Cameron Teske - Starting a Foundation, Gifts From Loss & Remembering to Live - Episode #76

0:00 What's up friends, Welcome back to Ruder Wisconsin. Appreciate you for clicking another episode. Always grateful to have you here. Today's episode is with Cameron Teske, founder of the Remember to Live Foundation. Really emotional, really deep, really reflective conversation with Cameron. A lot of it centers around his inspiration to starting the foundation and that's very emotional and personal to him. He moved up here with his wife originally for some career opportunities and they got pregnant with their with their child and found out shortly after that that his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. And she fought A2 year battle that ended up with her losing her life.

0:41 And Cameron found himself expectedly at somewhat of a crossroads in your life, in his life. And that is a lot of the mission and passion behind starting the foundation. They were just recently able to give away their first trip, which is going to happen coming up in August and it sounds like there are many more where that came from. Of course we talk about a bunch of other things in life too, as we always do. Glad to have you here for it. Shout out to our sponsors at Carouser and a beverages delivered to your door, Epic Mortgage, Human centered mortgage services helping you in your next home and Genuine Lynn custom apparel and one-of-a-kind designs. Lynn does some awesome stuff too. If you dig what we do, please support our sponsors. They keep us going.

1:26 Let's jump into this episode though, with Cameron Teske. What about you? What do you dig A. Little bit of everything I grew up on, like punk and ska, OK kind of got out of that now and just bury in the country, OK, Like, how cliche is that? But yeah, love it.

2:08 I went to Ed Sheeran concert on my honeymoon in August and that was like one of the coolest experiences. We're in Copenhagen for it. OK, so my first like foreign concert and I don't know, guess kind of a dream come true and always loved Ed Sheeran and to see him perform just the most. He just looks like a child having fun up on stage. Like I love seeing live artists or or anyone really like banter with the audience and just talk and you can kind of see their personality. But then there's other artists you see like OK, Yep, I see your personality and you're charismatic, but you can tell it's a little bit rehearsed. Ed Sheeran looks like he just gets up there and is just chatting with whatever. Like he says things like, what is he even talking about right now?

2:50 But he's just having fun up there and it was awesome. Nice. Yeah, yeah, I like Ed Sheeran too. My wife is a big fan. I've wondered about his live shows. Did he have a full band with him or was it just him and a? Just him and he he like loops, he's got like a beat whatever thing on the on the ground and he'll like get the beat going and then he'll loop something else and add to it and then he'll do things with his mouth like what is that? Whatever. The acapella stuff where you know, it kind of makes the beat with his mouth and then he'll sing over that as it's just looping through. It's phenomenal. I, I've kind of assumed that was a vibe that amazes me, man. Like it, it kind of like it's adjacent to stand up comedy. Like you get up on stage and you bare yourself 100%. And I, I get I assumed it was that way, but I've never been. I'm kind of like a ancillary Ed Sheeran fan. Like, my wife listens a lot, so I listen. I play some once in a while because she's got a few songs that she likes.

3:40 But it reminds me of back in the day. Do you remember Jack Johnson? Absolutely. He would do the pancakes. Yeah, he would do that, like just one dude in an acoustic guitar, and he didn't even loop much or anything. He was just kind of like playing his little groove, singing his song and just like one dude on stage at Alpine or something, Like everybody's there. That's so intimidating to me. Well, Ed Sheeran's coming to Summerfest, so maybe. Maybe that's for. Your life and what what will actually make you become a fan, if you're not already? He has a documentary on Disney Plus. I think it's only three or 4 episodes, so it's pretty short. Phenomenal though, just to see into how he became who he is and who he still is now.

4:21 Maybe arguably the most famous male artist right now. And he's just a dude that lives in in the UK and doesn't care about much in in the best way, yeah. So sick. My Oh my little dude is upset right now because I cancelled Disney Plus. Oh, sorry to bring that one up. There's a there's a couple of things that he would go to on there. We don't let a ton of screen time, but a couple of his favorites were on Disney Plus and I guess him and Mama had a long conversation yesterday about me cancelling that. So I'm going to. You didn't even get to face it for him. No, he didn't even know. So I'm I'm sure I have a package waiting for me that he's ready to deliver when. The diamonds, right?

5:01 He's only four, but he's a good, he's a good negotiator. So I'm sure he's planning in his mind about what angle to take. Started because we had Hulu Live and there's just like all these channels that I never watch. And the price just kept going up. What streamers do. And then I found YouTube TV came out with the sports only package. And that's my only value for live sports right now is, is for live TV is sports. And it was like, I can't remember, the intro thing is like $49.00 a month or something. So it was literally half the price, but I had Disney Plus with Hulu and when I excite it all it left. So maybe there's a meet in the middle ground here that that it comes back. But man, I appreciate you coming in. I'm glad you reached out.

5:43 We crossed paths briefly a while back and I had actually heard some of your story about starting the foundation and stuff as as you were kind of leaving that scenario and in moving on to what you do now. And it was one of those things like we get overloaded when our minds and, and I remember thinking at the time I was like, that sounds like a good story. I got to make a mental note of this and then you ended up messaging me. So I'm glad we got together and get a chance to talk. Yeah, no, I appreciate you having me here to to share my story and just hang out for a little bit and talk about wherever we end up going. Yeah, dude, yeah. What maybe a cool place to start is I'm sure a lot of people have this idea of starting a not-for-profit. Like we all have these issues that are central to us, things that happened in our lives that are central to us, that move us in a way that leaves you changed, which I'm assuming we're going to get to today with you. But before that, what is that process been like, man? Like, 'cause I mean, you kind of worked in that space previously. I mean, it is not really the not-for-profit, but kind of what were like, what were the learning? What was the learning curve like? How has it been going?

6:59 What did, what did you do great at? What did you miss? Like what's the process been like starting a foundation? I, I actually, yeah, in a in a previous life, I was a part of the team that started a non profit for a capital campaign. So there's many people working on it, and I at least knew enough of what information to start my own, of what information I needed or who to surround myself with. Getting a lawyer on the board is really helpful because then they will help you with legal jargon. And as you're applying for nonprofit status or dealing with different state governmental departments to get some these applications out, whatever lawyer jargon is out there, it's like a completely different language.

7:45 I don't know, I don't know how they figure it out. I don't know how they write like it, but it's helpful to have a have a lawyer there. I think they do that on purpose. Dude, I've had four conversations about this. I think lawyers intentionally make it hard to read so we can't read it. Absolutely. And it's like job security for them, right? Like you read, you read poetry in Old English and like, at least I can understand that that's tough. But this is a completely different language. I know I like to think I'm a pretty proficient reader, but you read some of these things and it's like you get lost in a circle. I just want to check Austin. You push the red button on the video, right? All right. Thanks. So it's always a fear of podcasting, right? Yeah, Yeah. OK. So that was, so you had some experience doing this previously that kind of led into this, OK. So yeah, I I guess a a back story. I moved to Green Bay in 2015.

8:36 Brand new city, brand new job, relatively new marriage, brand new house we just bought home. We were home owners for the first time. On the drive from Milwaukee to Green Bay to move here, my car started acting up so needed to buy a new car when we got here. And we're here, things are are going pretty great. We're here for actually less than a month. It was a Friday night. We put a pretty large down payment to buy a golden retriever puppy that would be coming in the next few weeks. And then the next morning, my, my wife at the time, her name is Lauren. The next morning she took a pregnancy test. Like you couldn't have done this yesterday before we put the down payment on a puppy.

9:16 So now we have a puppy and a baby coming here in the next few months. So she gives birth in May of 2016 and breastfeeding was not going well. Lactation specialists and all of the, the doctor's appointments to figure out what's going on. And then August, I'm sorry, October of of that year, so a few months after giving birth, one of the the specialist was like this, This doesn't seem like it's just a lactation issue. Let's get you in for some more testing. And then you hear the word biopsy, like, oh boy, that's not a good word. And then, yeah, right away diagnosed with stage 4 triple negative breast cancer. And triple negative is a pretty aggressive form of cancer.

