Natalie Jansen - Rock Girl, Radio, Milwaukee's North Ave, & Dating Naked - Ep. #57

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What's up friends, welcome back
to Rooted Wisconsin.

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Appreciate you for clicking
another episode.

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Grateful to have you here.
Today's episode is with Natalie

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Jansen, morning show host from
WIXX, 1/3 of Huggy.

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Natalie and Corey, I think you
know what third and a great

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conversation pumped up to share
with you.

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We talked about Natalie's radio
career, something that's

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passionate for me.
I worked in radio for 10 years.

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I still have a real soft spot
for the industry.

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Her radio career started with
being the rock girl at One O 29

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the Hog.
If you listened down in

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Milwaukee, you might remember
the rock girl.

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I think she says in the
conversation she was the only

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rock girl that transitioned it
to a radio career, which is

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super interesting.
So we talked about that and a

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really funny story.
Now it's a funny story at the

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time, maybe something I
shouldn't have done, an e-mail I

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shouldn't have sent to her
former supervisor at the Hog,

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Joe Calgaro, which was a funny
story for me to tell.

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I haven't revisited that moment
in quite a while.

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You'll have to listen to see
why.

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We also talk about a bunch of
deep stuff, the importance of

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self work, positive
intelligence, something that

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impacted my life really
positively.

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Surprising, right?
A while back we talked about

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parenthood and the importance of
setting boundaries, all kinds of

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stuff.
We also talked about her time as

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a reality TV personality on the
show Dating Naked, which is

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exactly what you think it was
going to an island dating a

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bunch of people stark naked,
which is a wild experience as

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you would guess.
Also talked about the mystique

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that was North Ave. in Milwaukee
in the early 20 tens, which was

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if you were there, you know, and
if you weren't, you missed it.

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All kinds of good stuff.
Pumped up to share the episode

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as always.
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Also big shout out to Joel and

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crew at Wonder Sign who made
some really cool hats for the

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podcast.
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Without further ado though,
let's jump into this episode.

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Natalie Jansen.
So have the ways we try to lift

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our neighbors.
Where did the love go?

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Where did the talk?
And we need some help to make

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this better again.
But that's that's something you

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do a lot of, like
self-awareness, self-directed

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work.
Yes, a lot of practice.

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I mean, I practice it everyday.
And I think of the last seven

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years, I mean, since I've had my
son, I've had to, well,

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recently, this last two years,
I've recently tried to learn how

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to rewire my nervous system.
And I think people don't

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understand how sensitive your
nervous system is and how gentle

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you need to be with it
sometimes.

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And everyone is in such a high
strung environment with social

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media and the need for
everything now.

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And people don't know how to sit
with discomfort anymore or sit

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with discomfort and learn how to
think critically before you do

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an impulse decision.
And I used to be like that.

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That's got me a lot of trouble.
So I don't do it anymore.

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I try not to.
And you have to learn your own

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patterns to be better and not
blame everyone else for your

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problems because it might be
other people's problems for why

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you're in certain situations.
But then you think, how did I

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allow this to happen?
And what can I, what can I see

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happening to me?
Or I'm like, wait a minute,

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that's not a good idea.
Let's let's just break off of

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that.
And it comes from PTSD and

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trauma and moving forward and
wanting a better life, wanting

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to break cycles.
But you have to have a lot of

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mental strength for that.
And people don't know how to sit

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with their thoughts.
That's why meditating is so hard

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for people.
Even one minute just thinking of

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sitting there completely silent.
People are thinking, what do I

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have to do later on today?
What?

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What do I have to get at the
grocery store?

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What am I going to do in the
next 5 minutes?

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Like, who cares?
You have one minute and that's

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what you have to start off with
is 1 minute.

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Absolutely.
And then you go from there.

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That's so good.
Yeah.

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Have you ever heard of a thing
called positive intelligence?

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Does that ring a bell to you at
all?

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Yes.
Well, positive reinforcement.

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OK, no, that's cool concept too
though.

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So positive intelligence is kind
of a shift of the way of looking

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at emotional intelligence
training.

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Like we've all heard that
positive intelligence was a dude

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named Shurzad Sharmini.
I hope there's an R in there and

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I'm not.
He's a, he was a instructor at

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Harvard or professor at Harvard
and he came up, created this

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positive intelligence thing,
which is it was transformational

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in my life thinking, hearing
what you're saying.

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What he, he identified calls
them saboteurs.

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And there's like seven of these
saboteurs that are basically at

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the root level.
There are unconscious reactions

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to or what drive our unconscious
reactions to the world around

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us.
So I had a awesome opportunity

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to do this six month positive
intelligence training and

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diagnose my cyber tours and
figure out like for the first

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time in my life, even being
reflective.

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And at that point I was already
doing yoga and meditating and

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trying to practice on myself.
Even at that point when I

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diagnose my saboteurs, my main
one was something called Hype.

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Was it hyper achiever I think is
the actual name of it her?

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I can't remember the names of
them, but the concept of it was

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like, it guides you to this path
of what your unconscious

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decisions do and like your
reactions to things and why we

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see people like who have gone
through trauma or something go

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to level 11 right away when some
certain type of thing happens.

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Transformational in my life.
And and this was like a work

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thing.
And yeah, it made me better at

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work, but it made me a better
husband.

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It made me a better dad.
It made me just a better human.

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And I, I'm completely on board
with you.

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You're right.
And I don't think, I don't think

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it's because people don't want
to.

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I think that people don't have
the tools.

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To do it I will 1000% agree
because a lot of people don't

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have tools or know where to look
or just blame their genetics.

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Oh well.
My mom was like this, my dad was

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like this.
It's just who I am.

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Maybe that's who you think you
are, but that's not who you have

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to be right?
And when you say you're a

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saboteur, I wonder if that's
almost parallel with self

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sabotage.
Like you learn how you self

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sabotage in certain ways.
Like mine is hyper independence.

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I am a hyper independence girl.
The thought of someone doing

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something for me makes me want
to throw up and that I've

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learned again that that comes
over time of recognizing when

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I'm in my hyperdependence and
why is that being triggered and

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how to allow people to come in.
So I think a six month journey

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like you went on, I wish
everybody could go on something

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like that because it is life
changing and it's also who you

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surround yourself with.
I learned that very early on

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into motherhood.
When you become a parent, a lot

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of things change in your life
and your close friends.

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I don't, I don't discredit them
for how they feel about, oh,

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we'll just get a babysitter or
come on, come out.

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It's been so long.
I don't discredit their

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excitement and disappointment if
I can't go because they don't

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know what it's like yet, and
that's OK.

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I don't hold resentment for them
and I don't hold resentment if

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they don't ask me to come out
anymore.

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That's just where we're growing
in different ways.

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But I also had to realize the
difference of good and bad

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people when you become a parent
too.

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And that's where hyper
independence came up from is

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people disappointing you.
Does that make sense?

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Like I feel like I'm rambling
right now.

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Like I'm so fascinated by what
you said that I'm like, now I'm

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picturing all my different
saboteurs and like, I'm

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wondering what all of mine would
be.

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So can I ask, when with your
different saboteurs, is there a

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certain amount like you know,
chakras, right?

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How what is it like 7 chakras or
whatever through your body?

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Is it almost something like that
with the saboteurs?

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Like there's hyperactive,
there's hyperdependence, there's

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where you can almost say
perfection of being a

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perfectionist.
Do you know if there's other

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labels like that that you work
through?

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You mean like a the like
alternative definitions?

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You said, yeah, let's look them
up.

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We got time.
That's one of the best thing

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about podcasts.
Let's let's look up all.

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Research session.
Yeah, let's look up all seven of

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them because this is a, this is
probably five years ago that I

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got to, I got to do this.
But let's look them all up and

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see which one you may be most
aligned with.

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Oh perfect, scary and exciting
all at the same time.

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Might get me emotional.
Well, that's OK.

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And as I'm as I'm doing this, I
was listening on the way in this

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morning to to your show and you
were talking about some of this

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stuff.
Yeah.

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Like the, the part that I
listened to on the way here this

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morning was you discussing like
volunteer time and like weighing

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the balance of your life.
Yeah, compared to what

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expectations other people have
of you and the weight of being a

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parent.
But also like one of the best

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things I that I thought you
said, and I, I won't get a

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verbatim, but you said something
like, yeah, I'm going to show up

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and I'm going to be there for my
son, but I'm going to moderate

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what happens for everybody
else's, right children.

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It was something like.
Like, I might not be able to

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show up for the whole team, but
I'll show up for my son.

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Yeah.
Because.

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And that's where my boundary of
people pleasing came in that I

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have worked on for the last.
Time.

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There you go.
I was an awful people pleaser.

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I never wanted anyone to think
differently of me.

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I never wanted to feel like I
was.

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Couldn't help somebody and with
people pleasing you can get

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taken advantage of very easily
and as a mother and learning how

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to put up boundaries and being a
single mom at that, you really

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need to have strong boundaries.
And so it's my first time my

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son's in basketball.
It's my first time in a new town

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with new parents that have grown
up here basically.

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And so was I worried?
Like, oh, she's not.

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Does she think she's better than
everyone because she's not

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volunteering?
It's like, no, I don't.

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It's just I, I can't wear myself
thin.

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I woke up at 4:00 in the morning
and I've had two coffees and a

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Red Bull.
Yeah, like I haven't even had

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breakfast yet.
And I just know that about

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myself so I can be more present
for my son when he needs it

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instead of volunteering at
something.

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I, I've been up since, you know,
3:00 AM and I just physically

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might not be able to do it.
And if I do something, I like to

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give my all to it.
If I say I'm going to do

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something, I'm going to do it.
If I say no to you, trust me,

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it's, it's a favor for you.
Like I'm just telling you it's

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good because I don't, I don't
ever want to be in a position

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where I say I'm going to be
somewhere and I'm too tired or

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I've over exhausted myself and
I'm sick and now I can't show

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up.
That's to me worse than just

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buying out.
And I bought out.

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It's not like I'm just like
saying peace out.

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Like I'm giving you money like
I'm helping you out.

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I will.
I, I have learned in my 30s to

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pay for convenience.
Yes.

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00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,000
And is the best thing I've ever
taught myself.

226
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,280
One of the best things.
Pay for convenience amount of

227
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,760
minutes in the day.
That's right.

228
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,720
And we devote attention.
Yeah.

229
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,200
I, I'm not able to find it right
now.

230
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,800
And I want to make sure I'm
present with us.

231
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,720
So somebody, I'll have a, I'll
have a Jamie like Rogan has, and

232
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,480
I'll have like a computer
monitor here that we can stare

233
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,560
at like we're looking at a
theatre screen or something.

234
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,200
I think that all of that is so
interesting to me when you

235
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:37,720
really can learn about your
triggers and yourself and how to

236
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,480
respond to others too.
Because that's another thing is

237
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,960
how to not let people get under
your skin, how to not let people

238
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,360
get to you.
And I mean, having a podcast,

239
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,160
you're very vulnerable.
You're putting yourself out

240
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,880
there.
Having ATV show and a radio

241
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,040
show, people can and people can
say whatever they want.

242
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,200
Their opinion of me is none of
my business.

243
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,880
Truly.
It's not say my show sucks.

244
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,680
Cool.
Some days it probably does.

245
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,040
I like to think I'm funny, so
I'll always be biased, but

246
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,880
that's OK.
But again, you have to have

247
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,200
thick skin, especially in a
social media world.

248
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,120
Yeah.
And you sign up for it, you sign

249
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,520
on the dotted line when you take
those gigs, like it comes with

250
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:22,840
it being in the public eye.
And there's a certain level I

251
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:29,840
think that it probably becomes
almost irrational.

252
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:33,200
Like I think of like, I think of
like Aaron Rodgers when I think

253
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:36,480
of this, of like how many people
paint Aaron in a bad light?

254
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,920
When you have that many people
who know your name, there's a

255
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,480
certain amount of society that
sucks and they're going to like

256
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:48,680
do something to whatever.
But ultimately, until you reach

257
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:52,280
that super high echelon point, I
think it's what you sign up for.

258
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,920
I used to host a a pretty
popular radio show in the UP and

259
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,280
it was just interesting.
The, you know, it's interesting

260
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,520
the dynamic a lot of time as
radio people like the classic

261
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,200
line is, oh, now I could put a
face to the name like I bet you

262
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,840
or a face to the voice.
I bet you've been told that 100

263
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,880
times.
I constantly feel like I'm on

264
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:19,360
Love is Blind because they only
know my voice and then they see

265
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,560
me and I'm like, this could go
one or two ways right now.

266
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,280
That's it.
Yeah, that's so funny.

267
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:28,760
I I used to the studio, I used
to have to do it from they had

268
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,280
this glass.
It was like glass window and

269
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:36,160
listeners would come in and like
they would let them come and

270
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,960
look through the glass as I was
like hosting the show.

271
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,920
I always felt like a trained
monkey.

272
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,720
Yeah, you're just, you're just
the fish in the aquarium.

273
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,800
This is what it's like.
People just look at you and

274
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,000
you're like, oh, the species is
odd.

275
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,680
Yeah, it's great.
It's it's so funny.

276
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,960
And I love when people come up
to me and they're like, you're

277
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,240
not what I thought you looked
like.

278
00:14:55,240 --> 00:15:00,040
I'm like and but there's a
different, but there's never,

279
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:04,600
it's either it's either going to
go and, or but what's funny is

280
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,800
though Corey and Huggy can get
through this better.

281
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,240
They can switch themselves like
they can be like, oh, hi, I'm

282
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:13,440
I'm Corey, but it's Huggy or hi,
I'm I'm Huggy, but it's Corey.

283
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,800
Because people don't know what
you look like sometimes.

284
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,000
And same thing with artists.
A lot of people don't know what

285
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,080
the artists look like.
I just think it's silly.

286
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,560
That's so funny.
I I like to be behind, though.

287
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,400
I like to be a little bit of a
mystery.

288
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,840
Yeah.
I don't like to be in front of

289
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,320
the camera that much anymore.
Yeah, I don't know.

290
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,160
I just like observing.
Yeah.

291
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,800
Yeah.
Well, and being a reflective

292
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,760
person, I think that that
doesn't surprise me all that

293
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,720
much once you start thinking
about life that way, you like to

294
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,840
have some time to think and
look.

295
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,760
And my, my wife too, is a, she
is a, a watcher before she goes

296
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,360
into, I'm kind of like a golden
retriever, like I, I'm an

297
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,080
extrovert.
And she like she, she assesses

298
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,480
the situations before she does
anything.

299
00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:00,360
And you know, she'll have the
kind of the scowl on sometimes

300
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,200
I'll be like, darling, just let
it go down a little bit.

301
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,640
We're good.
And that's my biggest thing.

302
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,120
Oh my gosh.
Cuz I have like, I have really

303
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,160
bad social anxiety.
Like even right now, like I can,

304
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:12,360
I can tell I'm fidgeting and I'm
not, I just can't help it

305
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,080
sometimes.
And people always say, well,

306
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,720
you're radio, you do all this
stuff.

307
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,600
How can your social anxiety?
I'm like because I do.

308
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:24,880
I just, I get nervous around
people because behind in radio

309
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,400
I'm in a studio with two people,
two other people.

310
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,440
I'm just talking to my best
friends everyday.

311
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,840
It's safe and you know to
expect.

312
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,360
Yes, it's safe and that's my big
thing is safety.

313
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,000
And when I get out in a crowd,
everyone's unpredictable.

314
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:38,960
I don't know what's going to
happen.

315
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,760
I don't know if someone's going
to be weird towards me or

316
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,200
towards my Co host or when I
bring Atlas, I'm like very on

317
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,600
edge and very like, you know,
mom mode.

318
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,840
And so sometimes I've had the
classic you, you seem a lot

319
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,720
nicer than what I thought you
would be.

320
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,880
And it I think it's because I
just honestly have resting bitch

321
00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,360
face sometimes because I'm just
like watching everyone else and

322
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,160
I get really tense.
And it's funny because Huggy and

323
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,720
Corey will literally be like,
it's OK.

324
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,400
And I'm like, you're right, I'm
cool.

325
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,720
It's fun.
But sometimes I'm just so like,

326
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:15,480
I want to throw up sometimes
being out in public and I like

327
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:18,359
to be a hermit.
Sometimes, though, when I go

328
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,440
out, it has to be with people
that I really trust, like my

329
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,040
best friends.
And then I'll be then, you know,

330
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,720
feral mom comes out.
She's she's a whole other

331
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:28,560
person.
The.

332
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,640
Alter ego.
The alter ego, yes.

