> 01:44:58,160
do you faint?
And I mean all these things go

1327
01:44:58,160 --> 01:45:02,040
on and on.
You adapt to them.

1328
01:45:02,720 --> 01:45:10,640
And so the book talks about our
journey and our love affair, but

1329
01:45:10,640 --> 01:45:17,120
also what we learned that was
very, very important.

1330
01:45:18,080 --> 01:45:25,360
And it took a book, it took the
whole book to get that across.

1331
01:45:26,200 --> 01:45:31,280
And I have to say that we, I
think we were really able to do

1332
01:45:31,280 --> 01:45:36,160
that.
The back cover of the book

1333
01:45:36,520 --> 01:45:41,000
summarizes it nicely.
If you if you want me to read

1334
01:45:41,000 --> 01:45:44,760
that it.
It doesn't take long and it

1335
01:45:44,760 --> 01:45:49,280
tells the store you tell me if
you want me to.

1336
01:45:50,040 --> 01:45:51,280
I can put that in the show
notes.

1337
01:45:51,280 --> 01:45:53,560
I'll link I'll link your I'll
link your website in the in the

1338
01:45:53,560 --> 01:46:00,160
book in the show notes.
But yeah, I mean so much value

1339
01:46:00,160 --> 01:46:09,200
in in sharing it's.
When you think about the like

1340
01:46:09,200 --> 01:46:12,640
the exponential way to to you
know touch lies and make an

1341
01:46:12,640 --> 01:46:14,360
impact, right.
That's why a lot of us are

1342
01:46:14,720 --> 01:46:19,400
ultimately here.
I I'm just, you know I think I'm

1343
01:46:19,400 --> 01:46:21,520
sure a lot of people are
thankful that you you've taken

1344
01:46:21,520 --> 01:46:29,280
the steps to do that and and
share the story and you know the

1345
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:32,960
everything around it with the
with the intention of you know

1346
01:46:33,360 --> 01:46:34,600
helping someone else.
Sure.

1347
01:46:36,760 --> 01:46:41,200
In in, in the brain center, we
do coaching, OK, We're not going

1348
01:46:41,200 --> 01:46:47,680
to be the, the quote clients
because we don't have people,

1349
01:46:47,720 --> 01:46:50,880
their patients, they're called
clients.

1350
01:46:51,240 --> 01:46:57,960
Well, only only because we're
not a healthcare system we don't

1351
01:46:57,960 --> 01:47:06,640
have.
We're not doctors practicing in

1352
01:47:06,640 --> 01:47:08,760
medicine.
We're not going to be your

1353
01:47:08,760 --> 01:47:11,040
doctor.
We're going to be coaches.

1354
01:47:11,680 --> 01:47:14,120
We've been on a journey and
we've learned things.

1355
01:47:14,200 --> 01:47:18,160
We don't have all the answers,
but we're willing to spend time

1356
01:47:18,160 --> 01:47:23,680
with you and understand what
you're understand and help

1357
01:47:23,720 --> 01:47:29,440
educate you in what's your
challenge Challenged with and

1358
01:47:31,000 --> 01:47:37,040
the good example with
Parkinson's disease.

1359
01:47:37,240 --> 01:47:41,400
I'll do coaching and I'll see
somebody that has been newly

1360
01:47:41,400 --> 01:47:44,640
diagnosed and they've been
worried because it's a real

1361
01:47:44,640 --> 01:47:47,240
disease.
They feel differently and felt

1362
01:47:47,240 --> 01:47:50,840
differently, she said.
What's going on with me?

1363
01:47:51,680 --> 01:47:55,480
There's something going on and
nobody's been able to give me an

1364
01:47:55,480 --> 01:47:59,520
answer.
Some of these people have been

1365
01:47:59,520 --> 01:48:03,040
diagnosed.
Some of these people are worried

1366
01:48:03,560 --> 01:48:08,120
and somebody suggested that, oh,
it could be this or they may

1367
01:48:08,120 --> 01:48:11,600
have Parkins, their their father
may have Parkinson's disease and

1368
01:48:11,600 --> 01:48:14,920
all of a sudden they've got a
little bit of a tremor and and

1369
01:48:14,920 --> 01:48:18,440
they're they're struggling.
OK, yes, you go see your

1370
01:48:18,440 --> 01:48:20,680
doctors, you see your
neurologist.

1371
01:48:23,080 --> 01:48:28,080
So somebody comes in and they
say I have to wait 2-2 months to

1372
01:48:28,080 --> 01:48:33,560
see the neurologist and you
don't know what to do.

