Michael J. Brown - Persistence, Teaching, Gifts & Heart Too Big for Sales - Ep. #47

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What's up friends, Welcome back
to Rooted Wisconsin.

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Appreciate you for clicking
another episode.

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Appreciate you for being you.
Today's episode is with Michael

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Brown, one of my favorite humans
on the planet.

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I've had the pleasure of knowing
Michael for about 6 years now

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and one of my favorite things
about our friendship is every

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time you leave a conversation
with Michael, you leave thinking

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about something differently.
I cherish that about our

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friendship and I'm pumped up to
share it with you.

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Today we talked about a bunch of
great stuff.

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He was one of ten kids.
So he talks about his family.

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His mom was white, his dad was
black.

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They weren't allowed to get
married when they got together.

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How crazy is that to think
about?

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That's what brought them to
Wisconsin.

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They were able to get married.
Here he talks about teaching his

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mom how to read.
What kind of gift is that?

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Teaching your mother how to
read.

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Such a poignant story.
Really cool.

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And another story that he tells
is a supervisor in his career.

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We get down in the career path
and he talked about a supervisor

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telling him he had a heart too
big for sales.

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Such a good piece of advice that
molded his career direction and

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changed his trajectory of his
life, motivating people,

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financial health and well-being.
We talk about his speaking

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organization and just life in
general.

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Excited to share it with you.
Big shout out to our sponsors,

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And some really, really big

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Like follow and subscribe
wherever you're watching this.

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And exciting news coming very
soon.

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But until then, here it is,
Michael Brown.

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So have the ways we try to lift
our neighbors.

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Where did the love go?
I want to get it all caught up

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now.
And that's, that's, that's a lot

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of life.
It's the instant gratification

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nation that we live in.
That's what it is.

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Yeah, I heard you talking about
that recently and I there's a

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lot of validity there, a lot of
validity there.

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I thought you made an
interesting point between the

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instant gratification and the
video game culture.

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I thought that was such an
interesting point.

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I can't even remember where I
were we talking about this or

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was it in a thing?
I can't remember.

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Right around that E sports, I
don't know it again, the arcades

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where you put the quarter in and
you got to play your life away

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and once that life is gone,
either there's somebody behind

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you ready to play the game or
you got to add another quarter.

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Now again, I see kids, they get
down 2030 and it's like quit now

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they get to vote.
There's a Rocket League game

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that it's like 3 players and one
player votes to quit because

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you're down to 0.
There's still 3 minutes left to

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go in the game.
Like why would you just quit?

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Let's just restart like no, no,
no grit fight back, get score

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one stop one right back in the
game.

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And and that I don't think we
had we, we don't learn it

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enough, I guess yeah, not to say
they don't have it.

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We just don't learn it enough.
It's not, it's not celebrated

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enough, I guess, yeah.
That's a good way to put it,

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right?
Yeah, it's not.

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I've never thought about it that
way.

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But absolutely it's not
celebrated enough because like

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we we celebrate for things like,
you know, when you're thinking

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of youth, we celebrate thing 1A
listening culture, which isn't

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always good.
Like, you know, of course it is

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in some aspects, but it isn't
holistically good.

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But then we celebrate like
hitting a deadline or like

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checking something off of your
list and, and moving on to the

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next thing when really, man,
that's weird to think about

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because it's the, I mean, how I
teach a lot is it's a lot of

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it's about the process.
It's some of it's the area.

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But at the same point or at the
same time, without celebrating

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that process and celebrating the
end goal, we've cultivated that.

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Thing I think we tried but the
participation trophy's got a bad

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rap like but.
Yeah.

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Kids that quit in the middle of
the season, there's something to

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be said for that one that's
stuck in it for 8 weeks or 10

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weeks or 12 weeks.
I mean, yeah, maybe they didn't

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work hard.
Maybe they didn't earn a

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starting spot.
Maybe they didn't hit a home

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run.
But I mean, in this generation,

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to see something through for an
entire summer, you know, at the

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AAU basketball, I've, I've
watched a number of kids, very

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talented kids jump from one team
to another team, from another

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team to because it's not going
their way.

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Like I want, I want the ball in
my hands.

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This team's not giving it to me
versus earning it.

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They're like, I'll go to the
next team and that again.

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So to start something and finish
it, How can we celebrate that

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without just a participation
trophy?

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But celebrating the
participation and showing up to

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work every day and putting on
your hard hat and running the

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lines and hitting the drills and
hitting the weights or whatever

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it is you know, to start
something and finish.

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At least conveying the value of
it and conveying what it means

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to, you know, do it and why it
means a lot to push through

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something right, Even if
ultimately a lot of times our

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gut will tell us it's not for us
or something like that.

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But seeing something through to
the end.

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And that's a.
Let's just just finish it, just

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it because it becomes a habit,
right?

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So if you are able to quit, then
quitting becomes the habit.

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So even if you're down 40 in
that game and there's 30 seconds

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left and you, you hit reset or
you quit, now the next game

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you're going to be more likely
to quit versus.

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Let's just see it through.
I'm going to try and score one

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or make that game within the
game when you're when you're

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working on that, I want to score
one or I'm not going to let them

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score again or, or, or Teaching
them that game within a game

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allows them to hold off a little
bit, that sacrifice for a little

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bit longer, less than the
instant gratification.

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Yeah, This is why I was so
excited to have you on the

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podcast, but thinking about this
for a bit because every time we

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talk, it never fails.
Every time we talk, we talk

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about something that I look at
in a little bit different way,

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and that's what I appreciate
about.

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You, I appreciate you looking at
it, right?

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So most people have that closed
mindset, but you're open, right?

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Yeah, yeah.
And like that.

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That's the appreciated part.
It's like, Nope, that's not the

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way we do it.
That's one of my wife's most

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frustrating thing is, is when
people say, well, we've always

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done.
It that way.

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That's the worst.
We've always done it that way.

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Yeah, yeah, that's probably
true.

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But let's let's think of a
different way to do it.

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So yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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That's why, that's why I was
excited every, it seems like

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every time.
So now we get to do an hour and

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a half of it and then and do
that, you know, I, I know a lot

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now, but I want to know more.
Where does where does Michael

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Brown start?
Oh man, whenever I give my

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little elevator speech, I I try
and start with youngest of 10

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kids, right?
So if that sets the foundation,

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I'm the youngest of 10 kids.
So I'll do anything to

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entertain.
I love attention.

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I love being around people.
My mom was white, my dad was

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black, so I come from an
interracial couple.

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They weren't allowed to get
married when they first got

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together.
So that that part of my

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foundation, my mom.
Didn't really.

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They weren't allowed.
To get married they they met in

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Indiana.
They were not allowed to get

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married in 1958.
They moved to Wisconsin in 1959

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where they were allowed to get
married.

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So that's just my parents.
So when people talk talk about

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history and so far back, Nope
that my parents I'm a I'm a

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relatively young adult and my
parents were not allowed to

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legally get married.
So I, I take a lot from that.

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I, I, I appreciate everything.
I mean, do I am, I'm playing

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with house money.
I am playing with this was this

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was not expected.
So I got a good friend Quayson,

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right?
Quayson, he talks about when he

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was younger, he had these plans
of, of building skyscrapers in

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Japan, right?
And we come from the same zip

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code in Milwaukee.
I, I never thought that big in

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my entire life.
I'd never thought about what I

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want to be when I grow up.
I wanted to have a good job.

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Air quotes being good.
What does that mean?

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I didn't know what that meant,
but I didn't have that kind of

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vision.
So the fact that I am where I

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am, I kind of stumbled through
it.

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I ended up coming full circle.
I knew I wanted to teach when I

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was younger.
Oh, did you really?

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I did.
I did.

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I did.
I wanted to teach 4th grade.

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So 4th grade.
I felt like as a kid, 4th grade

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was where especially with young
boys, either they went left or

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they went right.
So either they came back with a

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lot of attitude for fifth grade
or they came back and they were

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some of the better students for
fifth grade.

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I felt like that was a, an
inflection point, right?

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So I wanted to teach Milwaukee
Area Public Schools 4th grade to

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kind of be that mentor, that
guide.

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So I went to UW, Stevens Point,
went into elementary education,

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found out they paid like $17,000
a year.

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Then I switched my major to
business.

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So luckily it came full circle
and I now work with older

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students.
But yeah, that's where that's

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where the heart is, is is to, to
teach again, because my mom

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didn't read or write.
I value education.

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I value the ability that people
can learn.

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I ended up teaching my mom to
read and write, well, not what

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she always scribbled her name,
but to read.

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In 2000.
She was 49 years old, so kudos

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to her.
So we we did the Hooked on

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Phonics.
They used to have the cassette

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tapes.
There was like 10 cassette

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tapes.
We got through cassette #3 and

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then all of my family came home
for Christmas and she read to

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him.
Man.

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And my older siblings were, you
know, they were crying.

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And it was like, my brother was
like, OK, now read this page.

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And they were so excited for
her, right?

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So that that seeing them be
excited for her and she was

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excited to prove it to them.
I'm like, Yep, I want to teach

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and that and that to see that
light bulb go off in them and

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they go off in her was it was it
was powerful.

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It was fun.
But then after that, she was

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done.
She's like, I proved I could do

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it.
That's who my mom was.

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She's like I proved I could do
it.

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That's that's all I need.
So then being in that position,

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did she was her awareness of it,
did she instill some of that

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like educate yourself mentality
or did you chase it because of

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your awareness of the situation?
So youngest of 10, there was

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plenty of routes to go the wrong
way.

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I had one brother graduate
college 10 years ahead of me.

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So he was more of the I want to
do that.

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And then my father wasn't in the
house.

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He was around in the city.
I can see him whenever I wanted

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to, but he wasn't in the house.
So my next oldest brother kind

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of guided me that way.
Like, Nope, you're not going to

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be like this.
You're going to be like that.

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So one story I like to tell is
my first semester at Stevens

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Point, I came home and I was
like, can't do it.

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I can't.
I'm from Milwaukee, I'm from a

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city.
I mean, there's something to do

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everywhere we go.
I'm up in Stevens Point, There's

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not.
I play basketball a lot, but

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there's nothing to do.
I don't want to be up there

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anymore.
And it would have been a good

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00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,720
battle, but my brother, my
brother was like, well, we're

227
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,720
going to fight.
We're we're going to physically

228
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:10,560
fight unless you go back.
And he was like where he was

229
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:13,080
like, I have been lifting
weights a little bit then.

230
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,280
So he's like, it might hurt both
of us, but we're going to fight

231
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,320
unless you go back.
And that was another one of

232
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,280
those inflection points where
like, I'm going to go back

233
00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:27,200
because the, the, the easy route
will would have been a, I'm

234
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,480
going to transfer to UW
Milwaukee, but then I'm a 20

235
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,920
minute drive from school and
then, oh, you know, it's

236
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,240
raining.
So I'm not going to make that

237
00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,080
drive or it's snowing.
So I'm not going to make that

238
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,720
drive or, and we didn't have
online back then.

239
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,400
So I don't know if I would have
persisted, right.

240
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:46,080
So that being on campus at
Stevens Point, nothing else to

241
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,400
do allowed me to focus on my
studies a lot more.

242
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:53,640
And and then so that was big
that, that he was willing to do

243
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,000
that for me because he knew the
path I wanted to go on and he

244
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,600
knew it would work out for me.
So, and it has.

245
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,440
So when I tell people about
education, like I've been

246
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:10,320
without a job twice, but it was
very, very short lived and by

247
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,160
choice, right?
So having that education gave me

248
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,040
that.
Not saying you're going to make

249
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,840
a ton of money if you get an
education, but having that

250
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,560
education gives you options and
that's what you want to do.

251
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,400
It raises the floor.
Yes, it raises the floor.

252
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,600
Not only does it raise the
ceiling, it raises the floor

253
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,480
too.
Youngest of 10 is hard for me to

254
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,720
even think about.
That's hard for me to even

255
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:34,880
conceptualize, so I couldn't be
more opposite.

256
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:39,640
I'm an only child, so like
youngest of 10.

257
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,800
That had to be fun.
Chaotic.

258
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,840
So much fun, so much fun.
It was, it was a blast.

259
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,480
It was always someone in the
house, right?

260
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,200
So we had cousins come stay with
us for a while and live with us.

261
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,840
So there was always someone
there.

262
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,640
You always.
I had built in friends.

263
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,840
My nephew and I actually went to
college together 'cause we were

264
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,920
only three years apart.
So that's.

265
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,840
Awesome.
That's awesome.

266
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:06,120
So I I when I got to point and
I'm like, hey, this is my

267
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,440
nephew.
And they're like, you mean your

268
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,120
cousin?
I'm like, Nope, it's my nephew.

269
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:14,120
No, I can't be your nephew.
I know how the family structure

270
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,480
works.
Yeah, this is my nephew.

271
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,000
I know words.
It's just just it's just fine.

272
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,440
This is my brother that we'll
believe it at that.

273
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,920
So yeah, it was, it was, it was
fun.

274
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:30,360
It you appreciate quiet, but you
don't need it.

275
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,720
I appreciate quiet, but I don't
need it.

276
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:37,320
Like when I get around my
family, it's like, it's like,

277
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,040
it's like home, right?
And you get it.

278
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,720
Who can be louder?
Who can be the loudest?

279
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,160
Who can get the most attention?
It's it's a good time.

280
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:49,080
But then my wife has just a
sister, one sibling, right?

281
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,160
And, and both parents in the
home and, and, and it's a

282
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:56,080
completely different structured
relationship that they have a

283
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,240
family dynamic.
So our kids have something

284
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,680
similar to that, which I think
we appreciate.

285
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,000
I think we appreciate.
Probably.

286
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,840
It probably made some of the, I
don't know, some of the best

287
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,320
parts about you.
You is like, 'cause when I think

288
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,880
of things you're really good at,
like commanding a room you're

289
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:20,680
good at, and you've had to with
nine other kids and you, you had

290
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,600
to command the room and, and
know how to get attention and

291
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,480
get across the message in a
positive way.

292
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,040
Absolutely.
My wife and I started a little

293
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,880
speaking platform 10 years ago
entitled True Story.

294
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,960
So my wife's middle name is
true, as in my youngest son, his

295
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,160
middle name is true.
So when I start all my classes,

296
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,200
I'm like, listen, you're going
to hear me tell stories and

297
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,480
they're all true.
I have six brothers and three

298
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,480
sisters.
So someone in my family has

299
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,840
experienced a little bit of a
lot of it, right?

300
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:53,200
So, so all of these stories that
we go through, it's based on

301
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:55,680
something that that's where AT
shirt comes from, based on a

302
00:15:55,680 --> 00:16:00,240
true story that it's just lived
experiences.

303
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,640
So I love sharing them so that
hopefully someone can either be

304
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,840
motivated by them or scared half
to death which whichever 1 you

305
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,880
want.
Both sometimes, right?

306
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,000
For.
Sure.

307
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,360
And that's one thing I wanted to
talk about today 'cause it's one

308
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,160
thing that I appreciate.
And so, and a lot of times envy

309
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:21,360
about you is your ability to,
I've seen it countless times,

310
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:29,760
your ability to recall a story
or an activity or something that

311
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:35,160
fits the moment perfectly.
I I don't know if how was even

312
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:39,160
the right question, but like
where did you get that skill?

313
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,800
There's just so many stories up
in this.

314
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,200
No, it, it's a coping mechanism,
I think.

315
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,960
I think honestly, for me to
understand certain situations, I

316
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,640
have to relate it to another
situation.