333
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,000
And only a little bit of people
get to see that.

334
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,360
Just a small group of people get
to see that.

335
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,600
But when I do these events, I I
love talking to people.

336
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,600
That's the thing.
I love getting to know them.

337
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,600
I love the vibes.
I appreciate that they allow me

338
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,400
into their home through their
speakers.

339
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:50,280
That's kind of weird to say.
They they enjoy what we do.

340
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,600
And I want, I do want to thank
them.

341
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,000
I want to be their friend.
I want to get to know them.

342
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,160
I'm just scared at first.
Yeah, you know.

343
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,360
Yeah.
So how'd you, how'd you get into

344
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,280
it in the first place?
How'd you decide to start

345
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,720
working in radio?
Talking's the only thing I'm

346
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:09,200
good at.
My story is kind of funny.

347
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,120
It's kind of embarrassing.
No, it's not embarrassing.

348
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,440
We're going to own it.
So there is this rock station in

349
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,480
Milwaukee.
It's still there.

350
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,880
One O 29 the hog and in 2014
they had.

351
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,560
A Were you the rock?
Girl, yeah, OK, but this story

352
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,080
is great.
I didn't know that before this.

353
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:30,560
Yeah, so this story is great.
And 2014, I applied for it and I

354
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,080
was just so enthralled by it.
I never saw anything like it.

355
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,240
I thought it was so cool.
Not necessarily to be like the

356
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,840
spokesmodel for a year, but
everything that they get to do

357
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,640
in the shows that they get to be
involved in.

358
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,200
And I've always loved music.
I've always loved rock shows.

359
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,840
My brother, he's a musician and
he would perform in a cover band

360
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,000
and I used to think it was the
coolest thing that he did.

361
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,880
He was a coolest person to me,
still is, honestly.

362
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,840
And I was like, I'm going to do
it.

363
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,480
I'm going to try it.
So I tried out for it.

364
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,240
I had a literally my boss at the
time, I worked for this bar,

365
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,400
rented a school bus and we
packed everybody in it for the

366
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,040
finale.
And I was so confident.

367
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,440
I was like, I got this.
It's good.

368
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,400
I was like about to walk out
when they said the name because

369
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,240
I was how confident it was
wasn't my name.

370
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,480
Oh, so you didn't win?
I didn't win and I thought,

371
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:21,560
well, back on the bus, everyone
quiet ride home and because I do

372
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,520
everything out of spite, I'm
like, I'm going to do this

373
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:28,360
again.
So the following year I studied

374
00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,680
like what was it that I why
wasn't I good enough?

375
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,800
What was happening?
And the things that they did

376
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,880
were so goofy.
You know, just go to this bar,

377
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,800
do this game, go to this bar,
say this stuff.

378
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,560
And you know, it could not get
away during the Me Too movement

379
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,120
at all with what we were doing.
But I had so much fun with it.

380
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:50,600
So 2015 happened and again, I
was ready like I all hands on

381
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,560
deck, everyone's voting,
everyone we're doing the right

382
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,600
pictures, we're having the right
looks.

383
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,440
And I truly did love the
station.

384
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,920
I truly do love rock music, but
it was way more than that.

385
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,120
And I was on a dance company
called Fem Ferros, an all girl

386
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,320
dance company.
Milwaukee.

387
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,480
We're no longer a thing.
But it was the best time of my

388
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,760
life and.
The owner, Tiffany, she was

389
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,360
like, we're going to go above
and beyond.

390
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:17,800
And we did this whole rock this
dance video to pour some sugar

391
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,960
on me and we launched it the
week of the last week of voting.

392
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,920
These girls were pissed because
it was something so different,

393
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,360
so out there.
And I had a great team behind me

394
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,280
and we were just, I was so
fearless.

395
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,000
I didn't have social anxiety,
was scared of me during that

396
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,400
time.
Like we just went for it and we

397
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,720
did the finale.
It was that how's

398
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,640
Harley-Davidson, which is no
longer there.

399
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,880
And I won.
And when I won, I knew I was

400
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,120
like, I want to do something
different with this.

401
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,760
Like this is something I want to
do.

402
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,960
And then three months in, I
couldn't be the rock girl

403
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:57,840
anymore because I got my TV
show.

404
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:05,240
So that's where that came in.
And I remember the program or

405
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,840
not program director, but the
general manager of the station,

406
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,440
they were like, you just you
just won this three months ago.

407
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,720
You have a contract to be here
for the entire year.

408
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:15,840
They weren't going to let me do
this TV show.

409
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,080
And I said, all right, thinking
in my head, like, thanks,

410
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,560
Natalie, like what can you do to
make it worth it for them?

411
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,680
And I said, you know, me and my
little I was thinking ahead.

412
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,960
I said, listen, you can have all
the rights to all my interviews.

413
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,840
We could have the premiere show
every week.

414
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,480
We can have our premiere party,
we can sell it to advertisers,

415
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:40,760
we can sponsor it.
And only you will get the once

416
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,560
it shows on airs on Wednesday
nights, we'll talk about it

417
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,960
Thursday.
You'll get my Intel of what

418
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,200
really happened.
And to me, I think that's way

419
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,520
more beneficial.
And they get to say like, oh,

420
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,320
our rock roll is on a national
TV show.

421
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,080
She did all this and it worked.
It worked.

422
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,760
But I was so naive at the time
either.

423
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,600
I didn't get a dime for it and I
didn't know any better.

424
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,640
I I didn't know what I was
doing.

425
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,280
Do they still own the rights?
Do they still own those rights?

426
00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:10,360
I mean rights as in like, like.
Could you do a reunion show?

427
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,320
Yes.
So they didn't own anything with

428
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,920
VH1.
It's just rights to me to like I

429
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,560
would talk, only talk
specifically to this station.

430
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,040
I would only do their premier
party.

431
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:24,440
But I had no say in the Premier
Party and I didn't know really

432
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,760
what I was saying.
Right.

433
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:28,360
Yeah.
But luckily they allowed me to

434
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,800
learn my mistakes, which I'm
very grateful for.

435
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:36,560
And then once my reign was about
to be over and they were doing a

436
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,960
new rock girl, I was like, I
don't want this to end.

437
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,640
I really don't.
And I became so annoying.

438
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,600
Can I learn this?
How do you do this?

439
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,120
Let me interview this person,
this, this rock star, this band,

440
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,720
and I was the first rock girl to
ever get hired as on air talent.

441
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,320
And I ran with it because I was
just so enthralled of how to

442
00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:02,280
tell a story, how to be on air,
how to keep people entertained.

443
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,520
I don't know.
I just always loved

444
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,680
entertaining, whether it was
dancing, whether it was just

445
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,920
telling jokes, being goofy as a
child.

446
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,600
I just always loved it and I
never left and now I'm in Green

447
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,040
Bay.
Yeah, yeah.

448
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,640
See, that's that's way more than
the only, the only good thing

449
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,400
you had is talking Yeah, or
however you said it earlier.

450
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,600
Yeah, I still think that though.
And they did that.

451
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,520
So I think I I did, from what I
can tell, like online.

452
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,000
I did some research before we
came in today.

453
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,320
I think our times overlapped in
Milwaukee a little bit.

454
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:39,920
I lived in Milwaukee for like 7
years too but I don't know how

455
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:44,360
much overlap there was.
It looked like it looked like

456
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,560
you spent some time at the East
Sider back in the day.

457
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,600
Is that the bar you worked at?
I did work at East Siders.

458
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,880
Did you ever go there?
I didn't go to, I would go to

459
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,600
the East Sider for the $3 Long
Island night.

460
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,400
But you.
Know about E siders?

461
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:57,800
You know, like you've been
there.

462
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,480
Oh yeah.
Oh.

463
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,680
Yeah, iconic place.
Yeah, yeah.

464
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:04,920
So the, the, the at that time,
it was $3 Long Islands.

465
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,360
My buddies and I would go there
sometime.

466
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,960
My first year of college was
spent at UWM and then I

467
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,280
transferred colleges, but I
stayed living in Milwaukee for

468
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,120
seven years.
I probably served you Long

469
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,840
Island's potentially.
That's hilarious.

470
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,640
Potentially, yeah.
We probably did free bombs

471
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,200
together playing dice or
something, yeah.

472
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,960
Probably, yeah.
And that was a That's a strange

473
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,720
time of life, you know that?
I mean, North Avenue was just

474
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,680
such you had to experience that
you had Vitucci's East Sider

475
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,120
Library Club or Decibel
depending on when you were down

476
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:37,040
there.
BBC Hotel Foster What an iconic

477
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,880
time to be alive during that
time and be underage.

478
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,520
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.

479
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,080
All those spots, man, the BBC,
we used to go there for burgers.

480
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,440
I think they had a burger night
though.

481
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,360
Always trying to save.
Money tables.

482
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:54,880
Yeah, so many pool tables.
So nice now I don't know if

483
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:56,840
you've been to East Sider's
lately, it's not E Sider

484
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,440
anymore, but they switched where
even the bar was.

485
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,400
Now the bar is on a whole
different side.

486
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,400
They switched the bar completely
and the bathrooms are clean.

487
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,080
Clean bathroom there.
Listen, if you go men, even one

488
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,120
in the girls bathroom because I
know it was safer.

489
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,920
Which is a better place to be?
Oh, those bathrooms, man, I'll

490
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,280
tell you.
It looks way different.

491
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:21,760
No, I the the first time for in
a long time because after that I

492
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,000
moved to the UP and you know the
opposite of Milwaukee.

493
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,440
I moved to the UP for seven
years and then like this was

494
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:33,160
probably last winter, I went and
did a a podcast recording day

495
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,680
just above the OR next to the
Oriental Theatre.

496
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,880
OK, beautiful theatre.
Yeah, so my buddy, my buddy runs

497
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,120
AMKE Sports down there and he
had a space.

498
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,240
So I went and did a episode of
the pod with him and a couple

499
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:46,840
other people.
OK.

500
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,480
But I was driving around and I
was like, yeah, you know, it's,

501
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,840
it's, it's cool, like to look
back upon, but it's so

502
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,280
different, you know, and yeah.
It's it's so different.

503
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,280
It would not have survived the
way it did now such.

504
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,480
Yeah.
Back then we were degenerates.

505
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,040
So much awful.
Yeah.

506
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,240
And I don't know why, but even
when there were snowstorms,

507
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:09,480
people would ski to East Siders.
There be nobody on the road.

508
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,040
But skiers come in to have
dollar bombs, baby.

509
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,960
Like nothing will keep you away
from the dollar bombs in

510
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:18,240
Milwaukee.
Yeah, Oh my gosh, I like getting

511
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,600
the taste of Rumble Mints and my
mom just thinking about all this

512
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,560
right now.
Yeah, yeah.

513
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,960
When people ask me now why I
don't drink, I just referenced

514
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,400
those days and say I drank my
fill at that time.

515
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,240
Yes, So then now I don't have
to.

516
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,560
Like I had plenty at that time,
so now I don't have to.

517
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,680
I'm not a drinker, I'm not a big
drinker at all.

518
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,480
I'm just like I get PTSD
thinking about it.

519
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,880
Yeah, kind of circling, circling
back into the first part of our

520
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,320
conversation.
I mean, it's so a roundabout

521
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,960
way.
It's been such a positive

522
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,280
influence on my life when I
never knew it would be just

523
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,960
stopping drinking.
And I did it because I got

524
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,120
headaches.
Like I think I developed an

525
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:56,040
allergy to alcohol where I got
headaches on the same day and I

526
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,080
was just like, well, that's
ruining fun times.

527
00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,440
I'm not going to do that
anymore.

528
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:02,760
So I just quit.
But I, I think, and then part of

529
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,640
this is from being from
Wisconsin to like that culture

530
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,920
was ingrained in me that it,
it's what I grew up seeing and

531
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,960
doing and starting to drink at
15 years old and, and copious

532
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,160
amounts too.
And just like thinking that

533
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,640
that's what life is when it's
really like, no, that's what

534
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:26,680
Wisconsin is sometimes, but it's
not what most people do.

535
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,800
And it's certainly not the
healthy thing to do, especially

536
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:29,920
to excess.
No.

537
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,040
And I'm trying to remember how
Oh yeah, circling in the thought

538
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:37,560
so overlapped him.
But they, they had done Rock

539
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,840
Girl for quite a few years,
right, 567?

540
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,400
Years.
I think it was almost 10 years.

541
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:50,160
And then my good friend Sammy,
it was so weird because the rock

542
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,480
girl that won the year, I lost,
she also lost the year before

543
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,200
and then won it.
And then I lost and then I won

544
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,760
the next one.
Yeah.

545
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,600
And then my good friend Sammy
lost her year, but then won the

546
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,040
last ever rock girl.
And it was right when the Me Too

547
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,360
movement was starting.
And they were just like, for

548
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:10,480
safety reasons, like, we can't
do it.

549
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,360
I'm all for bringing it back, to
be honest.

550
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,880
Like, I think we're in a time
now where women can fend for

551
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,480
themselves and we're strong
enough.

552
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:18,880
Like, we can speak up.
Just don't be dumb.

553
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,640
Like the guy's another woman,
girls girl.

554
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:26,640
I just, I just think it was such
a cultural thing.

555
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,440
It's I know some stations still
do it, though.

556
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:30,600
They still do the rock girl.
I think there's a station in

557
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:34,680
Madison that does it.
But it's a women should be

558
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,760
allowed to feel sexy again.
And I think that was a way for

559
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,280
women to have fun competition.
You know, it wasn't like a

560
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:45,480
bodybuilding competition.
It wasn't a a pageant.

561
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:49,320
It was just we're having fun and
the person with the most fun

562
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,840
personality who's just out
there, they got voted on and

563
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,400
they won.
I think there was many girls who

564
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,560
would have done great as rock
girls.

565
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,960
All of them would have done
great.

566
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,360
So, so much fun.
I had so much fun with my girls.

567
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:07,240
But yeah, I mean, to go back to
the culture, the drinking, the

568
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,600
partying, the the lifestyle, but
it was so fun.

569
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,120
Do I want to do it again?
No.

570
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,280
Yeah.
Drinking like that, no way.

571
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:19,520
It's just not fun for me.
And I think I never to tie in

572
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,160
like Rock girl and drinking and
PTSD and all that.

573
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,080
I never was a big fan of alcohol
that much.

574
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,040
I just did it because everyone
else was.

575
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,520
But as an adult, I really look
at people's behavior when

576
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,680
they're on it and it's actually
kind of scary.

577
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,200
Especially like men in their 30s
and they're out drinking and

578
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,920
they're picking fights because
their ego is so stop it.

579
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,360
Knock it off like you don't look
as cool as you do.

580
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,240
And I think that stuff kind of
scares me and why I don't like

581
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:50,160
to be around people that just
get drunk or angry drunks, like,

582
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,760
I won't hang out with you again.
Yeah.

583
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,200
And that's where those
boundaries come back in place.

584
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,240
And I don't know, Wisconsin's
weird like that though.

585
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,920
I had a fun cover.
Well, I don't know.

586
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,960
Fun's the word.
I had a conversation about that

587
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,880
with some actually, I went on a
golfing trip with my some of my

588
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,280
Milwaukee friends super
recently.

589
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,760
Yeah.
And we talked about this one

590
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,960
dude they used to let come to
their house and they, they were

591
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:11,320
like the house party spot and
they were OK and they would let

592
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,520
this one dude come there who was
an angry drunk.

593
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:20,480
He was a quite a frightening
person, just to look at it like

594
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,240
he's the one that.
Just to look at, well, big guy.

595
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:28,960
Just to look at the situation, I
mean, he was like, he's the

596
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,280
person that you wouldn't be
surprised to hear like the next

597
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,600
day, like he went to jail for 10
years for doing something like

598
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,720
beating somebody to death or
like, blah, blah, blah.

599
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:40,120
He's like that guy.
I'm like, you know, And at that

600
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,040
time, they would always justify
it as, oh, it's just ABC.

601
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,320
That's just ABC.
Just ignore it.

602
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,240
And thinking back on something
like that, I'm like, OK, but

603
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,320
that doesn't change, you know, a
spade's a spade.

604
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:57,480
Like, and being in your early
20s, it's comical at a party to

605
00:30:57,480 --> 00:30:58,920
see something like that.
But I get you where you're

606
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,960
coming from, I guess is what I'm
saying about the fear.

607
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,960
Because like, OK, that
translates into once you develop

608
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,800
as a human and understand
environments and what goes into

609
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,600
societal interaction and
probably that that dude is

610
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:20,360
probably just a scary person in
reality is probably going to do

611
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,680
something extreme bad someday.
Yeah.