10:00 It is. There's no pattern. There's no passing it down genetically. It's just random and comes out of absolutely nowhere for really no reason. I'm not a scientist, so that might not be completely accurate, but that's the way that I understood it at the time. So for, for two years, she was going through treatments, chemo, radiation, battling breast cancer in in a variety of different ways while still working, while still raising a a baby. We continue to to travel throughout the the process. I remember our oncologist at Green Bay Oncology, I think it was right before right after she was about to start treatment, she had a a girls trip planned and she asked the oncologist, hey, can I go on this trip?

10:51 And I remember almost like crystal clear, he said, we are here to give you the life that you want while still trying to make you better. So do whatever your body's comfortable with, whatever you feel, feel that you can do. And I thought that was a really cool perspective of like, yeah, don't, don't stop living your life. We'll, we'll try and help you and, and heal you, but you still need to live the life that you want to be living and are and are able to live based on how you're feeling. And I think that stuck with us for for two years. Continue to travel. And then Brecon, my son was two years old, we took him to Disney World and obviously at Disney have all the memories, take all the pictures.

11:35 And then a couple months later we went to Banff, Canada again, a beautiful place, take all the pictures, have all the stories. And about a month after that, that Banff trip, Lauren passed away after a 2 year battle almost to the date of two years. So those memories, those pictures are what Brecon remembers his mom by. So that was November of 2018 when she passed away. And there's another, another guy in the Green Bay area, Andy Hireman. A lot of people might know him. He was a a business owner and, and his family's been around for a while owning a printing business. I met him at his wife's funeral a few months after Lauren passed away.

12:19 And it was the same parallel story. A young mom with children passed away from breast cancer. So he and I got to know each other and, and I don't know, one time we were spending some time together and he said, you know what would be awesome? We took a lot of trips as families and we were, we were capable of doing that. That's how our children are going to remember their moms by why don't we do that for other families? So that was that was a conversation probably mid to late 2019. So this idea had been brewing in my mind for a while. Then COVID hit and the world kind of went went chaos. But that idea never left my mind. I was working on other other work projects, making some things happen.

13:04 Those came to fruition, successfully launched the capital campaign, successfully worked on getting the NFL draft to Green Bay. And then I was sitting at work one day and I was like, I have accomplished what I set out to accomplish here. I think it's time for a change and that idea never left of like, I think it's now time to, to go forth and, and help other moms who are fighting breast cancer and their families take a family vacation to, to create those memories that will last for the rest of all of their lives, no matter if that's two years or a four year old child for the rest of, of his or her life. So I, I quit my job to, to get this thing started and reached out to the, the Greater Union Bay Community Foundation.

13:55 Many cities across the country have community foundations and they're a nonprofit umbrella and, and they handle a lot of wealthy money, but they also have the capability of having other nonprofits sort of work underneath them or utilize their nonprofit status to, to fundraise dollars. So they, they were a fantastic partner to, to help me get this all started. And that's, that's where our money still is right now. And we've just been fundraising, sharing our story, and here we are. That's so amazing, man. I have to assume, like COVID or not, obviously COVID put the brakes on the travel aspect for a little while, But man, I, you know, talking about the four year old and just living that for four years, Like there had to be a certain amount of time afterwards where you just had to like you just had to do it. You there probably wasn't room to create to like this in your mind anyway, because it had to be just unbelievable. Just the day-to-day of life.

15:01 I can't imagine man. Yeah, you hear a lot about the the grieving process and what that looks like. I, I don't, I don't think I knew how to deal with my emotions. Actually, I know I didn't know how to deal with them. I was 20, I was 28. So 28 year old guy like what 20 year old guy? 28 year old guy really knows how to deal with his emotions anyway, let alone losing a a spouse at that age. And now I also have a 2 year old son that I need to raise by myself. Being a being a dad came very natural to me. So I wasn't worried about doing that per SE.

15:44 I had, my mom was in green, It wasn't his in Green Bay. Brecken's other grandparents were in Green Bay at the time. So I had a lot of help. But the day like we get home from the funeral and there's no time to, to deal with anything. It's just all right, I got to be a dad and that's you have to do everything. That's what I am now. And yeah, so there was, there was no time to create or grieve or worry or even feel bad for yourself. It was just like survival mode. It was all wrap it up in a little box and tuck it somewhere in your brain and then someday this can come out. I that is unbelievable, dude. What was the what was the two years like of her battling it?

16:25 What like what was the prognosis at that time? Were you were you both hopeful but aware or what were the percentages like? What what was that two years mindspace like? What was the end written? Or was the battle like 5050? What was it like? I, I think I might have a whole lot of naive optimism and a whole lot of things in life and, and that was one of them. And maybe that that helped the process to some degree or help me deal with it in some degree. I remember shortly after the diagnosis calling a really good friend of mine and just like this is what's going on right now.

17:09 And one of his first questions was like, just help me understand where you're at. Do you think your wife is dying right now? And I said, no, we've had good doctor's appointments. They have a plan, they have all these things. And I, I fully believe that. And, and I think she did too. And there was, there were, there were UPS, ups and downs throughout the, the entire process. As can be expected, some treatments worked better than other treatments. And some days she felt better than other days. There was even a moment, maybe at like the 18 month mark where all of a sudden her tests come back and like, it looks like everything's pretty much gone. So now that optimism's like, OK, we're, we're good. We're, we're, we're not in the clear, but we're definitely seeing the clearing happening.

18:03 And then a month or two after that, another test came back and it was like, uh oh, this is, this is even worse Now. It's like 2, two months after stopping the, the, the harsh, intense treatment, stopping that for two months was like her body just let everything back in. So then for the last four months it was, it was pretty rough. And I had lunch with that same friend who had asked me that, that question about is your wife dying 18 months prior to that? We're sitting at lunch and I said I need to change my answer. Oh. Heavy yeah that's it's so crazy to think about man.

18:45 It's awesome that you had the awareness in the time, though, because like I'm a, I'm a, like a find the gift person, right? In the hardest parts of life, If we can find some type of gift in what was given to us, it's helpful, makes me emotional just hearing your story and thinking about it because we, it's so easy to put ourselves in another person's shoes, but at the same time, it's impossible, right? And you think about all these what ifs and what it would be like. It's amazing like the gift and it has to be obviously you 2 made a child that exists now in the world and that's like a living remembrance, right? There's probably a double edged sword to that too. Sometimes when you look in their eyes or whatever it may be, you know, but it's awesome that you had the wherewithal. And I'm sure at times it was tough for her to find the inner strength, like tired from chemo or whatever therapy was to to go somewhere or do something or recognize that like, OK, a 2 year old won't probably put themselves back in the shoes. But we all talked to our kids about pictures and they're like, yeah, I was there.

19:50 I remember that. And then like, that can be the gift. Move forward. Like, it's awesome that you were able to find that mind space in a time that I'm sure was just cloudy and downtrodden most of the time. Looking back on it, I think there's there's a lot of cloudiness to it. There's there's moments that I remember crazy vividly, and then there's other moments of like, I'll see a picture of like, I don't even remember being there. But yeah, Brecon, yeah. He's got those memories and we'll put himself there because he's seen pictures or he's heard stories. But then there's other times where he'll just share something about her or a memory. And like, in my mind, like that for sure did not happen. But if that's the memory that you want to have have in your mind, it's a good memory of, of your mom, then. Yeah, yeah, awesome.

20:38 For sure that happened and I'm glad that you still have that memory kind of thing. Yeah, dude, what a trip. What you know, what an absolute just like devastation that happens. It's it's pretty like, I mean, breast cancer awareness has been a thing since I it seems like we're about the same age since we were young right when the pink ribbon started and and all of these things. And I actually, my best friend, his mom ended up passing away. She had breast cancer. But it was one of those things where it was a 20 year process, you know, not a two year thing. So I think that probably, you know, everybody navigates their own waters in this situation. And I can't imagine living like we don't know if it's next month, we don't know if it's two years from now or we don't know if it's cured.

21:26 But today I'm going to live like it's today, you know, I don't know, man, It's it, It's just so poignant and reflective to hear how, how often do the conversations come up with him now? Honestly, not as often as maybe they should. I I guess there's no should or there's no right way or wrong way to do anything Chance like we still celebrate her birthday. We still talk about her on Mother's Day. So, so things like that will come up or randomly something will happen and he'll say like a memory about her. It doesn't happen often, but it happens So, so probably not as often as as I should for him.