317
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,280
So then then it takes the fear
factor out of it for me, the

318
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,240
fear of the unknown, Like, oh,
no, remember.

319
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,480
It's just like, oh, OK, I, I
remember doing that.

320
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,880
I remember being bussed out to
Brown Deer High School coming

321
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,960
from the inner city school and
then taking that bus and, and

322
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,200
sitting by yourself in the
lunchroom for those first couple

323
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,800
weeks.
I remember that.

324
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,880
And I can compare that to these
new students coming in and not

325
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,160
knowing anyone and I can relate
to them in that way and

326
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:21,040
hopefully they can relate to me.
Same thing with having kids and

327
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,160
having a kid at a very young
age.

328
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:27,800
Like I want them to know I've
experienced the struggles and

329
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,040
I've experienced some really,
really good times.

330
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,200
So I want to help them relate to
me.

331
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,880
So then I try and find something
relatable to every situation.

332
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,920
That way, again, it takes the
fear away from me.

333
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,320
That's it.
That's that's my goal is to not

334
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,520
be scared on any not be afraid
on any given day.

335
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,160
So let me flip it real quick.
What was it like being an only

336
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,640
child?
I don't know.

337
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,400
It was it was good.
It was good.

338
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,240
I it's probably one of those
things that your lens like is

339
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,200
your lens right, So you don't
get to see it through a

340
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,440
different direction.
But it was good, man.

341
00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:07,760
I had there was a kid that lived
across the the road for me who

342
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,120
was my same my same age and he
was my best friend little age,

343
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,040
you know, growing up.
So I never felt alone.

344
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:18,960
Like any time I wanted to play,
I'd go see Russell, you know,

345
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:23,040
and I don't know, but you know
what's funny about it is there's

346
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,920
I love smashing down stereotypes
and there's this stereotype of

347
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,480
like only children being
spoiled, right?

348
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:35,080
That's a classic 1.
And I think the the stereotype

349
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,640
definitely lives true about
being spoiled with attention.

350
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,120
I definitely the attention is
there from your parents and my

351
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,280
parents were always but like my
parents are frugal man and and I

352
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,560
was not spoiled with things and
I appreciate that.

353
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,880
No, at the time you know, you
probably don't as a kid.

354
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,800
Why can't I just get?
Yeah, yeah.

355
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,040
But that, that definitely that's
when I can break down.

356
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:02,120
I definitely was not things
spoiled, but it was good man.

357
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,280
I I that's why it's hard for me
to think so.

358
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,520
My wife has she had a fan of
five kids.

359
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,040
Nice.
So like we've had that

360
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,480
conversation about how our
experiences are way different,

361
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,960
but I don't know good.
I I guess I would put it it was

362
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,680
it was fine.
So like, you played sports,

363
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,320
Yeah.
And then your parents would be

364
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,520
in the stands.
Yeah.

365
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,200
Oh yeah.
Yep.

366
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:30,400
Anybody else?
Very infrequently would even

367
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,160
like grandparents or anything
come.

368
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,800
I don't.
So I don't know that my parents

369
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,840
ever missed a game.
My third sport was golf, so like

370
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,880
that one wasn't one to come to.
I was like.

371
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:46,440
And it's funny because neither
of my parents are athletic in

372
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,440
practice or in really interest.
They could care less, but that

373
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,760
support system, yes, is another
thing that you take for granted

374
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,000
at the time.
But then you look back upon it

375
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,600
and you're like, OK, I see why
it was so important, right.

376
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,360
Because I'm never going to miss
any of rivers things ever.

377
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,280
Exactly.
You know?

378
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,120
Exactly.
So, yeah, always in the stands,

379
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:12,520
but no, extended, not not the
same.

380
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,000
Yeah.
So my mom didn't make it to any

381
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,880
football game, any basketball
game.

382
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,600
My dad made it to 1 football
game.

383
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:24,200
But brothers, sisters, cousins,
nieces, nephews like the the

384
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:31,760
stands would be 10/15/20 people
screaming that support that that

385
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,840
big family support.
It was something to do.

386
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,920
So now we're in a Schwabenon, My
boys are in a Schwabenon.

387
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:42,120
We had a, we had a game in
Waupun this, this season for

388
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:46,160
basketball and my brother and,
and his sons and his

389
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,880
brother-in-law and my sister.
And you know, so they had this,

390
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,960
this network of people that
they're not used to being at

391
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,360
their home games.
Because again, my sister, my, my

392
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:57,920
wife has her sister and their
family come and then her parents

393
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:01,040
will come.
But not having that big loud

394
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,000
network.
It's, it's by one whole section.

395
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Just just clear out a whole
section.

396
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,720
And they are not quiet.
They're not they they support

397
00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:13,360
with all of their chests, the
whole yelling, screaming, yeah.

398
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,520
So that that part when you talk
about like support and support

399
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:20,600
it having that big family, that
big network was was good in that

400
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,720
way because it's supplemented
because my again, being the

401
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,600
youngest, my parents were older
parents.

402
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:32,040
So I was a young parent at 18.
So like my oldest will be 32 in

403
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:36,840
two weeks and then I've got 17
and 16 now as of last week.

404
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,920
So I've got a little bit of both
and, and trying to keep up with

405
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,760
these young kids.
Is it it is tough.

406
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,520
So I, I understand their, their,
their commitment.

407
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:50,240
My parents having kids that
could, you know, look after like

408
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:54,280
they show me things and teach me
to drive and, and take me to

409
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:55,840
driver's in and all of those
things.

410
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,520
So we had that.
It was like a supply chain.

411
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:02,480
It was like a, it was like a
report structure where you just

412
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,200
report up the line and everybody
messaged down and away so.

413
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,480
Kind of a built in hierarchy.
Yes, the hierarchy here it is.

414
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,080
Yes, yes, yes.
And that had to be tough to be

415
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,080
Antenna 10 because the bottom of
the bottom of the totem pole

416
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,040
every time.
Man, oh man, every single time.

417
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,080
And it's still there.
It's still there and I love it.

418
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:26,440
I I love it.
I love it because sometimes my

419
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,640
head gets big and then they keep
me nice and humble.

420
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,160
They they remind me where I'm
from.

421
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,200
So that's good.
It's good.

422
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,880
Life's good.
Well, it's good.

423
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,920
We'll get, you know, we'll get
100 views on this just just by

424
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,080
immediately.
And that's just it.

425
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,440
I'm trying to keep it positive
so I can share with them.

426
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,400
Otherwise I can get into some
stories that I couldn't share.

427
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,400
No, I'm just kidding.
No.

428
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,760
Positivity is what you do.
Absolutely.

429
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:53,120
I it's again, there's there's
two ways to look at everything,

430
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:54,360
right?
You can go to bad route, you can

431
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,440
go to good route and why not
think the best?

432
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,560
Find the gift is the thing I
live by.

433
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,080
Love it.
That is awesome.

434
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,240
That is awesome.
So and that's probably part of

435
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,120
the reason you're really
effective, as effective as you

436
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,560
are at what you do.
And I think that kind of leads

437
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,280
into another question I have for
you.

438
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,960
I was, I didn't know, we had
never talked about you being the

439
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,120
4th grade teacher, but we had
never talked about that.

440
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:21,480
So early on you developed
through that, you know, thinking

441
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,480
about it like that, you you
identified that supporting

442
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,720
people was your thing.
Like that's where you got

443
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,400
satisfaction.
That happened for me way later

444
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,880
in my life.
I was really achievement focused

445
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:38,000
for a while as a young person up
until, you know, I wasn't

446
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,320
anymore.
That's a bad way to put it.

447
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,680
I didn't identify that
supporting people was where I

448
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,560
got passion.
I thought it was by reaching

449
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:47,400
achievements.
But every time I'd take another

450
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,680
step up the ladder and I I'd be
like, OK, this is it.

451
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,720
And then it's like, OK, it still
feels the same.

452
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,880
It feels the exact same.
It's fine.

453
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,000
Yeah.
So how did having that

454
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,320
identified early and we'll talk
about some of your like career

455
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:09,320
path stops in a little bit, but
how, how did you use that then

456
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:14,160
to navigate after switching to
business probably post

457
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,280
graduation, what you decided to
do, how did you use that to

458
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,680
navigate that?
So unfortunately, I didn't use

459
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,280
it the right way.
I, I, I allow again, becoming a

460
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,960
young father, you, you lose some
options where you can't chase

461
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,800
your passion if you have to
bring money home.

462
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:35,320
So it, it ended up going into
sales in order to make money as

463
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,480
a single father trying to
support a son at home.

464
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,600
You can't chase what you're
passionate about, especially if

465
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,120
it's only paying $17,000 a year,
right?

466
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,280
So we got away from that for a
long time.

467
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:52,840
I was in sales for 1010 years.
So I was at Chase Bank and her

468
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,520
name is Lori.
Shout out to Lori.

469
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,920
Lori brought me into the office
and she said, Michael, have you

470
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,000
ever thought about working for a
nonprofit?

471
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,960
I, it threw me off guard.
I'm like, no, why?

472
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,400
She's like, I think your heart's
too big for sales.

473
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,720
What, what do you, how's that
even possible?

474
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,800
She's like, Nope, it's, it's not
a bad thing.

475
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,840
It's you can talk to people and
get them over the edge, but then

476
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,560
you don't, you don't push them,
right?

477
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:25,200
I'm selling credit cards and
investments and auto loans and

478
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,240
personal loans and I know
they're going to do the wrong

479
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,240
thing with it.
So my heart just wasn't in it.

480
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,600
And then this guy came in with a
with a business card for the

481
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,320
Fisk Financial Information and
Service Center from the

482
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,680
Goodwill.
Her name was Eileen.

483
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,920
So shout out to Eileen.
Eileen worked there as a credit

484
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,800
counselor.
And I asked him, I said, can I

485
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,120
have this card?
And he's like, sure.

486
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,560
So I went to visit with her and
she counseled people on

487
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,240
financial literacy.
So it was kind of the best of

488
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,880
both worlds.
It was teaching and then with

489
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,800
the business background, with
the personal finance that I had

490
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,560
been working in for a number of
years.

491
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,320
And I'm like, I'd love to work
here.

492
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,320
She's like, that's great.
It's a great place to work, but

493
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,240
we're not hiring.
We're not hiring.

494
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,960
So I think once a month I would
check the Goodwill site just to

495
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,000
see if they were hiring.
And it was like 11 months later

496
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,640
and her position came open and
then I went and applied for it

497
00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,160
and I got the interview.
And I'm like, you don't Remember

498
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,640
Me, do you?
And she's like, no, I had walked

499
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,640
into her office on a cold call
asking for the job.

500
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,200
And so then I ended up getting
the job.

501
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,640
It didn't pay much more than
that teaching a position, but

502
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:32,280
being married at the time, it
allowed me, it afforded me the

503
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,480
opportunity to having two
salaries that I could take a

504
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,640
step back.
And I called Lori because

505
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:42,840
probably one year into working
at the Goodwill, I felt whole.

506
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,960
I felt like I had stopped
working, like I'm no longer

507
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,040
working.
I'm talking to people about

508
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,040
their finances and trying to
help them find a route out.

509
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,640
Sometimes you got to go left,
sometimes you got to go right.

510
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,360
Sometimes you need a complete
reset, like a bankruptcy or a

511
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,120
foreclosure.
Having those hard conversations

512
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,520
came easy to me because of all
of my history.

513
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,520
So it I found my home again.
And so I called Lori.

514
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,800
I told her thank you, like thank
you for it couldn't have been

515
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,080
easy, right?
As a manager, you want all of

516
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,520
your, you know, direct reports
to succeed.

517
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,040
So to have a conversation like
that, Hey, have you ever thought

518
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,920
about a different career?
That probably wasn't on her

519
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,040
bucket list of items that she
wanted to do, but she did that

520
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,680
and and it put me back on the
teaching path.

521
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,240
So the Financial Information and
Service Center, I had an

522
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,160
agreement with NWTC to bring in
a financial coach.

523
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,960
So I became the financial coach,
credit counseling, financial

524
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,760
coaching.
I was at the college and

525
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:44,160
honestly, for the first time I
realized instructors were people

526
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,440
at that point.
I mean, because I saw college

527
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,560
professors as like, you don't
even, you don't talk to them.

528
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,120
You might talk to their
assistant or you e-mail them

529
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:57,560
maybe, but you don't talk to
them face to face.

530
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:03,080
Like they are all distinct.
But everybody at NWTC has been

531
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:09,960
cool from day one, Like just
just regular people impassioned

532
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,080
about helping people learn.
And then again, I found another

533
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,080
home.
So it was.

534
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,480
It's been, I haven't worked
since 2012.

535
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,840
But don't tell anybody no.
It hasn't felt like work since

536
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,120
2011, 2012, just doing what we
do.

537
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:26,200
What an amazing story.
Do you think you would have done

538
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,280
it without that conversation
with that immediate supervisor

539
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,520
or would you just kept on
selling?

540
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,960
I would have kept on selling.
I would have kept on selling.

541
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,040
I had my older son had moved
back to Milwaukee and so I had

542
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,840
2-3 year old and a one year old
at home.

543
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,720
And although we had two
salaries, it's still the the

544
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,440
pressure from society as the
man, you have to work, you have

545
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,800
to bring in a check, you have to
pay for things you have to.

546
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,760
So that pressure.
I don't think I would have

547
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,880
thought, hey, let me take a step
back and make half the amount of

548
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,800
money for a year or two and then
do something that you actually

549
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,720
like.
So again, shout out to my wife

550
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,920
or yeah, putting up with me
during that time.

551
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,320
But yeah, it was it was
definitely societal pressures.

552
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:14,360
I wasn't mature enough at that
point to know things could be

553
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:19,160
done differently.
Yeah, that's that specific

554
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,320
societal pressure is something
that we've never really gotten

555
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:25,960
to on the podcast, but it's so
relevant and it's so valid.

556
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,600
And at least we're in a space
where it seems like as a

557
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:33,840
country, men's mental health
comes up a little bit more than

558
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,920
it did at one point.
Finally.

559
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:40,400
But, and I think that exact
thing is a big part of it, yeah,

560
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:47,560
it's a big piece that 'cause you
know that that pressure does

561
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,480
exist.
And I think a lot of times it's

562
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,480
it might even be more
self-imposed.

563
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,760
Yeah, absolutely than anything.
Absolutely, yes.

564
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:58,520
Yes, it's something just hearing
that is going to stick with a

565
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,160
lot of people.
There's a copious amount of

566
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,680
people, large percentage that
are didn't have that

567
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,440
conversation with their
supervisor and they're going to

568
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,160
go to work or they're at work
right now selling something and

569
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,360
they're sitting in the chair
saying that's me.

570
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,520
And then that boils out in a lot
of different ways.

571
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:17,800
Yep.
Yeah, it does.

572
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,760
And that's just it.
That, that if so, in I got a

573
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:23,880
long story.
You want a long story?

574
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:29,200
Yeah, Stevens Point, class of
1998, May of 1998.

575
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,480
I walk across stage May 18th.
My son's birthday is May 28th,

576
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:37,040
where he's going to turn 5.
My goal was to graduate college

577
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,800
before he turned 5.
So I walk across stage.

578
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,240
I carry my son across stage with
me to a standing ovation.

579
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,120
And my brother, the one that
made me go back to school,

580
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,520
records it with the cap on.
So there's no evidence of it.

581
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,080
He never took the cap off the
camcorder.

582
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,880
But that's fine.
We know it happened, right?

583
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,440
We got pictures.
But two weeks later, I got a

584
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,160
letter in the mail saying you
didn't graduate.