612
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,560
It changes how you look at
things, absolutely.

613
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,000
So I get it.
I get what you're saying about

614
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,840
it being scary.
But to be honest, I would rather

615
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:36,360
party like I was in my 20s and
be around other people in their

616
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:38,840
20s or teens and drink and all
that, even though you shouldn't

617
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,760
drink underage than somebody in
their late 30s and 40s because

618
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,600
you think about how much they're
holding in.

619
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,000
Oh, yeah.
And it takes something to really

620
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,280
trigger them.
And some people just, like,

621
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:53,680
black out and get so angry.
And those are the, like, your

622
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,360
uncovered trauma.
I don't want to see on a Friday

623
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,920
night.
We're not going to work through

624
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,600
this right now.
This is a tomorrow.

625
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,200
Thing.
Yeah, this is a tomorrow

626
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,120
problem.
I'm calling the first therapist

627
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,320
I see for you.
That's that's my biggest thing.

628
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,840
Was there was there a so keep
the Milwaukee theme going?

629
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:12,440
Was there a dude named Did Joe
Calgaro work at one O 2.9?

630
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,600
He's my mentor.
Oh my goodness.

631
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:18,360
I love the Calgaro family.
So Joe made me cry the most out

632
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,400
of everyone I've met in the
business.

633
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,000
In good, in good reason.
He was the first man to ever

634
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,640
humble me and thinking like
you're not the shit K?

635
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:33,880
Like you lost for a reason.
I was like, OK, God damn and

636
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,360
called.
So the second time when I came

637
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,280
back for rock, I had to do a
whole other interview.

638
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,840
They did their live interviews
and you know, people can watch

639
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,600
them back.
And he called me out the entire

640
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,640
interview just like, so why did
you say this about our station

641
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,280
after you lost?
And why were you yelling Boo

642
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,280
when you really?
And I just like, I was so

643
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,160
scared.
I was like, did I really do

644
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,120
that?
And that was like the humbling

645
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:57,600
moment.
At first I was so embarrassed.

646
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,280
I was so mad that he did that.
But I was like, no, you did the

647
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,360
right thing because you made me
see what I wasn't realizing I

648
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,040
was doing anyways.
And he's the one that hired me

649
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,720
to be on air talent after Rock
Girl.

650
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,080
He's the one that I contacted
when I got the job up here in

651
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,720
Green Bay.
He always has given me the best

652
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:20,040
advice and hard advice.
I don't ever want a yes, friend.

653
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,640
Those are dangerous to be around
when you're trying to make good

654
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:26,240
decisions.
But he, I mean, I would think of

655
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,360
him as like a second dad to me.
I've had his son drive me home

656
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,440
once.
Me and my friends wasted from

657
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,160
ATV from a rock show 1 so that
was fun.

658
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,360
Thanks Jake.
So I just, I just love Joe

659
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,360
Calgaro so much.
I have so much great things to

660
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,720
say about them.
That's awesome.

661
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:48,120
So I've got a classic story.
I've I've never met Joe Calgaro

662
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,080
in person, but we've exchanged
some emails.

663
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:55,520
I worked in the radio industry
for 10 years and like before I

664
00:33:55,520 --> 00:34:01,200
got my first like full time gig,
I was, I was pulling afternoons

665
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,720
as a part timer and bored up and
on weekends and stuff looking

666
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,800
for my first full time gig.
And it was sometime between

667
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,920
then.
It was either that or it was

668
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,040
when I was looking to move on
from a program director role in

669
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,040
a smaller market.
I can't remember the time frame,

670
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,960
but I remember that it was Joe
Calgaro because I, I did

671
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,960
something like it's, it's
career.

672
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,280
Everybody says do not, you know,
like don't let the job search

673
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:34,360
like get to you.
And it's super true.

674
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,760
Like it's a tedious process.
It takes forever.

675
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,440
Looking for jobs is terrible.
And it's specifically in the

676
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,199
radio industry.
It's ridiculous.

677
00:34:42,199 --> 00:34:46,400
It's like, who knows who have
you positioned yourself in blah,

678
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:51,320
blah, blah.
Well, Joe, a station that Joe

679
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:56,560
worked for had a job available
that I can't remember if I

680
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:59,960
applied for what the scenario
was, but I remember an e-mail

681
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:04,400
that I sent Joe Calgaro that I
wouldn't be surprised if he

682
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:09,640
remembers to this day because I,
and maybe not, but I said

683
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:14,920
something along the lines of
being really tired of kissing

684
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,880
ass for radio jobs.
And I sent this in an e-mail to

685
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,720
know, but somebody I never even
met before.

686
00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:24,120
That's the man to send it to.
And I was, and I was really, it

687
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,680
was really abrasive.
And it's like nothing you should

688
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,720
ever do if you really want to
get a job, because they're like,

689
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:31,160
who's this Jackass?
So you were saying that to Joe

690
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,680
to like possibly get hired from
him?

691
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,800
After, I think it was after a
like an after a non response

692
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,680
e-mail.
So then like, yeah, well, I

693
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,000
don't know.
Nice as a relative term.

694
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:48,920
It's not what you do, but
hilarious in in hindsight that I

695
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,240
thought about when I was like
researching about what to talk

696
00:35:51,240 --> 00:35:52,800
about with you and what I want
to chat about.

697
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,040
I was like, OK, one O 29 Joe
Calgaro.

698
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,080
And then I remembered this
e-mail and how I made a Jackass

699
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,880
of myself.
And like, I wonder today, or

700
00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:05,480
even I, I wonder what he thought
when he opened that e-mail,

701
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,120
right?
And being like, what is this

702
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:10,800
person doing?
Standing up for himself.

703
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,040
I guess so did he.
Reply.

704
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:17,600
I to that one, no, that's
hilarious to that he didn't

705
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:19,760
know.
And and no, no sane person

706
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,360
probably would have.
It was just discredited at that

707
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,000
moment and it was more
reflective at that moment.

708
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,720
And you know, the more I think
about this, I think it was when

709
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:34,400
I was looking to move on from my
last radio job because I was

710
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,320
really, I was in a place with
the industry that I didn't

711
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:41,240
appreciate it anymore.
So I think that was one of the

712
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,000
final straws but hilarious story
that I wonder what he thinks

713
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,560
about now.
So maybe I'll make this a real

714
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,040
and put it on social and see if
he sees.

715
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,840
That I can reach out to him and
be like, Hey, do you remember

716
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,120
these emails?
I mean, I would, and I think

717
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,440
that is my problem is I'm not
afraid of authority and I

718
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,080
probably should be and I'm so
annoying.

719
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:04,760
So I just and I have no filter.
So I really depending on who it

720
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,520
is, we'll just say what's on my
mind and it's not out of

721
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,400
ignorance.
It's just I'm not I'm trying to

722
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,840
understand something.
And as you say, like what same

723
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,920
person would reply back to an
e-mail like that?

724
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,840
I would like that's my problem
with OK, so with one O 29 the

725
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,320
hog, when I would reply to
listeners and stuff, I could be

726
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:27,720
my normal sassy self and hold
people accountable up here, like

727
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:30,960
tone it down a little bit.
Shall be a little more family

728
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,880
friendly because I I could be
sassy and not sassy like a like

729
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:39,120
a bitch, but like don't come at
me when I've done nothing but

730
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:44,600
respect to you essentially, and
I'll have people like win things

731
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,400
and just their tone is so mean.
I'm like, why?

732
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:50,560
I've never talked to you before?
Why are you emailing me,

733
00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,880
bullying me right now?
Let me do it back to you.

734
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,920
No, not really.
I'm not bullying people back,

735
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:01,640
but I'm I just, you know, you,
you let people know what you're

736
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:06,600
thinking in the best way
possible with being a little bit

737
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,320
condescending back.
Absolutely.

738
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,480
You just have to put people back
in their place because I feel

739
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,360
like in radio, people don't have
a face to you.

740
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,680
So they think they could just
say whatever they want to and

741
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,680
you're going to do it.
And I don't mess.

742
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,400
I don't play like that.
You like I'll have I'll have men

743
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,160
say the dumbest things to me.
My block list.

744
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,880
Guess how many people I have
blocked on Instagram.

745
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:33,440
Yes, give me a number. 250 Why
2000?

746
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,280
Oh, that's a good goal.
No, not not 2000.

747
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,080
It's like more in the 400 range
because I just have a 0

748
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:45,520
tolerance for any bullshit and
for whatever reason people up

749
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:49,560
here think that they can just
say whatever they want to me

750
00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,080
and.
Really, that's a different,

751
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,480
different dynamic here than it
even was in Milwaukee.

752
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,640
Yes, and I feel because in
Milwaukee I can dish it back on

753
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,560
air a little bit more and I've
I've done that here up here now

754
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,240
and people just now I've I don't
want to say train the listener,

755
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:05,840
but people just know what to
expect with me.

756
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,680
Like I'm sassy.
I'll I'll I don't let people

757
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,040
walk all over me, hugging a
banter in the best way possible.

758
00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:14,680
And men know now, like if you
come with me and something's

759
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,280
too, but I'm just going to block
you and see.

760
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:19,040
If I, if I don't know, maybe,
maybe it's a different line of

761
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,360
thought, but if I'm not, if I'm
the PD, I'm not quelling that

762
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,240
like I, I want that.
Yeah, you know, it's good.

763
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:25,360
It's fun, right?
Yeah.

764
00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,440
And Corey's such a sweet soul.
He really is.

765
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:32,600
And the first thing I said to
him when he asked me like, oh,

766
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,840
should we know anything about
you with hiring you?

767
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:37,680
And I said I'm annoying flat
out.

768
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:39,840
I literally said that in my
interview in front of all the

769
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:43,680
suits.
I said I'm annoying because I I

770
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,520
ask a lot of questions.
I want like I said, I want to do

771
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,600
everything.
I don't take any shit.

772
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,080
I don't take disrespect.
Like if I would never treat you

773
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,800
that way, I expect you to have
that same respect for me, which

774
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,520
also can hurt people.
And that goes into the saboteur.

775
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,040
Thing is you can't expect people
to treat you how you would.

776
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,480
Even if you would treat them so
nicely and you would, you would

777
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:05,440
think people would have common
sense and respect.

778
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,320
A lot of people don't.
So you have to figure out.

779
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,560
How to manage that?
Yeah, and that's hard.

780
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,280
So hard, so hard.
And the worst part about it is

781
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,760
that in that it it usually
doesn't even pre positive

782
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:20,960
intelligence, it usually doesn't
come out on the right person

783
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,320
anyway.
At least it didn't for me.

784
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,200
Like Joe didn't deserve to be on
the other end of that stick.

785
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,440
But the previous five people who
didn't respond to any

786
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,080
communication or like ghosted
after a job interview or

787
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,360
something like those people
probably deserved it.

788
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,280
Joe was probably just there on a
Tuesday.

789
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:36,200
Like what did I do?
He.

790
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,200
Probably laughed at it.
Actually, I probably read it

791
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,360
like, look at this and then, you
know, it's all at Life is such a

792
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,320
learning curve.
Everything you do, you learn

793
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,400
something from it if you want.
That's the thing, if you're open

794
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,360
to learning.
And I never want to be the

795
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:54,880
smartest person in the room.
I never want to be the best

796
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,920
person in the room.
I just want to be invited.

797
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:58,120
Well.
That's the adage, right?

798
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,120
That isn't that the adage?
If you're the smartest person in

799
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,320
the room, you're in the wrong
room.

800
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,880
I think that's what the.
Saying goes, if I'm the smartest

801
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,520
one, I'm definitely in the wrong
room.

802
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:09,200
Something is wrong.
Like now where am I?

803
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,360
I should not be here right now
unless it's with kids.

804
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,760
Like I love kids and like, I
love being that comfort for

805
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,520
kids, cool adults.
If I'm the adult in the room, I

806
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,800
don't know about that.
Yeah, I don't know.

807
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,920
Yeah, so.
So what is it like the 1015

808
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,320
years you've been in radio?
Something like?

809
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:35,160
That about 10-10 years and I I'm
very fortunate in my radio

810
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,000
career.
I I feel like I'm very blessed

811
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,200
because I don't really have bad
radio stories.

812
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,080
I don't I've never gotten fired
from a radio job.

813
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,160
I've only had two.
I've been with the hog this

814
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,840
entire time until I came up here
to Green Bay.

815
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:55,040
Now I probably didn't deserve
the hawk sometimes they I really

816
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,120
grew up with them.
I was there when I was, I

817
00:41:58,120 --> 00:41:59,760
started there when I was 20
years old.

818
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,160
They were the first people I
told I was pregnant.

819
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:06,040
Joe Cowgirl knew I was pregnant
before anyone else, before my

820
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,560
son's father, before my parents.
It was Joe that found out and we

821
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,600
were on site at the
Harley-Davidson Museum and I

822
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,200
walked up to him.
I said, Joe, I'm pregnant.

823
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,840
And he said I knew it.
He said he knew it.

824
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,320
He knew it, Yeah.
He was like, I knew it.

825
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,800
And I don't know if that was
just the dad in him, but he was

826
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:25,880
the first person I told.
I just felt the safest with Joe.

827
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,160
I don't know.
He literally was like somebody I

828
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,600
look up to and like another dad
to me.

829
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,160
And they allowed me to make
mistakes.

830
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,760
They allowed me to be dumb.
They allowed me to mess up on an

831
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,920
interview.
Oh my gosh, talk about radio

832
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,960
stories.
I remind me to tell you my

833
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:48,640
embarrassing radio stories.
But I never had to worry about

834
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,640
getting fired or layoffs
happening.

835
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:56,960
I never had to worry about, I
don't know, any abuse happening

836
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:59,720
in my job place.
Like I just worked with the best

837
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:02,440
people and the people that were
willing to work with me.

838
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:07,120
And then I became a mom and I
would bring Atlas to the studio

839
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,880
with me.
He grew up in a radio station.

840
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:15,040
And I just feel so fortunate and
coming up here to Green Bay and

841
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:17,360
working for Midwest
Communications, they're so good

842
00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,520
to me.
And it wasn't easy.

843
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,960
They went through a lot and I
just feel fortunate that I can

844
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,960
bring my son there if I need to
or they'll work with me knowing

845
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,920
I don't have friends or family
up here.

846
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:33,120
And so I can't relate to bad
radio stories.

847
00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:36,120
Just I'm the bad radio story.
It's just me.

848
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:43,280
I'm the problem sometimes.
But I, I owe everything to the

849
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,520
hog.
I really do.

850
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,960
I owe the way I grew up.
I owe my professionalism to

851
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,520
them.
I owe becoming a mother.

852
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,480
And there is a woman that works
there.

853
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:54,720
Her name is Tia.
She still works.

854
00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:59,840
So she's best, but she is the
hardest, strongest woman I know.

855
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,880
And if it wasn't for her, I
don't know how I would have been

856
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,640
able to work and be a mom.
And she was just like, give me

857
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,000
the baby.
I'll hold him.

858
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,200
Like everyone would just take
him while I was like I'm

859
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,760
meetings or something.
And I feel very blessed.

860
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:15,080
And so I, yeah, I don't have a
bad radio story, just

861
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,560
embarrassing.
That's amazing radio stories.

862
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:21,880
That's amazing and and most of
the like most of them are good.

863
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,640
You know, the the industry
itself is, is pretty solid.

864
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:30,040
It's there's, you know, there's
some bummers in it as far as

865
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:35,080
like, you know, not locally
programmed music or, you know,

866
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,440
like dial global, things like
that.

867
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,120
But whatever, like industries
change and develop.

868
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,440
There's still people doing cool
ass local radio.

869
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:46,320
That is what it's built upon.
I think my my specific scenario,

870
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,720
it was just a couple a couple
layers of poor leadership

871
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:54,080
happened where like, so this
here's a terrible radio story.

872
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,360
The, the, one of these, one of
the straws that broke the

873
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:01,280
camel's back in my radio career
was I had my like yearly review

874
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,560
or whatever talking about the
year.

875
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:06,680
And of the seven years that I
was APD and on and on air at

876
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,080
this station, 6 of them saw
revenue growth.

877
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,320
So six of the seven years of
revenue growth, it was really

878
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:14,800
good.
And I sat into a meeting and I

879
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,600
had a guy, a dude, look me right
in my eyes and say, you know,

880
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:21,040
we, we really don't do raises.
And they had just bought the

881
00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:24,000
station like 8 months previous
to this.

882
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,280
And in my head, I just remember
thinking, you know, I really

883
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:31,680
don't do work in here then, man,
you know, like I, I had, I had

884
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,080
given it my all and really done
a lot in seven years.