22:13 Right. I'm I'm now happily remarried. We are creating a family together. She loves Brecon like her own. We're actually do with our our own baby together in July. No way, dude. So yeah. So everything's, everything's going really well. And, and Megan's been a phenomenal proponents of an, an, an asset to getting the remember to live foundation going and just someone that that believes in it believes in me and is, is helping raise raise my son like her own as well. And so, so it's, it's surrounding yourself with people that that love you and care for you and, and are willing to deal with some of your shit too.

22:54 Yeah. Dude, absolutely. Yeah, I'm, I'm sure it's one of those things that we all navigate these waters of we don't you don't want to talk about tough stuff all the time, right. So it's easy to compartmentalize, put it away and just kind of let it linger and and and live and breathe until it comes out. Well, so now transitioning to the the foundation and what you've Don and are going to accomplish. I think I just saw something recently. You gave away the first trip, right? Like the inaugural trip. What was that like? Man, that their firsts in life are awesome. This first had to be crazy. It, it was so I, I officially launched this in November of 24 November 20th of 2024 was the death anniversary of Lauren.

23:45 So just very monumental date that that had some meaning to it. And then I put together a board of directors in the following summer. So summer of 25 is when it like really officially started did a bunch of fundraising. Right now we have enough money to send five families on a vacation. Like right now we can do it continuing to fundraising, continuing to do events to to make all that happen. And then after we we hit some dollars in the bank account, that was like, OK, now we need to find a family to give this to. That was the hardest part, I bet. Like the asking people for money. Yeah, great, here's money, donate this whatever. Here's the.

24:32 Story tells itself, yeah. And now I'm saying, OK, we, we have the money. Thank you everyone. But now if you know someone who knows someone who is a mom with breast cancer, we want to give them a vacation. We will pay for everything and just have them create a memory. There's a form. It's a simple form on our website and weeks and months and no form was ever filled out. Oh Dang, that was the hard part. That was. The hardest part was like, we're trying to give you something, give someone you know something. And I don't know if it was a pride thing. I don't know if it was a US messaging thing. And then finally we got one and then we got another one. So it was like a snowball effect of like one came in and then one from a completely different angle came in and another one came in.

25:17 So I was like, oh, OK, So we didn't have any. And now we have a really hard decision of who's going to be our first one. And it was a single mom out of the Fox Valley area. Her name's Tina, and she has a 10 year old daughter. I have never met Tina. Tina has no clue who I am or what this organization is. And I got her cell phone number from the person that nominated her. I texted her one day and said, like, hey, Tina. Tina also started a TikTok channel to to document her cancer journey called Metastatic Mama. So I knew she was comfortable telling her story. I knew she was comfortable on camera. She's got pink hair just like a character in the the best way. Yeah, So I texted Tina.

26:05 I didn't want to see my last name and be able to Google and find remember to live. I didn't want the e-mail just to pop up where she could get any sort of evidence that that what could possibly be happening. So I texted her and said, hey, I'm starting a podcast. I know you've been sharing your story online. Great content, great videos in a very dark humor kind of way. It's making light of how awful you feel after chemo. And it's just the, the rawness of, of going through cancer. I had worked with coffee Wizards in Appleton for a location and said, you know, I want to interview you, hear your story and we'll be a coffee wizard. Here's a here's a few dates. She didn't ask me one question.

26:47 She said, cool, I'll be there On this date. Nice. Like that was way easier than I was expecting. So I had a friend with me who helped. Like we, we set it up like a podcast. There were there were cameras, there was audio recording. And I remember I saw, I saw her pull up in the window and I said to Jonathan, like, she's coming in. She has no idea why she's here. I don't even know how to like start this. So she got in and she was great. We chit chatted for a little bit. We sat down to record a podcast. We actually recorded an interview just to hear her story, hear what she's gone through. And the, the conversation was, was leading to the right way for me to transition into it. So I said to her, so Tina, I wasn't fully honest with why I brought you here.

27:35 And she just looks at me and she's OK, Like she has no idea what I'm about to say. And you can see like this, this might not be good. I don't know what whatever I said, I started an organization called Remember to Live Foundation and we give moms fighting breast cancer and their families a vacation to go create memories. And she just stared at me and tears started in her eyes and she said, I don't want to say, but can I stand up and hug you? And it was it was the coolest thing on my way to to go to that interview, Megan said to me, this is a big deal. Just be in the moment. And as we were getting to that, that point, I remember just like being there and like the adrenaline, I could feel it going through my body of like, this is such a big deal and everything I've been wanting to do. And it was awesome.

28:31 It's like reaching the summit. Yeah, yeah. What an amazing story. What a cool way to do it too. That's such a great idea to be able to like drop the bomb, you know, in a way like that that is captured forever for her, too. That's so cool. I want to go back. I never would have. I thought that. So I was going to ask you this question today. I've been thinking about it since you reached out and what we're going to talk about. I would have thought the hard part that I'd like. I thought, and even today I thought you were going to say sifting through all the applications and being like, Oh my goodness, how do I pick between this story and this? Story. I'm sure it is now. Yeah. But I never would have guessed that the the an initial hurdle was nobody applying. And I guess I mean, lifelong marketer trust is hard to build, you know, So you, you got to start the snowball somewhere. And how do you get those first few in? What did you did it start as nominations or or was it or can it be like I'm sure you can probably self nominate to right? But which of those was that?

29:32 A. Piece of it right now we have it's a nomination form and and we did that thinking a the the family that is affected by cancer, they're going through enough. They don't need another something to do by filling out an application. Yeah, I mean, they're going to get a vacation out of it, but just to take one more dumb little task off their plate of let's have someone else nominate them. After living it, you knew how heavy your head was already. A lot of them probably won't even find it. You're just treading. Exactly. But then there's also a pride thing too of like, oh, I'm not as sick as someone else might be, so I don't deserve this. Or we have some money. We could probably take a family vacation. So I'm not going to take it from someone that might financially need it more than I do Human nature. Exactly.

30:20 And that's not that's not fair. That's not what we're trying to do. We're not trying to give a vacation away then make people feel bad about it. So in our minds and conversations with, with the board and other people for that matter, it was just like, let's have family and friends nominate them because they're the ones that are seeing the struggle that this current family could be going through. So it's a way for, you know, a sister to say like, Oh, my sister's, my sister's going through something right now. She deserves this. Yeah. So then now let's talk about the sifting through a little bit. That's got to be so hard. I I, you know, thinking about what we're going to talk about. I tried to envision what that would be like, just reading story after story. Like what's the cadence?

31:03 You said you have like 5 or 6 right now, but like what's your planned cadence and how do you work through that process of like reading them it? You have to relive it every time too when you do it. So that has to be another angle of it. What's it like? I think probably a struggle with every nonprofit organization or any good hearted person for that matter. You want to help everyone and you don't ever want to say no to people. We right now we're just planning one family's trip. The first one after sitting down with her, one of my questions I asked her was, you know, do you, do you have a bucket list? Is there anywhere you really want to travel? Like what do you want to do in, in, in your life right now? And her and her daughter like national parks. They've, they've gone to a handful of national parks. And then she made some super passing comment about Hawaii and that was kind of it.

32:06 And then I sent her a, a survey form for her to fill out an interest form of like, OK, what are your top three destinations? We'll do our best to pick one of them. What do you guys like to do? What kind of food, whatever, just all this information about what they like to do. And in there she said something about it is always been a dream of mine to go to Hawaii. Like done, we will make this happen. So in August she's going to Hawaii. So that was absolutely a dream come true for her while going through a nightmare. So I, I texted her like this, this graphic itinerary that I put up and said like, hey, here's what we're thinking.

32:49 Is this work for you before we start to book things. And she responded back within like 5 seconds. Like OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG yes, like that is that is perfect. That is exactly like the emotion that I, I want her to feel is that excited. And then a couple days later she texted me and said me and my daughter have been watching every Hawaii video that we could find. And we are so pumped. It's like that. That is a story in and of itself. That's that can't be scripted. That's just human emotion and someone who is is grateful for what she has while also dealing with very heavy things. So obviously you never want to say no to another family to get to get give them that.