585
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,520
You are two classes short,
actually, one class short.

586
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,960
I had a sales class that was a
required course.

587
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,280
I was taking 18 credits that
last semester.

588
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,400
And my counselor said, you're
going to hurt yourself.

589
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,800
You don't need to take this
many.

590
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,920
You can drop one of those
classes instead of taking 6.

591
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:21,160
I took five and then I got a
letter saying you got to come

592
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,720
back.
And again, we didn't have the

593
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:24,840
Internet back then.
So I had to go back for a full

594
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:30,440
semester to Stevens Point.
Good thing is, you know, silver

595
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,880
lining.
I ended up taking sales and

596
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,520
insurance.
Those are the two classes that

597
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,640
were in my business program.
But I took healthy

598
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:43,880
relationships, I took meditation
and yoga, so I took those to

599
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,520
fill out my full 12 credit
course minimum.

600
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,520
But the healthy relationships
class taught me about emotions

601
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:57,680
and the teacher.
So this is 1998, so this is 2627

602
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,360
years ago.
They have the emotions of glad,

603
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:03,160
sad, mad, and scared.
Just those four.

604
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,880
Glad, sad, mad, scared, all
based on expectations.

605
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,200
If you get what you expect, you
are glad.

606
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,120
If you don't get what you
expect, you are mad or you are

607
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,480
sad.
If you don't know what to

608
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:25,160
expect, you are scared.
Men 27 years ago only knew mad

609
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:30,240
and glad because if you were
scared, you were told to buck

610
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,920
up.
If you were sad, you were told.

611
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:38,000
Men don't cry, right?
So those two emotions not being

612
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:45,480
watered or promoted within young
men causes us to lash out with

613
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:48,680
anger when you don't understand
something or if there's a fear,

614
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:52,240
if there's a sadness.
And then on the flip side, she

615
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,960
said women don't know how to be
mad.

616
00:32:56,040 --> 00:33:00,080
She said women know, glad they
know, sad they know, scared.

617
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,680
And then my good friend says,
well, you didn't know my mom.

618
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,640
It's because my mom definitely
knew how to be mad, right?

619
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,680
So and then she said, let me let
me give you a little story.

620
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,160
Have you ever heard this?
You've got your girlfriend in

621
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,960
the passenger sheet and you ask
what's wrong and she says

622
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,280
nothing.
How you doing?

623
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,400
I'm fine.
Is she fine?

624
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,720
Nope.
She's probably mad.

625
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:28,360
But again, they've been told to
control their emotions.

626
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:33,280
Like don't lash out.
Don't, don't show anger, scared,

627
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,320
sad and glad are what you are
allowed to do.

628
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:41,240
So then between that, those
emotional things where we miss

629
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,920
in society from male to female,
trying to develop those.

630
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:49,520
So that was one of the things in
4 1/2 years of college, one of

631
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,520
the things I remembered most in
my last semester when I wasn't

632
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,520
supposed to be there.
And I still use it in my team

633
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,520
building problem solving class.
We talk about emotions and

634
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,600
emotions within teammates and
then about expectations.

635
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,360
Setting proper expectations.
Not you don't have to lower your

636
00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,480
expectations, you don't have to
eliminate expectations, but

637
00:34:10,679 --> 00:34:14,000
setting proper expectations is a
part of emotional intelligence.

638
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:17,159
So we talked through that in
teams and I bring up that story

639
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:21,400
every time like that.
Again, I would not have learned

640
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:26,480
that had I not been required to
go back for 1/5 semester, that

641
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,560
it cost me a little bit of
money, didn't allow me to get

642
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,679
into my career right away, but
it put me on the path where I'm

643
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:34,199
supposed to be.
So how can you be angry about

644
00:34:34,199 --> 00:34:36,880
it, right?
So it it that's how it is.

645
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:40,280
Yeah, there's a lot there.
There's a lot that we can talk

646
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:43,760
about.
One Piece I this is probably

647
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:48,560
five years ago now, I had a
chance to do like this really in

648
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,520
depth emotional intelligence
work.

649
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,880
And it, it was all about like
identifying like subconscious

650
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,600
triggers of why how you react,
you do to certain scenarios.

651
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,960
As far as like human development
goes, one of the most impactful

652
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,880
things I've ever done.
And it was, you know, it was

653
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,320
through the lens of work.
Here's how to do that.

654
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:11,920
Team build, problem solve,
collaborate.

655
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,680
But it probably helped me more
outside of work.

656
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,000
Than anything applications to
it.

657
00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:21,760
Yeah, especially in like
marriage, like being a better

658
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,600
partner and understanding, you
know, it's weird to think about,

659
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,480
but and waiting until or like
having it not happen until

660
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,000
you're in your mid 30s of, of
being like, oh, here's why I act

661
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,560
like a Jackass when this
happens.

662
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:40,360
You know, like that was really
eye opening for me.

663
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,560
And that's not surprising.
That's not a surprising one that

664
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:47,520
you remember and use because,
you know, that's a different

665
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,080
direction, what I was just
talking about.

666
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:54,680
But bringing it back to you know
what, what matters and, and what

667
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,920
I guess is memorable and stuff
like that, Like that's a

668
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,680
poignant moment in life.
Even identifying that.

669
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:08,080
And then that gives when you
know that, then it gives you the

670
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:12,640
license to act accordingly.
Yes, that's missing from the

671
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,040
men's mental health.
Thing yes, right, and and choose

672
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,840
it like just yeah, you choose
that emotion is available to

673
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,200
you.
Choose it if you choose to use

674
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,240
it.
I mean, if you are sad, be sad.

675
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,680
I mean, if if you want to look
at the brighter side of things

676
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:31,000
and say, you know what, I can be
sad, but I'm going to be happy

677
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,120
about XYZ, then knowing you
choose it.

678
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:37,600
Don't just do it as a default or
I'm not allowed to be that that

679
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,400
part of it.
It's is unique, I think, but I

680
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,720
think we are coming a long way
since our our parents, you know,

681
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:49,040
our parents probably as far as
with child rearing and all those

682
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,040
other things, men are doing a
lot more of the

683
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,560
responsibilities.
And it's not like a woman go do

684
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,360
this and make this for me.
So those kind of things, I'm

685
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,680
sure they still exist in some
places, but that that line has

686
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,800
been blurred on whose job is
what job.

687
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,400
And that again, along with
emotions, learning to to cope

688
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,080
with that and being emotionally
intelligent is, is something

689
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,880
that I think most people can
learn.

690
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,520
Yeah, more.
And there's nothing that'll

691
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,080
develop you helping nurture a
toddler.

692
00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:17,440
Nothing.
Or a kid.

693
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,120
Absolutely.
Absolutely.

694
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,120
It just keeps getting better and
better, Brad.

695
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,240
It just keeps getting better and
better.

696
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:27,080
It is.
Yeah, it is.

697
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:30,080
Teenagers are awesome.
Yeah.

698
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,000
I was.
It's hilarious you say that.

699
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:38,360
Just yesterday I was talking
with a colleague and hadn't seen

700
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,560
her in a while and it was a kind
of in a group setting and I

701
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,240
walked into the office and the
kind of the blanket like how you

702
00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:47,760
doing?
And you know me by now.

703
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,720
I I don't want the I don't want
the canned response.

704
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,240
I want what's going on in your
life?

705
00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:55,040
What's going on?
And the first couple I got and

706
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,080
then I got to the third one.
I was and how are you?

707
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:01,120
And and tell me for real.
And she has a daughter that's 15

708
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:02,480
and she says, you know, it
sucks.

709
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,840
It sucks real hard right now.
Difficult going through a tough

710
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:11,320
patch and and like you're like.
Yes, I can learn from this.

711
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,960
Yes.
Tell me, tell me about it, you

712
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,560
know, And I'm sure there's a
just like anything else, the

713
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,440
challenges change and probably
even get bigger and

714
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,200
conversations change.
You're built for it though.

715
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:23,560
Absolutely.
We're here.

716
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,320
We're here it is.
That's how it's supposed to be.

717
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:31,200
So my mom who passed away 10
years ago, wait, this, this was

718
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:35,480
my, my son was 1617 at the time,
my older son.

719
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,600
And I'm like, man, I can't wait
for him to be 18 so I can.

720
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,640
And she's like, well, at 18, the
problems just get bigger and you

721
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:45,680
have less control.
So what are you waiting for

722
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,760
this?
And that was kind of her way of

723
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,240
saying there's all those great
quotes that, you know, this is

724
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:53,840
life, like, can't wait for this
to pass or wait for that to pass

725
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,600
it.
And my mom had all of those

726
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,440
quotes without being the poet.
She just that's, that was her

727
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:03,440
life.
Like, hey, after 18, you still

728
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:06,160
worry about the kids.
You've got less control over the

729
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,200
kids.
They're driving, they're off to

730
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,880
college, they're doing God knows
what.

731
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,320
And you're still, they say your
heart's outside of your body.

732
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,760
You're, you're still concerned
and worried about them.

733
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,320
Treasure these toddler moments
when you can control the

734
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,120
problems a little bit.
Somewhat.

735
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:28,280
Yeah, a little bit.
We'll say a little bit.

736
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,760
But then, yeah, they just grow
and they become different.

737
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,720
And again, it's, it's love
living it.

738
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,760
My, my brother says when when
you ask him how he's doing, he

739
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:42,160
says he's 6 feet ahead of the
game because because he doesn't

740
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:45,720
want to be underground, right?
So 6 feet ahead of the game.

741
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,640
And that's his canned response.
But then once you dig into it,

742
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:52,680
like we know, as far as my
brother and I come, we, we know

743
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,840
where we've come from and and
all the blessings we've.

744
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,120
Had is this the brother that was
a mentor to you of some ways,

745
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,920
like the one that kind of set
you off in a direction you

746
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,360
talked about earlier and.
I followed.

747
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,680
He's the he's the one that went
to college first.

748
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,160
So he's, so he's got an
automatic response.

749
00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,320
He's got an automatic.
He's.

750
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,960
Is that why you do it?
He's a successful business owner

751
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:16,360
in in Virginia DC area.
So for my college, the the real

752
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:20,400
graduation in December of 98
because I had to go back in May

753
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:23,560
of 99, he took me to the Bahamas
for my graduation as part of the

754
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,560
sales conference.
He won the trip.

755
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,640
I was his plus one and I watched
him work the room

756
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,880
professionally.
Just talking to this person.

757
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,760
He would take a conversation
from Group A and bring it to

758
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,040
Group B.
You know what I heard and he

759
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,360
just heard it 5 minutes ago.
But he would hit and then it

760
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,200
would keep people talking and
keep people.

761
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:49,200
And that was, I just watched
with adoration and I was just, I

762
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,600
was stunned.
But we went golfing and that was

763
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,360
my first time ever doing 18
holes.

764
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:59,840
I'd never I practiced and for
gym they showed me how to hold

765
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,880
it, but I'd never done 18 holes
1st hole.

766
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,240
And again, it's been 25 years.
You can make up numbers, but I

767
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:09,560
hit it straight and I hit it
really, really far.

768
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,600
So far that when it dog leg to
the left, the ball went over the

769
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,000
trees.
So I lost it.

770
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,600
That was my first hit off the
tee.

771
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,760
I don't think I ever hit another
one past 50 feet.

772
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,960
I mean the the whole time he's
like let the club do the work.

773
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,720
Let the, I'm like, what?
What do you mean?

774
00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,600
What do you mean by he's like
you're picking your head up and

775
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,760
you're trying to dig into just
calm down and let the club do

776
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,880
it.
But I never hit.

777
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,720
They went straight, but I was
topping the ball and not going

778
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:39,600
very far.
But we were probably on the, I'm

779
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,720
going to say 7th or 8th hole and
we were looking out and there

780
00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:46,520
were 4 palm trees straight up
with the ocean behind it, right?

781
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:48,920
And I grew up on 46th in
Congress.

782
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:51,760
Not the best neighborhood, but
not a bad neighborhood at the

783
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,560
time.
And he was like, man, imagine if

784
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,400
mom and dad can see us now,
like, and that was our moment.

785
00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:01,120
Like, wow.
Like we've come such a long way.

786
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,280
And then another brother says,
and he was in the military.

787
00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:06,560
So I don't know if this is a
military saying or whatever it

788
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:10,840
is, but he says we've done so
much with so little for so long.

789
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:14,040
We are now qualified to do
anything with nothing, right?

790
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:18,760
So I've been poor before.
So I know I can be poor.

791
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,400
I haven't been exactly rich yet
with, with money, but rich, rich

792
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,440
with, with experiences and
family.

793
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:31,560
But we are very secure
financially in my in my family,

794
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:37,080
which has been a blessing.
So each day for me is I have fun

795
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:40,080
as a poor person.
So not that I want to be poor,

796
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,920
but again, life is what you make
of it.

797
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,760
And, and any kind of
opportunities would just be an

798
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:46,800
opportunity.
That would be it.

799
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:52,440
We had our scare last month
with, you know, changes at the

800
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:56,080
college and something that
helped me was saying, you know

801
00:42:56,080 --> 00:43:00,880
what, I've been there before, so
it's going to be all right,

802
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,800
right.
So that that part of it having

803
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:09,680
him with his saying of 6 feet
ahead of the game and the other

804
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:11,720
one saying we've done so much
with so little for.

805
00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:15,080
So like, those kind of things
make me on a day-to-day basis

806
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,640
know that it's gonna be fine.
Everything's gonna be, I mean,

807
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:19,640
better than fine, better than
fine.

808
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,400
Yeah, and you can't control it.
You can't control regardless.

809
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,560
Yeah, anytime.
That's another life adage.

810
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:29,000
Anytime you try to control
something too much, it's like

811
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,960
life hands you a dose of
humbleness.

812
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,600
So.
Yes, absolutely.

813
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:34,400
Just don't even try.
Absolutely.

814
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:35,880
Just what an awesome.
Just ride.

815
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,600
The wave.
Ride the wave.

816
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,120
Ride the wave.
Absolutely.

817
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:44,160
You got to actually, was that
part of that training or was it

818
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,960
something else?
But there's that be a surfer

819
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:51,240
thing, the whole concept of
being a surfer and like, you're

820
00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:54,520
not going to control the ocean,
but if you maneuver the waves

821
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,880
correctly, like, you'll make it.
Absolutely, and you might fall.

822
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:03,520
You will probably, yeah.
I can swim, but I can't tread

823
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:07,440
water, so surfing is out for me.
Same, exactly the same.

824
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,840
My wife makes fun of me all the
time.

825
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,520
She tells me I can't swim and I
said that's a lot.

826
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,440
I can swim.
I could swim from here 500 yards

827
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,320
away.
I can't stay in one spot that's

828
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,320
not swimming.
My dad is not swimming and I

829
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,400
can't do it.
I can't do it, Brad.

830
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:23,720
I can't do it.
Isn't it?

831
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:25,880
OK, so I hear you must feel the
same way.

832
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:31,160
It's so, and I use this a lot
too, because I try not to like

833
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,160
make things that I think are
easy.

834
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,880
It's easy to come out like it is
easy.

835
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,760
And when you're telling others,
but I always think of this when

836
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,360
I'm getting too far down that
path, because when when you tell

837
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,960
people that you can't tread
water and they're like, you just

838
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,480
do this.
All you have to do is.

839
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:49,800
This with your hands.
How can you now and kick your

840
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:51,360
feet?
I'm like the faster I do this

841
00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,520
and the faster I kick my feet,
the faster I sink.

842
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,280
It doesn't make any sense
whatsoever.