885
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,080
At that time it was probably
like 5 or 6 years.

886
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,440
And it is.
So it was less the industry and

887
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:46,800
it was more just the unfortunate
and it happens like smaller

888
00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:49,480
market than Green Bay.
So it was an easy, easily

889
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,920
transactionable station.
So I was there for seven years.

890
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:58,320
It was sold twice in that time
frame and the the the leadership

891
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,000
with those sales got
progressively worse.

892
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:05,720
I wonder why that is?
I think it being in a little bit

893
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:07,920
smaller market, I think it was a
books thing.

894
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,560
Looking at it, I think that's
what, and this is all conjecture

895
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,320
by me.
This is me guessing but I'm

896
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,480
guessing it was at for lack of a
better term.

897
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:21,760
It was a damn good write off and
me making more money for that

898
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:25,120
station didn't really matter so
much to them because they were

899
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,200
using it to equalize in other
places.

900
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,240
It's my guess.
I don't know.

901
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:35,080
But yeah, it's, it's certainly,
I still have a mystique about

902
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:37,800
radio because it is, it's
wonderful.

903
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,680
It's it's wonderful.
And there's a reason that I

904
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,120
started a podcast.
Like when I at that time, I was

905
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,640
done and content was done for
me.

906
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,080
Like I was, I, I was going to
work in higher education.

907
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,480
I was using my marketing skills
in a different way and I was, I

908
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:55,960
was going to leave content
behind.

909
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,840
Well, three years in, I was
like, well, I kind of want to

910
00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,600
make something, you know, So I
thought about what I loved about

911
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,200
radio and it's something you
actually said earlier.

912
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:09,080
I thought about it was a, a wild
show that I hosted.

913
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,880
So in the, in Upper Peninsula, 3
hours Direct Line to the

914
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:14,320
community.
People could call in and we

915
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,600
could talk about whatever they
wanted.

916
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,280
Amazing.
For three hours selling shit

917
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,240
community events, complaining
about their neighbor and I got

918
00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:26,360
to just talk with them.
And that was the part I missed.

919
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:34,520
Developing deep connections with
people via any type of medium.

920
00:47:36,080 --> 00:47:38,880
And that's the ultimately the
premise of the podcast.

921
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,720
So it's not like I would ever
shit on radio now because radio,

922
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:48,160
it cut my teeth into developing
as a human, much like you were

923
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:52,320
just describing.
And I, I turned into an adult

924
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,840
behind a microphone too.
You know, I, there's a, it was a

925
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,480
whole, it was a whole different
person that sent that e-mail to

926
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:03,640
Joe Calgaro than it is now.
And you know, there's, there's

927
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,240
always going to be a space for
it.

928
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,000
There's always a space for it.
And people actually like you 3

929
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:12,160
are doing it right now.
There are still pockets of

930
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:15,120
people doing it the right way
where it's community focused and

931
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,760
community driven.
There's a reason that your FM

932
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:21,840
airwaves only go for, you know,
an hour and a half drive because

933
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,240
those are the people you serve.
And you talked about them really

934
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:26,040
like, I want to be there for
them and I want to.

935
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,040
And that you have that mindset.
You can't shoot on radio.

936
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:32,440
No, it's awesome and I never
would.

937
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:36,440
And to some people, that's their
only connection to people

938
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:40,040
because they don't have family
that they trust or they don't

939
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,720
have a good life at home.
And so that small moment where

940
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:48,000
they're going to and from work
and we're able to not be

941
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,320
political, we're able to not be
so serious.

942
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,280
Sometimes you talk about serious
things, but it's relatable

943
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:54,760
things.
We're just able to give people

944
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:58,920
that laughter.
I I would do anything to give

945
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,760
that to people.
And I think that's the beautiful

946
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,080
thing about radios, you know,
we'll, we'll get the whole, oh,

947
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:06,680
nobody listens to radio or
radio's dying and blah, blah.

948
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,120
OK, that's your opinion.
That's fine.

949
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,200
But to the, to some people, it's
their one moment.

950
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,480
They get to feel something and
feel happy and feel like just a

951
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:19,040
small break.
And we're all people like we

952
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,440
live in this community.
We go to the same stores as you.

953
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:29,680
We attend the same schools or my
child and I love being able to

954
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:33,960
be relatable to moms or or
single moms because I don't have

955
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:36,520
it figured out.
I don't know what I'm doing half

956
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:40,320
the time.
I am constantly in survival mode

957
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:43,280
and I just know what that's
like.

958
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,240
And to be able to serve my
community and just bring a

959
00:49:46,240 --> 00:49:49,440
little bit of joy is fun.
And there's times where I need

960
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:51,520
them and they might not even
know it.

961
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:53,120
That's going to make me
emotional.

962
00:49:55,640 --> 00:50:00,240
There are times where I had the
hardest day, you know, like when

963
00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:04,640
am I going to pay this or Atlas?
My son had, you know, had a hard

964
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,400
day at school.
And I feel like I'm not

965
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,400
sometimes, you know, you just
feel like, am I doing enough as

966
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:13,800
a parent and am I doing enough
to do for this show?

967
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:16,520
Because you have to be on, you
know, people don't realize that.

968
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:20,480
Like you just have to be on
sometimes and you have all these

969
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:24,200
things coming at you at once and
5:15 hits and you're live.

970
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,920
Well, I'm not having the best
day, but I'll fake it till I

971
00:50:26,920 --> 00:50:29,600
make it.
And people will text in and we

972
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,440
have a lot of texters and
they're so fun and they'll just

973
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:36,200
brighten up my mood.
And they're so funny sometimes.

974
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,760
And Huggy is so great and Corey
is great.

975
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,200
And they know me better than
anybody.

976
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,800
And they see the things behind
the scenes that I don't talk

977
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,800
about, that I don't see.
And there there's times where

978
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:50,000
we're in a commercial or a song
and I'm bawling my eyes out and

979
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:51,200
then he's like, all right, 10
seconds.

980
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:54,960
I'm like, OK, and hug.
He's like, it's fine, you know,

981
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,600
like nose count on him for like
that, that relief.

982
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,240
And I'm like, OK, I got this.
And it's then we'll like talk

983
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:04,360
about a funny topic and it's as
much as they need us, like we

984
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,880
need them.
And that is the beautiful thing

985
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,960
again, about connection and
radio.

986
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,000
And I can talk about it all day.
I really can yap about it all

987
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,480
day of how it's just a it's a
lifesaver.

988
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:18,480
And when you talk about
relatable things, like 2 days

989
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,160
ago, I talked about how even if
you just got up and showered

990
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:24,120
today, you should be proud of
yourself because that's hard to

991
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,800
do for people.
That's hard for me to do

992
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,840
sometimes.
And I think people have this

993
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:33,840
misconception of me sometimes of
you're a young girl or I've

994
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:37,680
heard you have pretty privilege
or you have, you've done all

995
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,840
these things, you've got to go
to all these places.

996
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,640
That's not who I am though.
That's not my story.

997
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,960
Like I'm, I still have feelings.
I've had a really rough

998
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,520
childhood.
I've had to grow up very fast.

999
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,440
I've had to figure out parenting
on my own, you know, and I'm not

1000
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:59,000
whining or playing victim.
It's just I'm more relatable

1001
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:04,040
than you probably think.
I just cautiously put that out

1002
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,080
there.
And when I do put that out

1003
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,240
there, it's so crazy.
We'll have, like, hundreds of

1004
00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:13,760
people text us all at the same
time with the same stories.

1005
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:17,320
And it's just sometimes just,
like, look to the person next to

1006
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,040
you and realize, like, they
could be having it worse than

1007
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:21,760
you right now and you have no
idea.

1008
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:25,880
Just be a little bit kinder to
people and understanding and

1009
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:28,200
empathetic.
Just don't be dumb and don't let

1010
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:30,560
people walk over you.
And that's a hard balance to

1011
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:34,480
have.
So we're going to get out.

1012
00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,440
Yeah, don't say that about my
job a lot.

1013
00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:44,640
Well, it's so true though, and
I, so I 100% with everything you

1014
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:47,760
said.
And I think there's this weird,

1015
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,400
it's not really weird.
It's there's this dynamic

1016
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:58,960
between being on because that's
a very real thing being on and

1017
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,640
that perception that you were
talking about that others

1018
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:07,800
develop of you because
inherently with being on comes

1019
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,400
positivity.
Like that's what being on means.

1020
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,000
You are you're you're there to
you're, you're the ringleader.

1021
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,440
You're there to lead the circus
and.

1022
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:18,400
And we're a circus.
Oh hell yeah.

1023
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:23,000
Yeah.
And when you crack the mic, you

1024
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,960
are there to do that.
You're there to do a job.

1025
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:30,560
And that's what being on means,
yes, but that in turn, it's a

1026
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,480
lot like, it's a lot like
actually just approaching life

1027
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,520
with a positive frame of mind.
A lot of times when you do that,

1028
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,000
it's something that I think it's
one of my core strengths is that

1029
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,880
I look, glass is half full for
me, You know, glass is half

1030
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,200
full.
Life is cool.

1031
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:44,800
I'm glad to be here.
I'm going to figure this shit

1032
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:48,440
out.
That doesn't mean that the

1033
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:52,400
opposite side isn't in my brain.
That doesn't mean that damn,

1034
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,840
today's been brutal or something
like that.

1035
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:58,760
It's not what it means at all.
But when you go in every day and

1036
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:03,160
you be on and you do what you do
and you give yourself to the

1037
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:06,680
people that are listening, it's
very easy for them.

1038
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,560
After they see 203 hundred, 405
hundred days in a row of

1039
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:14,920
positive, funny Natalie behind
the mic, that all my life's

1040
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,000
perfect for Natalie and shit's
going so good.

1041
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,240
She's got pretty privilege.
Like, I wish I was in those

1042
00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:21,080
seats.
Yep.

1043
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:24,800
They don't know the other 22
hours of your day.

1044
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:32,080
Right, They don't, Not at all.
And I really loathe the term.

1045
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:37,840
Pretty privilege.
I think it's so imposter almost

1046
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:38,880
I.
Don't think I've ever heard that

1047
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:40,840
term, is it?
It's like a social media thing.

1048
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,240
Sounds like, yeah, yeah, I've
had.

1049
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,280
I never heard it until I came up
here, to be honest.

1050
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,840
And I've had multiple men and
women say it to me and I'm like,

1051
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:53,160
I don't know what that means.
And I think it's almost because

1052
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:57,280
like, I don't think I'm that
like I've had a lot of like body

1053
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,120
dysmorphia.
I've diagnosed with body

1054
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,640
dysmorphia.
I have scars all on the right

1055
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:04,680
side of my face from when I was
attacked by a dog when I was 2.

1056
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:08,240
So like, I don't see them.
I don't see me how they must see

1057
00:55:08,240 --> 00:55:09,720
me.
So it's really hard for me to

1058
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,520
connect in that way.
And I'm, I'm not ignorant to it,

1059
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:17,960
but I just, I fake it till I
make it, you know, and on air we

1060
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:19,360
always say, oh, Natalie, you're
a catfish.

1061
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:23,120
Because I hate doing my makeup.
I hate getting pretty.

1062
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,680
I hate looking for zeniful.
Sometimes I just love being that

1063
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,480
mom with a messy bun and just
going about my day.

1064
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:35,840
And I just let people be, you
know, let people be who they are

1065
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,600
and how they are and maybe ask a
question, maybe ask me

1066
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,360
something.
If you are mad about something

1067
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,200
or you don't understand
something, you're going to ask

1068
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,600
me.
I'll tell you honestly, you

1069
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,760
might not like my answer or you
might really relate to my

1070
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:53,920
answer.
And more.

1071
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:59,040
I feel like more women need to
have each other's back more and

1072
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,920
not be so against one another.
And I like to think that I bring

1073
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:07,080
that on my show a lot where I
love the women that listen.

1074
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:09,960
I'm rooting for the moms
constantly.

1075
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:13,400
I'm rooting for the wives
constantly or the married single

1076
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,480
moms, you know, like I'm just, I
want our show to be a safe

1077
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:18,120
space.
And there have been times, I'm

1078
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:22,640
not kidding you, where people
will text us in these the

1079
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,440
saddest stories.
Obviously we don't say them on

1080
00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,720
air, but I'm and I'm they're
having conversations, texting

1081
00:56:28,720 --> 00:56:31,040
them right back for like an hour
of the show.

1082
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,080
And that's something a lot of
people don't know.

1083
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:38,880
And it goes back to that
community radio is so much more

1084
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,760
and so there for you more than
anybody could ever imagine,

1085
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:44,640
because we're in it with you A.
100% we're.

1086
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,200
In it with you.
Let's just do it together, you

1087
00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:51,240
know, there's no need to be
sassy or meaner.

1088
00:56:51,240 --> 00:56:54,760
I don't know.
But that's just that's this day

1089
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,640
and age.
People are brave.

1090
00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,520
Yeah, to a fault.
A lot to a fault, right?

1091
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,680
There's so much in there that we
could talk about.

1092
00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,520
There's so much in there.
There's.

1093
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,440
And I ramble a lot, I'm sorry
me.

1094
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:07,280
Too.
Me too.

1095
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:08,680
I'm.
Such a rambler.

1096
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,480
And I'll go to little squirrel
territories and find these

1097
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:15,520
little rabbit holes.
I'm on this tree and that tree

1098
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,240
and then like something from
what I just said reminded me of

1099
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,120
this and and then I look at you
and I'm like, oh, how long have

1100
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,880
I been talking?
Sorry, like while hugging Corey.

1101
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,040
They can just cut me off.
They know when I'm squirreling.

1102
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:29,400
It's also good, though, that's
what long form's about.

1103
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:32,120
That's what that's why I
appreciate this and that hell,

1104
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:35,560
that's why I started the podcast
because I think like, you know,

1105
00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:40,520
the more it humanizes it.
If someone, if someone like

1106
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,360
those people sending you those
messages, if they listen to

1107
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,480
this, if they spend an hour of
their time and listen to this

1108
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,800
episode, it's going to change
the messages they sent not to

1109
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,440
you, to everybody, because
they're going to be like, wait a

1110
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,080
second.
That is a human behind the

1111
00:57:55,080 --> 00:58:00,240
microphone and that is, and you
know that I think that's where

1112
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:03,400
empathy is born from sometimes.
We could, most of us could use a

1113
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:07,360
little bit more empathy in our
lives. 1000% empathy,

1114
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,120
understanding, but also
encouraging.

1115
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,080
Like don't let people sit in
their sadness.

1116
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:15,760
Don't allow people to tell you
why they're so sad.

1117
00:58:15,760 --> 00:58:18,480
And you say oh it's going to be
OK, Stop saying it's going to be

1118
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:19,920
OK.
It's not OK.

1119
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:21,680
So what are we going to do to
make it OK?

1120
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,040
Make it actionable.
Yes.

1121
00:58:23,040 --> 00:58:27,480
And I think it's such a crutch
to just say, I think saying it's

1122
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,040
going to be OK is almost
dismissive.

1123
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,000
Oh yeah, for sure.
Very.

1124
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:35,880
Dismissive it's going to be OK.
I'm no how?

1125
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,760
How is it going to be?
OK, it might be OK, but how?

1126
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:41,640
Absolutely.
And I think, you know, thinking

1127
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:46,120
about what you were just saying
there about being on the

1128
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:50,320
positivity and then some of the
blowback there, I guess you

1129
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:51,560
could call it that can come from
that.

1130
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:56,720
It helped me a lot or it got me
to a point realizing that 9

1131
00:58:56,720 --> 00:58:59,920
times out of 10, probably 99
times out of 100, when people

1132
00:58:59,920 --> 00:59:03,880
are spewing that stuff into the
world, it has nothing to do with

1133
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,240
you.
It is coming from they haven't

1134
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:08,320
done the work that we started
talking about the beginning of

1135
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,280
this thing.
So if they're looking at you on

1136
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:13,360
this pedicle still about being
happy everyday blah blah blah,

1137
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,800
they're only attacking you
because they are not happy

1138
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,600
everyday, right.
So making it actionable.

1139
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:23,280
Let's figure that out.
Why are you not happy everyday?

1140
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,880
And that comes out in different
ways and people and there's, I

1141
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:28,280
don't know if it directly ties
in, but I have this thing coming

1142
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:32,560
across my brain right now that I
don't know that I've ever fully

1143
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:34,040
reflected on and thought about
enough.

1144
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:37,480
But they're at that same radio
job.