1373
01:48:34,400 --> 01:48:42,520
I'm just worried if
understandable, I take their

1374
01:48:42,600 --> 01:48:47,480
history and said if I don't know
if you've got Parkinson's or

1375
01:48:47,480 --> 01:48:53,800
not, but your brain is not
working the way it should be at

1376
01:48:53,800 --> 01:48:59,240
whatever is going on.
And so we'll listen to him.

1377
01:49:00,720 --> 01:49:07,280
And frequently in an hour and a
half visit, I'll say, yeah, I I

1378
01:49:07,280 --> 01:49:09,920
imagine, I think you probably do
a Parkinson's.

1379
01:49:10,560 --> 01:49:14,040
I'm not going to be your doctor,
but I said I'll and I'll tell

1380
01:49:14,400 --> 01:49:17,120
tell him our journey with Anne
and what we learned.

1381
01:49:17,480 --> 01:49:19,840
And you can't even do that in an
hour and a half.

1382
01:49:19,840 --> 01:49:23,600
It takes longer than that.
And then we talk about the

1383
01:49:23,600 --> 01:49:28,080
things that we had to deal with
that our doctors didn't

1384
01:49:28,080 --> 01:49:34,120
understand and we learned and we
found, you know, a terrible high

1385
01:49:34,120 --> 01:49:41,160
blood pressure.
One day we couldn't wake her up

1386
01:49:43,560 --> 01:49:48,360
and her blood pressure was 220 /
120.

1387
01:49:49,040 --> 01:49:52,560
This is a 90 pound lady at this
time.

1388
01:49:54,400 --> 01:49:58,240
She's unresponsive.
Laying in bed color is good,

1389
01:49:58,440 --> 01:50:05,320
breathing well, good pulse.
So I call her doctor, who said

1390
01:50:05,320 --> 01:50:09,960
he's going to be right out.
I didn't call 911 because she's

1391
01:50:09,960 --> 01:50:13,000
breathing.
She doesn't need a closed chest

1392
01:50:13,000 --> 01:50:18,760
massage or anything else.
And so the doctor.

1393
01:50:20,440 --> 01:50:24,440
Our doctor comes.
Yes, her blood pressure's 220 /

1394
01:50:24,440 --> 01:50:29,080
110.
We got to get her blood, wake

1395
01:50:29,080 --> 01:50:32,840
her up and give her one of your
blood pressure pills because I

1396
01:50:32,840 --> 01:50:38,040
have high blood pressure.
And so we sort of sit her up in

1397
01:50:38,040 --> 01:50:43,520
bed and all of a sudden she
starts to wake up, says hi to

1398
01:50:43,520 --> 01:50:47,840
the doctor, says hi to me and
she checks out.

1399
01:50:47,840 --> 01:50:51,680
Normal neurologically, but her
blood pressure is still up but

1400
01:50:51,680 --> 01:50:55,480
she's awake.
Now recover one of my blood

1401
01:50:55,480 --> 01:50:59,000
pressure pills.
OK, what caused our high blood

1402
01:50:59,000 --> 01:51:01,160
pressure?
It's called supine.

1403
01:51:01,440 --> 01:51:09,080
Supine, meaning lying down,
hypertension. 50% of people with

1404
01:51:09,480 --> 01:51:13,680
Parkinson's have major blood
pressure problems, either too

1405
01:51:13,680 --> 01:51:21,080
high or too low or both, due to
the disease affecting the nerves

1406
01:51:21,080 --> 01:51:27,960
that control our blood pressure.
OK, this is well established but

1407
01:51:27,960 --> 01:51:34,360
not appreciated by most people,
including virtually everybody I

1408
01:51:34,360 --> 01:51:39,760
see for coaching.
They they're not aware of that.

1409
01:51:40,280 --> 01:51:43,920
OK, keep an eye on your blood
pressure, especially when you're

1410
01:51:43,920 --> 01:51:48,560
lying down.
There's no doubt blood pressure

1411
01:51:48,560 --> 01:51:51,480
gets too low when you stand up
too fast.

1412
01:51:51,640 --> 01:51:55,080
When you've had a big Turkey
dinner on Thanksgiving and you

1413
01:51:55,240 --> 01:51:59,040
you fall asleep watching the
football game afterwards, Why,

1414
01:51:59,280 --> 01:52:03,320
All the blood is going to your
gut, digesting that food, and

1415
01:52:03,320 --> 01:52:05,960
it's not going to your brain and
keeping you alert.