843
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:59,680
At all.
I took three noodles to to I

844
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:02,000
took a noodle.
My wife handed me a noodle and

845
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,160
I'm doing it.
And then I went in.

846
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,840
So she gave me one under each
arm and I went under and then we

847
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,440
put one between my legs and two
under each eye and I'm floating.

848
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,800
I'm like, oh, yeah, this is
relaxing.

849
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,000
Yeah, that that was, that was me
trip.

850
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,560
Because you know if the noodles
are gone, you're going to sing

851
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,600
I.
Can't do it like, oh man, oh

852
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,680
man.
So in high school we had a gyp,

853
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:25,080
we had a we had a pool at Brown
Deer and you had to tread water

854
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:31,280
for 7 minutes to pass 7 minutes.
To pass a class.

855
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:35,080
To pass gym class to the
swimming portion of gym class,

856
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,000
you had to tread water for 7
minutes.

857
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,680
How'd you do it?
Or did you just not pass?

858
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:43,120
I had my right foot on the
ladder for about 6 minutes and

859
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:46,680
48 seconds.
And then when the teacher was

860
00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:49,880
watching, I'd swing my arms a
little bit just to be Oh yeah,

861
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,560
that was, that was painful.
That was, that was again, one of

862
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,360
those pain points where you'll
always remember it.

863
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:59,840
And my kids swim like fish.
They, they, they can do it all.

864
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:03,800
And they're like that.
Just just I'm like Bob Van

865
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,080
Schindel that works at NWTC.
He's got that bad.

866
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,640
It's really easy.
Just do that's that's how he

867
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,360
starts a lot of because he's so
smart.

868
00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:13,440
He's so smart.
He's like, oh, that's easy.

869
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,720
You just so I, we had a talk.
I'm sure he stopped doing it

870
00:46:16,720 --> 00:46:18,480
now.
But when we work together and in

871
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,200
student support, he'd be like,
oh, that's easy.

872
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,640
You just, and I'm like, Yep,
Yep, you're making me feel this

873
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,720
small.
He's like, my bad, my bad, my

874
00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:28,360
bad, my bad.
And that's it's tough not to

875
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:32,240
start with because you want to
make people that bring their

876
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,200
guards down like, yeah, I can
help you.

877
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,000
Is is what they're trying to get
across.

878
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,040
But when you say it's easy and
you can't do it, it's like.

879
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:40,640
Yeah, it's almost always from a
place of law.

880
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:45,680
Yes, absolutely, but I can't I
can't tread water that is so

881
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:46,680
surfing is out for me.
I.

882
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,240
Don't know how people can I, I
think it's impossible.

883
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,960
It doesn't make sense to me.
Why?

884
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,840
Why are you that way?
Like it?

885
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,040
Just how is your?
Yeah, yeah.

886
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,960
So that's, that's my, that's
always my retort.

887
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:02,720
Is that so like her argument
then to keep this going is her

888
00:47:02,720 --> 00:47:06,720
argument is that it's you can't
swim because you can't always

889
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:08,040
keep going.
And what if you had to stop?

890
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,000
Well, then I take a deep breath
and I lay on my back sideways

891
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,640
and then I backstroke a little
bit.

892
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,680
That I can do.
Yeah.

893
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,560
Yep.
Just keep my head above water

894
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:22,120
and that'll work.
But this, the whole vertical

895
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,240
thing.
No, it's just.

896
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:25,400
It's just not right.
No, it's not meant to be that

897
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:26,640
way.
It's not meant to be that way.

898
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:27,920
That's the best rabbit hole
ever.

899
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:30,720
I love rabbit holes.
At least we're in the same

900
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:33,280
rabbit.
Holes, Yes, yes, yes.

901
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,600
You know what I do want to call
back to?

902
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:40,640
I feel like we glossed over it,
but it's one of those life

903
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:45,640
moments that not only make it
worth living, but our

904
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,920
justification of like, why we're
here and what we do.

905
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:54,280
Like, I want to finish the
thought of you teaching your mom

906
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:55,520
to read.
Oh yeah?

907
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:59,000
Well, how did that come about?
Like, did you approach her and

908
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,920
be like, hey, I could do this?
Or did she ask, like, how did

909
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,600
that come about?
Of course she didn't.

910
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:05,800
Ask She did not want that at
all.

911
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:11,800
But I couldn't.
I couldn't imagine, I couldn't

912
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:16,280
imagine walking in a world where
you didn't understand like being

913
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:20,400
able to read signs and, and to
read directions and to read

914
00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,400
those things.
So my mom didn't drive,

915
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,520
obviously because she didn't
read or write, but she always

916
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,600
wanted to drive.
She didn't want to read, but she

917
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,920
did want to drive.
She always wanted to drive.

918
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,000
So that was kind of my bait.
Like, well, if your mom, if you

919
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,520
want to drive, then let's teach
you to read so you can pass the

920
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:38,960
driving test.
And then I got out of college, I

921
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:43,720
was making a tiny bit of money.
Hooked on Phonics was 130 bucks.

922
00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:47,720
And I'm like, you know what, no
better gift to get my mom for.

923
00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:49,480
I think it was for her birthday
in April.

924
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:53,000
Yep, it was for her birthday.
And then by Christmas, that was

925
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,960
what we had come up with in, in
six, 7-8 months time.

926
00:48:57,360 --> 00:49:03,720
But I felt like that unlocking
that key for her would again, if

927
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:07,320
she wanted to pursue driving,
she then could because she'd be

928
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:12,560
able to read.
She had, she was really, really

929
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,360
smart as far as being able to
memorize things.

930
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,120
So when we first started, she
would cheat and use the sight

931
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:19,560
words.
But that's how it, hey, that's

932
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,960
how it happens.
It's sight where she would

933
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,160
remember all the cards versus
phonetically reading.

934
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,480
So then going back to
phonetically reading, it got a

935
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,760
little tougher.
And then we had some

936
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:34,920
disagreements and discussions,
you know, at her age, she was 59

937
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,200
at the time.
Like why?

938
00:49:36,240 --> 00:49:38,040
I don't, I don't need to drive.
I don't need.

939
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:41,520
But then being a reminder that
if you want to drive, this is

940
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,160
this is step one.
We got to do this.

941
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:48,440
So again, having that bait,
having that hook, but then I

942
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:50,440
just wanted, I wanted for her.
I did.

943
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:55,400
I wanted her to be able to open
those kind of doors to to

944
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:59,040
driving if she wanted to, but
ultimately just to be able to

945
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:03,640
read if if if someone in my
family wrote her a letter, being

946
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:07,320
able to read that letter verses
here, read this to me, taking

947
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:10,280
away that personal.
So again, maybe my brother

948
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,640
doesn't send her as personal of
a letter because she can't read

949
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,160
it and he knows someone else has
to read it.

950
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:20,440
But to open that up for her, I
think it was a gift that she

951
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,040
deserved.
She wanted, she didn't want all

952
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,720
of it, but she did want it.
And then she didn't end up

953
00:50:26,720 --> 00:50:29,080
driving.
But to show that she can do that

954
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:30,840
part was, was, was clutch for
me.

955
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:34,280
It was it was and her work, her
and I working together gave us

956
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,080
something to do.
We played a lot of cards.

957
00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,960
We watched a lot of movies
together and TV together because

958
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:45,920
I, when I graduated, I bought my
mom's house and then we fixed it

959
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:47,800
up in that way and I lived there
with her.

960
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,840
So there was my son and my mom
and myself.

961
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:55,120
So I'd go to work, she'd take
care of my son for me and that

962
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:56,600
was family taking care of
family.

963
00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,920
I come home, I cooked and you
know, all of those things.

964
00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:03,000
And then when we had free time,
we'd play cards or play board

965
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:05,000
games or do whatever.
We didn't have the Internet back

966
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,440
then.
Had we had the Internet, I think

967
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:11,520
she probably would have even
more wanted to learn how to read

968
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,880
to get to some of this spicy
information, or she would have

969
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:16,440
just watched a lot of videos.
My mom was fun.

970
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:20,040
She was a self-proclaimed
redneck.

971
00:51:20,720 --> 00:51:25,000
That was, she loved calling
herself a she was, she was from

972
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:31,280
Muncie, IN country, you know,
she went to school through 5th

973
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,480
grade.
But it wasn't, it wasn't

974
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,440
required, especially of women
back then.

975
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,400
It wasn't expected when we talk
about expectations.

976
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,920
She was expected to have kids
and be a Good Wife and a good

977
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:47,960
mother and which she did.
Meeting my father was probably

978
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:52,800
unexpected for her father
because my father was a truck

979
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:55,600
driver and he was a good pinball
player.

980
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,280
So he'd stop at the restaurant
where she worked and he would

981
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:00,960
play pinball and that's how they
met.

982
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,200
He was playing pinball and she
would watch him play pinball and

983
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,480
every time he drove through,
he'd stop at that restaurant.

984
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,480
And that's how they built their
relationship.

985
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:12,000
But then upon that relationship,
they had to move to Milwaukee

986
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:15,240
and the rest is history.
Then they had a kid in

987
00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:21,040
596062646668 and then I was born
in 74.

988
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:23,840
So they kind of think I was a
mistake, but I won't.

989
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:28,280
Hey, hey, some of the best lady
plans were not intended, right?

990
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,560
So yeah, it, it, it was meant to
be, right.

991
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:36,440
So life has been fun.
But that, that for me, my son at

992
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,240
the time was around 6:00.
So he was in the process of

993
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,640
learning to read.
So then working together, it

994
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:44,520
helped them to build an even
stronger relationship because

995
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,200
her being his primary caretaker
while I was at the job was, I

996
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,680
mean, they, they had such a
really strong bond at that

997
00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:52,560
point.
And then working together on

998
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,680
those two, it it it made sense
at the time.

999
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:59,560
Yeah, so two things in there.
One, that carrot I bet you still

1000
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,360
use all the time as an
instructor, like tying

1001
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:05,680
somebody's motivation to doing
something is really important.

1002
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:09,400
And then two, I've never thought
this about you, but I bet you're

1003
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:11,480
a good gift giver.
Does that translate to the rest

1004
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,960
of your life?
Love giving gifts I bet I

1005
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,480
haven't figured my wife out yet
though.

1006
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,360
Like I just he might watch this
but I just bought my son a

1007
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:23,480
birthday gift He he.
It won't come up for a while,

1008
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:25,200
He.
He stepped away from insurance

1009
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,960
sales.
He's working at Petco now

1010
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,680
because originally he wanted to
be a veterinarian.

1011
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,760
He loves animals.
We talked about the idea of how

1012
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:36,480
don't you start a pet shop, like
where you buy and sell animals

1013
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,520
or or foster or whatever that
might be.

1014
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,400
But now he took a step away from
insurance.

1015
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:45,840
He's working as a bather at
Petco and he's in the grooming

1016
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,520
assistant program.
So he's going to become a

1017
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,800
groomer, but ultimately he wants
to do his own grooming business.

1018
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:54,720
So while we were rummaging this
morning, brand new pair of pet

1019
00:53:54,720 --> 00:53:57,800
Clippers.
So I think it's a great idea

1020
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,480
just to show that, hey, I
believe in you and I believe

1021
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,120
that if you want to do this, you
can do this.

1022
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:07,360
And let me get you started by
giving you this like that.

1023
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,960
So hopefully he likes it.
I hope one of the best gifts

1024
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:12,280
you've ever received.
What would it be?

1025
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:15,560
One of the best gifts I ever
received.

1026
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:25,120
That's tough, man.
You know, it's a super easy one.

1027
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,120
And it's funny because it's
almost become a joke that like

1028
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,960
every year for my birthday, my
mom buys me a a dozen Titleist

1029
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:33,760
pro V1 golf balls.
It's all, it's the only golf

1030
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:37,520
ball I play with, but it's, it's
the, it's the epitome of a good

1031
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:39,120
gift.
Like it's something, they're

1032
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,480
pretty expensive.
It's not something you want to

1033
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,240
go out and spend money on.
I'm a frugal person by nature,

1034
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:46,680
so I don't, I hate spending
money.

1035
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,720
So I don't know, something like
that.

1036
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:55,800
I'm pretty pretty simple really.
My wife tells me I'm very hard

1037
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:57,840
to get gifts for because I'm
also a person.

1038
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,160
Even though I hate spending
money.

1039
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,760
It takes me like I go through a
process of diagnosing what I

1040
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,320
want, pick specifically what it
is and then I feel there's value

1041
00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:10,880
there so I buy it and that's how
it goes.

1042
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:14,520
So I really harkening back to
what you said earlier.

1043
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,560
Fortunately after ebbs and flows
of life am doing OK.

1044
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,920
You know that you know, if I
want something, I buy it.

1045
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:28,920
And I can see how that makes me
a hard gifty E but but not but I

1046
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:34,280
don't know.
More than anything, I think it's

1047
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:42,120
like like today, I see this as a
gift from you to me in

1048
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,160
conversation.
I was thinking the opposite.

1049
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,400
I was like, man, I can't believe
you thought of me.

1050
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:49,240
So I'm I'm happy to be here for
sure.

1051
00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:50,720
But it doesn't matter.
It's anybody.

1052
00:55:50,720 --> 00:55:58,480
It's anybody in that chair.
Because when I, when I think of

1053
00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:03,240
what, you know, where true
happiness comes from within me.

1054
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,360
It's not things, right?
It's not, it's not things like

1055
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,600
those are good.
And yeah, of course, like

1056
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:15,160
there's a certain level of life
where like comforts and security

1057
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:20,720
and what you expect is, is good
and that like that's necessary.

1058
00:56:21,240 --> 00:56:27,200
But like past that, a lot of it
comes from time.

1059
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:33,320
And to me, time is more valuable
than a lot of other things.

1060
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:38,840
And that's, that's something
that's a constant struggle in my

1061
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:41,640
life.
And we've that's been beaten to

1062
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,960
death on the podcast about being
super motivated but not knowing

1063
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,320
where to put time and then
giving it to others.

1064
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:52,360
So I don't know, I guess a lot
of the gifts that I think of in

1065
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,200
my life wouldn't be perceived by
a lot of people as gifts.

1066
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:59,880
It's maybe like a, someone
opening a door for me, a, a, a,

1067
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:03,120
not a literal door, a figurative
door to something.

1068
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,080
So that's where I know if I
thought about it for a long

1069
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,240
time, that's where my answer
will go.

1070
00:57:10,240 --> 00:57:15,240
And you know, here's a really
good example of that is when I

1071
00:57:15,240 --> 00:57:18,640
initially graduated college.
I don't know how much of that

1072
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:20,120
story you and I have even talked
about.

1073
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,720
I got an academic scholarship to
go to college, but I had to be

1074
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:26,840
an engineer and I wasn't ready
for anything to do with college.

1075
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:30,480
I wasn't everything in life had
come up very easily to me to

1076
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,320
that point.
And then all of a sudden you

1077
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,960
have to be self motivated and
you have to actually like set a

1078
00:57:36,960 --> 00:57:40,520
mission and vision on something
as opposed to just like show up

1079
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,760
and just do well cuz you can
remember things good.

1080
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,960
Yes, absolutely.
So that of course didn't go

1081
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,440
well.
And then I transferred to

1082
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:49,480
Milwaukee area Technical
College, got a degree in

1083
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,640
marketing there, nice and
graduated right in the dead

1084
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,600
center of a recession.
So I'm working a couple odd jobs

1085
00:57:56,600 --> 00:57:59,960
trying to make it work, feeling
like some of that pressure we

1086
00:57:59,960 --> 00:58:03,000
were talking about earlier,
feeling like I'm an adult but

1087
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:06,680
not living or or like earning
like I'm an adult.