1145
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:44,000
There was this dude who was an
avid listener and I remember

1146
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,280
vividly him meeting me for the
first time and he did what they

1147
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,920
all do, introduce himself.
Big fan, love what you do, blah,

1148
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,320
blah, blah.
And it was one of those days

1149
00:59:52,320 --> 00:59:57,160
where my day had kind of been
shit and he didn't know that and

1150
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:59,400
and he didn't have to know that.
He shouldn't have had to know

1151
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,120
that.
I should have turned it off and

1152
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:05,160
I should have been on because
this dude appreciated what I did

1153
01:00:05,320 --> 01:00:09,720
and he liked it and he like it.
Regardless of who it is, it

1154
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:11,680
means a lot when someone comes
up to you and says that they

1155
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:14,720
appreciate what you do.
If it's radio, if it's making

1156
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,520
widgets, if it's delivering the
mail, if people appreciate what

1157
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:20,800
you do, it means a lot when they
tell you and I.

1158
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:24,240
Like, to think I did a really
good job of not taking that for

1159
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:28,680
granted most of the time.
This guy took it for granted.

1160
01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:32,960
I wasn't, I didn't do anything
bad or mean or anything.

1161
01:00:32,960 --> 01:00:36,120
I just didn't embrace the
conversation how I normally

1162
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:37,800
would have.
I think I was probably a little

1163
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,400
bit like shut down, dismissive.
Yeah, maybe a little bit

1164
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:45,080
dismissive, yeah.
And I didn't embrace that

1165
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:46,560
situation how I almost always
did.

1166
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,960
And it was, I can't remember how
long after, but it was a short

1167
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,480
time after that he ended up
dying.

1168
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:57,560
And from what I remember, I
don't know all the details of

1169
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:02,920
it, but there's some like
cloudiness around if it was by

1170
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:04,560
his own hand or not.
Yeah.

1171
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:10,200
And like I think about that
scenario, you know, and I think

1172
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:12,040
about what part?
If you would have gave up,

1173
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:14,880
played in, yeah.
You know, and certainly it

1174
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:19,480
wasn't just me, but could I,
could I have changed the

1175
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:23,320
direction if I would have acted
the way I almost always did

1176
01:01:23,320 --> 01:01:25,200
otherwise?
Because back to the golden

1177
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:26,440
retriever thing.
That's kind of me.

1178
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,920
I'm just but we.
Can't one off day.

1179
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:33,320
Yes, that one thing where it was
a long day, I was at a place and

1180
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,520
like I had already had a couple
of these conversations.

1181
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:36,840
It was a really crowded
building.

1182
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:39,440
And you know what it's like when
everybody you walk in and

1183
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:41,800
everybody like looks at you and
then people start talking.

1184
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:43,880
They're like, oh, that's this
person from this, if that's this

1185
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:49,200
person and I think about it, I
like to this day, I think about

1186
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:55,200
that dude and like, man, did he
like lay down in that road and

1187
01:01:55,200 --> 01:02:01,080
like, could I have adjusted
anything Like not that I would

1188
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,440
have been in the only case, but
was I the straw?

1189
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:08,120
Was I the straw for him that he
let like hell he probably listen

1190
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:11,360
to me for three hours a day for
years and years and then like

1191
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:15,600
was pumped up and then we talked
and then it didn't go how he

1192
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:18,800
would have liked it or it wasn't
like it wasn't the on it.

1193
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,360
Wasn't the odd moment, you know,
it's so interesting that you say

1194
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:25,800
that I had somebody really close
to me say you can't think about

1195
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,680
the what ifs.
And it's almost like a universal

1196
01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:32,160
moment for you in your butterfly
effect, right?

1197
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:38,160
Where that moment for you might
have led to you to never be that

1198
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:42,440
straw for someone ever again.
If you think about it, you that

1199
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:45,120
moment and you don't know, you
don't know if that was that

1200
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:47,920
moment.
And it's hard to put that on

1201
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,440
you.
You know that's going to be

1202
01:02:49,520 --> 01:02:52,600
that's on your conscience,
obviously, for it's been for a

1203
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:58,200
while and that's OK.
But I bet every time you meet

1204
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:02,920
someone, you, you might think
about that and subconsciously

1205
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,160
now like that might be one of
your saboteurs.

1206
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,800
Is this unconscious?
Like was I the straw for this

1207
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,720
man?
And I was his last hope to have

1208
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,760
someone be nice to him and I
wasn't.

1209
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,320
And that is hard to have on your
conscious.

1210
01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:19,000
And I hope that you're able to
know like you did not 'cause

1211
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,960
that man to do whatever it was
that he did.

1212
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:25,960
But you are the cause moving
forward to be great for who you

1213
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:29,000
meet, for whatever you meet.
And even if somebody comes up to

1214
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:32,080
you and says, I love your
podcast, you, you might

1215
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,240
subconsciously think of that
moment be like this person might

1216
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,320
need me right now to be nice to
him.

1217
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:40,360
And I feel you for that.
Because there have been times

1218
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:45,120
where I've been in the Piggly
Wiggly parking lot crying my

1219
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:48,680
eyes out, put my sunglasses on
going and someone says, Natalie,

1220
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:52,840
I, I listen to your show and I
never want to be.

1221
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:55,640
I never want them to see my
struggle.

1222
01:03:55,640 --> 01:04:01,520
And I think that's just like the
protection of myself and but,

1223
01:04:01,520 --> 01:04:04,800
but how do you determine that?
You know, how do you gauge that?

1224
01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:07,120
It's so hard.
You can smile and say, Hey, how

1225
01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,080
are you?
And hug them.

1226
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:12,640
And maybe they, they were my
camel, but didn't, I didn't

1227
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:14,400
break, you know, because they
were so nice to me.

1228
01:04:14,400 --> 01:04:18,920
And that I think it's so we're
such interesting people, people

1229
01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:22,280
that have been in radio, I like
to think because we're so we

1230
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:27,080
read people differently.
I like to think and we handle

1231
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:30,200
our emotions differently because
we have to be on and sometimes

1232
01:04:30,200 --> 01:04:35,000
we just have that one day, but
we can't sit in the what ifs,

1233
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,640
even though we can make a ton of
different scenarios.

1234
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,960
You just can't sit in that what
ifs because it will drive you

1235
01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:44,280
mad.
But you can sit in the what

1236
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:48,160
happens next instead of the what
if, OK, what happens next?

1237
01:04:48,160 --> 01:04:52,680
What happens now?
So I like to try and retrain my

1238
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:59,320
brain for that.
I guess being a little

1239
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:07,960
vulnerable, I had a situation
where should I say this will be

1240
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:12,080
relatable right now, not the
camel that stroke or that broke

1241
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,040
the camel's back, the straw that
broke the camel's back.

1242
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:20,000
Now I'm flustered.
So I had, I'm going to keep this

1243
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,200
short.
I'm not going to go into detail

1244
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:23,520
with it.
I was supposed to go to a

1245
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,240
funeral for one of my childhood
best friends ended up passing

1246
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:32,200
away and I was getting
everything ready.

1247
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:37,520
And the person who was the love
of my life, he was like, do you

1248
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:41,120
want to go on a motorcycle ride
to clear your mind?

1249
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,640
And I said no.
Like, I just want to get

1250
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,760
everything ready for the funeral
tomorrow.

1251
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:50,440
He was attending with me.
My best friend was going and I

1252
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:54,040
said no, I'm sorry, but maybe
we'll do another right and he'll

1253
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:55,680
like we'll have plenty.
He said we'll have plenty of

1254
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:59,160
time to ride in.
Two hours later he got killed on

1255
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:02,880
his motorcycle.
And I think I was I used to

1256
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:05,800
think all the time, what if I
would have said yes, What if we

1257
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:06,960
would have went a different
route?

1258
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:11,960
And it I mean something in my
nervous system died that day and

1259
01:06:11,960 --> 01:06:15,440
I've never gotten it back.
And now I think, OK, I can't

1260
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:19,840
think of what if because I, I
did not 'cause that accident.

1261
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,920
I did not 'cause that old man to
hit him on his motorcycle.

1262
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:28,520
I did not 'cause his injuries
and having to really do that

1263
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:31,520
deep dig and dive.
And just like I almost had to

1264
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:37,960
kill my mind to rebuild it again
and say, OK, now I'm able to

1265
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:39,800
feel that and go through the
worst part.

1266
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:42,760
So now I know how to help others
that have gone through that what

1267
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:45,120
if scenario and say, OK, it's
not you.

1268
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:51,080
And I'm I, I have to look at the
positive of that and think, OK,

1269
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:54,400
I'm grateful for this experience
because I can help others now

1270
01:06:54,840 --> 01:06:58,200
and not getting into that mind
rut because that can that could

1271
01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:04,600
cause you to get in that rut and
you might not lay in the road

1272
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,040
and it's that cycle.
So you need someone that can be

1273
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,320
like, stop.
You did not 'cause that you

1274
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,560
might think you added to it, but
you don't know.

1275
01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:20,400
You don't know and you have to
just sit with it, sit with that

1276
01:07:20,400 --> 01:07:23,440
discomfort, work through it.
You have to work through your

1277
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:24,720
emotions.
You can't bury them.

1278
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:27,320
I know you didn't do it.
Don't think of what it was,

1279
01:07:27,320 --> 01:07:32,320
Think of what now.
Yeah, it's absolutely that when

1280
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:36,040
you try, it's tremendous weight
to bear and we can only carry so

1281
01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:37,800
much.
There was a person close to me

1282
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:43,720
in my life one time whose
parents she felt some of that

1283
01:07:44,080 --> 01:07:47,080
very similar weight to to what
you're talking about.

1284
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:51,160
And I hope today she's worked
through it.

1285
01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:56,040
She she hadn't.
That's a big weight, man.

1286
01:07:56,480 --> 01:08:00,040
It's, it's really heavy and
people will never understand

1287
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:02,800
that weight unless they
experience it truly.

1288
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:06,000
And grief I think is such a
powerful thing.

1289
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:10,320
People can grieve artists,
people can grieve their mom,

1290
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:12,400
their dad, their aunts and
uncles.

1291
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:14,360
And everyone grieves so
differently.

1292
01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:21,120
So you have grieved this man for
a while and you might forever

1293
01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:23,920
grieve him because you don't
know the ending of the story.

1294
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:29,880
And that's heavy so, but you can
write your own story with that.

1295
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,080
And that's healing in itself,
right?

1296
01:08:32,080 --> 01:08:38,040
So I almost would encourage you
to journal it because read,

1297
01:08:38,399 --> 01:08:42,120
write, recite.
It's, it's so healing when you

1298
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:44,240
can write it out.
It might be all scrambled in

1299
01:08:44,240 --> 01:08:47,000
your even if you write in this
corner and then this corner or

1300
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,399
on this page, get it out the way
it's scrambled in your mind.

1301
01:08:50,600 --> 01:08:52,240
It doesn't have to be a perfect
paragraph.

1302
01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:54,160
Screw that.
This is your own entry, but it

1303
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:57,080
might help.
Yeah, I do Manifestation

1304
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:58,000
Journal.
I like that.

1305
01:08:58,319 --> 01:09:01,720
I dig that.
Yeah, luckily in this scenario,

1306
01:09:03,160 --> 01:09:10,359
I like I've I really quickly as
I thought about it, knew I

1307
01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:13,840
wasn't the 'cause it was more of
like it's almost a positive

1308
01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:17,800
saboteur because now it's like,
OK, be on for 5 minutes for that

1309
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:20,479
person and then go back to your
shit day or whatever it is.

1310
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:23,760
Like just be on for that person.
Because that's the lens I looked

1311
01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:26,680
at it through.
It's like, could I have changed

1312
01:09:26,680 --> 01:09:28,399
it?
That's the thing.

1313
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:31,880
And that way one, luckily for
me, that takes some of that

1314
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:34,240
weight off, right?
Because like, I wasn't looking

1315
01:09:34,240 --> 01:09:37,640
at it like I was the cause,
which is when it gets really

1316
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:40,520
debilitating and heavy.
If, if, if it would have

1317
01:09:40,520 --> 01:09:43,760
happened when he left that
place, I would have we'd be

1318
01:09:43,760 --> 01:09:45,600
talking about this in a whole
different way.

1319
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:49,279
You know, at least it was time
and other things.

1320
01:09:49,279 --> 01:09:55,560
But but yeah, that's a really
deep and reflective way to look

1321
01:09:55,560 --> 01:09:57,760
at it.
And I think about artists that

1322
01:09:57,760 --> 01:10:01,960
deal with that every day.
You think about it, and I only

1323
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,320
say this because I've seen it.
I lived it in my radio career.

1324
01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:08,640
You've met artists, and I'm sure
you've seen this, where fans

1325
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:10,600
will come up to them and say you
saved my life.

1326
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:15,320
And you think of how many fans
that you have saved their lives.

1327
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:17,600
And they're constantly trauma
dumping on you.

1328
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:21,480
And for them, they're meeting
you for 5 minutes, but you're

1329
01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:25,920
meeting a lot of them years
after years after years.

1330
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:27,920
And it, it can get heavy on
people.

1331
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:33,360
And I just, I so respect artists
for how they managed to make

1332
01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:37,800
people feel seen and heard.
And I'm grateful to be friends

1333
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:40,160
and experience those.
And there are some artists that

1334
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:43,280
just don't give a fuck, and
that's sad to see.

1335
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:46,800
Those are the what ifers I like
to say.

1336
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:48,920
The what ifers?
The what ifers?

1337
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:50,200
Yeah.
Like, what if you would have

1338
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:52,080
just been nice to your fan for a
little bit?

1339
01:10:52,120 --> 01:10:54,080
What if you would have just
taken them seriously?

1340
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:58,080
You know that in that way, in
that what if?

1341
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,520
I don't know?
Artists are so interesting to

1342
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:02,000
me.
It's hard to put yourself in the

1343
01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:05,280
shoes.
Like it's, I mean, it's easy to

1344
01:11:05,280 --> 01:11:10,320
get jaded, I'm sure.
And like, I think some of it

1345
01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:14,960
probably ends up stemming from
like those people constantly get

1346
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:23,920
used, you know, and maybe it
maybe it becomes harder to

1347
01:11:23,920 --> 01:11:30,640
distinguish authentic humanity
versus humanity truly trying to

1348
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:33,200
connect and search for
something, you know, But you're

1349
01:11:33,200 --> 01:11:35,440
exactly right.
Grief works in so many different

1350
01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:38,760
ways in that like, so I've got I
got Tom Petty lyrics tattooed on

1351
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,920
me and I cried when Tom Petty
died.

1352
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:43,800
I didn't know Tom Petty.
The grief was inward, though,

1353
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:48,800
because his words had shaped my
life in certain ways.

1354
01:11:49,240 --> 01:11:52,480
And yeah, that would have been
cool to tell him that at one

1355
01:11:52,480 --> 01:11:53,920
time.
And if I ever would have had the

1356
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:55,920
chance, it would have been
authentic.

1357
01:11:57,640 --> 01:12:00,160
There's probably 10 other
scenarios where people got to

1358
01:12:00,160 --> 01:12:03,720
meet Tom Petty that approached
him with a similar type story

1359
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:06,000
that maybe even sometimes was
fabricated or something because

1360
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:08,520
they were looking for a
signature or a cool picture to

1361
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,920
boost their social media profile
or something.

1362
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:12,560
So I don't.
Know the repeaters?

1363
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:15,040
Almost.
What I mean by that is now that

1364
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:19,800
we have social media, if a
artist does something for a fan

1365
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:23,120
that's right up in front because
of their sign, you'll see that

1366
01:12:23,120 --> 01:12:26,840
now other people are going to
have the same sign but don't

1367
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:29,080
have any relation to it.
They just want that moment with

1368
01:12:29,080 --> 01:12:33,640
that artist, which is so unfair.
And people that bait their kids.

1369
01:12:34,360 --> 01:12:39,960
I hate seeing people bait their
kids like you're I'll see like a

1370
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:42,120
5 year old with a sign.
I've waited my whole life to see

1371
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:43,880
this band.
You're 5.

1372
01:12:44,280 --> 01:12:46,600
You just learned what words are.
What do you mean?

1373
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:48,840
And it's especially at rock
shows.

1374
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:52,360
I'm just like, why is your child
in the front row of a rock show

1375
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:56,840
when there's crowd surfing?
And I would never, but I'm not

1376
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:58,200
here to teach anybody how to
parent.

1377
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:02,920
I just see it from, you know,
side stage and see how dangerous

1378
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:05,640
it could be.
People literally rush rails and

1379
01:13:05,640 --> 01:13:07,760
you could your kids can break
their bones.