33:37 So right now we're we're focusing on this first family and we just had a board meeting a couple days ago and said like, OK, this first family is for the most part ready to go. We have to officially book the the airlines now with the book the hotel and that's all in the process right now. But it's time to find our next family. So we have a couple applications that that we are holding onto right now. And then we'll put the call out to for other nominations. And then we'll meet as a board and, and look at stories and just have to make a decision. And once we had the first one, I knew that it, or I believe it hasn't happened yet, but I believe it will snowball. Oh yeah. For such a long time, it was like, this is what we're trying to do.

34:19 This is our vision. This is our goal to send families here. And after that initial conversation to give away the first vacation. It was like, this is now what we do. And that seems like a transitional moment of here's a hope in the future, here's a vision and a goal to Nope, this is just too weird and what we do now. Yeah, it, it is the thing that can snowball so easily, especially with that creative execution. Cause like the, the, the, the content exists. You don't have to. You just capture it. You capture the moment and then you call people in with that moment and yeah, it, it's going to keep going that direction.

34:59 You brought up something in there that I didn't think about. It's like there's layers to the gift and like talking with her daughter about watching Hawaii videos. Like we're going through that right now. My, my little dude's a shark and, and whale nut right now. It's been like a year. He just loves sharks and whales. So I was going to like, we were going to plan a trip to go on a whale watching boat trip, but they're like 6 hours, 5 hours long. And I was like, I don't know if he's ready for that long yet. So we planned a trip to the Shedd Aquarium and told him like a month ago. And every single day we talk about it and it's almost like, you know, it's easy to look at your foundation and think, OK, the trip is this escape. But in reality, the year around the trip is an escape because it changes the dynamic of conversation. It gives you something to look forward to it it, you know, you know, it sounds cliche, but it gives you something to live for and through so that the gift is much more than just the trip. Like it's those moments that build up. I didn't think of that coming into the conversation. It's cool.

36:05 Yeah, and we also have come up with a way to have it live on after the fact as well. And you you told me before like that I had this this clarity while going through two years of treatment. And to some degree may be true, but to some degree there's there's other things that I wish I would have done differently. Sure. And, and this is one of them where working with, with DJ cast at shift visuals in in Green Bay. I want to interview the family pre trip to just get a get a sense of where they're at, what's going on, how's everyone doing and coping? And, and maybe there's some emotion to it. Maybe, maybe there's not depending on, you know, children, but at least the the woman that's affected by it, a partner or a husband or a spouse or whatever, they're going to have their own perception, perception of it. So get that interview and then encourage the family while they're on the trip.

37:04 Take all the pictures, take all the videos, and then afterward do a post interview. What did that experience mean to you? What were some of your favorite parts? What were some of your favorite memories? Yeah, we can all think we're going to remember vivid moments, but if they're not documented, journal recorded, whatever, maybe they'll slip by. And then I want the mom to sit down with the camera and give a message to her kids. And that way, even even if she lives for another 40 years, the kids hopefully will outlive her and they'll at least have that in the future. But then to have this video package given to the families to to have something tangible to remember this trip by.

37:52 So it's not just a one week go on vacation and have a good time. It's creating a lasting memory that they can go back to. And and if if the ultimate devastation does happen and in a year that that mom's no longer there, they now have this video montage of that trip was phenomenal and we created some amazing memories and now we can relive those anytime we want. Yeah, that's awesome. That actually encapsulates an idea that I've had bouncing around in my head. I had this scenario very early on in this podcast. I had a a good friend of mine on dealt with a bunch of health issues that things were touch and go for him too. He didn't know what was going to happen. And he's a very gregarious, positive guy. So like, you know, we, it was this thing of we didn't, we kind of just ended up talking about real life a lot, you know, and, and he, he was progressively, you're consistently looking forward in the conversation.

38:54 And there was no like inkling of this, of, of that. And luckily he's, he's still doing pretty solid. He's still fought some health issues and it still is. But the where this idea came from as I went to an event last summer and and he was there with his wife and it was the first time I had talked with her in a long time. And she came up and like, oh, got like 4 words out before she just started bawling tears. And she was like incredibly thankful to me for having him on the podcast. And I was like, he's a good friend, you know, I mean, I do is deal with stuff, but he's got a cool story.

39:35 But she opened my eyes to seeing it through a different way. She said their grandson watches and watches and watches and watches his episode. And like, I always, you know, I, I can't help. I'm a serial idea person. Like, I just see these things. I wish I could do so many. For sure. And it it's not, it's not and it probably never will be something that'll fit with my brand about what I do, but it fits yours perfectly about this time capsule type thing. I like that. And you could see that. Thing like and it's so easy to do right. It's so easy to do, especially with someone like shift. I actually had page who works at shift on iPod too. But it's it's easy when you like if you can get some in kind services and and like you leverage all of these talents to build this time capsule for somebody. So now it's not even just the trip and it's not even the stories in front of back, but it's in 50 years when that kid is now 50.

40:37 Oh my showing this? Showing his kids their. This grandma, yeah. And like, oh, my goodness. And that. Oh, that brings me to how hard it would be to write what you wanted to say. Oh, being the person. Can you imagine being in those shoes? What do I want to say in this video? Oh my God, dude, that has the the ceiling of that is through the roof, man, because you could do so many things with that. And that's it's funny because that's been something since that happened that day. I've been thinking about the power of that moment because we all have these why moments, right? Like I got to a point in my career where I was really successful doing what I was doing, but I don't have AY, the old Simon Sinek thing for sure. It it didn't matter.

41:21 To you and then just seems hollow and you're ready for a change. Yeah, absolutely. Everything seems hollow and Gray and it's like, wow, I'm really good at what I do and I'm making good money. But does it matter in the grand scheme of things in that moment when those things happen, when she like, started bawling when she saw me and I hadn't looked at it from that angle whatsoever? Like the Y resonates with you and it starts coming to life. And you're obviously your Y is incredibly poignant, right? Like you started this foundation because of personal experience. But then, you know, you see these. What would you say? You see this picture of what it could be, and you probably have countless ideas of this floating through your mind.

42:06 I'm also a serial idea guys. So I kind of got that. It's a struggle sometimes. Yeah, well, because it can be our worst enemy too, right? Yeah, and. I got to execute on some of them I. Know yeah I got to follow through on something and see the see the end and not get squirreled by the 10 other things but this one like you can you can feel the power of this light and I you know that one little moment for me you could exponentiate into these incredible time capsules for people that are above and beyond the the plane there and the plane back in the discussions that's what a gift man what a gift in the. Dark.

42:47 It's definitely a rewarding, very much a passion project. Yeah. And with a, with a very clear, very personal why, but even like your why here, I mean, yeah, are you going to do any sort of time capsule or anything like that for every guest? No, but you're creating a platform to tell stories. And what what's impactful is storytelling. Someone's going to relate to something that that you have you have a guest on here or even even if it's just entertainment value, someone is coming to share their story. And what do people like to do but talk about themselves? A. 100% yeah. And given the right atmosphere, right, Like we have to open the door because there is that pride thing that comes along with it that some people, you know, we, we hide that stuff sometimes because even if we know we have a good story, it's like, does the person want to hear it? Do you want to listen?

43:35 And if we can embrace it and come out once you get somebody going, of course they, we, we love talking about what we do and what we experience. And you're right, man, you're right. That is I, when I, when I think about my why, when I started this, I just like there's a disconnect between how we see everybody in society. Like if we're driving our car, especially on social media, that's kind of where it started for me. Like seeing people that wouldn't argue or talk the way that they are to each other in real life for sure, but they do it on on the computer. Sword Warriors. Yeah, dude, and I think about that and I it's just there's the stark contrast between the life you experience when you walk through life and you're engaged with people in a human way.

44:24 And then what you see online, we're a lot of us spend our time and that disconnect, I think is so unhealthy that it it like it's easy to develop this jaded view of life and humanity because social media makes us think that we're all so different and we all believe all of these different things because it's the fringes that would do well, right? Like I can post a clip from this podcast about, you know, a somber moment with you talking about everything you went through and it'll do really well, but might not translate to someone getting to the next step of thinking about that of, OK, what is the gift in this? What is the positive?