1088
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:10,560
And at that time I had a couple
internships in radio and I

1089
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:13,400
diagnosed at least I had a goal.
That's what I wanted to do.

1090
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:14,400
That's how I wanted to work
Nice.

1091
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:18,000
And nobody was hiring anything.
It was a recession.

1092
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:23,320
I couldn't get any kind of job.
And I sent talking about kind

1093
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:28,280
of, you know, being motivated or
like taking control or charge.

1094
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:32,240
I send an e-mail to every radio
station within an hour of

1095
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:37,640
Milwaukee, where I was living at
the time, asking to do any kind

1096
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,040
of work.
Pay me to do something like I'll

1097
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,480
clean.
Yeah, help, let me do something.

1098
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,080
And there was a dude named Bob
Bonifant.

1099
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:52,160
He, which is, it's wild, his,
his job is wild to think about

1100
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:56,720
now because he, he made his
entire career on an AM radio

1101
00:58:56,720 --> 00:59:00,120
station being the salesperson
and the voice talent.

1102
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:01,800
He did it all.
He did everything.

1103
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,240
So looking back on it, I get why
he did it now.

1104
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,080
Like of course this guy wanted
$7.00 an hour help to do

1105
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:08,840
something because he did
everything else.

1106
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,680
Take one of these balls out of
my hand.

1107
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:13,880
Seriously, I'm juggling.
Yeah, but at at that point in my

1108
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:19,240
life, him even replying to that
e-mail and saying, yeah, come in

1109
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:24,200
and talk, that's a gift to me.
That's that's a gift that I

1110
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,320
needed.
That altered my life direction.

1111
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:32,840
And then I spent 10 years doing
a career that at that time I was

1112
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:37,720
applying to jobs in sales, to be
brand strategist, anything I was

1113
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,440
remotely qualified for and a
bunch of stuff that I wasn't.

1114
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:45,360
That's a gift to me.
Bob Bonifant gave me a gift.

1115
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,680
And after 10 years, sure, I
ended up kind of choosing a

1116
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,360
different path and not wanting
to do that kind of work anymore.

1117
00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:53,720
But at that moment in my life,
that's all I wanted to do.

1118
00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,240
Yep.
And him responding to that,

1119
00:59:56,240 --> 01:00:00,880
whether it was needed from the
reason of needing help or not or

1120
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,160
whatever, that was the gift.
Yeah.

1121
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:04,760
That's all I'd answer, man.
Yeah.

1122
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,800
The Goodwill has a big poster
and it says a hand up, not a

1123
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:08,760
hand out.
Yeah.

1124
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,240
So that that was it.
That was your hand up, hand up,

1125
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:14,760
Like, hey, just put a hand out.
Have you been able to do that

1126
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,360
for anyone else?
Yeah, that's awesome.

1127
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:18,720
I think so.
I try to.

1128
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,280
That's awesome.
You know, really.

1129
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:22,480
Here's a really good example for
you.

1130
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:28,280
This happened pretty recently.
A person I crossed paths was a

1131
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:33,120
student was doing working in
trades, wanted to get into

1132
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:35,720
sales.
So he took some classes to get

1133
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:41,640
into sales and he was working on
a CNC machine.

1134
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:44,280
Well, I have a friend that is
the president of a company that

1135
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,480
makes CNC machines and he has a
sales background.

1136
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:51,920
So the more we talked about it,
I ended up connecting the two

1137
01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:56,680
together and I didn't really
know the, I didn't know the the

1138
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,560
ceiling of the job.
And I was just like, I know my

1139
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:00,960
friend, it's going to be a good
gig.

1140
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,120
It's definitely going to be
something that he should do.

1141
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,080
So I had all the confidence in
the world that it would be a

1142
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,240
good direction, but I didn't do
a ton of due diligence.

1143
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:10,320
I was like, I know both of you,
here's something I can connect.

1144
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,520
And I did the classic teacher
thing.

1145
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:14,560
I was like, I'm not going to do
any of this for you.

1146
01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:17,240
Here's a phone number.
Call this phone number.

1147
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,920
The one thing I will do is I'll
text him and tell him to expect

1148
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:22,680
a call at some point and I left
it there.

1149
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,520
So you know, the onus is still
there, but.

1150
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,160
They got some skin in the gang,
yeah.

1151
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:31,880
So I guess I opened a proverbial
door, but for the most part it

1152
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,840
was that door was there anyway,
he just needed the numbers of

1153
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,720
the digit.
So he calls, meets with the guy

1154
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:39,880
a couple times, my friend ends
up hiring him.

1155
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:44,040
It's awesome.
And the best part about it is I

1156
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,720
find out afterwards, I do a
yearly fishing trip with my

1157
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:50,760
friend and we got to talking
about that job.

1158
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:54,240
And I can't remember if he
brought it up or anything, but

1159
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:57,280
he's like, do you know how like
how good of an opportunity that

1160
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:02,040
was for for that because the
student was a Unicorn for him

1161
01:02:02,040 --> 01:02:03,360
too.
So I don't want to seem like

1162
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,320
it's one way because like
everybody's looking for a 25

1163
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:10,040
year old who can talk to people
and do the thing we were talking

1164
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:12,040
about earlier.
Web face to face sell.

1165
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:13,920
That's what they need,
especially in trades.

1166
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:15,600
Like you got to be there.
You got to be with the person.

1167
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,960
So ultimately he says, do you
know how good of a job that was?

1168
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:22,600
It's like, no, not really.
Like I know you're doing all

1169
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:23,720
right.
It, it seems good.

1170
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:27,320
And he's like, he's going to
take over the territory for a

1171
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:30,880
person in three years, if all
goes according to plan and he

1172
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,880
does the process and he learns
how to do it, he's going to take

1173
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,880
over a territory that that guy
last year made $300,000.

1174
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,520
I was like, are you kidding?
No, I didn't.

1175
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:44,280
Maybe we should have talked
about me having the job.

1176
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:47,600
No, but man.
Is there a finder's fee?

1177
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,320
Yeah, I was like, that is
unbelievable.

1178
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:52,360
That's awesome.
Yeah.

1179
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:54,480
Like, here's a key, here's a
lock.

1180
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,080
I mean, here, if it works, it
works.

1181
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:59,480
Yeah, right.
Maybe that's not the right key.

1182
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,840
Yeah, maybe this is the wrong
lock, but the introduction, the

1183
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:06,480
introduction is, is is cool.
Just being able to do that.

1184
01:03:06,680 --> 01:03:09,160
I know you had that time in
career services, so I know,

1185
01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:13,120
Yeah, juggling that like, hey,
here's a person, here's a job,

1186
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,920
here's what are your thoughts
and who are and and having those

1187
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,040
connections.
It's got to be.

1188
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,720
I mean, that's awesome.
Yeah, it's invaluable.

1189
01:03:19,920 --> 01:03:24,400
And I guess that's, I'm glad you
asked that because that's, I try

1190
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:26,560
to keep that topic.
That's why I do what I do.

1191
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,920
And that's just it.
Like I said, I was much later in

1192
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:33,360
life when I came to the
awareness of that's how I got

1193
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,640
satisfaction was from stuff like
that.

1194
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:41,600
But now it's all I try to do.
I try to help support people get

1195
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:46,000
to whatever they want next.
Yes, you know, Yes, yes.

1196
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:51,560
I I had a friend that works, Mr.
Thomas, JT Jason Thomas works at

1197
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:56,080
Franklin Middle School.
He was just honored MLK like

1198
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:59,760
person of the year, something
like that for his he gives back.

1199
01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:03,240
He's got the empowering young
men program at Franklin Middle

1200
01:04:03,240 --> 01:04:05,920
School in the summertime where
he's teaching young men, you

1201
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:07,720
know, proper handshake, eye
contact.

1202
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,400
He gets them out to NWTC so that
they can see some possible

1203
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:15,400
career options in the future.
So and that goes back to, you

1204
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:19,360
know, us going to Brown deer and
being in Milwaukee and looking

1205
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,600
for that kind of guidance.
So he's now being able to give

1206
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:24,520
that kind of guidance for to
young people.

1207
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:27,200
So every once in awhile he'll
let me come talk to the kids

1208
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:31,800
and, and, and that that refills
my cup like it is like I'm I'm

1209
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,440
back to overflowing like it.
So he's like, you ever thought

1210
01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:37,840
about, you know, teaching in in
the middle school or grade

1211
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,480
school and it and that.
Turns out I have.

1212
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:42,200
A long time ago, I was going to
be a fourth grade teacher.

1213
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:47,880
A long time ago now, like now,
I'll leave that up to the young

1214
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:52,480
people that maybe that maybe
those in their 20s and 30s with

1215
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:55,080
a lot more patient.
No, I I've got the patience.

1216
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:59,760
I just, I think it would, it
would quickly become a job and I

1217
01:04:59,760 --> 01:05:02,560
don't I don't want it to be a
job to to talk to young kids

1218
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:05,000
like we were talking about
before this started just being

1219
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:09,640
at the YMCA.
This was last September and this

1220
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:14,760
kid, I won't tell his name.
He's, he's, he's, he can't do a

1221
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:17,160
layup.
So he's got his right hand layup

1222
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:20,040
down and like if you can work on
your left hand layup.

1223
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:23,240
So I'm like just start with step
with your right foot and then

1224
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:26,360
just lay it up with your left.
So we, we go from there and then

1225
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,800
we go back 2 steps and then we
go 1 dribble and we're, we're

1226
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:31,760
working on it for about 15
minutes.

1227
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,520
So some kids come in and they're
making fun of him.

1228
01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:36,320
You can't even do a left hand
layup right?

1229
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:39,560
So I'm like well you show them
how right So then this kids like

1230
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:42,240
throwing it over the back.
He's he can't do a left hand

1231
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:45,120
layup either.
So all of a sudden within 20

1232
01:05:45,120 --> 01:05:50,840
minutes time I've got 7 kids at
the YMCA on the left side doing

1233
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:54,240
1 dribble trying to do left hand
layups and then all of a sudden

1234
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:56,400
I'm like all right well let's go
to the right side and let's do a

1235
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:59,480
reverse to the left like this.
These are things that you can

1236
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,600
work on when you're in here by
yourself, but if you just come

1237
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:05,040
in here and play basketball and
dribble with your head down and

1238
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:07,320
Chuck up shots, you're never
going to get better.

1239
01:06:07,320 --> 01:06:09,160
These are the things you need to
do to get better.

1240
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:13,200
And then the next time I came,
he was like, coach, you got

1241
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,240
something else for me to work
on.

1242
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,640
And he goes to a different
school he's at, he's our rival

1243
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,920
that.
But it just, it felt good being

1244
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:23,800
able to his dad didn't have the
time or wasn't there at the YMCA

1245
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,640
with him.
So to be able to say, hey, yeah,

1246
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:30,200
work on this, you know what, 1
dribble pull up or you know

1247
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,960
what, just practice dribbling
with your head up, those kind of

1248
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,120
things.
To have basketball as an

1249
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,720
intermediary to something I
enjoy.

1250
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:39,280
And I can also try and give
back.

1251
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:41,400
But again, they have to
participate.

1252
01:06:41,600 --> 01:06:44,280
So when we talked about parts
participation troll, they can

1253
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:47,120
you don't know what you're
talking about and and ignore me.

1254
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:51,400
Or they can take 15 minutes and
work on it when they're at the

1255
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:55,720
YMCA just trying to have fun.
But I've got them one dribble, 2

1256
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:58,040
dribble working on thing that's
probably boring to them, but

1257
01:06:58,040 --> 01:07:01,920
hopefully make them better
giving back in those ways.

1258
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:04,360
I think for right now is, is
going to have to be enough

1259
01:07:04,360 --> 01:07:09,200
because I have, I have two high
schoolers, whereas teaching full

1260
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:13,480
time out of middle school or
running a program for middle

1261
01:07:13,480 --> 01:07:16,040
school youth.
I, I get to talk to a couple of

1262
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:20,200
students at the NEW school that
is out there by NWTC and that's

1263
01:07:20,200 --> 01:07:24,480
fun.
But but yeah, I just dipping in

1264
01:07:24,480 --> 01:07:26,200
and coming back out.
Dipping in and coming back out

1265
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,800
full time would be tough right
now.

1266
01:07:27,800 --> 01:07:30,680
It would be, it would be tough.
These kids are different.

1267
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:35,720
There's, there's, there's a
different whether COVID did it

1268
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:39,680
or whether social media does it
or is the instant gratification

1269
01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,240
it takes a lot more.
K12 be a tough gig, Tough

1270
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:48,120
anywhere from from K to 12 it
would be a tough.

1271
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:55,560
Gig yes, yes, yes, and I get it.
I get my boys got to be a school

1272
01:07:55,560 --> 01:08:00,120
at 7:28, they get out at 2:48.
That is a that's a full time

1273
01:08:00,120 --> 01:08:01,080
job.
Yep.

1274
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:07,400
For somebody 1514 years old and
they get a 20 minute lunch, even

1275
01:08:07,400 --> 01:08:09,800
at a full time job, you get 1/2
hour lunch, right?

1276
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:14,240
So it's, and then you're not
supposed to talk unless you know

1277
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,319
the instructors or the teachers
want you to.

1278
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:21,200
You are, it's a it's a tough,
it's a tough set up.

1279
01:08:21,359 --> 01:08:23,920
It's a tough set up.
So shout out to those teachers

1280
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:26,319
that yeah, three more weeks, you
guys.

1281
01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:29,359
Can make it.
Yeah.

1282
01:08:29,359 --> 01:08:34,680
And I think I think there's the,
you know, the people that I

1283
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:37,200
there's people that find energy
in it, like we're talking about

1284
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:40,200
finding energy in other things.
And I'm so glad they exist.

1285
01:08:40,359 --> 01:08:44,840
And I hope they just continue to
get rewarded as they should and

1286
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:51,720
valued as they should because if
we don't invest in our youth,

1287
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:56,600
why do we even exist?
Yeah, exactly what you know, and

1288
01:08:56,640 --> 01:09:00,120
you're right.
There are a lot of structural or

1289
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:03,399
procedural things within K12
education that I think could

1290
01:09:03,399 --> 01:09:09,000
probably adjust to be to fit a
12 year old kid better.

1291
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,520
But the ones who do find
satisfaction and that's why

1292
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,120
because they they do that stuff
whether they're told to or not,

1293
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:18,319
you know, like, or whether, you
know, I'm kind of one of those

1294
01:09:18,319 --> 01:09:19,920
ask forgiveness later people
too.

1295
01:09:20,439 --> 01:09:23,200
And OK, we'll figure it out.
Later on, but.

1296
01:09:23,319 --> 01:09:25,319
Yeah, absolutely.
That'd be a tough gig, man.

1297
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:27,040
That was another thing my
brother said.

1298
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:31,720
But so I'll say, I'll say my
third brother versus my 5th

1299
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:33,680
brother.
My third brother says, yeah,

1300
01:09:35,359 --> 01:09:39,080
like he always says, it's better
to ask forgiveness than it is to

1301
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:42,399
ask for permission.
My 5th brother said, whoa, whoa,

1302
01:09:42,399 --> 01:09:43,960
whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't get me in trouble.

1303
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:45,800
I never said that.
I never.

1304
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:50,800
I said it's easier.
I said it's easier to ask for

1305
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:52,680
forgiveness.
That is permission because he

1306
01:09:52,720 --> 01:09:54,279
was talking to his girl at the
time.