1380
01:13:07,760 --> 01:13:10,040
So I don't know, that's another
thing got.

1381
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:12,040
A kick ass story about this from
recently.

1382
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:17,120
I went to Eric Church at the
Resch Center and I saw one of

1383
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:20,600
the most beautiful concert
moments I've ever seen there.

1384
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:23,720
It's the antithesis of what
you're talking about.

1385
01:13:25,360 --> 01:13:28,440
There was a dad and a daughter
there.

1386
01:13:28,440 --> 01:13:30,800
The daughter was in that age
range maybe.

1387
01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:35,200
She was certainly less than 10.
I would guess like 5 to 7

1388
01:13:35,320 --> 01:13:39,600
something like that.
And she clearly knew she clearly

1389
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:42,320
loved Eric Church because she
sang every single word of every

1390
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:45,280
single song.
But the best part about it?

1391
01:13:45,280 --> 01:13:47,320
This might make me cry just as a
a parent.

1392
01:13:47,320 --> 01:13:50,320
That's.
OK, but it was so awesome.

1393
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:55,000
They were in the front row like
you're talking about, and she

1394
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,120
wasn't even watching the
concert.

1395
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:01,080
She was spun around talking with
her dad, like singing the songs

1396
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,480
to him.
Oh yeah, that's precious.

1397
01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:05,080
Soul killer.
Yeah, Soul killer.

1398
01:14:05,120 --> 01:14:07,240
Eric Church versus Like a
Turnstile show.

1399
01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:08,440
Definitely very different.
Yeah.

1400
01:14:08,440 --> 01:14:09,320
Oh yeah.
So.

1401
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:12,080
That's what I'm talking about.
Like, so bring your five year

1402
01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:13,560
old to a front row of a
turnstile show.

1403
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:17,520
That's what I'm talking about.
But Eric Church, that is safer.

1404
01:14:17,840 --> 01:14:20,200
But like, yeah, 100% super
agreed.

1405
01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:26,400
But the concept of that like as
as a parent yearn for that, you

1406
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:30,440
know, like that is not that's
the person that oh, if if he

1407
01:14:30,440 --> 01:14:34,200
would have seen that, that's the
person that the artists, you

1408
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:36,960
know, if they have the energy
and the bandwidth to come up and

1409
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:41,120
say here, like enjoy this sign a
boot or whatever.

1410
01:14:41,120 --> 01:14:43,720
Instead of like that's a thing
at his concert, everybody throws

1411
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:47,640
up their boots to sign.
That was just such a like

1412
01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:52,560
beautiful thing to to witness.
And that's the dichotomy, right?

1413
01:14:52,920 --> 01:14:56,000
Those two things.
How do you navigate through that

1414
01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,800
when you're Post Malone?
How do you navigate through that

1415
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,200
when you're Tom Petty?
Like you don't have time.

1416
01:15:02,200 --> 01:15:05,320
You can't make it a split second
in three minute interaction.

1417
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:06,960
You can't tell if someone's
genuine or not.

1418
01:15:07,480 --> 01:15:14,920
So that's why I try to, you
know, not distance myself from

1419
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:18,000
it, but I try to like, I guess
come from a place of empathy.

1420
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,960
Like we were talking earlier.
It's funny.

1421
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:24,200
Another funny story, my wife was
a while back, there was some

1422
01:15:24,200 --> 01:15:27,200
people when the draft was in
Green Bay, there's some people

1423
01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:30,160
that we saw at Cafe Con Crema
that were from a podcast.

1424
01:15:30,160 --> 01:15:33,080
I know.
And I didn't tell my wife until

1425
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:35,080
we left.
And they were like sitting in

1426
01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:38,400
the waiting area as we left.
And I was like, he, he actually

1427
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:40,640
opened the door for my family,
which I thought was super cool.

1428
01:15:41,440 --> 01:15:44,480
And it was Channing Crowder.
And we got to the car and I was

1429
01:15:44,480 --> 01:15:46,040
like, that was Channing Crowder.
I love their podcast.

1430
01:15:46,040 --> 01:15:49,040
She was like, why didn't you ask
him for a picture and like put

1431
01:15:49,040 --> 01:15:52,760
it on Instagram and, and do it.
And it's because of this thing

1432
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:55,200
that we're talking about.
I'm really uncomfortable asking

1433
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:58,160
people for pictures or
autographs or anything like that

1434
01:15:58,640 --> 01:16:01,120
because like, yeah, I dig their
podcast.

1435
01:16:01,120 --> 01:16:04,160
I dig what they do, but they
probably get 1000 times a day.

1436
01:16:04,160 --> 01:16:09,440
And am I really like, I don't
want, you know, I don't, I don't

1437
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:10,640
know how it's going to be
perceived.

1438
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,200
So I just don't do.
It or rejection right another

1439
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,440
thing is that like I'm terrified
of that so I just don't put

1440
01:16:16,440 --> 01:16:22,000
myself in that situation yeah
yeah, but I, I don't know I, I

1441
01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:26,160
was a lot braver in my 20s to
asking for things like that I

1442
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:29,200
was a lot braver well.
Because it can be really good

1443
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:31,120
too, right?
It can be good to ask for things

1444
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,880
and well, go back and you said
advocate for yourself earlier.

1445
01:16:33,880 --> 01:16:36,480
Like all that stuff.
It's good to say what you're

1446
01:16:36,480 --> 01:16:39,040
thinking and, and everything
and, and we shouldn't have to

1447
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:42,200
put that through the lens of
what the rest of that person has

1448
01:16:42,200 --> 01:16:44,920
experienced to do it.
But it's just a human thing, you

1449
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:46,320
know?
It is a human thing.

1450
01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:49,680
I don't know.
And it's so interesting to me

1451
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:52,360
too, because I don't think I'm
anything right.

1452
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:56,160
Like I'm, I'm not, I don't think
of myself as a celebrity.

1453
01:16:56,160 --> 01:17:01,000
I I'm just a mom that talks like
that's how I see myself truly.

1454
01:17:01,440 --> 01:17:05,440
And I'll meet some of these
people that I am the coolest

1455
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:07,160
thing to them.
And I think in my head, why?

1456
01:17:07,280 --> 01:17:11,400
Why?
But then I think this might be

1457
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:13,920
their moment, right?
This might be the moment where,

1458
01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:19,640
you know, they have their nine
to five job, they work, they do

1459
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:21,520
well for themselves or hard
working.

1460
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:24,360
And this is like a cool
experience for them.

1461
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:26,960
Who am I to take that away from
them, right?

1462
01:17:27,480 --> 01:17:32,040
And who am I to do that?
So I don't know, I embrace it.

1463
01:17:32,040 --> 01:17:34,160
I have fun.
I'll sit and talk to somebody as

1464
01:17:34,160 --> 01:17:36,480
long as they want to talk to me.
Kind of like the Disney hug

1465
01:17:36,480 --> 01:17:37,400
thing.
Do you know what that's all

1466
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:39,960
about?
So like Disney characters, they

1467
01:17:39,960 --> 01:17:42,880
will not let go unless you let
go.

1468
01:17:43,480 --> 01:17:48,560
And I thought that was such an
interesting characteristic,

1469
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,040
right?
So you go up to a Disney

1470
01:17:50,040 --> 01:17:52,800
character, you hug them, and
they'll hug you as long as they

1471
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:55,360
want until you let go.
Then they let go.

1472
01:17:55,600 --> 01:17:57,120
And that's how I feel with my
listeners.

1473
01:17:57,360 --> 01:17:59,480
As long as they want to talk to
me, I will sit and have a

1474
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:02,840
conversation with you because I
don't know what your day is like

1475
01:18:02,840 --> 01:18:04,280
and maybe you need this
conversation.

1476
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:08,600
Maybe I can be that glimmer for
you in this day because I know

1477
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:11,440
what that's like where I just
needed someone without saying

1478
01:18:11,440 --> 01:18:13,760
it.
Say we sit with them.

1479
01:18:13,840 --> 01:18:16,920
That's so awesome.
So I'd I've never heard it

1480
01:18:16,920 --> 01:18:19,280
called the Disney hug.
My wife and I do that with our

1481
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:22,840
son, though, and my wife's a
huge Disney fan, so I wonder if

1482
01:18:22,840 --> 01:18:25,440
this is veiled.
Like she, she got me to do this

1483
01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:26,840
because of it.
It's a Disney thing.

1484
01:18:26,840 --> 01:18:29,920
But yeah, I've been cognizant of
that since day one because the

1485
01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:33,840
hugs are going to get shorter
and less frequent, so I'm

1486
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:35,400
holding.
Until he let's go, I.

1487
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:38,280
Didn't know it was a Disney
thing though, that's awesome.

1488
01:18:39,200 --> 01:18:44,400
Yeah, and I don't know, maybe I,
I with parents, it might be

1489
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:45,920
different.
Like we just love hugging our

1490
01:18:45,920 --> 01:18:51,440
kids and we're so self selfish
with them that I I made you, I

1491
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:56,760
made this these arms like yes,
please hold me, stay here.

1492
01:18:57,280 --> 01:18:59,200
Oh my gosh, I don't care.
I don't care.

1493
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:02,760
I love my baby so much.
I and he'll always be my baby,

1494
01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:05,600
right?
Even when he's 18 or 21 or

1495
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:07,960
getting married, like, oh, I'm
going to be a wreck.

1496
01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:10,320
When he gets married going to be
a wreck.

1497
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:14,040
Yeah, that's one thing I'm
navigating through with

1498
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,800
parenthood.
I like, I'm, I'm, I'm

1499
01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:20,280
unapologetically emotional.
Like I, I like feeling.

1500
01:19:20,280 --> 01:19:22,920
That's what makes it worth being
here is I like feeling things,

1501
01:19:22,920 --> 01:19:24,800
positive, negative, everything.
I like feeling it.

1502
01:19:25,400 --> 01:19:28,800
And like his for he's in 3K
right now.

1503
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:31,200
So his first day of school, I
didn't do that.

1504
01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:34,360
I didn't do the drop off.
But like the day before the like

1505
01:19:34,360 --> 01:19:35,960
the week before we had open
house and stuff.

1506
01:19:35,960 --> 01:19:38,360
He walked by his little thing.
And I'm just trying to be strong

1507
01:19:38,360 --> 01:19:40,080
for him, you know, I'm just
trying not to cry when

1508
01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,120
everything in me just wants to
start falling.

1509
01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:45,320
And yeah, that's one thing I'm
working through as a parent,

1510
01:19:45,320 --> 01:19:49,080
trying to figure out when, yeah,
when to be on for him is a

1511
01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:51,600
unique way to put it right in a
different way.

1512
01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:54,920
Yes, and I, but I also think
it's so important for your kids

1513
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:57,360
to see you not have a good day.
Oh, yeah.

1514
01:19:57,360 --> 01:20:00,520
And being honest, like I will
tell Alice, like I am sad today.

1515
01:20:01,040 --> 01:20:04,520
I don't feel good today or I've
been over stimulated and what

1516
01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:07,800
over stimulating means, right?
Like I have a really big thing

1517
01:20:07,800 --> 01:20:09,320
with touch.
I don't like to be touched.

1518
01:20:09,320 --> 01:20:13,200
I don't like people touching me.
I don't like, I don't like when

1519
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:16,760
strangers touch me.
I will hug someone depending on

1520
01:20:16,760 --> 01:20:18,600
the the vibe that I get from
them.

1521
01:20:20,520 --> 01:20:24,480
But there's very few people I'll
cuddle with or obviously my son

1522
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:27,000
can.
Hug me and I cuddle with him.

1523
01:20:27,040 --> 01:20:28,720
He's the one I want to cuddle
with.

1524
01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,240
But sometimes with like kids,
touch can be very

1525
01:20:31,240 --> 01:20:34,760
overstimulating sometimes too.
And I'll sit and I'll I'll tell

1526
01:20:34,760 --> 01:20:37,560
him what this means so much.
So we're now he'll tell me like

1527
01:20:37,560 --> 01:20:38,960
mom, I'm overstimulated right
now.

1528
01:20:38,960 --> 01:20:41,400
Like I just need to sit in my
room for like 5 minutes.

1529
01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:45,040
I'm like, yes, on the incident,
I'm cheering, but I'm like, all

1530
01:20:45,080 --> 01:20:50,720
right, go do your thing.
Because I as a him, I'm raising

1531
01:20:50,720 --> 01:20:54,520
someone's husband, OK?
I want him to be able to say

1532
01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:59,320
what's wrong because my dad
bottled it all up, right?

1533
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,920
We're not, they're not really
that generation isn't really

1534
01:21:01,920 --> 01:21:05,040
good with their emotions and
it's caused a lot of bad cycles

1535
01:21:05,040 --> 01:21:08,160
to happen.
I want him to be able to say his

1536
01:21:08,160 --> 01:21:11,000
emotions, but also don't let
anybody walk over you.

1537
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:15,560
So I, I need to be a parent to
him, yes, but I need to respect

1538
01:21:15,560 --> 01:21:18,440
his feelings too.
When he's angry, he might just

1539
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:20,520
need space.
I'm just going to give him

1540
01:21:20,520 --> 01:21:22,320
space, right?
If he's throwing a tantrum,

1541
01:21:22,320 --> 01:21:25,400
maybe he's just had a long day
at school. 2nd grade can be

1542
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:29,640
tough, you know, like you're.
There's a lot of things that

1543
01:21:29,640 --> 01:21:33,880
happen and I like, sometimes we
don't, Sometimes we forget.

1544
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:37,240
Kids are learning too.
This is their first time for

1545
01:21:37,240 --> 01:21:39,440
everything.
So I don't know.

1546
01:21:39,440 --> 01:21:42,080
I'm all about the emotions in
the house, all about it.

1547
01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:44,960
Cry, get angry.
Sometimes you can throw things.

1548
01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:47,920
That's cool, depending on what
it is.

1549
01:21:48,880 --> 01:21:51,880
Yeah, there's not much, there's
not much positivity that comes

1550
01:21:51,880 --> 01:21:56,600
from doom scrolling.
But the 11 that I remember is

1551
01:21:56,600 --> 01:22:01,360
pretty pointing in this
conversation where there's a dad

1552
01:22:01,360 --> 01:22:05,360
in his car who like had a lapse
where he didn't remember that

1553
01:22:05,360 --> 01:22:06,560
they were kids learning and
stuff.

1554
01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:08,840
And I'm assuming he probably
lost his temper or something

1555
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:11,440
like that and he was just
bawling in his car and just

1556
01:22:11,440 --> 01:22:13,440
saying they're just kids.
They're just kids.

1557
01:22:14,320 --> 01:22:18,200
And it's, it's wild because
there's, they're always smarter

1558
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:21,600
than you give them credit for,
but at the same time it's like,

1559
01:22:21,680 --> 01:22:24,280
okay, why don't you put that
into practice when they do

1560
01:22:24,280 --> 01:22:27,080
something you don't like, You
know, that's because it's really

1561
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:30,040
easy to.
This morning my 4 year old

1562
01:22:30,040 --> 01:22:32,800
dropped a full roll of toilet
paper in the toilet.

1563
01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:34,880
Oh no.
Yeah, and I was like, it was

1564
01:22:34,880 --> 01:22:36,800
immediately after I told him not
to grab it.

1565
01:22:36,800 --> 01:22:38,760
I'm like, dude, don't grab that.
You don't need that right now.

1566
01:22:38,840 --> 01:22:40,440
And he just blatantly didn't
listen.

1567
01:22:40,440 --> 01:22:42,280
Like did on purpose grab?
It and sometimes they'll look

1568
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:43,640
you in the eye while they do it
100.

1569
01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:46,000
Percent, yeah.
And he's going to put up on this

1570
01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:48,720
thing and it falls in.
And at that moment everything in

1571
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:51,080
your being just wants to say the
hell are you doing?

1572
01:22:51,080 --> 01:22:52,280
Do it.
I told you not to do it, but

1573
01:22:52,280 --> 01:22:54,600
it's like, man, let's figure
this out, OK?

1574
01:22:54,920 --> 01:22:56,800
Because immediately he's like,
oh, sorry, I did that.

1575
01:22:57,280 --> 01:22:59,920
Yeah, so.
And so they don't mean it.

1576
01:22:59,920 --> 01:23:01,240
He's four.
He doesn't know a damn thing

1577
01:23:01,240 --> 01:23:03,120
yet, but he knows everything at
the same time.

1578
01:23:03,120 --> 01:23:03,480
You know what?
I.