1416
01:52:07,160 --> 01:52:11,600
All those things are real.
And so that that was one of the

1417
01:52:11,600 --> 01:52:13,560
things that we really learned
with Annie.

1418
01:52:14,120 --> 01:52:20,040
And we learned, keep her well
hydrated before she gets out of

1419
01:52:20,040 --> 01:52:24,400
bed in the morning.
Ordinarily, if we had nothing to

1420
01:52:24,400 --> 01:52:26,680
drink all night long, we're
dehydrated.

1421
01:52:27,080 --> 01:52:30,280
OK, We go into the bathroom.
If we don't have any diseases,

1422
01:52:30,280 --> 01:52:34,400
we drink some water, we brush
our teeth and we adapt and we

1423
01:52:34,400 --> 01:52:39,280
have breakfast.
OK, That process is much slower

1424
01:52:39,280 --> 01:52:42,400
in some way with Ann's
Parkinson's disease.

1425
01:52:43,240 --> 01:52:47,680
And she passed out with on me
numerous times in the morning

1426
01:52:47,680 --> 01:52:51,080
when I got her up, what they do
lie her down on the floor and

1427
01:52:51,080 --> 01:52:54,160
get her feet up in the air.
All of a sudden she'd open her

1428
01:52:54,160 --> 01:52:57,320
eyes and said what are you doing
on the floor?

1429
01:52:57,440 --> 01:53:02,400
And I said you zoned out on me.
And she said I did not.

1430
01:53:02,680 --> 01:53:07,640
Well, she she was on, you know,
she passed out, and we learned

1431
01:53:08,600 --> 01:53:11,840
to get to avoid that from
happening before.

1432
01:53:11,840 --> 01:53:15,080
I got her out of bed in the
morning, gave her a glass of

1433
01:53:15,080 --> 01:53:19,720
water, and if she was having
trouble swallowing, we made

1434
01:53:19,720 --> 01:53:23,440
smoothies.
And so I'd give her her morning

1435
01:53:23,440 --> 01:53:27,000
smoothie while she's in bed.
Now, was that easy?

1436
01:53:27,240 --> 01:53:30,440
Not necessarily, because
sometimes she she had trouble

1437
01:53:30,440 --> 01:53:34,280
swallowing, and she had a
swallowing study in which the,

1438
01:53:34,720 --> 01:53:38,280
the speech therapist said she
should never use a straw.

1439
01:53:38,280 --> 01:53:40,680
Well, I've got to get nutrition
in her.

1440
01:53:41,400 --> 01:53:44,280
If she can't, if she can't
swallow anything and can't use

1441
01:53:44,280 --> 01:53:47,480
the straw, she's going to have
to have a feeding tube, which

1442
01:53:47,480 --> 01:53:50,640
she did not want.
Has its own side effects.

1443
01:53:51,120 --> 01:53:57,400
And we found a way. 2 smoothies
every day we give her, she'd get

1444
01:53:59,800 --> 01:54:04,360
1500 calories in in those two
smoothies and that kept her

1445
01:54:04,360 --> 01:54:07,840
weight from going down further
from 90 pounds.

1446
01:54:08,600 --> 01:54:17,280
And we also then we'd give her
McDonald's strawberry shake

1447
01:54:19,040 --> 01:54:24,000
after the second smoothie as a
reward.

1448
01:54:24,000 --> 01:54:25,480
We all need a little reward at
the end.

1449
01:54:25,480 --> 01:54:29,680
That's right.
So we've we found ways to do

1450
01:54:29,680 --> 01:54:34,960
things and and keep her
nutrition going well and and and

1451
01:54:34,960 --> 01:54:37,760
healthy nutrition.
When I made her smoothies, it's

1452
01:54:37,760 --> 01:54:44,560
loaded with good protein and
good fat and safe carbohydrates.

1453
01:54:45,480 --> 01:54:53,000
So all that stuff, you're you're
hearing a lot of the book and

1454
01:54:53,840 --> 01:54:58,520
that's why I had to put it in a
book, because you, you forget

1455
01:54:58,920 --> 01:55:04,320
certain topics.
And so we we added as much as we

1456
01:55:04,320 --> 01:55:07,000
could, yeah.
Well, I appreciate you coming

1457
01:55:07,000 --> 01:55:09,440
and sharing your story, Ralph.
I I think it's really valuable

1458
01:55:09,440 --> 01:55:12,040
that you're sharing it and I'm
glad you did it here.

1459
01:55:12,320 --> 01:55:13,800
Thanks for joining us.
Thank you.