1307
01:09:54,279 --> 01:09:57,040
He's like, well, he said like,
no, no, no, no, don't get me in

1308
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:58,040
trouble.
I never said.

1309
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:00,120
I said it's easier.
I never said it's better.

1310
01:10:00,440 --> 01:10:03,520
So let's let's correct that.
It's it's it's easier.

1311
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:04,800
Oh, that's fun.
That's.

1312
01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:06,760
Fun.
So what about that same question

1313
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,080
back to you?
I don't want to lose the gift.

1314
01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:09,880
What's the best gift you ever
got?

1315
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:15,640
The time is always like, like
you said, like we've we've had

1316
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:19,560
like my 45th birthday, my
family, my wife set it up,

1317
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:21,560
surprised me.
Family come Milwaukee came up

1318
01:10:21,560 --> 01:10:26,120
like that was, you know, crazy
super surprise that gift, that

1319
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:28,880
unexpected.
But as far as like a thoughtful

1320
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:33,800
gift, the my brother that went
to college for my 40th birthday,

1321
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:38,360
he bought me a a leather bound
book that was blank because I've

1322
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:39,840
always talked about writing a
book.

1323
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:45,160
So he bought me that and I'm on
page 2.

1324
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:49,160
I mean, it's been 10 years.
I'm on page 2.

1325
01:10:49,440 --> 01:10:53,320
But to, to say, you know what?
I believe you're going to write

1326
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:55,560
it that that for me was
powerful.

1327
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:58,800
Like that reminds me, I'm going
to pull that thing out tonight

1328
01:10:58,800 --> 01:11:00,760
and I'm going to start.
I want to, I could use the

1329
01:11:00,760 --> 01:11:03,760
summers to write a little
something in it just to write

1330
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:05,800
down my thoughts.
Having such a big family.

1331
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:11,720
We've talked about the idea of
writing a book, kind of like the

1332
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:16,240
Bible is written one point in
time from all 10 different

1333
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:17,800
perspectives.
Cool.

1334
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:22,040
Idea I've lost a brother and
I've lost a sister my sister

1335
01:11:22,040 --> 01:11:25,480
passed away in old three, my
oldest sister and then my

1336
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:28,400
brother passed away in 2017.
So now there's there's eight of

1337
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,440
us left that would have
perspectives that we can write

1338
01:11:31,440 --> 01:11:35,080
about one single point in time
and they will all be factual.

1339
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:37,840
It will just be our perspective
of it right.

1340
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:43,720
So that that Christmas Day when
my mom was reading, what was

1341
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:45,800
there?
How did they feel about it or

1342
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:49,240
have any That won't be the time,
But we we've talked about, hey,

1343
01:11:49,480 --> 01:11:53,560
you write a chapter, you write a
chapter and and we put together

1344
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,320
get the book that way.
And we just brought that up

1345
01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:57,720
again a couple weeks ago.
We're just trying to figure out

1346
01:11:58,000 --> 01:11:59,920
what point in time.
You think it'll get legs?

1347
01:11:59,920 --> 01:12:03,680
Will they all do it, you think?
So I have another brother who is

1348
01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:07,360
a writer.
He's, he is, he writes.

1349
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:10,920
He's he ended up going back to
school at Lakeland, getting a

1350
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,560
bachelor's degree, getting his
master's degree from Lakeland.

1351
01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:17,280
Very, very intelligent, he
writes.

1352
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:22,440
He'll do his part for sure.
We're one out of eight, Michael.

1353
01:12:22,440 --> 01:12:23,520
We are two out of eight with
you.

1354
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:27,200
So that that if I can get my
part done, then we are recorded

1355
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:30,560
all the way there, right.
So that is, I mean you got chat

1356
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:32,800
GPTAI.
You mean we can we can get

1357
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:34,880
something written up.
How do I feel about when this

1358
01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:35,720
happened to me?
No.

1359
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:40,640
So yeah, working on that, that
that'll but that that gift, I I

1360
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:43,800
still have it again.
I'm, I'm still on page 2.

1361
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:50,400
My book that I was going to
write was the yin Yang of

1362
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:53,240
personal finance, The yin Yang
of personal finance when your

1363
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:55,280
personal finances are no longer
personal.

1364
01:12:55,640 --> 01:13:00,080
So like you've got your own
personal finances and then you

1365
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,200
get married or you get into a
long term relationship.

1366
01:13:02,760 --> 01:13:04,600
How do you go about making those
work?

1367
01:13:04,640 --> 01:13:08,680
Because they say, and when I say
they, they statistically they

1368
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:12,000
show 50% of the marriages end in
divorce.

1369
01:13:12,360 --> 01:13:15,760
Of those divorces, the majority
of the divorces come about due

1370
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:18,920
to money reasons.
So I don't think it's money

1371
01:13:19,360 --> 01:13:22,240
because I've seen plenty of poor
people that are crazy happy and

1372
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:23,960
in love and laughing and
everything.

1373
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,960
I think we stop communicating
about money.

1374
01:13:26,960 --> 01:13:31,360
That becomes a sticking point.
So trying to talk through having

1375
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:33,720
that conversation about money.
So I wanted to make it kind of

1376
01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:38,480
a, a workbook kind of a short,
short story about again, my

1377
01:13:38,480 --> 01:13:43,480
family members because we all,
most of us are married, been

1378
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:46,600
married for a very long time.
How did your finances work

1379
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:49,760
versus how do my finances work
and how do we communicate with

1380
01:13:49,760 --> 01:13:51,960
that significant other?
Because there's more than one

1381
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:53,840
way to do it.
It's not just what we have to

1382
01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:56,440
have a joint account or we have
to have separate finances.

1383
01:13:56,440 --> 01:13:59,640
So to have those, those kind of
conversations with one another,

1384
01:14:00,960 --> 01:14:03,200
it's tough.
People don't want to talk about

1385
01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:08,120
money that that is that is like
a taboo subject when money comes

1386
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:09,400
up.
I tell the story about a young

1387
01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:12,160
lady that was filing a
bankruptcy when I was at the

1388
01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:16,360
Fisk and she was 27.
She was 27 years old.

1389
01:14:16,360 --> 01:14:18,360
She had a 5 year old and a
three-year old daughter.

1390
01:14:18,720 --> 01:14:22,760
She had gone through a divorce
and she was financially

1391
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:24,840
struggling.
She had lots of credit card

1392
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,240
debt.
She said the hardest person for

1393
01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:31,000
her to tell was going to be her
mom because her mom was a single

1394
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:33,480
mom, because her dad passed away
when she was really, really

1395
01:14:33,480 --> 01:14:35,840
young.
She said my mom was a single mom

1396
01:14:35,920 --> 01:14:39,480
and I had everything I didn't my
sister and I didn't want for

1397
01:14:39,480 --> 01:14:41,880
anything.
Like we had a limo at prom and

1398
01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:45,480
we had the prom dress and I had
a car when I was 16 and I had I

1399
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:47,720
had everything I didn't want for
anything.

1400
01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:50,080
But I won't be able to do that
for my daughters.

1401
01:14:50,440 --> 01:14:54,560
And that was a big let down.
So she told her mom, Mom, I'm

1402
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:57,320
going to have to file a
bankruptcy because I'm so far

1403
01:14:57,320 --> 01:15:00,000
behind on credit card debt.
And her mom said, well, they're

1404
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,920
not that bad.
She's like, how would you know?

1405
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:05,320
She's like, I had to file a
bankruptcy.

1406
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:06,560
And she was like, mom, you had
to.

1407
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:09,680
She's like, yeah, you guys are
expensive kids, but that just

1408
01:15:09,680 --> 01:15:14,680
shows that we don't communicate
financially from generation to

1409
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:17,000
generation.
It's like you'd rather talk to

1410
01:15:17,000 --> 01:15:21,680
kids about say no to drugs and
alcohol and, and, and sex and

1411
01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:24,680
all of those taboo topics, but
you don't talk to them about

1412
01:15:24,680 --> 01:15:26,800
money because you're not
confident in money in yourself.

1413
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:31,400
So trying to give a manual to
that so that parents can talk to

1414
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:35,120
one another about finances and
then actually push that on to

1415
01:15:35,120 --> 01:15:37,200
the next generation.
So they're willing and ready to

1416
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:41,800
talk about finances to help
hopefully break the systemic

1417
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:46,000
generational poverty that goes
through generation after

1418
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,920
generation generation.
And it's not just about avocado

1419
01:15:48,920 --> 01:15:51,440
toast and it's not just about
the Starbucks.

1420
01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,400
It's about, you know, much
bigger things than that.

1421
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:56,640
And how do you have those
conversations when you're not

1422
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:59,240
confident, when there's the fear
of the unknown, when you don't

1423
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:04,560
have the knowledge, skills or
information that you that you

1424
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:07,120
want going into that
conversation.

1425
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:10,640
So putting it in a book on how
do you go about having those

1426
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,480
conversations?
Like is it just a Sunday night?

1427
01:16:13,640 --> 01:16:15,480
You know what, you make dinner,
We're going to have a

1428
01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:18,160
conversation on Sunday night.
What happened this week

1429
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:20,480
financially?
What are we looking forward to

1430
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:22,880
this next week?
But then don't talk about them

1431
01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:26,000
any other day because on Monday,
if you're looking at your

1432
01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:30,960
spouse's trunk and she bought
something or she, you know, went

1433
01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:34,080
out to lunch or he went out for
a beer with the guy, whatever it

1434
01:16:34,080 --> 01:16:37,080
might be.
If you're back and forth on

1435
01:16:37,080 --> 01:16:39,600
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, it
can't be tit for tat.

1436
01:16:39,760 --> 01:16:42,600
So we, we set a date or set a
Sunday night dinner.

1437
01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,800
We're going to talk about
finances and whether you bring

1438
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:47,400
the kids in, depending on their
age, you bring the kids in, have

1439
01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:50,320
those kind of conversations.
That's what the book is supposed

1440
01:16:50,320 --> 01:16:51,840
to be about.
So I'm on page 2.

1441
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:55,480
I'll get to the other hundred
and something pages over the

1442
01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:58,160
next couple of summers.
But, and maybe I change it up.

1443
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:01,600
It is what it is.
I, I do feel like education,

1444
01:17:03,520 --> 01:17:06,560
it's tough to pass it on,
especially in a book, because

1445
01:17:07,400 --> 01:17:12,000
people want things in YouTube
shorts or Facebook reels or

1446
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:15,960
Instagram 30 seconds.
So putting them in 32nd little

1447
01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:20,440
spurts and then maybe doing the
transcripts into a manual.

1448
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,040
OK, maybe that's how we do it.
Yeah.

1449
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:25,960
Maybe.
Yeah, I can't wait to teach Riv

1450
01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:28,840
about money.
Yeah, oh, he's going to have an

1451
01:17:28,840 --> 01:17:31,400
allowance so young and we're
going to put a percentage in the

1452
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:34,520
in the in the savings and this
is going to be to buy stuff.

1453
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:36,720
Absolutely.
But it is tough conversation.

1454
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:41,240
Sam, has that changed at all?
Like do your high school age

1455
01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:44,800
kids, do they get any other
outside of the home?

1456
01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:52,000
I'm saying do they get any in
like required or at least access

1457
01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:56,560
to any type of financial
literacy financial?

1458
01:17:56,560 --> 01:17:59,360
Force that I think my son will
be allowed to take next year as

1459
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:04,880
a senior.
I have written a personal

1460
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:10,040
finance class that Shano high
School was using and a couple

1461
01:18:10,040 --> 01:18:14,320
other high school De Pere I
think was using it and another

1462
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:16,960
through the college.
But it you don't get college

1463
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:20,040
credit for it, but it is a one
credit course that they can

1464
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:22,320
take.
There are financial literacy,

1465
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:27,360
but it's usually an elective or
it makes it difficult for them

1466
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:31,880
to if they're not working and
they don't have a paycheck that

1467
01:18:31,880 --> 01:18:34,000
just got cut by 30% because of
taxes.

1468
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:35,920
They don't it's not relevant to
them.

1469
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:38,120
So then it just goes over their
head.

1470
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:42,240
So my older son actually took a
class his junior year high

1471
01:18:42,240 --> 01:18:48,400
school, but that was 15 years
ago and it was check writing.

1472
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:52,320
So it was, I mean it was so it
was so outdated like.

1473
01:18:52,320 --> 01:18:53,720
Here's where you signed it.
Here's where you.

1474
01:18:53,760 --> 01:18:56,160
Signed right, where did where
did they learn about

1475
01:18:56,160 --> 01:19:00,120
cryptocurrency and Bitcoin and
and and how they can monetize

1476
01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:04,440
social media and where can they
learn about financing and budget

1477
01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:08,400
that that kind of course it's
probably there, but it's an

1478
01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:10,600
elective.
It's not a required course.

1479
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:14,160
Got it unfortunately.
And then, you know, it comes

1480
01:19:14,160 --> 01:19:16,600
back to the home.
Yeah, absolutely.

1481
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,240
And I know that's a place,
that's a place your ruber

1482
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:20,520
passion, but how long did you do
that?

1483
01:19:20,520 --> 01:19:21,960
How long were you financial
coach?

1484
01:19:22,440 --> 01:19:25,560
Eight years, eight years, yeah.
So between student support

1485
01:19:25,560 --> 01:19:29,000
services and then we have that
emergency fund where we talked

1486
01:19:29,000 --> 01:19:32,320
to people about their financial
situations before just throwing

1487
01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:34,720
money at any problem.
Kind of talk through resources

1488
01:19:34,720 --> 01:19:37,920
and what kind of things are you
eligible for in the community?

1489
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,960
Because there's a lot going on
here in Brown County that people

1490
01:19:40,960 --> 01:19:43,600
need to know about South trying
to get that information out as

1491
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:46,200
well.
So if again, it wasn't like

1492
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:49,240
work, it was like I, I, I went
somewhere to do what I wanted to

1493
01:19:49,240 --> 01:19:50,800
do.
Like it was that that it was

1494
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:53,000
that much fun.
So, and then I had a great, you

1495
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:55,680
know, my Co workers.
That's the hardest part about

1496
01:19:55,840 --> 01:19:59,880
moving into teaching is, is not
having the day-to-day contact

1497
01:19:59,880 --> 01:20:03,200
with, with Co workers that I'm a
people person.

1498
01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:07,280
So so going into class, talking
to the students and then.

1499
01:20:07,960 --> 01:20:09,880
You know, looking around for
your teammates and everybody's

1500
01:20:09,880 --> 01:20:12,440
on a different schedule is
tough, but other than that, it's

1501
01:20:12,440 --> 01:20:13,320
great.
Yeah, it's great.

1502
01:20:13,440 --> 01:20:15,400
It's great.
And that that amount of time

1503
01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:17,960
gave you a bunch of material for
the for your book.

1504
01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:21,600
Oh yeah, for sure, for sure that
I leaving the names out.

1505
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,720
But man, I've got stories.
I've got stories, I've got

1506
01:20:24,720 --> 01:20:27,320
stories.
Yeah, yeah.

1507
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:29,800
I think you know.
You ever thought about writing a

1508
01:20:29,800 --> 01:20:31,920
book?
Yeah, yeah.

1509
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,120
You know, recently, recently I
thought about writing a

1510
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:36,360
children's book.
I think that'd be fun.

1511
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:40,640
And through the lens, like I
thought about like a a

1512
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:44,200
geographic children's book, like
through the podcast, writing a

1513
01:20:44,200 --> 01:20:48,080
children's book about Wisconsin,
I thought would be pretty cool.

1514
01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:50,400
But yeah, I love writing.
I love it.