1579
01:23:03,480 --> 01:23:07,240
Mean it's their true emotion
right where we can bottle it up

1580
01:23:07,240 --> 01:23:11,080
a little bit or get frustrated
or whatever, but they just

1581
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:16,080
they're just doing they're just
experiencing and I'm not a

1582
01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:18,480
perfect parent.
I have lost my shit on Atlas

1583
01:23:18,480 --> 01:23:23,560
sometimes 1000%, but then I stop
and I'm like, I'm sorry.

1584
01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:25,400
And I will always apologize to
him.

1585
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:27,800
I will stop what I'm doing.
Like I should not have reacted

1586
01:23:27,800 --> 01:23:30,320
this way.
I did this because I was feeling

1587
01:23:30,320 --> 01:23:32,360
this way and not anything you
did.

1588
01:23:32,560 --> 01:23:33,920
Sure.
Am I irritated with you with

1589
01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:36,040
what you did?
100%, But I'm sorry, I should

1590
01:23:36,040 --> 01:23:39,120
not have yelled at you like that
because I also need to take

1591
01:23:39,120 --> 01:23:41,640
responsibility and
accountability for how I act.

1592
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:43,840
So he knows, like adults are not
perfect.

1593
01:23:43,960 --> 01:23:47,120
Yeah, I'm, I'm learning how to
be a mom for the first time too.

1594
01:23:47,120 --> 01:23:48,240
You know, we're learning
together.

1595
01:23:48,720 --> 01:23:51,080
And I think that's why Atlas,
even though I don't have any

1596
01:23:51,080 --> 01:23:53,760
more kids, I think he'll always
be my favorite kid.

1597
01:23:54,800 --> 01:23:57,200
Even if I have more, he'll
always be my favorite because we

1598
01:23:57,200 --> 01:23:58,400
grew up together.
Yeah.

1599
01:23:58,480 --> 01:24:02,240
He's, you know, that eldest kid,
the eldest daughters, you know,

1600
01:24:02,240 --> 01:24:05,360
they, they have a different life
experience than the second kid

1601
01:24:05,360 --> 01:24:09,200
or the third kid or the 4th kid.
It's this.

1602
01:24:09,200 --> 01:24:12,000
Was the perfect time to say that
because the other ones aren't in

1603
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:15,600
existence yet so it's a get out
of jail free card for you if it

1604
01:24:15,600 --> 01:24:19,360
happens 15 years from now.
Your other kid looks at this.

1605
01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,560
They didn't exist yet.
So you can say, oh honey, it

1606
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:23,880
changed.
Your Atlas is still my favorite.

1607
01:24:25,880 --> 01:24:28,360
He will always be my favorite.
That is my baby.

1608
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:31,440
I will love my other children
just as much, but I don't.

1609
01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:34,960
I think there's something about
a mother and the first born son

1610
01:24:35,360 --> 01:24:41,160
that just is wired differently
and I get to relive my childhood

1611
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:43,560
with him too.
Putting I was going to say

1612
01:24:43,560 --> 01:24:46,840
putting together the timeline of
what you just told me you were

1613
01:24:46,840 --> 01:24:51,600
still a baby.
You grew up literally with him,

1614
01:24:51,960 --> 01:24:55,400
guiding him and with him.
And I think to a certain extent

1615
01:24:55,400 --> 01:24:59,560
that happens for parents at any
age because you completely, it

1616
01:24:59,560 --> 01:25:03,880
rewires you as a human, but
pointed when you're, you know,

1617
01:25:03,880 --> 01:25:07,400
22/23/24.
No way.

1618
01:25:07,400 --> 01:25:10,400
I, I'm lucky I knew how to tie
my shoes when I was 24.

1619
01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:13,840
And that's being sarcastic.
But like navigate the world and,

1620
01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:18,600
and try to support another
fledgling human in the way that

1621
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:21,720
is growth filled and impactful.
I wasn't prepared for that then

1622
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:25,600
I was trying to, I was hanging
on to my life by both hands.

1623
01:25:25,880 --> 01:25:29,480
So when you go through that with
understanding how to nurture

1624
01:25:29,480 --> 01:25:34,240
another human or learning how to
do it or or trying to learn how

1625
01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:35,640
to do it, I can keep going down
that hole.

1626
01:25:36,440 --> 01:25:38,960
I'm sure it's impact.
I'm sure it's way different.

1627
01:25:39,080 --> 01:25:41,920
Well, it's very healing because
I realized as a parent, it's not

1628
01:25:41,920 --> 01:25:46,160
that hard to be a parent.
And I love my parents, I do.

1629
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:50,400
But I realized that there's so
much I needed from them that I

1630
01:25:50,400 --> 01:25:57,160
never got.
And I love to know that I get to

1631
01:25:57,160 --> 01:26:00,920
give everything that I needed as
a young girl to my son so he

1632
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:04,080
doesn't have to feel that, you
know, and that's again, reliving

1633
01:26:04,080 --> 01:26:06,400
my childhood.
But I have this weird thing

1634
01:26:06,400 --> 01:26:10,360
where how sometimes I resent my
parents cuz I'm like, it was so

1635
01:26:10,360 --> 01:26:14,920
easy to just show up.
It was, it's so easy to just

1636
01:26:14,960 --> 01:26:16,320
encourage.
It's so.

1637
01:26:16,600 --> 01:26:20,960
But I strict parents.
I had parents that weren't very

1638
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:24,320
tender a lot.
I came from a divorced household

1639
01:26:24,520 --> 01:26:26,040
not getting in.
I'm not getting into my

1640
01:26:26,040 --> 01:26:28,280
childhood right now.
I'm just saying like it's, it's,

1641
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:31,280
it's such a blessing to have a
child.

1642
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:34,160
It's such a blessing.
And it's such a blessing because

1643
01:26:34,160 --> 01:26:39,360
you learn your family cycles and
when you don't have a kid,

1644
01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:40,800
you're not in it yet, you don't
understand it.

1645
01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:43,120
You're you're in the cycle.
But when you have your own kid,

1646
01:26:43,120 --> 01:26:44,880
you're like, wait, we don't have
to do that.

1647
01:26:45,400 --> 01:26:47,240
I don't have to talk to you like
that.

1648
01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:49,840
I don't have to act this way.
I don't have to do this or I

1649
01:26:49,840 --> 01:26:52,080
don't know.
Parenting is just such a

1650
01:26:52,640 --> 01:26:55,760
experience.
Here I am rambling because I'm

1651
01:26:55,760 --> 01:27:00,200
getting nervous.
Well, it is it is man.

1652
01:27:00,600 --> 01:27:03,840
And Speaking of that, you have
to pick up Atlas soon.

1653
01:27:03,840 --> 01:27:05,800
We didn't even get to some of
the things that I was.

1654
01:27:06,000 --> 01:27:08,040
I know.
Thinking of, thinking of talking

1655
01:27:08,040 --> 01:27:09,240
about.
We didn't talk about your TV

1656
01:27:09,240 --> 01:27:12,520
show, you know.
Well, I can always come back.

1657
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:16,480
I think it yeah, that might that
might have to happen, but I.

1658
01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:20,040
We'll get into the fun TV show,
the like, embarrassing things

1659
01:27:20,040 --> 01:27:23,440
I've done in my career that
people probably didn't even know

1660
01:27:23,440 --> 01:27:25,480
existed.
Yeah, well, let's end on that.

1661
01:27:25,480 --> 01:27:29,200
You told me to not forget your
embarrassing radio story.

1662
01:27:29,560 --> 01:27:32,440
Oh, they're bad.
What's What's the top of the

1663
01:27:32,440 --> 01:27:34,040
mountain?
What's the Creme de la Creme?

1664
01:27:34,240 --> 01:27:36,840
Oh well, it has to do with a
band Disturbed.

1665
01:27:37,160 --> 01:27:40,520
Oh yeah.
Yep, I went on tour with them.

1666
01:27:42,400 --> 01:27:43,960
That's not where the funny part
is.

1667
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:47,240
This is the one story I'll give
you and then I'll save the rest

1668
01:27:47,240 --> 01:27:52,240
for when I come back.
OK, so I was in my rock girl era

1669
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:54,880
and we were doing the meet and
greet with Disturb.

1670
01:27:55,640 --> 01:27:58,840
Never met them before.
First rock band I'm meeting.

1671
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:05,320
And you know, David is notorious
for like how he says things, how

1672
01:28:05,320 --> 01:28:09,160
he sings down with the sickness,
you know, the beginning of that

1673
01:28:09,160 --> 01:28:12,960
song.
So I go up to them, little me in

1674
01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:16,400
my little crop top, my black
jeans, thinking on the shit.

1675
01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:18,280
I walk up to him and I think I'm
funny.

1676
01:28:18,440 --> 01:28:21,120
I think I'm so funny and I say,
what's up?

1677
01:28:23,480 --> 01:28:25,200
So embarrassing.
They didn't even laugh.

1678
01:28:25,200 --> 01:28:27,040
They didn't think I was funny.
I think they thought something

1679
01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:30,080
was wrong with me.
And I'm like, it's funny guys.

1680
01:28:30,080 --> 01:28:34,680
Like I'm mimicking your your
song, like don't care, don't.

1681
01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:37,360
And I'm I've like Mike the
drummer.

1682
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:40,400
He's from Wisconsin and he's
become one of my friends.

1683
01:28:40,880 --> 01:28:42,480
And I've never brought this up
to him.

1684
01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:45,360
I still don't know if he knows
that that was me to this day.

1685
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:48,680
And I don't think I'll ever
remind him unless he watches

1686
01:28:48,680 --> 01:28:50,280
this.
He's I'm going to make a reel

1687
01:28:50,280 --> 01:28:52,160
out of this and tag disturbed
it's.

1688
01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:54,760
Just so funny.
I mean, they're such great guys.

1689
01:28:54,760 --> 01:28:58,160
They are the best.
I've never seen such a great

1690
01:28:58,160 --> 01:29:02,400
crew before and a group of
artists and just humbled men,

1691
01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:06,400
but that was the top
embarrassing story.

1692
01:29:06,960 --> 01:29:09,080
And was that in like a?
Was it in a meet and greet

1693
01:29:09,080 --> 01:29:11,040
scenario?
Yeah, it was at the rave, OK,

1694
01:29:11,560 --> 01:29:14,160
And it was one of my first
things I did as Rock girl.

1695
01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:17,600
And I think Joe Calgaro was like
don't ever do that again.

1696
01:29:17,680 --> 01:29:20,360
Somebody, I don't know if it was
Joe, but somebody told me don't

1697
01:29:20,360 --> 01:29:22,320
ever do that again.
That was embarrassing.

1698
01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:24,240
I don't know.
I think it's kind of creative,

1699
01:29:24,240 --> 01:29:26,720
you know, I would go with, I
would go trended towards.

1700
01:29:26,720 --> 01:29:27,760
Funny.
Would I ever do it again?

1701
01:29:27,760 --> 01:29:30,680
No, but I recommend other people
to do it.

1702
01:29:30,680 --> 01:29:33,160
Yeah.
Maybe we'll start a trend where

1703
01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:35,600
everybody that meets them now,
we'll just say that because then

1704
01:29:35,600 --> 01:29:37,640
I'll I'll feel better.
See how it works out.

1705
01:29:37,640 --> 01:29:40,320
But I don't know.
And there's things I did on my

1706
01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:42,400
TV show that was so
embarrassing, like.

1707
01:29:42,720 --> 01:29:47,240
Well, just inherently the act of
just being naked is around

1708
01:29:47,240 --> 01:29:49,080
people that you just met and
stuff.

1709
01:29:49,120 --> 01:29:51,640
Yeah, that's seemingly
embarrassing.

1710
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:54,720
I don't know.
Yeah, men's bodies are weird.

1711
01:29:55,440 --> 01:29:59,160
You guys are weird.
There's things I I there's times

1712
01:29:59,160 --> 01:30:02,240
I've caught myself watching
myself on TV where I watch

1713
01:30:02,240 --> 01:30:06,880
myself go and it's so
embarrassing.

1714
01:30:06,880 --> 01:30:09,320
It's so funny because I was such
a prude on the show too.

1715
01:30:09,640 --> 01:30:14,080
You would think you just have
fun, but I was like, oh, I was I

1716
01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:17,760
and I, I want to save a lot of
this from when I come back.

1717
01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:21,800
But I will say I still don't
know why they had me do this,

1718
01:30:21,800 --> 01:30:23,920
why they picked me to be the
lead.

1719
01:30:24,040 --> 01:30:27,040
That's what I was going to ask
and we will save it for next

1720
01:30:27,040 --> 01:30:29,240
time, but it has to be a
fascinating story of how it

1721
01:30:29,240 --> 01:30:32,000
transpired of like because
normally I'm assuming you like

1722
01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:34,200
filled out some type of
application that wait.

1723
01:30:34,200 --> 01:30:36,320
Till you hear how I got to that
point.

1724
01:30:37,280 --> 01:30:41,200
Oh my gosh, it had to do with a
couch wine.

1725
01:30:41,200 --> 01:30:43,720
Wait, I shouldn't say couch.
That sounds really bad actually

1726
01:30:43,720 --> 01:30:45,840
in.
This in this.

1727
01:30:47,880 --> 01:30:52,120
Scenario, not that I was with my
roommate, my girlfriend Allie,

1728
01:30:52,160 --> 01:30:56,400
and it's just we were watching
season 2 and she was like

1729
01:30:56,400 --> 01:30:59,000
Natalie, you should apply for
you need a reality show.

1730
01:30:59,000 --> 01:31:00,960
You should apply for this.
Why that one?

1731
01:31:00,960 --> 01:31:03,400
I don't know.
Easiest 1 to get on, I guess.

1732
01:31:03,800 --> 01:31:08,920
And the story after that and
everything that unfolded from

1733
01:31:09,280 --> 01:31:16,160
crew flights, Burbank, CA, Oh my
gosh, it's just the tabloids

1734
01:31:16,160 --> 01:31:20,000
that I was in was crazy.
The stories that were made-up

1735
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:24,560
about me crazy.
The the characters on my show

1736
01:31:24,560 --> 01:31:26,840
were insane.
And you know what's crazy?

1737
01:31:26,840 --> 01:31:29,280
Now that I think about it, I've
also never talked about my show

1738
01:31:29,280 --> 01:31:33,400
in an interview unless I did an
interview for Us Weekly or

1739
01:31:33,400 --> 01:31:36,680
during our press run.
I've never talked about my show.

1740
01:31:36,800 --> 01:31:39,440
I've never done any reviews,
nothing.

1741
01:31:39,440 --> 01:31:41,080
I just did it and then I was
done with it.

1742
01:31:41,320 --> 01:31:43,720
Dive in a little bit.
OK, Should we?

1743
01:31:43,760 --> 01:31:45,240
Yes.
OK, yes.

1744
01:31:45,720 --> 01:31:48,360
So.
OK, So move from the couch, the

1745
01:31:48,360 --> 01:31:50,880
couch with your friend.
Who told me I should?

1746
01:31:50,960 --> 01:31:52,560
Yeah.
So you you fill out this

1747
01:31:52,560 --> 01:31:53,800
application?
Yeah.

1748
01:31:54,000 --> 01:31:56,440
Then I forgot that I filled it
out too because I was drunk.

1749
01:31:58,040 --> 01:31:59,640
And then what?
You just get a random call.

1750
01:31:59,920 --> 01:32:04,240
Yeah, it was like, I don't know,
4 weeks later I get a call and

1751
01:32:04,240 --> 01:32:06,520
it was like, hi, I'm so and so
from light hearted

1752
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,880
entertainment.
Do you have time to talk?

1753
01:32:08,880 --> 01:32:11,760
And I'm like from who?
Like, and I'm, I'm thinking it's

1754
01:32:11,760 --> 01:32:14,600
something with the radio or
whatever entertainment, you

1755
01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:17,120
know, I'm totally just caught
off guard.

1756
01:32:18,120 --> 01:32:20,160
They're like, yeah, you filled
out this application.

1757
01:32:20,160 --> 01:32:22,360
We want to get to know you more.
Can you do a Skype interview?

1758
01:32:22,360 --> 01:32:23,960
This was before Zoom, Skype
days.

1759
01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:26,160
This was Skype days.
Do you guys remember Skype?

1760
01:32:26,160 --> 01:32:30,040
Like my goodness.
And so I'm like, OK, so we do a

1761
01:32:30,040 --> 01:32:32,520
Skype interview and I've never
done anything like this

1762
01:32:32,520 --> 01:32:34,320
obviously in my life.
The only thing I've done close

1763
01:32:34,320 --> 01:32:36,200
to is rock girl and applying for
that.