45:05 And I just want to be a connector, man. And I think stories do that. If if we get the more people we can get to someone, listen to someone talk for an hour and be really human about it. We realize that that divide isn't real. It's fabricated by social media for sure. It isn't in existence like my neighbor might think different politically than me, but if we see each other at the fence, we're going to talk about the things that happen in life because it's what matters. Yeah, and I think that's even. It's not just social media, in my opinion. I think it's talking at the fence. It's sitting down in face to face to have this conversation. It's going to the coffee shop, it's going to the bar, it's going to a family reunion.

45:50 We spend so much of our time in in the Zoom room of talking to each other via Scream. Like that has a whole emotional disconnect compared to sitting here face to face. And I think that's such a huge problem too. No, 100%. I've had several guests, some that it's incredibly tempting, right? Because with the, with the vanity metrics comes growth, you know, and I've had some like, of course, people that are busier, have a bigger presence or whatever, they've tried to persuade me to do an, a virtual interview with them. And that's a hard stop for me. And like, if it gets there, I'm like, I would love to have you on, But if I talk to you on a screen, if I'm talking to you on a computer, I, we can't feel.

46:37 I think there's, I'm kind of an energy guy. I'm a little woose eye energy type guy. And there's an energy that comes with in person conversation. Like today, I mean, hearing your story, there's two or three times in that that I'm holding back tears. You know, I'm because I can feel it. If we're on a screen, I don't think I would feel that same. Way. And the conversation is different man. And of course it, it's very convenient, it's easy. There's platforms like Riverside that plop it all together for you. I have I've had people drive from 5 hours away to come on the pod and I feel a little weight with that like OK, I got to make this worth it for them. They're coming a long way. But at the same time, it's I think it has to be this way for me at least it has to be this way because you're you're building on your point. Like you're exactly right.

47:27 Like if we make the time and intentionality to be with someone, it's it's it matters and it doesn't happen enough. Yeah. That's why I love the podcast idea, dude, that you did with her to give her the thing. It's it's so isn't it amazing how one, how easy the yes was? I've been incredibly like surprised by that since I started the pod about people that are even naturally introverts and stuff to be like, yeah, let's talk. And without asking me any qualifying questions, they don't know shit about what people do. It is yeah, like what what do you want? What are you going to try to get me to say? And then two, how quickly people, when they feel comfortable, they get into the deepest, darkest moments of their brain and.

48:17 Even sitting down with her like she, she got to some pretty raw parts and at one point she said something about I, I, I had asked her like, how did you deal with a cancer diagnosis and being a single mom? And she referenced back to being a teenager. She went through some, some pretty debilitating anxiety and, and some mental health issues and she kind of left it at that and said, like, you know, I, I learned how to cope with some internal pain that way. And now this is pretty parallel to that. So, so I've, I've been trained and, and I know some different coping mechanisms. And then later she like just dropped a bomb on me. She said, when I was 18, I wanted to take my life. And now here I am, fighting for my life. The whole man that is.

49:10 That is a full circle moment right there. Wow, yeah, I've had a I've had a couple of those nuanced. It's been a little more veiled on the pod, but it's been, you know, nuanced towards that. That was an idea in the mind that is it time to end or is it time to continue to go? And the like, how in, well, there's been a lot of instances where I've had a lot of firsts like like someone like realizing, damn, that's the first time I've ever said that to anybody. That's heavy for you. Yeah. And but I love it because it that means that it's doing what it's supposed to do.

49:53 And what I love about it is it's so damn easy to get it out. And that's proof in the pudding of what we're talking about, right? If and maybe no one's ever even asked him a question to get them there and you just asked the right question and they said, yeah, I'll just dump it all. Exactly. It's it's almost like it's this dog behind a cage ready to jump out, gets ready to get out and society as is doesn't really provide that opportunity to let it out. That's powerful, man, that's so good. I'm a, I'm, I'm a, I'm envious of the position that you're in a lot of ways, like the, the ability to be able to provide something like that for somebody is the ultimate. Why the ultimate ultimate?

50:38 Why? How hard was it to make the decision? You had to know that going into this year, Of course, you knew that it was going to be so incredibly satisfying. How hard, how scary, how everything was it to just like, say, career, what I've done to this point gone, I'm going to do. This. It was wildly hard, I bet. But then there's also, if you find something you're passionate about at the exact same time, it was wildly easy. OK, And maybe too easy. Yeah. I I had a very successful career. I absolutely loved what I did. I had grown pretty quickly into different positions, into a whole lot of responsibility.

51:26 I. Get a really cool office. I had a cool office I I was on track for even more growth and part of me to some degree felt like an asshole for giving it all up. OK. In terms of like, I've worked really hard, people have helped me and mentored me along the way. Am I just walking away from all of this time and energy and effort and passion and what other people have have helped me get get to as well? And then it came down to that was an amazing moment, an amazing chapter in my life.

52:11 But it's time to write a new chapter. So if you can find the the why behind it and something else you're passionate about, you'll get to a point in your career or in your life that there's a fork in the road. Do you take the path that you're on or do you do you take the the next one? And it, it was pretty clear to me that, yeah, it was, it was amazing. It was amazing run that I had in a professional way. But it was it was time to take a new path. Yeah, and almost two years in, you're glad you did it.

52:51 Absolutely. And I think maybe maybe the the easy part of it was it wasn't just like a rash decision. It was like, oh, I have an idea I'm going to do this. Like we're talking about like being idea guys. Like, yeah, there's a whole lot of times where like this would be awesome. I have this idea, but I'm not going to change my life for that particular idea. This was an idea that literally was in my mind for six years. The why behind it was wildly life changing for me. So it's something that I knew I needed to to chase. Two years in, it's given me more freedom to spend time at home with my son. My wife Megan travels for work.

53:33 It has given us freedom to mooch off her work trips and like, OK, cool, you you go to the conference. Breck and I are going to go to Disney World. So like if, if I would have stayed at a nine to five job that wasn't always 9:00 to 5:00, there were late nights, there were weekends, it wouldn't have afforded that lifestyle. So I think there's, there's ancillary benefits to taking a leap and, and gambling on yourself and you, you create a life that you are fully in control of rather than relying on other people telling you what to do. And, and there's a time and a place for that.

54:15 And amazing things happen from that. I loved that in the moments that I, I had it, but it's just time to, to make a, a change. And it was, in my mind, a very impactful change. Yeah, satisfaction looks a lot of different ways and there's levels to satisfaction. One thing it's I talk with this with my students a lot. One thing it's easy to get lost in, especially when you're young before you have a lot of things to reflect upon, is how insignificant and really not important you are to an organization. It's just going to keep rolling like, you think, you know, we do all this stuff and put all this time and energy and motivation and into something that, you know, if you're not an entrepreneur, it isn't yours.

55:04 And it's easy to get lost in that thing of like you really matter to this thing because you have to feel that way to be successful. But then once you age a bit and you get a few different jobs and you leave jobs and, and you see that like the the rebound time is relatively non existent. They're planning before it even happens. It's a lot easier to make the decision for you as opposed to for others, and I think that's where there's value in that. Well, I think you also need to determine for yourself what is success. Yes, society tells us what success is. College tells us what success is. Get a good job, get a good paycheck, get some good benefits, move up the corporate ladder. Yeah.

55:47 Is that really what success ultimately is? No. Maybe to some people. But do those people have fulfilment in their life? Maybe some do, but I would argue a lot don't. Are those people passionate about what they're doing every day? Maybe there's some things that they're passionate about, but I would argue they're probably more passionate about something else than they are. They're 9 to 5 corporate job. Absolutely. So I think that was that was something that I I was confident in for myself of what is success. I had a great job, I loved what I was doing. I was surrounded by people that I loved, but I also wanted to be in control of my own time. I also sacrificed being home more with my son as an only father like or as a as a solo single single dad. Jeez, that's the word it.

56:44 It was. I was at a place that I could now leave and and spend more intentional time doing that. And that is way more rewarding than any professional accolade I've ever had. And I've had some pretty cool things that I've done. But what, what ultimately are are we here for? And that's going to look different to everyone, But I knew what I knew what mine was. Yeah. And isn't that awesome how it changes when that that feeling changes when you have a kid? Just having a kid changes like there are, there is to me is very quickly apparent that there's nothing more important to do than just existing with your kid. Just being there. There's nothing like it feels like you were put like you exist because to do that.