1515
01:20:50,920 --> 01:20:58,360
I have 19,000 irons in the fire
at all times, so I doubt, at

1516
01:20:58,360 --> 01:21:01,560
least at the current moment, I
don't see it coming to fruition.

1517
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:03,320
But absolutely, I've thought
about it.

1518
01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:05,640
Yeah, I love writing.
Put some words down on the paper

1519
01:21:05,640 --> 01:21:08,000
and just keep it going.
And that's when we talk about

1520
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:10,680
consistency.
That was what that's where the 2

1521
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:14,400
pages came from because I was
going to write 2 pages per week

1522
01:21:15,080 --> 01:21:17,360
and then give myself two weeks
off like every job does.

1523
01:21:17,360 --> 01:21:19,880
But then I would have 100 pages
at the end of the year.

1524
01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:23,480
So that's where the 1st 2 pages
came in and you fall off and the

1525
01:21:23,480 --> 01:21:25,520
second week you don't do it.
And then by the third week it's

1526
01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:29,560
like, I should get back to it.
Next week I'm going to get back

1527
01:21:29,560 --> 01:21:32,760
to it.
And this this summer, Back to

1528
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,440
it, Back to it.
You know what I did do for a

1529
01:21:36,440 --> 01:21:40,480
while that was really rewarding
and helpful that I stopped?

1530
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:42,280
It's one of those things I fell
off, but I want to.

1531
01:21:42,280 --> 01:21:45,200
I'm going to start again.
I was doing this like

1532
01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:49,120
manifestation journal every
morning I would write the same

1533
01:21:49,120 --> 01:21:52,480
like 4 to 6 sentences depending
on you know, what was going on

1534
01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:55,120
in life.
I would write the same things

1535
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,560
and I would know what I was
going to write already.

1536
01:21:56,560 --> 01:22:01,120
So it was just like the act of
writing, but it was more like

1537
01:22:01,120 --> 01:22:04,200
meditation than anything,
focusing where your attention is

1538
01:22:04,200 --> 01:22:10,520
going to lie.
And it was both personal and and

1539
01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:16,240
career related or goal related,
I guess you'd say all

1540
01:22:16,240 --> 01:22:19,280
all-encompassing.
So like whether it was about

1541
01:22:19,280 --> 01:22:22,520
being a good dad or a good
husband or having the podcast

1542
01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:27,960
succeed or do well in creating a
class or whatever it was, it was

1543
01:22:27,960 --> 01:22:32,200
super helpful.
And then, you know, it's funny

1544
01:22:32,560 --> 01:22:35,200
and it puts it into perspective
of life in general for a lot of

1545
01:22:35,200 --> 01:22:38,480
people, that all it took was a
little bit of change in our

1546
01:22:38,480 --> 01:22:43,160
day-to-day routine where I had a
lot of space for it.

1547
01:22:43,160 --> 01:22:47,120
Because I do the mornings with
Riv and he was sleeping till

1548
01:22:47,120 --> 01:22:50,640
7:00 every day.
So like, I'm an early riser.

1549
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:54,280
So I would get up and then I'd
do this and it would give me

1550
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:57,280
time to think and then watch the
monitor until he woke up.

1551
01:22:57,640 --> 01:22:59,240
And then we'd kick it.
We'd read books.

1552
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:01,480
He's into sharks, whatever.
Like we'd read his books in the

1553
01:23:01,480 --> 01:23:05,600
morning and then now for the
past little while, he's been

1554
01:23:05,600 --> 01:23:09,560
waking up super early, like 5:30
to 6:15, usually my wake up

1555
01:23:09,560 --> 01:23:11,320
time, right?
So it's like, all right, looks

1556
01:23:11,320 --> 01:23:12,920
like we're up together, buddy,
we're here.

1557
01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:15,040
Yep.
And then I haven't fitted in

1558
01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:21,080
another part of the day, right.
And now yet another of 1000

1559
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:24,360
things that keeps life in
perspective for me because a lot

1560
01:23:24,360 --> 01:23:30,120
of people that do what we do,
it's too easy to say, oh, we'll

1561
01:23:30,120 --> 01:23:31,080
just do it.
Yeah.

1562
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:34,240
Or why don't you just it's not
back to the it's not that hard.

1563
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:36,120
It's not that hard.
Just do it.

1564
01:23:36,240 --> 01:23:40,480
Yeah, of course it isn't hard.
I was writing 6 lines a day, but

1565
01:23:40,480 --> 01:23:44,600
it fit in my life really well.
And now I've got to re

1566
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:49,760
prioritize everything to find
time to do this because I'm a

1567
01:23:49,760 --> 01:23:52,040
very routine person, right,
Right.

1568
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:56,560
And that puts it into
perspective for you as an

1569
01:23:56,560 --> 01:24:01,080
educator, as a father, as a
human with some empathy about

1570
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,640
the people around you.
Absolutely.

1571
01:24:02,960 --> 01:24:05,720
What's that person doing that's
not that easy?

1572
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:09,760
And how can I make it easy?
Because it's way too easy for

1573
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:14,040
other teachers and and stuff to
just say they just don't want to

1574
01:24:14,040 --> 01:24:15,480
do it.
That's not the case.

1575
01:24:15,480 --> 01:24:17,480
It wouldn't be here if.
That was the case.

1576
01:24:17,480 --> 01:24:19,880
I told the student yesterday.
I said thanks for showing up.

1577
01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:22,040
And he was like, well, I mean,
we pay for the class.

1578
01:24:22,040 --> 01:24:26,480
I'm like, yes, but you still
don't have to show up like you

1579
01:24:26,480 --> 01:24:29,160
choose each time.
And he was like, well, you're

1580
01:24:29,160 --> 01:24:30,760
welcome.
Like he didn't know what to say

1581
01:24:30,760 --> 01:24:32,560
to it.
I'm like, I'd because I'd be

1582
01:24:32,560 --> 01:24:34,920
talking to some empty chairs if
you didn't show up.

1583
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:39,000
So I appreciate you showing up.
And I forget the young lady's

1584
01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:42,840
name that came in talking to us
about hips and and high impact

1585
01:24:42,840 --> 01:24:45,720
practices and those things and
saying all the students these

1586
01:24:45,720 --> 01:24:47,600
days aren't motivated.
Well, they're there.

1587
01:24:47,680 --> 01:24:50,960
If they made it to the classroom
now it's on you.

1588
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:55,040
Like they if they if, if it took
their motivation to get there.

1589
01:24:55,040 --> 01:24:58,280
Now, what are you doing to
encourage your motivation so.

1590
01:24:58,280 --> 01:25:01,960
Yeah, here's like.
Your your one takeover, your one

1591
01:25:01,960 --> 01:25:04,440
positive and what like that,
right?

1592
01:25:04,480 --> 01:25:08,080
I, I stole a little bit of it.
I just like I said, like

1593
01:25:08,080 --> 01:25:10,680
yesterday, I said I watched a
movie this weekend.

1594
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:14,800
It was a low budget film and and
the kid was a guy was wrongly

1595
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:19,160
accused of unaliving his own
kids.

1596
01:25:19,160 --> 01:25:22,960
So he was on death row.
OK, which made me think, hey,

1597
01:25:22,960 --> 01:25:26,080
students, if you have one last
meal, what would it be?

1598
01:25:28,320 --> 01:25:31,440
I just asked some silly
questions like if you have one

1599
01:25:31,440 --> 01:25:35,320
last meal, what would it be
like, you know, stir, serve and

1600
01:25:35,320 --> 01:25:37,040
serve for pizza.
I might.

1601
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:39,040
I mean, it can't just be any
kind of pizza.

1602
01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:42,920
Like, what kind of what would it
be like having that thought?

1603
01:25:43,360 --> 01:25:46,800
And it's just silly enough to
get them talking, right?

1604
01:25:46,800 --> 01:25:48,880
It does.
There's no wrong answer.

1605
01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:51,600
It's just let's just get you
talking to start the day.

1606
01:25:52,120 --> 01:25:55,000
Yeah, absolutely.
So here's one for you and then

1607
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:57,120
maybe we'll end on that.
We'll end on the final meals.

1608
01:25:57,120 --> 01:26:00,800
That sounds fun, but recently,
here's one.

1609
01:26:00,920 --> 01:26:02,600
Here's the things that get to
me.

1610
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:10,480
All online class student does
the textbook.

1611
01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:14,240
It was a McGraw Hill thing, so
they had smart books and quizzes

1612
01:26:14,240 --> 01:26:16,960
throughout the whole class.
Does every single one, if I

1613
01:26:16,960 --> 01:26:24,080
remember right, does them all,
doesn't do any of the project or

1614
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:28,040
discussion.
Well, you get to week 6 of an 8

1615
01:26:28,040 --> 01:26:32,440
week class.
Why are you still going to do

1616
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:36,160
the textbook work but not the
other work?

1617
01:26:36,600 --> 01:26:41,000
Knowing that it's you're going
to fail like you're going to

1618
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:42,640
fail, you haven't done anything
else.

1619
01:26:43,960 --> 01:26:47,040
And like that's the type of
stuff that gets my wheels

1620
01:26:47,040 --> 01:26:49,960
turning like that one, ones that
I can't even conceive.

1621
01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:52,520
Like, OK, plenty of people mail
it in.

1622
01:26:52,840 --> 01:26:54,720
If you're going to mail it in,
mail it in.

1623
01:26:54,720 --> 01:26:56,920
Mail it in, right?
But why?

1624
01:26:57,120 --> 01:27:01,320
Why did that person finish that?
And what could I have done

1625
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:04,440
differently?
Because if they finish that, how

1626
01:27:04,440 --> 01:27:08,680
what was that person's carrot to
say, OK, what?

1627
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:11,000
You're learning that in the
text?

1628
01:27:11,000 --> 01:27:12,960
Why not just put it into
practice a little bit?

1629
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:17,760
You have to do type some stuff
and pass you paid to be here

1630
01:27:17,760 --> 01:27:22,840
back to the beginning.
So in my eyes, what I see a lot

1631
01:27:22,840 --> 01:27:26,360
of people do is just chalk that
up and be like, that's going to

1632
01:27:26,360 --> 01:27:28,160
happen.
And I'm sure that, you know,

1633
01:27:28,440 --> 01:27:31,720
it's normal to feel that way to
just because we can't control it

1634
01:27:32,440 --> 01:27:35,040
on the other side of it.
I'm like, what, what could I?

1635
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:39,160
What's the little lever that I
could have pulled to start that

1636
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:41,000
off?
That's the question to ask and

1637
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:45,000
that's being newer instructors
that that question stood like

1638
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:46,880
because I know I'm not perfect,
not even close.

1639
01:27:46,880 --> 01:27:50,440
Like, I mean, I got so much to
learn, but going into the

1640
01:27:50,440 --> 01:27:54,360
summer, like what could I have
done differently?

1641
01:27:54,360 --> 01:28:00,480
What I had business ethics and I
think I had six out of like 15

1642
01:28:00,600 --> 01:28:04,440
students participating.
I don't, I don't know where

1643
01:28:04,440 --> 01:28:09,240
those other nine were.
I don't know, do I reach out by

1644
01:28:09,240 --> 01:28:12,160
phone?
Like what what what do I do next

1645
01:28:12,160 --> 01:28:14,160
semester?
Or do they just sign up for a

1646
01:28:14,160 --> 01:28:17,560
class?
I have no idea.

1647
01:28:17,560 --> 01:28:19,440
But again, looking inward like
what?

1648
01:28:19,840 --> 01:28:23,800
What communication did I miss or
what outbound communication?

1649
01:28:23,800 --> 01:28:27,840
What video did I not send or
what did my video say that said

1650
01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:30,880
the wrong thing?
Continuing to look inward

1651
01:28:30,880 --> 01:28:34,080
because where else can you look
right?

1652
01:28:34,200 --> 01:28:35,360
That's.
What we?

1653
01:28:35,360 --> 01:28:38,200
Can control that's what we can
control that circle of control

1654
01:28:38,200 --> 01:28:40,680
is is what we do.
So that's what I'm heading into

1655
01:28:40,680 --> 01:28:45,040
for the summer is the two
classes that I'm mainly going to

1656
01:28:45,040 --> 01:28:47,560
focus on.
I have my IDP this weekend and

1657
01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:51,400
just and focusing on what I can
do as an instructor to get

1658
01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:58,920
better to to to to to to ignite
that pilot of motivation in the

1659
01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:03,560
students and then keep that
motivation because stumble into

1660
01:29:03,560 --> 01:29:07,960
the finish line this last week
was a it was a long one.

1661
01:29:07,960 --> 01:29:10,280
It was like I said, the
presentations were a little

1662
01:29:10,280 --> 01:29:13,880
different.
It was just I'm ready for the

1663
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:16,920
summer, I'm ready for the
summer, I'm ready to recharge,

1664
01:29:16,920 --> 01:29:20,000
I'm ready to get re inspired.
I'm ready to to go back to

1665
01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:23,160
learning versus teaching.
So filling up my cup and maybe

1666
01:29:23,160 --> 01:29:25,840
that's getting involved with the
empowering young men or getting

1667
01:29:25,840 --> 01:29:30,080
back to working with the the my,
my, my basketball players and

1668
01:29:30,080 --> 01:29:32,840
working with with them.
Maybe that'll help recharging.

1669
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:34,640
But I'm ready to be recharged at
this point.

1670
01:29:34,800 --> 01:29:36,520
Absolutely.
What do you do to recharge?

1671
01:29:37,840 --> 01:29:40,760
Go as far into the wilderness as
I can.

1672
01:29:41,640 --> 01:29:43,240
That's that's my thing.
I love it.

1673
01:29:43,480 --> 01:29:46,640
I love it.
Get in touch with nature.

1674
01:29:47,040 --> 01:29:48,560
That's that's what I do to
recharge.

1675
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:50,720
That's when I feel the most
alive man.

1676
01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:58,760
When I'm when I'm far away from
day-to-day man made things

1677
01:29:58,760 --> 01:30:01,560
because a lot of it like, don't
get me wrong, there's a

1678
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:04,160
creature, comforts are great in
life and it's good and I'm

1679
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:05,400
happy.
Everything exists.

1680
01:30:05,720 --> 01:30:13,160
At the same time, I think a lot
of things are a facade of sorts

1681
01:30:13,640 --> 01:30:20,160
that mask a lot of different
feelings, good and bad.

1682
01:30:20,600 --> 01:30:29,280
And when I feel alive is when I
am on a trout stream with a

1683
01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:33,920
house that that or without a
house within 5 miles or like

1684
01:30:36,760 --> 01:30:40,000
whatever, walking down a hiking
trail with heading towards a

1685
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:41,800
beautiful view or something like
that.

1686
01:30:41,840 --> 01:30:43,840
So that's what I do to recharge.
That's awesome.

1687
01:30:44,080 --> 01:30:48,120
Yeah.
That's where I get energy and

1688
01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:50,560
stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah.

1689
01:30:50,600 --> 01:30:52,400
That's awesome.
Yeah, What about you?

1690
01:30:53,160 --> 01:30:54,080
Well, you just kind of went
through.

1691
01:30:54,080 --> 01:30:57,800
It I'm pretty the opposite.
I, I, I mean, I've a little

1692
01:30:57,800 --> 01:31:00,200
basketball, I mean.
I do miss whooping.

1693
01:31:00,360 --> 01:31:02,440
I love, I love the bouncing
ball.

1694
01:31:04,080 --> 01:31:07,560
So this summer I I know my
family likes to travel and this

1695
01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:10,760
might be our last one because my
son will be 18 in September so

1696
01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:12,280
he may not want to go with us
next year.