1764
01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:40,840
And they're just asking a little
bit about me, like what I'm

1765
01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:46,760
doing, what my life is like.
And I'm just, I'm 24, I'm 24

1766
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:50,640
years old, dumb, just a dumb
girl, OK, just experiencing life

1767
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:52,960
and no rules, no nothing, living
on her own.

1768
01:32:53,680 --> 01:32:58,440
And they fly me to California
then, and I meet some of the

1769
01:32:58,440 --> 01:33:02,640
producers.
And trying to do a show in

1770
01:33:02,640 --> 01:33:06,840
production is so weird where I'm
in a hotel room, I have a hotel

1771
01:33:06,840 --> 01:33:10,360
room to myself, but there's
someone outside of my door 24/7

1772
01:33:10,360 --> 01:33:12,320
because they don't want anybody
to meet each other.

1773
01:33:12,640 --> 01:33:14,600
And so then we go in a casting
room.

1774
01:33:14,680 --> 01:33:17,440
That also sounds bad.
We go in a room with other

1775
01:33:17,440 --> 01:33:19,640
contestants. 0 couches. 0
couches.

1776
01:33:19,760 --> 01:33:24,640
She's crazy and we're not
allowed to talk to anybody.

1777
01:33:24,640 --> 01:33:26,600
We just have to fill everything
out.

1778
01:33:26,800 --> 01:33:29,680
And then one by one, we get
called into another room and

1779
01:33:29,680 --> 01:33:32,240
that's when we we're talking to
the directors, we're talking to

1780
01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:34,560
the executives, we're talking to
producers.

1781
01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,640
And it's just like conversation
like you and I are having.

1782
01:33:36,640 --> 01:33:39,680
There's nothing crazy or
embracive, invasive nothing.

1783
01:33:40,320 --> 01:33:44,560
And did my interview and they
sent me back to Wisconsin.

1784
01:33:44,560 --> 01:33:46,960
I didn't know they're like, OK,
we'll call you if we call you,

1785
01:33:46,960 --> 01:33:49,840
if we want you.
I'm like OK, another month goes

1786
01:33:49,840 --> 01:33:52,080
by.
Hey now we want to know more

1787
01:33:52,080 --> 01:33:54,600
about your family.
So can you have somebody from

1788
01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:57,840
your family call us, an
ex-boyfriend call us and your

1789
01:33:57,840 --> 01:34:01,640
best friend to call us?
I'm like, OK, so I'm signing all

1790
01:34:01,640 --> 01:34:03,280
these people up and they don't
know what they're signing up

1791
01:34:03,280 --> 01:34:03,760
for.
They don't.

1792
01:34:03,760 --> 01:34:05,840
I don't even tell them that I
signed them up for this.

1793
01:34:05,840 --> 01:34:08,720
They just randomly called them.
Luckily they said good things

1794
01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:11,200
about me.
Thanks, family and friends and

1795
01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:15,320
ex-boyfriend.
And so I went through that phase

1796
01:34:15,320 --> 01:34:17,680
and then they flew me out to LA
again.

1797
01:34:17,680 --> 01:34:20,240
Again, I'm meeting more people,
getting more involved.

1798
01:34:20,960 --> 01:34:23,160
It wasn't until the third time I
fly out to LA.

1799
01:34:23,160 --> 01:34:25,160
Now, this is where it gets
weird, OK?

1800
01:34:25,720 --> 01:34:27,080
They don't tell me where I'm
going.

1801
01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:29,000
They don't tell me where the
show's being filmed.

1802
01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:32,120
Nothing.
This would be season 3 of the

1803
01:34:32,120 --> 01:34:36,160
show.
So they're like, OK, now you're

1804
01:34:36,160 --> 01:34:39,200
going to meet everybody.
Everybody involved in this show,

1805
01:34:39,280 --> 01:34:41,760
investors, producers, like all
hands on deck.

1806
01:34:42,360 --> 01:34:47,520
So I walk into this ballroom
almost and I see like 3540

1807
01:34:47,520 --> 01:34:51,680
people in front of me, a camera
or I'm sorry, a boom, a camera,

1808
01:34:52,280 --> 01:34:54,880
a chair and then a little
changing area.

1809
01:34:54,880 --> 01:34:57,840
I'm like, this is weird.
Now we're getting into the weird

1810
01:34:57,840 --> 01:35:00,360
part because the show was called
dating naked.

1811
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:03,880
So I'm we're doing an interview
and they're like, well Natalie,

1812
01:35:04,200 --> 01:35:06,440
we need to see if you would
follow through with this.

1813
01:35:07,120 --> 01:35:09,960
We need to see if you will get
naked on camera.

1814
01:35:10,400 --> 01:35:13,880
And my heart went to my butt.
I'm telling you, I was so

1815
01:35:13,880 --> 01:35:15,320
nervous.
I was like, Oh, my mom is going

1816
01:35:15,320 --> 01:35:16,960
to kill me.
Then you look around for the

1817
01:35:16,960 --> 01:35:17,760
couch.
Yes.

1818
01:35:18,160 --> 01:35:21,440
Now I'm looking, I'm like, wait
a minute, I don't know if this

1819
01:35:21,440 --> 01:35:22,960
is the right thing.
OK, I'll do it.

1820
01:35:24,160 --> 01:35:27,280
So I go behind this like
changing area and I'm dressing

1821
01:35:27,280 --> 01:35:29,600
down and I'm like, good thing I
took care of myself.

1822
01:35:29,600 --> 01:35:32,440
That's like all the girl process
thinking through my head, my

1823
01:35:32,440 --> 01:35:34,920
head spiraling.
So then I think, how do I stand

1824
01:35:34,920 --> 01:35:36,560
out, right?
Because I have nothing to offer.

1825
01:35:36,560 --> 01:35:38,080
I have no boobs.
I have no butt.

1826
01:35:38,080 --> 01:35:41,040
Like I literally look like
Mowgli from the lying, The

1827
01:35:41,200 --> 01:35:42,880
Jungle Book.
That's what I look like.

1828
01:35:43,800 --> 01:35:46,600
And I'm like, I got to be funny.
You got to be funny.

1829
01:35:46,600 --> 01:35:49,520
That's the only thing I have.
That's the only thing I have.

1830
01:35:49,600 --> 01:35:51,760
And I because I'm seeing all
these other women, right?

1831
01:35:51,760 --> 01:35:53,440
I can't talk to them, but
they're beautiful.

1832
01:35:53,440 --> 01:35:56,720
They have like these big boobs
and a great butt.

1833
01:35:56,720 --> 01:35:59,560
And this is like, this is before
like a lot of social media and

1834
01:35:59,560 --> 01:36:01,320
like they're just naturally
beautiful.

1835
01:36:01,320 --> 01:36:06,800
And I'm like, shit, OK, So I'm
like, OK, are you guys ready?

1836
01:36:06,800 --> 01:36:09,320
And they're like, yeah, I
literally walk out like a

1837
01:36:09,320 --> 01:36:14,080
showgirl.
I'm like, all right, I'm saying

1838
01:36:14,080 --> 01:36:16,920
that out loud too.
Just butt naked, looking them in

1839
01:36:16,920 --> 01:36:19,080
the eye.
Like, I'm look at all this.

1840
01:36:19,080 --> 01:36:24,080
Nothing is existing.
But I'm funny because it's so

1841
01:36:24,080 --> 01:36:25,640
embarrassing to say.
I haven't told this story in so

1842
01:36:25,640 --> 01:36:27,920
long.
So they're laughing.

1843
01:36:27,920 --> 01:36:31,000
And now I'm at a point where I'm
just like, are you laughing at

1844
01:36:31,000 --> 01:36:32,640
me or with me now?
Now I don't know.

1845
01:36:32,640 --> 01:36:36,240
Now I'm a little embarrassed, so
I'm thinking like, OK, I came

1846
01:36:36,240 --> 01:36:38,920
out like, can I go back?
Oh, no, we're doing a full

1847
01:36:38,920 --> 01:36:40,880
interview.
And I'm saying they're like this

1848
01:36:40,880 --> 01:36:44,720
just trying to keep it together.
And now they're re asking me all

1849
01:36:44,720 --> 01:36:46,920
these questions.
They asked me the first round.

1850
01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:49,320
Like, like, what do you like to
do?

1851
01:36:49,880 --> 01:36:51,880
Do your slate?
You know, my name's Natalie.

1852
01:36:51,920 --> 01:36:54,200
I'm 24 years old.
I'm from Milwaukee, WI.

1853
01:36:54,200 --> 01:36:58,280
I am a dancer.
I choreograph here is my

1854
01:36:58,280 --> 01:37:00,440
childhood.
This is what I like to do, you

1855
01:37:00,440 --> 01:37:02,800
know, all this stuff.
It was like what felt like an

1856
01:37:02,800 --> 01:37:04,600
hour, but it was only like 5
minutes.

1857
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:07,240
And then I went back and I
changed and they were just like,

1858
01:37:07,240 --> 01:37:09,280
OK, thank you.
And that was it.

1859
01:37:09,280 --> 01:37:12,280
And then a producer escorted me
out and I had no idea.

1860
01:37:12,280 --> 01:37:14,720
I was like, I botched it.
Like I wasn't funny enough.

1861
01:37:15,040 --> 01:37:16,640
That's all.
That's all I thought the whole

1862
01:37:16,920 --> 01:37:18,840
the whole plane ride.
I was like, well, it was fun

1863
01:37:18,840 --> 01:37:23,280
while it lasted.
And then it was like 3 weeks

1864
01:37:23,280 --> 01:37:26,680
later, they called me back and
they're like, well, Natalie, we

1865
01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:29,360
want you to be the primary.
I was like, great, what does

1866
01:37:29,360 --> 01:37:31,440
that mean?
They're like, well, we want you

1867
01:37:31,440 --> 01:37:35,080
to basically be The Bachelorette
and we want you to go ahead and

1868
01:37:35,080 --> 01:37:38,400
be the star of the shell.
You know the first thing I

1869
01:37:38,400 --> 01:37:41,880
thought it was my mother's going
to kill me, so I didn't tell

1870
01:37:41,880 --> 01:37:44,400
her.
And you went on the show without

1871
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:47,640
telling her?
Oh, darling, how this unfolded.

1872
01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:52,240
So I still didn't know where
they were sending me.

1873
01:37:52,320 --> 01:37:54,800
All I know is I had to get my
passport and they gave me a date

1874
01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:56,840
that I was leaving and I was
going to be gone for three

1875
01:37:56,840 --> 01:37:59,600
months, OK.
And I couldn't have my phone,

1876
01:37:59,600 --> 01:38:03,440
nothing.
And I don't tell my mom until

1877
01:38:03,440 --> 01:38:07,800
two days before I leave my dad.
You would think my dad would be

1878
01:38:07,800 --> 01:38:09,080
more like, no, you're not doing
that.

1879
01:38:09,080 --> 01:38:10,560
My dad was like, all right, have
fun.

1880
01:38:10,560 --> 01:38:14,080
Like be safe.
My I told my mom two days prior

1881
01:38:14,600 --> 01:38:18,600
on purpose and I said, mom, I
landed a national TV show.

1882
01:38:18,840 --> 01:38:21,560
I leave in 2 days.
I don't know where I'm going and

1883
01:38:21,560 --> 01:38:22,960
I'm going to be gone for three
months.

1884
01:38:24,080 --> 01:38:26,080
My mom was not happy.
She was like, what do you mean

1885
01:38:26,080 --> 01:38:28,360
no, you can't go.
So she took me to the airport.

1886
01:38:28,960 --> 01:38:31,560
So it wasn't even anything about
the type of content it was going

1887
01:38:31,560 --> 01:38:32,360
to be.
Well, I didn't tell.

1888
01:38:32,360 --> 01:38:35,720
Her.
I didn't tell her, I did not

1889
01:38:35,720 --> 01:38:37,760
tell her.
I didn't tell her.

1890
01:38:37,760 --> 01:38:40,160
I said mom, I'm just, I'm going
on a dating show.

1891
01:38:40,160 --> 01:38:43,600
Like I'm, I was like mom, I'm
The Bachelorette of VH1, like

1892
01:38:43,760 --> 01:38:47,600
Rock of Love, flavor of Love.
I'm like that but not as bad.

1893
01:38:47,640 --> 01:38:50,360
Flavor Flav.
I flavor Flav, yes.

1894
01:38:50,800 --> 01:38:53,000
I, I like to think I'm a little
bit more Bret Michaels, but

1895
01:38:53,000 --> 01:38:55,120
that's fine.
We'll say that.

1896
01:38:56,400 --> 01:39:01,040
And so then, then my lovely
mother found out what show it

1897
01:39:01,040 --> 01:39:03,760
was, and she almost whipped my
ass.

1898
01:39:04,080 --> 01:39:05,680
But I told I was like, mom, no,
you don't understand.

1899
01:39:05,680 --> 01:39:09,480
Like, I'm really funny on it.
I'm really funny on it.

1900
01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:10,920
I promise.
Like, it's not dirty.

1901
01:39:10,920 --> 01:39:13,200
It's not, it's not dirty and
everything's covered.

1902
01:39:13,200 --> 01:39:18,600
And it was just the wildest
experience that nobody could

1903
01:39:18,600 --> 01:39:22,200
ever possibly imagine.
And there's only one other woman

1904
01:39:22,320 --> 01:39:26,000
who knows exactly how I felt.
And she was on Season 2 because

1905
01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:27,280
Season 1, they did it
differently.

1906
01:39:28,120 --> 01:39:32,840
And yeah, I was in Bora Bora for
three months and I dated 12 men.

1907
01:39:33,160 --> 01:39:36,760
I eliminated one each week.
I had a Co star, his name was

1908
01:39:36,760 --> 01:39:39,040
David.
He was dating 12 women

1909
01:39:39,040 --> 01:39:44,240
simultaneously and it was crazy.
It had to be a trip.

1910
01:39:44,800 --> 01:39:47,960
That's the perfect amount of pre
sale where now I know I can

1911
01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:49,120
still get you to come back and
tell.

1912
01:39:49,120 --> 01:39:51,880
Me the rest of the story I will.
But now we have enough of the

1913
01:39:51,920 --> 01:39:55,800
that's the the bait, Yeah.
And I mean, you're a pre sale

1914
01:39:55,800 --> 01:39:58,000
pro, your radio, you know about
pre sale so.

1915
01:39:58,000 --> 01:40:01,560
Well, let me tell you, there is
a man who is now we think passed

1916
01:40:01,560 --> 01:40:08,080
away, but he had the best time
of his life and I like to think

1917
01:40:08,080 --> 01:40:12,160
I was part of that.
Yeah, that's very big pre sale.

1918
01:40:13,440 --> 01:40:16,080
There are fruit baskets that I
don't look at the same now

1919
01:40:16,120 --> 01:40:17,680
because of certain things on
that show.

1920
01:40:18,080 --> 01:40:22,040
And I also got in a fight that
has to do with Brett Michaels,

1921
01:40:22,040 --> 01:40:24,200
so.
Maybe you are Brett Michaels.

1922
01:40:24,200 --> 01:40:26,320
Let.
Me tell you, the first time I

1923
01:40:26,320 --> 01:40:28,760
met Brett Michaels and I said
hey, we both have dating shows

1924
01:40:28,760 --> 01:40:31,120
on VH1.
Saying that sentence out of my

1925
01:40:31,120 --> 01:40:33,120
mouth was an out of body
experience.

1926
01:40:33,520 --> 01:40:35,080
We're homies.
I.

1927
01:40:35,200 --> 01:40:36,760
Remember my phone?
Yes.

1928
01:40:37,000 --> 01:40:40,160
Like we're homies and I'm just
like, maybe we should do a

1929
01:40:40,160 --> 01:40:42,600
season together.
Just kidding.

1930
01:40:43,080 --> 01:40:46,280
Just kidding.
Man, I appreciate your time,

1931
01:40:46,280 --> 01:40:47,600
Natalie.
This was fun.

1932
01:40:47,720 --> 01:40:49,720
I was very nervous at first, but
it was.

1933
01:40:49,720 --> 01:40:52,400
Hopefully not anymore.
No, you're a good vibe.

1934
01:40:52,400 --> 01:40:54,480
You're a good person.
Appreciate you, appreciate your

1935
01:40:54,480 --> 01:40:56,280
time.
Thanks for having me.

1936
01:40:56,360 --> 01:40:57,880
It'll come again soon.
Very soon.

1937
01:40:58,280 --> 01:40:58,480
Thanks.