57:28 Yeah. And I, that was a, that was a really drastic shift for me when I became a dad. Like, wow. I can see like I had a, it's funny, I have a, one of my best friends had kids much earlier than I did. And I got to see this transformation of, of what I think a lot of parents go through where you, you trim out these the things at the boundaries of your life that you realize don't have a ton of as much value. And I was always like, they're still going to be there when you get home, just just come. And now I was so wrong, dude. I was so wrong in in thinking that isn't. It good to be wrong about the right things. It is dude. It is. It absolutely is. Because now I'm like, I think about my other friends thinking about me like that, like I used to one.

58:15 One thing that's pretty much virtually left my life is golf. I used to golf a lot. Oh. I can't give that one up. And the key is to get get your son into golf because now it's a bonding experience. Yeah. Maybe someday, yeah, we'll see. He hasn't shown an inclination to anything athletic yet, which everybody always asks me about because I've always loved sports. I've played a lot of sports. I've been a sports guy and I I just look at it as however the time spent is going to be good and it's going to save me a shit load of. Money. There you go. Like if I don't have to buy a bunch of stuff, but like that was one of the things that's been trimmed out and it's so easy to do. It's so easy to just say like, but like you said, everybody have their has their things. I'm not going to stop going trout fishing. We need that sanctuary in life to also be energized for the people around us.

59:01 But that's I don't get the same feeling as I do when I'm just hanging with them and being that thing in there. There's these. You hear the the cliche about how does it go in? I'm drawing a blank on it right now, but whatever you get. I'll jump in here then I I got something there. I see your Marcus Aurelius book behind you for Meditations. I have a tattoo on my chest that that portrays a Seneca quote. If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable. So if you don't know what you want in life, if you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter how like on the path to success that you have, like where do you want to go?

59:43 Then, then you'll get there. But otherwise you're just kind of floundering and failing and, and not failing, flailing, floundering and flailing all around. And, and maybe you're going in a direction, maybe you're moving somewhere, but are you moving toward what you really want in life? Yeah. And so that perfectly helps me out. I still don't know the phrase I was looking for, but it is the purpose thing, right? It's purpose is so easy to find. And I think that's probably part of the reason why some deep reflective moments happen for parents as their kids leave the nest, right? Because it's almost like purpose is leaving like. Your purpose was a parent for 1820 years. Yeah, you've done your thing and now it's like, OK, what's my next?

1:00:26 Purpose. I don't know who I am anymore yeah, yeah. So that's where like, you know, talking about fishing or golf for that matter, like you still need to have your moments to figure out who, who you are and what you want. And if you don't take those moments of solitude, are you are you ever going to really reflect on that for yourself? Or are you just constantly in go mode of get the kids ready, get the kids out the door, get the kids to soccer, get the kids to school to do all these things, clean up the house, change the diaper, feed them, whatever. Like you could do that for 18 years and every day is that. And then you're like, I, I haven't done a single thing for myself in yeah, that long. So. That would be easy to do, probably. It's easy to get lost on that rabbit and. That's what I think we were talking about this at the beginning where, you know, we'll talk about humility.

1:01:09 Like even even when I do stuff for myself, like, there's still a guilt factor. Oh, yeah. So I don't know if it's like the the Midwest humbleness or whatever, but yeah, like, you still need to take care of yourself. Yeah. And my wife's going to yell at me because she ells me for that. I don't do a good job with that. So me telling other people that it's like, it's like the nurses do as I say not or do yeah, do as I say not as I do kind. Of thing. Yeah, yeah, it is. There is that guilt factor of, you know, a couple night trip, like by the second or third night I'm like, God, I should really be home. Yeah. What am I? What am I doing? What am I? What am I here? Yeah. But it's it is important to recharge. Have you read Meditations? Not fully, but OK, I'm familiar with. Yeah, quite a bit of it.

1:01:49 Yeah, love it, man. It's it's amazing how relevant it is being so old. And it's awesome that he wrote it and never thinking that anybody was going to read it. It was just him, yeah. So Speaking of tattoos, I've been looking at the tree tattoo on your bicep. Yes. What's the thing around it? I can't tell. So OK, it is actually a lake in northern Wisconsin, White Sand lake in Boulder Junction. It is where Lauren is buried. Her family has a cabin on the lake and then in Boulder Junction is is the cemetery and then the three trees are me, Lauren and Brecon. All right, super cool. I'm assuming those tight in your situation, those type of conversations are forced.

1:02:32 I've been very forward with my wife about my hopes to be a tree someday. There's really cool ways to to turn it turn like a, you know, cremated body into a tree. And I told her whenever I go, like that's my one wish. I don't care what you do with the rest. I just want to be a tree somewhere. What like I'm assuming you had like she had these wishes that you had to carry out, like being buried in a certain spot and stuff. That's that's got to be a different way because my wife and I like I I talk about it in jest, but it brings a whole nother layer of in your face Ness when you're talking about it when it's real kind of immediate. Yeah, after two years of, of a cancer diagnosis and a battle and every hospital visit through the the paperwork and the questionnaires of of whatever medical provider pops into the room.

1:03:25 Often the question was, I forget the exact term, but basically do you have, do you have a will? Do you have, do you have everything lined up in the event that this goes in the wrong direction? And that goes back to like the naive optimism, both of us, even even when things were getting bad, it was kind of like, I think there's there's still some hope here. And by doing some of these finality things is almost feels like you're kind of giving up. Yeah. And that was never what either one of us wanted. It was we're going to have blind hope here. We're going to pray a lot. We are going to trust in all of this a whole lot.

1:04:05 And by taking care of the end times felt like giving up. So it some of those conversations happened within the final 48 hours of being in the hospital. Damn, really? Yeah. Like we had a lot of great conversations about my future if she's not there. But in terms of like maybe more, more of the detail logistics kinds of things, it was it was pretty much in the final days of the hospital. Like Big Sand Lake, get it done. Yeah, right, man. But I mean, it's, it's one of those things, learning that lesson to some degree the hard way, my wife and I now are, are dealing with that in a very much more proactive way.

1:04:51 So like, yeah, it's something that every person, every couple should talk about. Why would you not? Because I could be driving home and get hit by a bus. And what did he want? What where is where is this paperwork? Where is all of these things? Like why would you not have a contingency plan to help your family out? See I think the same way. My wife can't stand when I do it but. What, what I actually like, I felt like my battle that I, I was making sure I won, especially after after she died, I hated people's sympathy because it felt so like forced, but also like I don't, I'm, I'm doing just fine.

1:05:37 I'm thriving as a parent, as an employee, like maybe inside I'm fully not, but like I'm, I'm doing good. Like the, the puppy dog. I was like, oh, how are you? Don't talk to me like that. I'm I'm a grown man here. But then there's also people that like refuse to talk about it. And those were the like, let's just normalize it. Something happened. Why not just address it, talk about it. And, and I think that's where people like, oh, I don't know what to say. Like that is the worst thing to say. Tell me it sucks. Tell me I feel bad for you. Tell me something, say something. Don't say others. I don't know what to. Say, address the situation, don't let it be an elephant. Yeah, the. Elephant in the room was the worst.

1:06:18 Yeah, I bet. And then when like, yeah, I had people ask about the tattoo and I tell them and like, oh, I'm so sorry for asking. Like you don't think I'd about something visible and like, why don't you not to ask about it? It's like just be normal about it. Don't be weird. I'm not weird about it. And that was that was like my my goal was just normalize talking about death because everyone deals with it. Sure, mine was at 28. She was she was 31 when she died. Sure, like I guess the ideal is 8090 years old, but everyone deals with it. So let's just normalize it. We're on a weird ass rock hurling through space that we don't know anything about. Like I think this is a this, it's been a huge benefit for me in my life that I miss that bone.

1:07:01 Like I miss the bone of like, oh, I don't want to like I shouldn't bring this up or something. It's actually quite the opposite for me. Like I got to know like that's why you. Asked a question. I don't know if I should have said that one out loud. Yeah, I've had some foot in the mouth moments, getting a little too deeper, uncomfortable with people in situations that I shouldn't have, but it makes me feel alive and it. Makes and if you have a microphone in front of you, then you are allowed to do that. Right. Yeah, because it's it's my get out of jail free card. Like that's what it's here all about. We're here to tell the story. So really, this is just my excuse to do what I would do in everyday life because I've had some scenarios where I might have gone a little too far or got a little too personal with someone that immediately locks up. But I think it's far better than the opposite what you're talking about. I can't stand being in a room or a conversation when you know there is like potential things that could be talked about that are real, but they're being danced around. I'm like, I got to get to it here. We got to get to the point.