1697
01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:14,800
So we'll probably try and take a
road trip somewhere.

1698
01:31:16,800 --> 01:31:21,360
Bob likes to go to the Dakotas
and like, you get away from all

1699
01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:22,520
this, man.
It's like just.

1700
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:26,120
But I, I don't know, maybe go
visit some family.

1701
01:31:26,120 --> 01:31:31,040
I can make the trip through
Virginia, Maryland, then Georgia

1702
01:31:31,240 --> 01:31:34,600
and Texas.
Arizona's a forest.

1703
01:31:34,600 --> 01:31:36,920
They're all over.
Yeah, I got people in Arizona.

1704
01:31:36,920 --> 01:31:40,760
And then make our way back.
But that'll be a nice 2-3 week

1705
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:44,280
drive and we have we have pets
and it's so.

1706
01:31:44,920 --> 01:31:46,800
That does not sound recharging
to me.

1707
01:31:46,800 --> 01:31:50,240
It sounds valuable and good and
something you should do, but

1708
01:31:50,240 --> 01:31:53,960
that is not a reason.
I love, I love driving, I do.

1709
01:31:54,040 --> 01:31:56,240
I like just being on the open
Rd.

1710
01:31:57,000 --> 01:31:59,720
I love having my family in the
box with me.

1711
01:31:59,760 --> 01:32:03,200
Like there is no room to go
running high from this it is

1712
01:32:03,520 --> 01:32:05,920
you're here with me.
You got to listen to me, my high

1713
01:32:05,920 --> 01:32:10,600
pitched singing, my vibrato.
They are.

1714
01:32:10,640 --> 01:32:12,240
They are punished by it all.
So.

1715
01:32:12,240 --> 01:32:14,680
You know, I'm interested to see
how that plays out because I

1716
01:32:14,680 --> 01:32:18,320
think in a lot of ways like
that, we're similar.

1717
01:32:18,440 --> 01:32:23,440
And I'm sure there's going to
come a point in Riv's life where

1718
01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:25,880
he's not going to want to hear
me talk.

1719
01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:28,400
And he's like, right now, he's
done.

1720
01:32:29,160 --> 01:32:31,720
There's going to come a point.
And I'm sure both of our

1721
01:32:31,720 --> 01:32:33,480
students feel like that way at
times, too.

1722
01:32:33,480 --> 01:32:36,240
We're boy, can I walk out the
door?

1723
01:32:38,520 --> 01:32:41,560
But that's OK.
So final meal, man, final meal.

1724
01:32:41,640 --> 01:32:52,400
Oh man, for me, I'm simple
pizza, should I say rupees or or

1725
01:32:52,400 --> 01:32:58,720
nice hamburger?
Just a cheeseburger, Some fries.

1726
01:32:59,200 --> 01:33:04,080
I love lasagna though.
I make a decent lasagna whenever

1727
01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:05,200
I cook.
I aim for edible.

1728
01:33:05,480 --> 01:33:08,560
I make a decent lasagna and that
will probably take longer, so

1729
01:33:08,560 --> 01:33:11,520
maybe I'd make a lasagna to
extend my life a little bit.

1730
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:15,120
Little lasagna.
Garlic bread.

1731
01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:17,200
Oh man.
I love lasagna too.

1732
01:33:17,200 --> 01:33:18,040
Yeah.
Yeah.

1733
01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:23,280
So yeah, probably that that the
the craziest answer.

1734
01:33:23,280 --> 01:33:29,920
I got this this, he said.
Mahi, Mahi and chicken fingers.

1735
01:33:33,160 --> 01:33:35,280
Those would be his two.
He wanted.

1736
01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:38,640
They pair perfect fish.
Yeah, I'm like together.

1737
01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:41,960
He's like, I that those are
that's what I would order.

1738
01:33:41,960 --> 01:33:44,240
I'm like, I had some Mac and
cheese orders.

1739
01:33:44,360 --> 01:33:46,440
Like they they they kept this
pretty simple.

1740
01:33:46,840 --> 01:33:48,720
It was, you know, what do you
do?

1741
01:33:48,920 --> 01:33:51,280
What do you do?
That's interesting.

1742
01:33:51,720 --> 01:33:54,280
You know what it's interesting
is that we I would cook it too.

1743
01:33:54,560 --> 01:33:59,080
I would cook my last meal, which
I don't think a lot of people

1744
01:33:59,080 --> 01:34:00,560
would.
If I think about that answer,

1745
01:34:00,560 --> 01:34:02,560
it's it's wild that you went in
that direction.

1746
01:34:02,560 --> 01:34:05,120
I would cook my last meal.
I would make it's a meal I

1747
01:34:05,120 --> 01:34:07,280
called called confetti chicken.
Confetti.

1748
01:34:08,040 --> 01:34:12,080
Chicken and I I joke that it's
why my why, why my wife married

1749
01:34:12,080 --> 01:34:16,240
me That's because I made it
She's a foodie and it's the

1750
01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:19,040
first meal I cooked it was like
our second or third date.

1751
01:34:19,120 --> 01:34:24,480
I cooked that and it's one of my
favorite things to eat, but it

1752
01:34:24,480 --> 01:34:30,200
would be more the you know what
it could be now they're boy now.

1753
01:34:30,200 --> 01:34:33,800
OK, so that's what happens when
you insert a child into the

1754
01:34:33,800 --> 01:34:36,840
equation because I would do it
purely because it's one of my

1755
01:34:36,840 --> 01:34:38,480
favorite foods, but also the
memory of it.

1756
01:34:38,480 --> 01:34:40,440
Like I could relish it and go
back into the moment.

1757
01:34:41,280 --> 01:34:49,160
Now it potentially would be ribs
now because it that was the like

1758
01:34:49,160 --> 01:34:52,960
we have this classic like
everybody has that one or so

1759
01:34:52,960 --> 01:34:55,280
many people have that one baby
picture where they're like

1760
01:34:55,760 --> 01:34:58,280
chopped up with all kinds of
food for River.

1761
01:34:58,280 --> 01:35:01,520
It's a it's this BBQ sauce rib
that he had.

1762
01:35:01,520 --> 01:35:03,800
It's one of the first, it might
be the first meat he ate.

1763
01:35:03,800 --> 01:35:05,640
That's awesome.
It's like 6 months old and he

1764
01:35:05,640 --> 01:35:09,240
still loves ribs, right.
So I might do ribs now, but I

1765
01:35:09,240 --> 01:35:10,880
think it'd still be confetti
chicken.

1766
01:35:10,880 --> 01:35:14,360
It's like a pasta, like kind of
like a Cajun cream sauce with

1767
01:35:14,360 --> 01:35:17,680
bell Peppers and onions.
And I'm hungry thinking I'm yes.

1768
01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:19,200
Can I have one more question for
you?

1769
01:35:19,200 --> 01:35:22,440
Yeah, we're making a movie about
my life.

1770
01:35:23,280 --> 01:35:27,040
Who plays your role?
Who do you want to play your

1771
01:35:27,040 --> 01:35:29,600
role in the movie?
A movie about your life.

1772
01:35:29,600 --> 01:35:32,520
Anybody's life, but just it's a
movie about our lives.

1773
01:35:32,640 --> 01:35:34,560
OK, who do you want to play your
role?

1774
01:35:36,600 --> 01:35:44,840
Who would play me in a movie?
Tell me yours first.

1775
01:35:44,840 --> 01:35:46,240
I need a second to think about
this.

1776
01:35:46,840 --> 01:35:49,480
If budget permits, I would allow
Will Smith to play me I.

1777
01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:54,080
Would allow it.
If my budget's a little short,

1778
01:35:54,080 --> 01:35:58,360
I'm I'm going with Shamar Moore
from yeah, from Criminal Minds.

1779
01:35:58,360 --> 01:36:00,360
Criminal Minds.
Yeah, I'm going that route.

1780
01:36:02,080 --> 01:36:08,080
And then if, if those two are
busy on a project, I would go.

1781
01:36:08,080 --> 01:36:12,120
Michael Ealy only because his
real name apparently is Michael

1782
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:14,920
Brown.
He changed his last name to Ely

1783
01:36:14,920 --> 01:36:19,600
and he would know him from Think
Like a Man movie.

1784
01:36:19,600 --> 01:36:22,800
I I if if you've seen that Kevin
Hart movie, you would think like

1785
01:36:22,800 --> 01:36:24,720
a man.
But what else did he play in?

1786
01:36:26,080 --> 01:36:29,880
A lesser known actor than Shamar
Moore and Will Smith, Again

1787
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:36,880
depending on the budget.
OK, I'd probably go not so much

1788
01:36:36,880 --> 01:36:40,600
anymore, but for a while.
And it was right around like the

1789
01:36:40,600 --> 01:36:43,120
American Sniper time.
People just told me that Bradley

1790
01:36:43,120 --> 01:36:44,120
I.
Was gonna say Bradley Cooper.

1791
01:36:44,120 --> 01:36:44,840
Were you really?
I was.

1792
01:36:45,160 --> 01:36:46,560
That's why I asked.
Yeah.

1793
01:36:46,720 --> 01:36:48,080
Is it really?
That was why I asked.

1794
01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:51,600
Bradley Cooper would be like the
visual doppelganger, I think,

1795
01:36:51,680 --> 01:36:53,680
and we got probably got a
similar vibe.

1796
01:36:53,960 --> 01:36:58,560
I would think maybe not an
American Sniper, but I I think

1797
01:36:58,560 --> 01:37:02,280
in real life, maybe a similar
vibe, but I think I'm I'm

1798
01:37:02,280 --> 01:37:04,680
thinking too deep about it.
I'm thinking someone who could

1799
01:37:04,680 --> 01:37:07,040
really.
The.

1800
01:37:07,040 --> 01:37:10,440
Complexity get the yeah, like
the introspectivity of it.

1801
01:37:11,480 --> 01:37:16,520
So I think I'd OK, so Bradley
Cooper's logical answer.

1802
01:37:16,800 --> 01:37:20,520
I think I'd say Daniel Day
Lewis, though Daniel Day Lewis.

1803
01:37:20,520 --> 01:37:23,720
And that's purely from a vain
perspective because he probably

1804
01:37:23,720 --> 01:37:28,160
has far more layers than I do.
But Daniel Day Lewis, just

1805
01:37:28,160 --> 01:37:31,160
because I think he would, he'd
really lean into the role and

1806
01:37:31,200 --> 01:37:36,120
and find all angles of me where
I think is Bradley could portray

1807
01:37:36,120 --> 01:37:37,960
it.
And we have the same name out of

1808
01:37:37,960 --> 01:37:39,600
the same thing.
I think he'd do a good enough

1809
01:37:39,600 --> 01:37:41,280
job.
But Daniel Day Lewis, I think.

1810
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:43,800
Who would play your wife?
Last question.

1811
01:37:47,640 --> 01:37:53,640
Oh, oh, why can't I think of her
name right now?

1812
01:37:53,640 --> 01:37:56,280
Eva Mendez?
Eva Mendez would probably play

1813
01:37:56,280 --> 01:37:59,200
my wife, I think.
Awesome, awesome, awesome.

1814
01:37:59,560 --> 01:38:02,720
Who would play your wife?
We've changed so many times.

1815
01:38:02,720 --> 01:38:04,960
So she she kind of reminds me of
Wonder Woman.

1816
01:38:04,960 --> 01:38:06,960
We dressed up as Superman in
Wonder Woman one year.

1817
01:38:06,960 --> 01:38:12,760
So I, I always, I used to think
like a Lynda Carter type person.

1818
01:38:13,360 --> 01:38:16,680
Xena, Princess Warrior was her
for a little while back in

1819
01:38:16,680 --> 01:38:19,560
college.
Nowadays we would probably go.

1820
01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:27,240
I have to get back to you now.
The jury's out.

1821
01:38:27,480 --> 01:38:29,040
She's changed so much.
She's.

1822
01:38:29,280 --> 01:38:31,720
That's a hard.
Yeah, that's way harder than me.

1823
01:38:31,920 --> 01:38:34,840
I I I threw that out there just
because I thought of that one

1824
01:38:34,840 --> 01:38:37,080
time.
She'd like, and it's probably my

1825
01:38:37,080 --> 01:38:39,040
wife likes the Fast and the
Furious movies.

1826
01:38:39,480 --> 01:38:42,240
Yeah, I don't.
We did Salma Hayek for my wife

1827
01:38:42,240 --> 01:38:46,800
at one point, which was funny
because we were on vacation and

1828
01:38:47,160 --> 01:38:50,560
there was there were guys on
stage and there was a contest on

1829
01:38:50,600 --> 01:38:52,960
Mr. Ryu contest.
And they said, you know, like

1830
01:38:52,960 --> 01:38:56,440
who it was, your dream girl or
whatever.

1831
01:38:56,440 --> 01:38:58,600
And and the one guy said Salma
Hayek.

1832
01:38:58,960 --> 01:39:02,560
And then they sent him, they
sent all of the people in the

1833
01:39:02,560 --> 01:39:06,440
audience to find the person they
thought closest represented

1834
01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:09,360
their movie star act.
And I knew he I was like, he's

1835
01:39:09,360 --> 01:39:11,480
going to pick you.
And then he came over and tried

1836
01:39:11,480 --> 01:39:12,640
to get my wife to go up with
her.

1837
01:39:12,680 --> 01:39:16,920
And she's like, no way, no way.
So that that was because we used

1838
01:39:16,920 --> 01:39:19,040
to say Salma Hayek all the time.
Yeah, that's funny.

1839
01:39:19,120 --> 01:39:21,120
That's funny.
I don't know what the I don't

1840
01:39:21,120 --> 01:39:23,480
know what the look alike would
be, but I think Eva Mendez would

1841
01:39:23,480 --> 01:39:27,000
capture the vibe and she's she's
probably the Hispanic version of

1842
01:39:27,000 --> 01:39:33,560
my extremely white wife, so.
Yeah, Selma can get the she can

1843
01:39:33,560 --> 01:39:38,440
get the sauce out of my wife.
My wife is very whole bunch of

1844
01:39:38,440 --> 01:39:42,440
fun.
But she's she's type A she, she

1845
01:39:42,440 --> 01:39:45,160
gets the job done.
So I think, I think Selma can

1846
01:39:45,160 --> 01:39:47,040
pull that off.
OK, She could pull it off.

1847
01:39:47,120 --> 01:39:52,960
Yeah, my wife is choosing my
words carefully here, right.

1848
01:39:52,960 --> 01:39:55,480
So I'm used to talking about me,
which I let it all up.

1849
01:39:55,480 --> 01:39:57,400
I I don't know that I've ever
talked about her on the pocket.

1850
01:39:57,720 --> 01:40:00,720
She's when it when the time
calls for spice, she'll she'll

1851
01:40:00,880 --> 01:40:05,160
spice it up.
But when it doesn't, the the

1852
01:40:05,160 --> 01:40:08,000
other 98% of the time super
chill.

1853
01:40:08,000 --> 01:40:10,400
So I think, I think Eva could
channel that, but it is she

1854
01:40:10,400 --> 01:40:11,800
could probably channel that.
That's awesome.

1855
01:40:11,880 --> 01:40:13,120
That's awesome.
That'll be fun.

1856
01:40:13,240 --> 01:40:14,920
Let's make the movie.
Let's do it.

1857
01:40:15,520 --> 01:40:16,920
Let's do.
We'll make movies, write books.

1858
01:40:16,920 --> 01:40:17,560
It's all.
Done.

1859
01:40:17,640 --> 01:40:18,360
Consider it done.