1:07:54 Let's talk about what The thing is, and I don't know, that's it's something that it's it's it's I have to so I miss the bone of the awkward like I I definitely wouldn't have been That's good. I wouldn't have been the person like I'm so sorry. I would have been like how it how is this going for you? Like, and often through the lens, like it might not come off this way, but it's more like looking like, OK, I want to be there with you. And most of the time I'm just looking to pluck out a place of value that I can maybe try to help in a way or something. But it's all well-intentioned. Sometimes it's just the package is a little bit, it's a little bit kind of in your face. It's right there. Like I'll ask the tough ones, but I don't know. It's, it's better, better for me than the opposite because I know how I feel in those scenarios.

1:08:40 Like, Oh my God, hearing you talk through that and like thinking about yourself in those social scenarios, it makes my skin crawl thinking about just somebody tap dancing around feeling real bad for me or something. Let's let's talk about it. I feel like shit, I feel great. Here's what it is. And we're on this weird rack again. Doesn't particularly matter. OK, so I want, I'm going to switch gears considerably here, but in our e-mail exchanges, you joked about being a Bears fan. Yeah, absolutely sucks, dude. That's yeah. So see some things. I'll do some. Shit in my life. So it being a Bears fan prepared me for a lot of bad things in life and disappointments, yeah. So when you say you moved to Wisconsin, is that where you were? Did you move here from Illinois?

1:09:22 Yep, I grew up about 40 minutes South of Chicago, right on the Indiana border. It it took me 1/2 hour to get to Soldier Field. OK, I didn't go there as often but grew up watching the Blackhawks, White Sox, Bulls. I grew up in the Michael Jordan era of the Bulls. And then I went to College in Milwaukee and have been in Wisconsin ever since. I believe it's this this summer or it was last summer, is now going to be the the transition where I've spent over half of my life in Wisconsin. Good for you, I love Wisconsin. Talk about a good decision deal. You got a Wisconsin lake tattooed? On your eye, I just. The football team is the only thing that I still despise spies, but everything else I'm in. Well, it's probably hard to get over that there. There's a living through the Bears period that you did. It always sucks when someone beats you a lot, a lot. And just like some devastating things, like you have to have bad dreams about the Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, Randall Cobb, like coming back from the knee. I I told myself when I moved to Green Bay, I would go to the Packers games.

1:10:29 I would enjoy myself. I wouldn't be a Dick about it. I'm not going to cheer for them, but I'll just be there and I will enjoy it. But I will never go to a Bears game because it will hurt too bad to watch them lose in person in Lambeau Field. I went to every Bears game except for the one that they won on Thanksgiving, that awful rainy like 40�� green night. Like, OK, so I've seen 7 losses and I missed the one that they won. But last January we took Brecken to his first Bears game and it was in like the final 10 seconds. We we bought the tickets to the last second. We were five rows behind the Bears bench for ridiculously cheap tickets for that, that close and field goal opportunity at give or take 40 yards. And like, I've seen this play out so many times in my life. I know they're going to just fail at this so badly. So I can't even, like, get excited that we're here. I'm just ready to walk out.

1:11:30 Like, we had it so close and then they made the field goal and it was one of those absolute core memories with Brecon and me. Like he was ecstatic and just, yeah, so, so I've now, I've now seen some success at Lambeau and I'm comfortable with that. So you're indoctrinating him to be a bears A. 1000% that's a bummer. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens. He's I was the only one influencing him and here we are. Man, I I am a little bit nervous about the Bears moving forward. Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams is going to be a problem. Yep, for a while I wasn't sold on him. Like I wasn't either. I love the, I, I was really confident about the, you know, look at the string of USC quarterbacks and what's happened and, you know, it'll just be another Bears thing. And the string of Bears quarterbacks. I'm 36 years old.

1:12:19 You've had far Rogers love in my lifetime. I've had 43 quarterbacks starting for the Bears in my lifetime. That's more than one a year that is horrendously bad scouting. Terrible. And and it adds even more perspective when you think about all the years with Jay because like, he his tenure was pretty long. So that makes it even worse to think about Jay Cutler. He's always funny. I always kind of like Jay Cutler. He was one of those guys that you kind of love to hate. Hated the love. Yeah. Yeah. My, my passion was sexy. Rexy, though, took us to the Super Bowl, and then Peyton Manning devastated us. Yeah, and I. Love Peyton Manning up until then, and now I'm just.

1:13:01 Rex was so bad he that was such. Generally Kyle Orton though, because that was that was his backup who also played that year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He that was such a good team that y'all had like to think about. Devin Hester was one of the greatest. Yeah. Specialty players, Ever. Yeah. Yeah, so opening that Super Bowl 2005 or 6, the kickoff, Devin Hester returns the touchdown. First time that's ever happened. Like, Oh my, the Bears might win the Super Bowl and then the man's just take by like the Bears are not winning the Super Bowl. How do we start like that and then just fall so hard? Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm glad you spent over half your life in Wisconsin.

1:13:42 Now you can. You can be an honorary Wisconsin even if you're a Bears fan like everyone. Has their flaws. Everyone does have. Their but I'm I'm loyal. That's yeah, you show. Despite, despite all the signs to not be loyal, yeah, I'm still loyal. Yeah, that's a bummer. What? What? What College in Milwaukee did you go to? What's Council? Lutheran College. OK, Small, small D3 school. I played soccer there. OK. Love Mosky. OK, All right. So played soccer. That's a that's a piece I didn't know. Do you still like play rec league sometime? I did up until I was 31 or 32. Two weeks in to that season. It was the first time I had played over 30 and I not only tore my ACL, I exploded it. So now I've I've hung it up now because that was miserable to go through.

1:14:30 That's a theme, dude. We we know the age we stopped. Doing Because I was still trying to play like I was 21. Yeah. And my body was not Yeah. So now I golf. Yeah, I had the same thing, dude. I used to hoop a lot and I was hooping with people that were younger than I am and I was thinking I was younger than I am. And it was a it was A and ankles. So that happens in basketball all the time. But it was just a way worse ankle than I've ever done. And I can't do it anymore. And it's back to the age. And it's like, OK, you're done with this. Let's talk about the next. Chapter Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, now Brecken's playing soccer and I'm out, like watching him. Like, I just want to be out there and and playing. I miss it, but yeah, it was time. Yeah, I'm still going to kick Rave's ass and horse and stuff, absolutely, and I'll beat him in one-on-one for a long time. But Fives isn't going to be isn't going to be in my future. Any maybe maybe when he's five you can play his five year old friends for a couple years, right? Right.

1:15:25 Man, there's a there's a few different directions we could go, but I first I just wanted I appreciate you sharing the story like it's now getting to know you a little bit. It it might come a little bit more free than it does for some, because you seem very comfortable talking about it, talking about the thing of let's just get it out there and talk about it. But I know it's not easy. So I appreciate your time man. Yeah, I think it's, it's very early on in the diagnosis. And then especially right after she died, it was, I want to ensure something good comes out of a shitty situation for for a while I was hosting blood drives. I had no idea that cancer patients needed so much blood given to them.

1:16:13 Thought it was just for physical trauma victims losing blood, but anyone in the hospital needs a whole lot of blood. So I guess that was my my little way to give back. I at the time the American Cancer Society had something called the Real Men Wear Pink campaign to get guys involved in the fight against breast cancer. So I did that for a couple years. I turned my Jeep pink, drove around with a pink Jeep for a while. So I did like different cool things to just raise awareness and, and fundraise about $50,000 to the American Cancer Society in just a few years. It's like I knew how to fundraise. That was the easy part of the Remember to Live foundation. Like I, I've fundraised the capital campaign, I've fundraised for the American Cancer Society. I knew how to tell a story that has some sort of an emotional hook that convinced people to give money to something that they also believe in.

1:17:01 And so yeah. And now, now my, my big fun one. I, I created a bucket list for a school project in in college. I was actually down at Disney World for an internship and they have Disney University. So I created a bucket list there. And one of the items was to complete a century bike ride. So there's a Aurora Baycare has a a century bike ride, 100 miles on June 6th. So I'm currently training for that. I rode 50 miles this morning, my longest bike ride ever. Before you came here. Yeah. So like an hour and a half before I came here. I couldn't walk from my garage to my door because my legs were cramping up so bad. Nice. So yeah. So June 6th, so we're we're raising money for Remember to Lift Foundation by riding 100 miles on June 6th. OK, 100 miles.

1:17:42 What's the route? Where? Where? The easiest explanation because this is also the only thing I know about it. We started Aurora Hospital on the east side of Green Bay and we ride to Lake MI and then we turn around and we ride back to Aurora. OK, nice. Has cycling always been a thing for you? No. I have biked before. I mean, like just for fun, like I enjoy, you know, a quick 10 mile stepping down the trail or one of my favorite pastimes was biking to go get a Bloody Mary or now with a a nine year old we biked to go get ice cream a lot. Yeah, it's like that. Absolutely. But yeah, 100 miles is just one of those one of those things that like that sounds really cool to. Complete back to the idea guy.

1:18:24 That's that's. The ideas are really big. Coming on in execution, that is definitely the idea guy coming up. That's great. So century, 100 miles. I'm trying to put that in perspective. So I'm kind of a cheater. I have an E bike. Oh yeah, that would be really nice right about now for me. Yeah, dude, yeah. I don't have. I don't walk too hard. I don't struggle after I'm done, but I can. I've been, I've done like 30-40 miles. I'm trying to just picture living in the moment of not having the pedal assist because I'm not the you know, people think you buy an E bike and you just drive the throttle everywhere and ride like a dirt bike. Like I still get AI did it for a workout. You're not running a motorcycle here?

1:19:05 Yeah. It's it's just more fun, like I can go further faster and I I can get to my destination. But hundred 100 miles. So that so you rode 50 miles. So what happens in a day, right? Yep. OK, so how long did it take you to ride 50 miles this morning? Today was 3 1/2 hours, OK, The last ten were absolutely miserable. I was going into the wind nice and I don't know, my legs were just like, I don't want to pedal anymore. And it was, it was a little a little struggle. So I have I have 50 more miles to get in shape for. I was going to say, it's only halfway there. Yeah, and we're a couple months out. Seven weeks, 7 weeks, yeah. So how hard going to be? Yeah, right. It's the idea guy. He knows they'll figure it out when you get there. So how long have you been training for it? When did you start?

1:19:52 Well, this was probably my fifth ride over the last month and a half. I was, I was in Antigua for a week. I was in Florida for a week. There was a week on either side of that where my bike was getting maintenance. So I actually took it to the bike hub in Green Bay and I was like, hey, can I just get a tune up? There's nothing actually wrong with it, but I'm training for 100 mile bike ride and just looking over do whatever you got to do to just help it run smoother. And he looks at the bike and he goes. You know, there's more efficient bikes that can get you 100 miles than this one. Like, yeah, I'm sure there are, but I also don't want to pay $10,000 for a bike. I have a working bike. Yeah, it might just suck the ride 100 miles on, but I'll do it. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's a good line of thought though, because it's going to suck either way, right? Yeah. So you might as well just do with what you have, not have it suck and spend 10 grand. Right, exactly.

1:20:36 That would double suck. Yeah. So what about the, I'm guessing travel's probably transformed for you too, right? Like you probably look at travel with your son a different way, like you spoke earlier, but kind of piggybacking on your wife's travel and stuff. Is that the case? Like are, do you have more intentionality around travelling now? Travelling has been something that I've, I've grown up with. My mom worked for the airlines for, for many years and then she had kids. But she's still was passionate about travel. So yeah, we've, we've been travelling in my whole life and that's something that I've always loved to do. It's something that I've instilled into Brecon. Megan on her own journey was travelling the world and then we met.

1:21:18 Like, what can we both like travel? Let's continue travelling the world together. Brecon. I remember, you know what, at two and three years old, he'd be just walking to the airport pulling his little carry on and people like pilots would stop you. Like Deck has done this before. Like, yeah, he's he's a well seasoned traveller and he's just so easygoing and and loves exploring is the best eater. So just take him to different cultures and and experiencing new foods with him. I think, I believe it was. I'm not even, I don't know, maybe, maybe some good fact checking, some famous guy. I want to say it was Mr. Rogers or Doctor Seuss or something of the like.

1:21:59 No, I know who was who wrote Huckleberry Finn. The first thing that came in my head is Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain, Mark. Twain. Mark Twain has a quote, I guess that's the same as Mr. Rogers. Mark Twain has a quote that says something along the lines of like, travel is, is the enemy to prejudice. So like getting around and seeing how other cultures, other people live, what their houses look like. We were just in Antigua and we're driving through the middle of the island and talking to Brecon. Like these people, this is what they know. This is how they live. Their houses look much different than the houses we live in. But this is this is the way that they live. This is the way they cook.

1:22:39 So it's just appreciating that in the moment of embracing difference. Yeah. And it's super important to, I think it, it brings to light very apparently where happiness comes from when you do those things. Because no matter how different it is to you, like you look at it and you're like, I wouldn't be happy in this situation, but you see smiles, you see. Laughter they are, because they have joy the way that they live. Yeah. And it's important to remember that happiness is inside of us and we let it out. We let surroundings impact our happiness, but that's not where it lives. It's not where it's born from. It's born from inside of us. Absolutely. And that's a really great way to keep that apparent. Yeah. It's good to have a good eater.

1:23:20 I, we ditched the we ditched the training wheels last week. And my dude's been strider biking for a while. But I, I was telling my neighbors about it the other day and I I, I remember their faces. I thought about hearing you say this. He knew he could do it. But he, I like, we're crafting this little negotiator. He's like, he's like already a lawyer. So I think he was like, intentionally holding back until I offered him something to do it. And I was like, you know what, dude? You and I are going to dinner tonight. Mama's going to have some Mama time. You can pick dinner. All you got to do is try to pedal for me. And he just goes, he's like, I've been waiting for that moment. And he's like, OK, deal. And we do this and he pedals and I knew he's going to be able to do it because he's been strider biking like he did too. And after he's like as he started taking his first pedals, he like looked back at me.

1:24:06 Of course he did like not watching where he's going. Look back at me and says I want chicken tikka masala. That's the best. Love it. So we went and got Indian food because he would pedal his bike. That's awesome. But he won't eat a chicken tender. It's the best. Yeah, I don't know. I probably created a monster, but. An expensive date. Breckens every year for his birthday. It's coming up in a few weeks actually since he was four and I've had friends, Co workers just give me such a hard time about it. His birthday meal has been crab legs since he was four. Yeah, he loves sushi. Oh really loves sushi? Tea. Even at four years old, you know, the the waitress would bring like the kids menu. He's like, does this one have crayons? And like, Nope, just the kids.

1:24:50 And he's like, oh, can I get a real menu then? Yeah. OK. Yes, Sir. It's the best, it's the best. I think there's a lot of value in that. We were at La Carreta the other day. It's our favorite Mexican spot. And you know, he, he of course loves cheese dip. Who doesn't love the cheese dip? And La Carreta, they do it right. Like it's pretty spicy. And the, it was a different server than we normally had. And, and that week they had a Poblano 1 and she's like, you know, we have a Poblano cheese dip that isn't quite as spicy if you want that one. And before I could even say no, he's like, no, I'll take, I'll take the regular. I was like, don't worry about it. He eats spicy food all the time. Like it's going to be cool. He'll eat it. It's the best. I was like, that's my boy. Proud moment. Yeah, man, what was great chatting with you. I appreciate your time.

1:25:34 I appreciate hearing your story. I wish you the best of luck, dude. I, I love, I love anybody following their passion, but when it's something as personal as this and like the ceiling is incredibly high, a content person can see it really quickly and it's like, OK, the snowball is going to roll as soon as you kick it down the hill. So keep doing what you're doing, man. I appreciate you. Well, thank you very much. Thanks for having me. And yeah, appreciate what you're doing here and getting cool people's stories out. You're not saying I'm cool, but you have a lot of cool guests. I think you are, except for the Bears fans. We can leave that on the back burner. Just don't tell anybody that. It'll be all good. Appreciate it. Yeah.